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Stop Aiming For 100% All The Time & Let Yourself Be Human

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Until recently, I would never have called myself a perfectionist. Perfectionists were the girls at school who played violin, were on all the sports teams, got A*s in everything and always did their homework on time. They were the Hermiones of the world.

In contrast, I constantly left tasks unfinished, made a mess wherever I went, couldn’t be bothered to do a hobby for more than a few months and, while I could play sports, I much preferred bunking off, coating myself in Collection 2000 makeup and going to watch the boys play football.

As I got older though, and spent less time thinking about the 1st XI midfield line-up and more time thinking about who I was, I came to realise that I was actually inwardly perfectionist. I didn’t care what I looked like to others (turns out being a mess is cool!) but in my head, the expectations I would set for myself were impossible. And I was failing at every single one.

You almost certainly do this too. “I’m going to start going to the gym in the morning,” you might say to yourself as you dutifully lay out your trainers, your leggings and your sports bra the night before. Come 6am, you’ll have turned off your alarm, rolled over and and decided to catch a few more hours' kip. All day, you’ll beat yourself up mentally. “Why am I so lazy?” you'll think. “Other people, better people than me, would definitely have managed to get up.” And the most common one: “I’m a bad person.”

Of course you’ll be happy to joke about your gym-skiving with friends. “What am I like?” you groan, as everyone else shares their stories of similarly fruitless mornings, some of which you believe, some of which you don’t. Rachel in Accounting, for instance, most certainly did not eat “so much shit” for breakfast, because she never eats anything that's bad for her. That’s just what Rachel’s like. But she’s trying to fit in with you all, so let’s put her to one side for now. This is about you. And you need to realise that the expectations you’re putting on yourself are often going to be impossible to achieve, and you’re only going to let yourself down.

Which is where a trick I learned comes in. My therapist, who is probably one of the greatest human beings I’ve ever met, taught me many things, but one of the best things she taught me comes into play here.

Picture, if you will, a line. One end is 100%, the other is 0%. Say you decide you want to be a morning gym-goer. How many times would you have to go in a week in order to feel like you’ve "succeeded"? For me, until recently, I would have ticked 100%. Anything less than that and I would consider myself a failure.

But 100% is ridiculous. No one does 100% of every commitment. Except Hermione. And knowing what we know now about the impact of stress on physical health, Hermione would be dying an early death faster than you could say "Avada Kedavra".

For normal people, committing to 100% of everything just sets you up for failure. Because of this, you’ll worry about your ability to achieve it, which means you won’t sleep, which means it’ll be harder to get up in the morning, which means you won’t go, which means you'll feel bad about yourself all day, which means you’ll find it harder to go tomorrow, which means you won’t go again... and so on, and so on.

Instead, go back to that line and bring your commitment down a little. Try 40%. That’s not bad at all for a first-time Morning Gym-Goer. All you need to do to succeed at your goal is go twice in a week, and you can definitely do that. Any other trips to the gym will just be a bonus. By succeeding at your goal, you’ll get confidence, you’ll be proud of yourself, you’ll be encouraged to push yourself further and, who knows, in a few weeks’ time, that 40% might move up to 60%. Or it might not. Either way, you’re still succeeding.

Applying this to going to the gym may sound trivial. But truth be told, it'll work in any area of your life that’s getting you down. Doing work on a project outside your day job, for instance. Tell yourself you’re going to spend all weekend tackling it and you'll start late, ruin your Friday and Saturday nights out, not work as hard or as long as you envisioned, and end up, Sunday evening, feeling miserable because you failed yourself. Allot yourself three hours on Saturday afternoon to do a specific task though, and you’ll probably do far more quality, consolidated work than if you’d committed 100% of your weekend.

I guess really, the takeaway from this is don’t be so hard on yourself. Be realistic. Don’t, despite what S Club 7 told you, reach for the stars. Instead, just stretch your hands up in the air a reasonable amount and grab what you can while you’re there. Less than 100% doesn’t make you a failure, it makes you human, and that’s a pretty okay thing to be.

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10 Hollywood Actresses On The Beauty (& Reality) Of Getting Older

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This week on Refinery29, we’re filling your screens and consciousness with inspiring women over 50. Why? Because living in a culture obsessed with youth is exhausting for everyone. Ageing is a privilege, not something to dread. Welcome to Life Begins At...

It’s hard to be excited about later life when you can’t see anyone ahead of you. With so much of our society oriented towards being young (and staying that way), we’re more inclined to look backwards and resent what we’ve lost rather than forwards towards all the good things yet to come. Spoiler: the modern world may not shout about it often, but life goes on when you pass your 20s, 30s and 40s. In fact, it can be pretty incredible.

No industry unashamedly celebrates youth over age quite like show business. This year the annual Annenberg Foundation study found that in more than 1,000 films released between 2007 and 2017, just 24.6% of the women on screen were over the age of 40. Even as the entertainment industry begins to engage in conversations about diversity and accurate representation, only a few months ago actress Jane Fonda revealed that the studio execs behind Book Club (a film about four lifelong friends whose lives change after reading Fifty Shades of Grey) said they would only produce the film if the characters were younger.

"It's an industry that's very much driven by youth and beauty. Ageism is alive and well. I think that's beginning to change though," Fonda said. It’s no secret that it's a different reality for older men, however. We know that women are considered to be at their peak at 20, while men hit their prime in their 40s. Research has even demonstrated how the likes of Harrison Ford, Denzel Washington and George Clooney play characters their own age, but the women playing opposite them either stay the same age or get younger.

But Fonda is right; there is change on the horizon. 2018’s award season was flooded with acceptance speeches by some of Hollywood's most wonderfully talented women, such as Frances McDormand and Nicole Kidman, who thanked actresses over the age of 40 for the "trailblazing performances you have given over your career". She added: "Twenty years ago, we were pretty washed up by this stage in our lives, so that’s not the case now. We have proven these actresses and so many more are proving that we are potent and powerful and viable."

To celebrate these trailblazing women who refuse to be invisible past 50, who challenge society's stubborn perception of the "older woman", who continue to tell stories about life beyond middle age, we've rounded up some of the brilliant things they've said about ageing. Click through and feel really damn good about what later life actually means.

Helen Mirren

"The weird thing is, you get more comfortable in yourself, even as time is giving you less reason for it. When you’re young and beautiful, you’re paranoid and miserable. I think one of the great advantages of getting older is that you let go of certain things."

Photo: David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images

Sigourney Weaver

"When you’re young, there’s so much now that you can’t take it in. It’s pouring over you like a waterfall. When you’re older, it’s less intense, but you’re able to reach out and drink it."

Photo: Stefania D'Alessandro/WireImage/Getty Images

Jamie Lee Curtis

"I am appalled that the term we use to talk about ageing is 'anti'. Ageing is as natural as a baby's softness and scent. Ageing is human evolution in its pure form."

Photo: Mark Metcalfe/Getty Images

Melissa McCarthy

"The older you are, the more interesting you are as a character. There’s a whole life history and knowledge of the world and self-possession that come from someone who has seen more. That experienced point of view is always more exciting."

Photo: David M. Benett/Dave Benett/WireImage/Getty Images

Viola Davis

"What's released me most from the fear of ageing is self-awareness … I’ve never determined my value based on my looks or anything physical. I’ve been through a lot in life and what has gotten me through is strength of character and faith."

Photo: Mike Marsland/Mike Marsland/WireImage/Getty Images

Judi Dench

"It's the rudest word in my dictionary, 'retire'. And 'old' is another one. I don't allow that in my house. And being called 'vintage'. I don't want any of those old words. I like 'enthusiastic' and I like the word 'cut' because that means you've finished the shot."

Photo: Andreas Rentz/Getty Images

Frances McDormand

"There’s no desire to be an adult. Adulthood is not a goal. It’s not seen as a gift. Something happened culturally: No one is supposed to age past 45 — sartorially, cosmetically, attitudinally. Everybody dresses like a teenager. Everybody dyes their hair. Everybody is concerned about a smooth face ... [Looking old is a signal] that you are someone who, beneath that white hair, has a card catalogue of valuable information."

Photo: FREDERIC J. BROWN/AFP/Getty Images

Jane Fonda

"We're still living with the old paradigm of age as an arch. That's the metaphor, the old metaphor: You're born, you peak at midlife, and decline into decrepitude. Age as pathology. But many people today – philosophers, artists, doctors, scientists – are taking a new look at what I call 'the third act' – the last three decades of life. [...] What is the appropriate new metaphor for ageing? A more appropriate metaphor for ageing is a staircase – the upward ascension of the human spirit, bringing us into wisdom, wholeness, and authenticity."

Photo: Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic/Getty Images

Kate Winslet

"I'm baffled that anyone might not think women get more beautiful as they get older. Confidence comes with age, and looking beautiful comes from the confidence someone has in themselves."

Photo: David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images

Emma Thompson

"I’ve never felt so powerful and so calm. I just don’t care, because I’m too old. It’s such a great feeling. You don’t get to judge me. I’m my own person, I don’t care what you think."

Photo: Tim P. Whitby/Getty Images

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This Expert's Guide To Vintage Will Change The Way You Shop

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When we talk about sustainable fashion, we often look to brands making new collections in ethical and eco-friendly ways. While production transparency, fair working conditions and a living wage for everyone in the chain, plus environmentally sound fabric sourcing, are key factors in the creation of new clothing (and which we should all champion when shopping), we tend to overlook vintage pieces as a responsible and mindful way of indulging our love of fashion.

Fashion blogger bryanboy highlighted this in a recent tweet: "If I hear about yet another 'sustainable' clothing line...There’s nothing sustainable about creating something new en-masse. Just stop. Please. You wanna know what’s sustainable? Wearing your old damn clothes."

Considering that the clothing and textile industry is the world’s second largest polluter (oil comes in first), that it takes 2,720 litres of water to manufacture just one T-shirt, and that each year the average shopper throws away £70 worth of clothes, with over 300,000 tonnes of clothing sent to landfill, we have to ask ourselves what our relationship with fashion – sustainable or not – is doing to our planet.

Emily Bothwell, the founder of the hugely successful Peekaboo Vintage, is asking that very question. "Do I really need this? Why am I buying it? It is our responsibility to think more wisely, change our perspective, and shop more considerately." Her new campaign is aiming to drive vintage into the public consciousness, so that when we take steps to alter our shopping habits for the good of the Earth, we consider vintage retailers over browsing for trend-led new pieces that might just end up in landfill or, worse, our oceans.

Designers are under increasing pressure to churn out more collections each year, and the fast pace of Instagram-hosted influencer style has resulted in consumers eager to keep up with a carousel of trends. Something's gotta give. So we're looking to existing clothes from some of the most sartorially exciting decades – hello, '60s and '70s – for our new favourite pieces.

"By changing the way we buy our fashion, we start to value it as a considered purchase," Emily explains. "Taking more care and attention to what we are buying and why we make these impulsive buys reduces non-essential spend, saves money and at the same time, helps the cause. I'm challenging any negative connotations of investing in pre-loved items and highlighting the positive reasons true vintage is a wonderful ethical lifestyle choice offering unique and as-new pieces."

Refinery29 chatted with Emily about holding her own as the only female trader at Portobello Market, the best throwback designers to hunt for, and why vintage never goes out of style.

Hi Emily! Tell me how you first got started in vintage trading.

From age 13, when all my friends were in New Look, I loved trawling charity shops far more than the high street. I'd pull outfits together and my friends would look at me like I was mad! After school, I had a really great career in the music industry, working for Sony and CBS Records, but at the same time I'd go to Portobello Market every weekend, shopping for vintage pieces. I eventually went for it, gave it all up, and set up a stall there.

What was that like?

I wasn't very good at first! I was only 21 and was the only woman there at the time. It was a hardcore atmosphere, full of proper market traders, and as a young woman I had to stand my ground and keep up. Lugging that stall around was no mean feat – I did it in all weathers and through three pregnancies!

And where did the name Peekaboo come from?

My deep obsession is vintage Ossie Clark. I read that he called a skirt of his the peekaboo skirt, which, despite the childish connotations, was really sexy. Everything he did had something revealing, whether it was an exposed back, a little bit of cleavage, or the way a skirt opened. I love that concept, so I named my brand after that.

You were at Portobello Market for 12 years – what happened next?

Topshop brought me in as a pop-up 20 years ago and I never left! I've seen such changes in the high street over the past two decades. But it's really sad, you used to have to fight for a space at Portobello Market but now there's hardly anyone there.

I assume that's because of the internet – people find their vintage on eBay, Instagram and concessions now.

It's true, although I couldn't bear to buy vintage and not feel the fabric or see it in person. Also, we're the most-followed concession on ASOS, which is incredible, but we sit in a sea of vintage sportswear brands. There're so many other types of vintage out there waiting to be found.

Speaking of, which decade do you buy and sell the most of?

I was always obsessed with the '70s – I was born in that decade, but wish I'd been a teenager during it. I'm still true to that love now. However, I'd rarely put someone in a head-to-toe vintage look. It's all about that mix and match, eclectic vibe that British girls are so great at. We never commit to a whole look. In Europe they really don't get vintage at all, it's all about the labels and logos for them. I think we're really unique here in how we put things together.

What do you think people who are afraid of buying vintage should know?

What I'd say to someone unsure whether to invest in a beautiful vintage piece is that it's already dated; it's already 40 or 50 years old, so it's not going to feel 'last season' when you step out in it six months after purchasing. It's timeless. I have so many pieces that aren't relevant all of the time, but I'll pack them away until they feel fresh again. That ties into our message about sustainability, too – you won't bin it because it feels out of sync with current trends.

I've been building my collection of vintage Laura Ashley this year; which other brands should we be on the lookout for?

Thea Porter, Mr Darren, Gunne Sax, 1970s Wallis, and Jeff Banks, who started Next but was a really incredible designer before he founded the brand.

Finally, what tips do you have when shopping vintage?

Firstly, the quality of vintage shoes is really bad. They didn't have the same restriction on what went in the heel, so when you try them on now you feel really unstable. It's the one item I avoid. Secondly, if you love it, get it. The arm might be a bit tight or the bust too loose, but taking your piece to be altered extends the life and means it's tailored perfectly for you, so it will last forever. Never buy anything with underarm stains! It never comes out, so I avoid that like the plague. Iron everything inside out to avoid burn marks. And in the '70s they put packets in clothes to avoid moth damage. Unfortunately the packets let off this horrific smell which you can never remove – it's not that musty vintage smell, it's much, much worse...

Shop our favourite Peekaboo Vintage pieces here:

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"I Will Never Be Able To Thank Her Enough": The Joys Of Female Friendship Over 50

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This week on Refinery29, we’re filling your screens and consciousness with inspiring women over 50. Why? Because living in a culture obsessed with youth is exhausting for everyone. Ageing is a privilege, not something to dread. Welcome to Life Begins At...

Nosing through my daughter’s cards on her recent birthday, I came across one that made me catch a breath. This particular card was from one of my daughter’s closest friends. Inside she’d written: "I just love you so much." I felt moved by these simple, thoughtful words and delighted that my girl possessed such a caring pal.

Friends, the very best kind, are marvellous beings. They pop up in our lives in a random kind of order and spark from an assortment of situations and places. An anxious stare across a playground, a shared joke at the workplace printer or that spontaneous bonding over a glass or three at a party.

Our friends are instrumental in supporting, easing and brightening our way. They influence (without always meaning to) our thoughts, our ideas and our lifestyle choices. And they help shape us into the people we are or aim to be.

They are not the only important people enriching lives, of course. In my world I count on an awesome husband, wonderful kids, amazing sisters and a damn fine brother to also have my back.

Navigating my way through these later years, though, I do feel particularly gifted and lifted by the female friends who surround me. Few pals have been with me since my beginning, although a couple are still along for the ride. The friends I look to most now give me real joy. They listen to and support me and they pull me up when necessary. They offer wise counsel and the positive spin. And they make me laugh. A lot.

Examining the nature of friendships is nothing new. Aristotle pretty much nailed it with his take, which is still considered valid today. He divided friendship into three distinct types: utility, pleasure and virtue. The utility friendship is the one you find in a work-style setting, where alliances are based on mutual benefit, while the pleasure friendship springs from its participants bonding over shared activities or pursuits.

So far, so good. These types of friendship come and go as our lives change and move on. Aristotle didn’t see them as a bad thing; he just pointed out that they could be limited in depth and quality.

The third kind of friendship he outlined is the virtue friendship, a relationship based on the goodness we find in each other. This friendship, looked after, will grow, strengthen and endure. In short, it’s the friendship most of us chase and aspire to.

The virtue relationship may exist and flourish at every life stage, but as relationship counsellor Karen Apperley explains, it’s often significantly present in friendships between older women.

"The virtue friendship encompasses the values many of us want to be able to give to and receive from our closest friends," she says. "These include respect, honesty, trust, empathy, warmth, humour, shared experience, compassion and love."

"As we get older and the quality of friendships becomes more important to many women, it’s the values of the virtue friendship we’re looking for from those friendships."

This emphasis on seeking quality of friendships as we age is touched on constantly when seeking out the thoughts and opinions of my own friendship group.

Ali, 57, says: "As an older woman I may have more spare time. But at the same time I really value that time. I don’t waste it on the wrong people anymore."

"I think that now, in my mid 50s, I’ve reached a stage where I don’t actively seek to make new friends," muses Niccy, 55. "That doesn’t mean I’m not open to meeting new people or enjoying activities and time with them. But I do really want to concentrate on the friends that mean the most to me."

"I think we select, prune and refine our friendships as we become more aware of our mortality," says Marie, 54. "We have fewer friendships but they go much deeper."

"I see fewer people more of the time," says Annie, 60, "and these few are the only people I really want to spend my time with."

However, while prioritising quality over quantity is paramount for some, other friends remain open to opportunities.

"I do find my friendship muscle starting to stiffen as I get older," admits Julie, 56. "I don’t actively look to start friendships as much as I did when I was younger. However, I do feel like I should work on that and stay open to friendship – you never know when someone special or influential will come into your life."

Friendships for me personally at this stage in my life are mostly about the quality. But at the same time, I want to remain open to interesting new experiences and people coming my way.

I find my friend pool a rich place, brimming with incredible women. They have come to me from school, work, later education, children, through other friends or have just turned up randomly. Their welcome presence means there are many positive things to say about friendships at this time in my life. Here are just a few:

Illustrated by Assa Ariyoshi.

Parenting tips from friends without kids can be the best

My mum friends have been the natural turn-to as my kids have grown. They still are. I really value their advice. However, in the last few years, some of the best parenting advice I’ve received has come from more unexpected quarters. Several of my female friends who don’t have children themselves have come through with objective, fresh takes on kid issues which have been insightful and massively helpful. A younger me may have felt they weren’t 'qualified' by experience to help. Older me recognises every opinion counts.

Distance makes the heart grow stronger

When I moved out of London to a smaller city five years ago, a big concern was how I’d keep in touch with the friends I left behind. Thank you, digital world with your Instagram, WhatsApp and FaceTime for helping out there. But I also think it’s been good because I’ve had to work a bit harder to keep those connections going. Where that hasn’t been reciprocated, the friendships are history. But the friendships that are left are actually better for it. I go to them, they come to me. We take an hour, a day, a weekend or more together. However long, it’s quality time. Always.

Making new friends isn’t so hard

I have to confess that when I moved, I shamelessly muscled in on friends belonging to a good pal already living in my new city. I came, I saw, I clicked. My friendships with these women have just bloomed from there. That said, I have been trying to test and challenge myself in this still new landscape and make an effort to meet more people. So I’ve joined a gym, signed up to an art class and plan to brave a few more activities this winter. I’ll keep you posted.

Always expect new experiences

Next year I plan to gaze at the Eiger’s north face, shop my way round Copenhagen and loll on a seriously sunny beach far, far away. I am married to a man who considers a trip to Tesco a travel challenge, so it’s kind of serendipitous that my life is turning up friends who, like me, can spare some time away from their emptyish nests and more flexible careers. Family holidays are irreplaceable but expensive; it’s a fact that one can travel cheaper than four. So, just for next year, it’s all about me…and my friends.

Friends never stop amazing you

Not so long ago, someone very dear and close to me was battling a serious addiction. Trying to help and support this person really had me struggling too. And sinking. Suddenly, unexpectedly, a brave friend who had secretly and successfully battled a similar addiction decided to waive her anonymity and share her own experience. All so she could support me better through this horrible, horrible time. I will never be able to thank her enough.

I feel (I hope) that from where I have arrived in life I bring good news about what we may seek, find and enjoy in our friends as we get older. I am constantly meeting real spirit, enthusiasm, challenge, passion, creativity and love from my mates. There’s little complaining, grumpiness or mean spirit to be seen. My friends do not fail me.

And when it comes to showing my appreciation to all those friends I have gathered along my way? There are no words to better those from my daughter’s thoughtful friend: I just really love you.

On a final note, the American poet Anne Sexton had some fierce, passionate words on friendship. "Max" (a section of "The Death Baby") is about the close friendship between Sexton and her fellow poet, Maxine Kumin. I love the empowering strength of these words and the loving, in-it-together, whatever, forever vibe. It says everything I feel about one precious friend right now, at this time in our lives. She knows.

Max

Max and I
two immoderate sisters,
two immoderate writers,
two burdeners,
made a pact.
To beat down death with a stick.
To take over.
To build our death like carpenters.
When she had a broken back,
each night we built her sleep.
Talking on the hot line
until her eyes pulled down like shades.
And we agreed in those long hushed phone calls
that when the moment comes
we’ll talk turkey,
we’ll shoot words straight from the hip,
we’ll play it as it lays.
Yes,
when death comes with its hood
we won’t be polite.

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12 Dead After Gunman Opens Fire In California Bar

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A gunman killed at least 11 bar patrons and a sheriff’s deputy late Wednesday in a mass shooting at a bar holding at an event for college students in Thousand Oaks, CA, officials said. The attack is the second mass shooting in the nation in less than two weeks.

Authorities said that the gunman, who has yet to be named but was a described as a white male, is dead. When he opened fire at the Borderline Bar and Grill, at least 100 people were inside the venue. Official said they believe there's no additional threat.

The sheriff's deputy who was killed was identified as Sgt. Ron Helus, a husband and father who was hoping to retire soon after 29 years in the force. No additional information about the other victims is known at this time.

The White House confirmed it had been briefed about the situation. President Donald Trump addressed the shooting on Twitter, writing: "I have been fully briefed on the terrible shooting in California. Law Enforcement and First Responders, together with the FBI, are on scene. 13 people, at this time, have been reported dead." [Editor's note: Authorities have only identified 12 dead at the moment.]

He added: "Likewise, the shooter is dead, along with the first police officer to enter the bar. Great bravery shown by police. California Highway Patrol was on scene within 3 minutes, with first officer to enter shot numerous times. That Sheriff’s Sergeant died in the hospital. God bless all of the victims and families of the victims. Thank you to Law Enforcement."

The Borderline Bar and Grill is a popular country and western dance hall in the area. The attack there happened just over a year after a gunman killed 58 people at a country music festival in Las Vegas.

This is a developing story. Check back for updates.

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Meet The Newbie Victoria's Secret Model Rocking Her Buzzcut & Gap-Tooth Look

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It wasn’t Iesha Hodges' first rodeo when she walked into the casting room for this year’s Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. “I actually tried out for the show last year but didn’t get the job,” she tells Refinery29. But this year was different.

Equipped with more experience, more confidence, and a bold new buzzcut, Hodges landed the gig and will be walking in her first show alongside VS elite like Cindy Bruna, Bella Hadid, and Kendall Jenner in just a few days — and on T.V. come December when it airs for the world. She’s also one of many models of colour shaking up the status quo by wearing natural and short hair despite the "angel waves" that dominated the runway and advertisements for years. “It’s such an honour to be a part of this show,” she says.

Hodges has been a model for seven years and has appeared in campaigns for brands like Marc Jacobs and Miu Miu, but it was just two years ago that she started to lead the pack when she chopped her hair into a TWA (teeny weeny Afro). “I woke up one day and realised that I’d been using my hair as a crutch. I was on this self-love journey so I just shaved it all off and bleached it blonde all by myself,” she says. Given the harsh standards of the modelling industry, most models refrain from drastically altering their look in fear of limiting their chances of booking work, but for Hodges, her haircut did the opposite.

I'm a girl from Brooklyn with a buzzcut fade and gap-toothed grin — and I want girls like me to feel beautiful, too!

Cutting my hair came with brand new confidence," she says. "It changed my appearance but it gave me a new sense of self. I think everyone else felt that energy when I walked into the Victoria’s Secret casting,” she says. “They believed in me and wanted me to bring something unique to the runway. It has definitely changed my career for the better.”

The self-proclaimed "buzzcut guru" doesn't play about her hair routine: She follows a consistent schedule to keep her fade fresh from the comfort of her own bathroom. "Every five days I shave, bleach, and treat my hair," she reveals. "I use clippers to remove my new growth. After I shave, I apply bleach and 30-volume developer to my head for 45 minutes to an hour to get a vibrant platinum colour." The dangers of bleach on hair — especially natural hair — is no secret, but Hodges relies heavily on conditioners and Olaplex to keep her strands healthy. "A good conditioner is so important for bleached hair, and I can't go a week without using Olaplex because it makes my hair so strong and prevents it from breaking off."

The model often takes styling matters into her own hands on set. "Literally when I'm on set no one touches my hair — there's nothing to touch," she jokes. "The most they'll do is rub my head with some oil, but otherwise I make sure to arrive at every shoot freshly shaved and bleached so I just have to go into makeup."

Courtesy of One Model Management.

Hodges’ joins the new wave of Victoria's Secret models who are embracing their natural hair on the runway and simultaneously expanding the idea that "sexy" is more than long blonde beach waves. You may remember Maria Borges and Herieth Paul both graced the stage in 2017 with short 'fros. Additionally, various models like Aiden Curtiss, Jourdana Phillips, Cheyenne Maya Carty, and more have different natural hair textures that include cropped fades and 3C curls.

“Representation is important and I am extremely excited to walk alongside other women of colour," Hodges says."I am also grateful to carry the legacy of legendary models, like Tyra Banks and Naomi Campbell, who have walked the same stage. In the digital age, it’s important that girls can tune in and see women they can relate to. I'm a girl from Brooklyn with a buzzcut fade and gap-toothed grin — and I want girls like me to feel beautiful, too!”

Her confidence to walk the runway didn't bloom overnight, however, and according to Hodges she still struggles with various insecurities — including her skin. "I struggled with acne all through high school and wore a lot of long extensions to cover up my face. Since then I've had some hyperpigmentation, but shaving my head has forced me to embrace my flaws — I can't hide behind anything — what you see is what you get."

To keep acne at bay and fade scars, Hodges takes the "less is more" approach to skincare. "Simple and natural works better for me," she tells us. She relies on African Black Soap, Aveeno Daily Scrub, and Weleda Skin Food to keep her complexion clean and nourished. "As far as hyperpigmentation goes, clearing that up is still a work in progress but exfoliating definitely helps." When she's off-duty, her makeup routine is minimal but when she's wearing foundation it's usually Fenty's Pro Filt'r followed by Nars concealer. "That's the dynamic duo right there."

If you've been debating a big chop or switching up your look for the new year, Hodges encourages you to take the plunge: "I think every woman should cut their hair at least once in life because the feeling is so liberating. You aren't defined by how long or short your hair is, it really just boils down to owning who you are." You can catch her (and many other models) sprinkle #blackgirlmagic down the runway (and serve lots of hair inspo) when the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show airs in December.

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H&M x Moschino Has Landed!

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Update: It's here! H&M x Moschino has landed in selected stores and online, and it doesn't disappoint. The collection is extensive and spans both menswear, womenswear and lifestyle products - think a fluffy teddybear wearing a T-shirt reading 'This Is Not A Moschino Toy.' Below, we've selected our favourite items - be quick, though, as the fanfare surrounding this collaboration is sure to mean a sell-out by lunchtime.

This article was originally published April 15, 2018.

If you are obsessed with Coachella fashion, you have heard of Coachella darling Jeremy Scott. Friend to the stars and 12-time Coachella attendee, the creative director of Moschino is known for his casual glam pieces.

In an announcement made by model Gigi Hadid at Moschino’s annual Coachella party, Scott was revealed as H&M’s latest collaborator. A more formal statement was reported Sunday in Vogue.

In the past, Scott has admitted to designing an entire collection using fashion inspiration drawn from Coachella. He calls the world’s largest music festival “the most glam hands-down.” Part of Scott’s motivation to work with H&M was his desire to reach younger fans that cannot afford high end fashion.

Scott told Vogue, “This collaboration makes me feel like I’m able to give something again. Lots of young people love my clothes...and we make phone cases and little things like that, but in order to have a ‘lewk,’ I love that this is now something that will be affordable."

The pop culture designer made a name for himself while working with icons including Björk, Beyoncé, Madonna, Kanye West, and Lady Gaga. His collections are often inspired by American history and what is going on in the world around us. Moschino’s fall/winter 2018 presentation was a cultural commentary on the state of American politics.

In addition to Moschino, Scott has also designed for Adidas and Ugg. He is the latest in the growing list of notable designers H&M has enlisted, including Alexander Wang, Maison Margiela, Jimmy Choo, and Versace.

Moschino x H&M will include womenswear and menswear, with casual and dressy pieces ranging from around £15 to £200. The collection stands to be a merge of the affordable fashion H&M shoppers have grown to expect, along with the trendy fashion Moschino is loved for.

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Glossier Just Dropped A New Lipstick Formula — & This Is How It's Made

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How Glossier Gen G Lipstick Is Made

You know the saying, 'If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it'? Well, Glossier does not subscribe to that notion — at least, not where its lipstick is concerned, because the brand just took its best-selling formula, switched up the packaging a little, and churned out a Generation G 2.0. The new lipsticks, which retail at £14 each, lend lips a veil of matte, just-blotted colour and come in six shades — Cake (subtle peach), Like (light, cool pink), Crush (hot raspberry pink), Jam (deep berry), Leo (neutral cocoa brown) and Zip (poppy red).

In the video above, the rubber-gloved chemists open the doors of the top-secret Glossier lab to walk us through the entire formulation process of their new-and-improved Gen G lipsticks — and we're taking you behind the scenes.

Staring with the base mixture, a combination of sunflower-seed oil and synthetic beeswax is churned together in a deep metal basin, until it melts down to form the creamy starting point. Soft blurring powders are sprinkled into the mixture, which give the final stick formula that almost powdery blotted-matte finish, while the addition of a viscous emollient gel gives a silky consistency and binds the film formers that give the colour its long-lasting wear.

Speaking of the fun stuff (that'd be the colour), after the base ingredients are fully blended, it's time to throw in the pigments. Based on the shade — from pale-pink Cake to deep-berry Jam — somewhere between four to six pigments are blended together create each one of the six Generation G colours.

The coloured mixtures are then poured into the chubby new silicone bullets — which now allow for effortless single-swipe application — and the excess spillage is satisfyingly scraped off the moulds with a metal spatula. One final swatch test ensures the pigment and texture are on point before the bullets are placed in trays, sealed with a big 'G' sticker shade label, and sent off into the wide world of Glossier, for you to shop online at Glossier.com.

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Michelle Obama's London Talk Sold Out In Minutes & Twitter Has Lost It

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Michelle Obama is loved and celebrated the world over, so the frenzy surrounding her upcoming memoir, Becoming, is no surprise. But no one could have predicted just how much public interest there'd be in catching an IRL glimpse of the former first lady in London.

Tickets to a talk with Obama and award-winning novelist Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie at London's Royal Festival Hall next month sold out within minutes this morning, with people on social media saying there were more than 60,000 people ahead of them in the queue.

Obama will be appearing at the 2,900-seat venue to discuss her memoir, in which she recounts her experiences of childhood, motherhood, her eight years living "at the world's most famous address", and the life lessons she's gleaned along the way.

Tickets have been spotted for sale on the controversial online marketplace Viagogo for more than £70k – more than 570 times their face value, the Guardian reported. A spokesperson for the Southbank Centre said it had asked the site to remove the tickets, but they were still available on Thursday afternoon.

After setting up multiple devices and rallying the troops to no avail, thousands of fans were understandably disappointed to have missed out. But at least they were good-humoured about it on social media.

Many couldn't believe the audacity of the touts flogging them on ticket resale websites for multiple thousands.

While others, once they realised all hope was lost, decided to take desperate measures, calling on white people with tickets to "cure racism" by giving them up, and some even putting in a word with the former president himself.

There's now a petition calling on the Southbank Centre to livestream the event, and women's groups are urging it to do the same. Fingers crossed that fans without £70k to spare will get a share of the action.

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8 Erotic Photos That'll Change The Way You See The Fetishised Female Body (NSFW)

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In the past, international art fair Paris Photo has been a little guilty of hero worship. Throughout its history, the annual event has welcomed the big denizens of the photography business as the headline act. And they have almost always been middle-aged men used to breezing through the industry. The acclaim at the Grand Palais has usually been lavish.

"This year, in the wake of the #MeToo movement, we decided to do something different," the artistic director of the fair, Christopher Wiesner told Refinery29. That "something different" turned out to be the first edition of Curiosa, a group exhibition curated by Martha Kirszenbaum.

It is a welcome antidote. Paris Photo is giving its biggest stage to predominantly female and LGBT artists who have never, until now, been properly recognised or acknowledged. The group exhibition, Kirszenbaum says, aims to "challenge our gaze on the fantasised and fetishised body".

"I worked on the basis that the body is political," Kirszenbaum said during a tour of the show. "I hope to ask us to reflect on our relationships to power, subservience and domination."

Curiosa includes historical works by male artists, who, using the female form, have also been capable of interrogating the male gaze. It includes female artists who were using erotic and sensual imagery to say something more broadly about their sense of self, their aspirations for self-expression and their ideals of freedom. And it includes strikingly modern interpretations of lost, archival and vernacular photographs.

Opening today and covering 210 square metres of the main floor under the balcony of the Grand Palais' Salon d’Honneur, female and queer artists who have largely been ignored by the photography industry, and often faced censorship in their own cultures, are finally getting top billing. About time.

"Tendres Caresses"
Renate Bertlmann

The reality that sexuality isn’t a polarised thing, that gender isn’t cleanly separated between "man" and "woman" – that a vast sea of nuance exists in between – has only really been acknowledged in this decade.

But Renate Bertlmann, working in the 1980s, was making work that was strikingly (to use a modern term) non-binary.

Her work would often include phallic imagery amid images of the female body. She would often borrow from pornography or contraception, using such imagery as a way of interrogating gender and sex in a world happy to aggressively commercialise such things. As evidenced in Curiosa, she even posed sex dolls in classic domestic scenes – having dinner or sleeping on separate sides of the bed.

Tendres caresses, 1976- - 2009 © Renate Bertlmann

"Untitled"
Jo Ann Callis

Jo Ann Callis was born in Ohio, in 1940. By the age of 23, she was living in California with her first husband and two small children. In the mornings, her husband would go to work, her kids to school, and she would be expected to stick around, do the dishes, tend to the home and wait for her family to return.

Her photography was, in its early stages, kept entirely secret. Her husband didn’t know she would take these self-self-portraits in their home during the day until, years later, she found the confidence to show them to a mentor. She first exhibited her work 10 years after it was made at the Woman’s Building, a hub for feminists in downtown Los Angeles.

Callis' self-portraits are a playful, knowing and irreverent take on the ironies of her life. But they’re notable for the fraught use of constrictions – twine, belts, tape are wrapped around her body – offering an intensely personal insight into her desires, frustrations and anxieties.

Untitled from Early Color portfolio – 1976, © Jo Ann Callis courtesy

"Sao Paulo"
Antoine d'Agata

d'Agata is a complex photographer and his presence here, I imagine, would not necessarily be welcomed by many of those who define themselves as feminist.

Born in Marseilles, Antoine d’Agata left France in 1983, living primarily between New York and London. In the early '90s he took courses at the International Center of Photography, where his teachers included Larry Clark and Nan Goldin.

Clark and Goldin’s inspiration is clear. There’s a strange paradox between the distance and closeness of his images, his involvement in and removal from his subjects.

It's perfectly possible to talk of a d’Agata image in relation to a Vermeer or Munch painting, such is his use of light and colour through exposure and contrast. He has an ability to create nightmarish images of a zombified, animalistic people. Yet, purely aesthetically, they are beautiful.

His images often combine aggressive, carnal sex with drug use. The women included in his pictures are often impoverished, from the lower rungs of the developing world. He wrests any control from the women he photographs, demanding they succumb their bodies entirely to his image. A member of Magnum Photos, he is ostensibly a documentary photographer, despite his willingness to dress up his images in ostentatious art-speak. But should we censor such images? Is it not art’s purpose to reflect on the lives of others, however bleak?

Sao Paulo - 2009 © Antoine d'agata

"A Heartless Room"
Kenji Ishiguro

Kenji Ishiguro will always be known for his photographs of Hiroshima’s rehabilitation after the atom bomb.

He visited the once-devastated city 20 times between March and August 1965, 20 years after the explosion, capturing on the streets of the city an array of private, intimate moments and everyday oddities. But also, always built into the frame were the visual scars from the weapon of mass destruction.

"I had no intention whatsoever to take photographs that demonstrate the misery caused by the atomic bomb," he once wrote. Ishiguro’s photographs showed a people determined to continue with their lives – to work hard, have kids, get drunk, have sex and fall in love. The photographs reflect a period of instability and upheaval, a rearrangement and liberalisation. Yet they also reflect a city, and a culture, whose terrible memory was very much alive.

"A Heartless Room" might be seen to reflect this. The curved beauty of the model’s body is complicated by the subject’s willingness to hide her face from the camera. What, we wonder, is she thinking?

A heartless room - 1976 © Kenji Ishiguro

"If, Thee Shoo-T Fits A-T... "Where is I.T.?"
Genesis Breyer P-Orridge

Genesis Breyer P-Orridge was born Neil Andrew Megson in February 1950 in Manchester.

To the bewilderment of his teachers, parents and most people who came into contact with him in the Manchester and Birmingham of the 1960s, Megson developed a fascination with occultism and its presence in avant-garde art while at Solihull School. Megson dropped out of the University of Hull to move into a countercultural commune in Hackney, London, where he became known as Genesis P-Orridge.

There he met Christine Carol Newby, who went by Cosey Fanni Tutti. The pair fell in love, founded the experimental band Throbbing Gristle, and created highly explicit photographs, collaged in a way that expressed their relationship, based in a sense of opposition to the mainstream. Tutti would shoot pornographic film and model for magazines, incorporating the images of herself into the collages. It was a deliberate and conscious embrace of commercial image production to create something much more personal, and much more complex.

If, Thee Shoo-T Fits A-T... "Where is I.T.? - 1999 © Genesis Breyer p-orridge

"Consumer Art"
Natalia LL

In the 1970s, in the conservative and patriarchal Eastern Bloc, a new wave of female artists started to use and project their own bodies in radical and transformative ways. Natalia LL was at the forefront of what has become known as feminist actionism – a way of using the camera performatively to take control of one’s body, to treat it like a canvas, to use it to express freedom and possibility. We now recognise such acts with daily familiarity – a simple selfie, the basic fibre of everyone’s Instagram feed. But Natalia LL and her contemporaries saw the provocative selfie as a political tool, a challenge to the powers that be, an assertion of their rights as young women in a disapproving and controlling world.

Consumer Art - 1974, © Natalia LL

"Mirror Study"
Paul Mpagi Sepuya

One of the only contemporary artists in the exhibition, LA-based Mpagi Sepuya's use of his studio, intermingling his own body with those of collaborators, models and friends, is reminiscent of Andy Warhol’s Factory – a space to explore the aesthetics of what it means to be a non-binary black man in multicultural America. The influences of Robert Mapplethorpe and, more pressingly, Rotimi Fani Koyade are apparent in his ability to aestheticise and beautify the nether regions of his own body. Yet the collaging effect reflects a constant negotiation – a pluralist exchange between himself, his subjects and the viewer. They speak strongly of a young man working through who he is meant to be, and how to get there.

Mirror Study – 2017, © Paul Mpagi Sepuya, Yancey Richardson, Team Gallery, and Document

"Hommage à Pierre M"
Edouard Taufenbach

The contemporary French artist Edouard Taufenbach transforms anonymous, archival sexualised photographs through collage, manipulating and multiplying the original to create huge and dramatic compositions.

His series Spéculaire uses images from the Sebastien Lifshitz collection, an archive built up from scouring Paris' flea markets over three decades. Taufenbach has found moments of caught hedonism and multiplied, fragmented and rearranged them to become, as he says, "objects of visual fantasies".

Hommage à Pierre M, SPECULAR series – 2018, © Edouard Taufenbach

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How To Tell Your Partner That You’re Not Happy With Your Sex Life

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Talking about sex is hard. Telling the person you love that you're not happy with your sex life is even harder. In fact, it might feel impossible to start a conversation about all the things you don't like about having sex with your partner. You might feel that airing your dislikes will make your partner feel rejected, or like you don't love them anymore — and that's not necessarily true.

Instead, disappointment in your sex life usually means that you and your partner aren't communicating your needs and desires clearly. Couples who are struggling with their sex lives often sweep the issues under a rug, precisely because they feel that talking about it will make their partner angry or sad, Vikki Stark, M.S.W., a psychotherapist in Montreal, wrote for Psychology Today.

"Most marriage counsellors know that the biggest problem people face is avoidance," Stark wrote. So how do you get past the fear and talk honestly with your partner?

First, remind yourself that you and your partner love each other, and having an honest conversation will only make your bond stronger. As long as there aren't other problems in your relationship, such as lack of respect or emotional abuse, talking openly about what you want from sex shouldn't be a problem — as long as you're kind about it. Don't go into the conversation angry and don't play the blame game.

At its core, talking about sex is just like any other difficult discussion you have with a partner, even though it might feel more fraught. As with any other disagreement, it's important to talk to each other like you're on the same team, rather than fighting your own side. "Take responsibility for your own behaviour — say, 'I know there are things I do that upset you, and there are things I’m upset with you about. Can we talk about this?'" Jane Greer, New York-based relationship expert and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship, previously told Refinery29.

Maybe you feel that your partner has stopped imitating sex, and that makes you feel less desirable. Your feelings are totally valid, but it won't help to yell and accuse your S.O. of cheating or ask if they don't love you anymore. Instead, use "we" statements and be clear about how you're feeling. You can say something like, "We don't have sex as much as we used to, and that makes me feel like you aren't attracted to me anymore." Stating it that way, without anger, gives your S.O. space to explain why they've stopped initiating sex — it might be that they're stressed or tired from work or they're having their own body image issues and feel less comfortable being intimate.

The same format works with anything else you're missing from your sex life. If you want rougher sex, or softer sex, or are considering an open relationship; no matter what it is, the best way to talk about changing your sex life with your partner is to lay out your desires and ask if they'd be down.

If you do it right, you can even make the conversation sexy as hell. Having "the talk" about wanting to spice up your sex life doesn't have to be an awkward and stiff affair (and neither does asking for consent, fyi). A discussion about sexual desires can be seductive if you frame it correctly. Say something like, "'I was thinking of what it would be like if you just kissed me like [this] for a really long time. Could we try that?'" sex therapist Madeleine Castellanos, M.D., told Brides. "This helps you direct the action without your partner feeling criticised or put down."

So stop sweeping your sexual desires and disappointments under the rug, because nothing is going to get better unless you talk about it.

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Ruth Bader Ginsburg Hospitalised After Falling & Breaking 3 Ribs

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U.S. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has been hospitalised due to three broken ribs, a spokesperson said in a statement.

"Notorious RBG," as she's known by her fans, fell in her office Wednesday evening. She went home anyway, but after experiencing discomfort overnight, she was admitted to George Washington University Hospital for observation on Thursday morning. There, doctors discovered the 85-year-old justice had broken three ribs on her left side.

Typically, it takes around six weeks for broken ribs to heal and justices are set to return to court on November 26. But if Ginsburg's history tells us anything, her injuries won't keep her away from work for long. In 2012, she also cracked two ribs but continued working as she recovered. And when she underwent a heart procedure that same year, she quickly returned to work. Ginsburg, who maintains a rigorous workout regime, is also a survivor of colon and pancreatic cancer. Back then, she was back in the office two weeks after getting surgery.

Of course, many liberals are concerned about Ginsburg's health. She is the oldest justice on the bench and her retirement would give President Donald Trump the opportunity to appoint a third conservative justice to the court. His previous appointments, Associate Justices Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh, have already tilted the balance of the court to the right. In the past, he predicted he could appoint four Supreme Court justice s by the end of his first term.

Over the summer, Ginsburg expressed her resolve to remain on the court for years to come. "I'm now 85," Ginsburg said. "My senior colleague, Justice John Paul Stevens, he stepped down when he was 90, so think I have about at least five more years."

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As Hip-Hop Ignores #MeToo, This All-Girl Record Label Is Creating A New Wave

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TT the Artist has always been an innovator. Her music defies hip-hop genre expectations, and she isn’t afraid of making a statement. She appeared on a 2016 anthem with Mighty Mark entitled “F Trump.” I don’t think I need to clarify what the F means, or which Trump she’s talking about. The Florida native is working to put BMore club — a localised genre of dance music — on the map with her documentary Dark City: Beneath the Beat. On Thursday, she will be joining other artists and DJ’s in Philadelphia for Red Bull Music’s United States of Bass, a celebration of this unique subgenre and the regions — Philly, Jersey, and Baltimore — that have grown it. Describing the music she’s grown to love, TT told Refinery29, “It’s raw; it's gritty; it's hard-hitting. It's party-starting music but it's also a way for people to release. You get off of work, or you need to work out... this music is very liberating.”

But it’s arguable that everything TT does is liberating. She’s been making music for over 10 years. Her tracks have appeared on Comedy Central’s Broad City and multiple seasons of HBO’s Insecure. And she’s done it all completely without the backing of any major label. “I paved my own way without having any booking agents or management, not by choice, but just by lack of people really engaging in different style of artist I was,” she told Refinery29.

Now, she wants to help other female artists do the same thing. TT recently launched Club Queen Records, an all-female record label that functions to give other women access to the same opportunities she’s experienced. All of the employees are female, all the artists are female, all music and projects are made by females, for females — with a focus on women of colour in hip-hop, dance, and R&B genres.

TT explained “[It’s] supposed to be a platform that would bring women together and show us how to be our own bosses, how to put our own music out, how to create our own wave, open our own doors, create our own opportunities, and not always have to wait for the validation of the male gatekeepers and the business.” Her latter point, about male gatekeepers, is painfully accurate. The rap game is notoriously known for its revolving door of diverse male talent — from Drake to Tekashi69 — while only propping up a couple of commercially successful female MC’s at a time. More damning still is this: While the rest of the entertainment industry — notably film and television — reckons with the treatment of women in the midst of the #MeToo movement, the music industry has been noticeably indifferent. This is especially true of hip-hop, which still hasn’t figure out ways to hold predatory, violent men accountable.

In this hostile landscape, Club Queen Records is essentially a safe haven for female artists who aren’t afraid of getting shit done themselves. “Having support would be great, but at this stage in the game and where we are, we really have to take ownership of our own narrative and make these moves for ourselves,” TT says.

There’s no one better equipped to help them do it than TT.

The first visual offering from Club Queen Records is TT’s “Girls Off The Chain,” featuring Uniiqu3. It’s an infectious, energetic song that sees TT mastering the musical genre that she’s so passionate about. She directed and edited the video; while Jose Rosero colourfully animated a 90’s party playground where twerking butts exist completely outside of the male gaze.

Check out the video below.

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These Are The Victims Of The Thousand Oaks Shooting

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At least 12 people were killed after a gunman opened fire late on Wednesday at the Borderline Bar and Grill in Thousand Oaks, CA. The attack is the nation's second mass shooting in less than two weeks.

Police identified the gunman as Ian David Long, a 28-year-old former Marine. Officials believe he died by suicide. It's unclear how many Long wounded in the attack, but the Ventura County Sheriff’s Office said about 22 people had been transported to hospitals in the area. According to the Daily Beast, some of the patrons were survivors of the mass shooting at a country music festival in Las Vegas that left 58 people dead in October 2017.

Ahead, what we know so far about the victims of the shooting. We'll continue to update this story as more information becomes available.

Sgt. Ron Helus

Sgt. Helus had been on the police force for 29 years and was set to retire soon. The 54-year-old was among the first officials to arrive at the scene of the shooting. After going into the bar, he exchanged gunfire with Long and was shot multiple times. Sgt. Helus died at the hospital Thursday morning.

"Ron was a hardworking, dedicated sheriff’s sergeant. He went in to save lives, to save other people," Ventura County Sheriff Geoff Dean told reporters on Thursday. "He was totally committed, he gave his all. And tonight, as I told his wife, he died a hero."

Sgt. Helus is survived by his wife and son. According to Dean, he called his wife shortly before arriving at the scene. He reportedly told her: "Hey, I gotta go handle a call. I love you. I’ll talk to you later."

Cody Coffman

Coffman was a 22-year-old umpire for a youth baseball league and planned to enlist in the Army, his father Jason Coffman told reporters. He is survived by his father, mother, and three younger brothers. A little sister was on the way.

"I talked to him last night before he headed out the door," Jason Coffman said of his last exchange with his first-born son. "First thing I said was, 'Please don’t drink and drive.' The last thing I said was, 'Son, I love you.'" He added: "This is going to be an absolute heartwrenching time for me and my family. This is a heart that I’ll never get back."

Alaina Housley

Housley was an 18-year-old student at Pepperdine University. Her death was confirmed by her aunt and uncle, actress Tamera Mowry-Housley and her husband Adam Housley.

"Our hearts are broken. We just learned that our niece Alaina was one of the victims of last night’s shooting at Borderline bar in Thousand Oaks,” Mowry-Housley said in a statement. “Alaina was an incredible young woman with so much life ahead of her and we are devastated that her life was cut short in this manner. We thank everyone for your prayers and ask for privacy at this time."

Justin Meek

Meek, 23, was a recent graduate of California Lutheran University. He was working as a bouncer at the bar when Long walked in and opened fire.

"The Cal Lutheran community is filled with sorrow over the violent events that took place last night a few miles from campus in Thousand Oaks," the school said in a statement. "Sadly, we have learned from the family that a recent graduate, Justin Meek, 23, is one of the precious lives cut short in this tragedy. Meek heroically saved lives in the incident."

This is a developing story. Check back for updates.

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The Verdict Is In: The Youth Vote Shaped The US Midterm Results

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For months leading up to the pivotal 2018 US midterm elections, the youth vote was brought up again and again: Especially after Parkland launched Generation Z's first social movement, would young people actually show up to the polls this year?

And now, we have our answer — a resounding yes. According to new exit poll analysis from the Center for Information and Research on Civic Learning and Engagement (CIRCLE), 31% of 18-to-29-year-olds voted in the midterms this year, representing a 50% increase from 2014. This is the highest youth participation in the last seven midterm elections, making turnout for voters under 30 the highest it's been since CIRCLE began doing its analysis of midterms youth voter turnout in 1994.

While a third of eligible voters may not sound like a lot, it is when you consider that turnout for midterm elections is historically lower across age groups and it's especially low for young people. In fact, only 21% of eligible 18-to-29-year-olds went to the polls during the last midterm elections in 2014, according to CIRCLE data.

"Young people approached the 2018 midterms with a resolve to change the American political landscape through peer-to-peer action, and yesterday they demonstrated their power," says Kei Kawashima-Ginsberg, CIRCLE director. "These data estimates represent a huge increase in youth participation and are a testament to the efforts that a diverse group of youth organisers built and sustained in communities and on campuses across the country. This year we also saw new stakeholders, including more universities, the private sector, and even celebrities, strengthen and deepen their approach to youth outreach and non-partisan voter engagement efforts."

Young people approached the 2018 midterms with a resolve to change the American political landscape through peer-to-peer action, and yesterday they demonstrated their power.

This age group played a decisive role in flipping the House, where Democrats now have a majority. While other factors, like the so-called "suburban revolt," definitely helped, young people heavily favoured Democrats with 67% voting for a House Democratic candidate compared to just 32% for a House Republican candidate, according to CIRCLE.

This is a historically high Democratic showing among this group: People under 30 were about evenly split until 2002, when they started veering more and more Blue with every election. "Young people asserted their political voice by making a decisive choice in House races," Kawashima-Ginsberg says.

Young people also undoubtedly helped candidates running on gun reform and affordable healthcare, like Lucy McBath in Georgia's 6th District, flip districts that had been red for decades. Democrats now control the House, Senate, and governor's seat in six additional states. Plus, seven state legislative chambers flipped from Republican- to Democrat-controlled, and Democrats took back 333 state legislature seats out of the roughly 1,000 lost during Obama's presidency.

In Georgia's controversy-filled gubernatorial race, 63% of young people preferred Stacey Abrams while 36% voted for Republican Brian Kemp. The race has been called for Kemp, but Abrams hasn't conceded as her campaign said there are still votes to be counted.

Organising Made A Difference

Countless nonprofits have popped up all over the country in an effort to get young people to the polls, and CIRCLE says they're responsible for the record turnout. "This kind of turnout is only possible with the longtime investment of many, many groups in young people," says Kawashima-Ginsberg. Active involvement in a movement like March for Our Lives made young people more likely to vote, she adds.

Sarah Audelo, the executive director of the Alliance for Youth Action, says her organisation supports countless local youth movements, especially those working with young people of colour, spending $1 million on these organisations this year alone. Some of the tools these groups use include social media, texting, town halls, campus pop-ups, and, well, clever swag. The March for Our Lives activists, as just one example, wore shirts with QR codes on them. Once you scanned the code, it took you to voter registration info on their website.

In Wisconsin, the 10-month-old group Leaders Igniting Transformation knocked on 30,000 doors and sent 50,000 texts, contributing to a 35% turnout among young people, which helped boot anti-choice, anti-union Gov. Scott Walker in favour of Democrat Tony Evers. In Texas, there was an estimated 500% increase in early voting among youth thanks to groups like MOVE Texas.

"Young people, particularly young people of colour, flexed their political muscles this election," Audelo tells Refinery29. Young people are unquestionably more engaged this year, and have already successfully helped lobby politicians to adapt nearly 50 new gun-reform laws, which represents a big rise in state legislation on the issue. The inevitable question is whether this enthusiasm will last.

Overall, the turnout suggests a good portion of young people are angry with the way things are going. Now, it's time to beat complacency, get more people involved, and keep up the pressure on newly elected officials to actually deliver change.

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Why You (Still) Won't See Any Size Diversity At This Year's VS Fashion Show

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Ahead of this year's Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, we know a few things: who's performing (Halsey, Shawn Mendes, and Rita Ora to name a few), who's walking (Behati Prinsloo, who's back after a three-year hiatus, plus 19 newcomers), that Adriana Lima is retiring after one final show, and more. In terms of more unexpected news, however, the VS Fashion Show is apparently sticking to what it knows and what sells.

In a lengthy interview with Vogue, chief marketing officer of L Brands Ed Razek and executive vice president of public relations at VS Monica Mitro explained — among a few other scooplets, like the idea behind the Kardashian clan's Angel-themed Halloween costumes — just why, after the recent progress the fashion industry has made in the category, this year's televised runway won't see plus-size or curve models.

For the most part, it seems the lingerie executives are unfazed by the influence inclusive lingerie upstarts like ThirdLove and Savage X Fenty by Rihanna have wielded in recent seasons. And they have a lot to say about "skinny-shaming" and how much the brand has given back to women as opposed to just selling clothes (and why they don't publicise their charitable efforts). But one thing is fore sure: They're fiercely proud — and protective — of their Angels. So, ahead of the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, here's what Victoria's Secret had to say.

On radical inclusivity...
Ed Razek: "In 1999, 2000, after we’d done the show for a few years, none of the designers who did shows would use any of our girls. They were too 'fat' was the prevailing wisdom of fashion at the time. At the time the conversation was 'they’re too big for us, we can’t possibly put them in our show.' Progress gets made, and part of what’s happened in our show is that the girls have just continued to get more physically fit. We don’t tell them to; they compete with one another and they work hard, they work in pairs, they work in threes. Many of them work out at the same gyms; they have complex routines. They shouldn’t have to apologise for that. Everybody keeps talking about Rihanna’s show. If we had done Rihanna’s show, we would be accused of pandering without question.

"We attempted to do a television special for plus-sizes [in 2000]. No one had any interest in it, still don’t. Our show is the only branded special in the world, seen in 190 countries, by 1 billion 6 million people; 45 percent more people saw it last year than the year before. Our direct business is growing substantially—double digits on a monthly basis. And we made some merchandising mistakes, no question. But the number one selling bra in the brand at the moment is a bra that will sell more as a single item than a small competitor that’s been trying to make a lot of noise lately [sells from its complete range]. The dominant characteristic of that bra is that it says Victoria’s Secret multiple times. Now tell me how it’s possible that that bra would be the number one most popular bra in the marketplace if people didn’t like the brand? Particularly if young people didn’t like the brand?"

On why they don't have plans to expand their aesthetic anytime soon...
ER: "I don’t think we can be all things to all customers. It is a specialty business; it isn’t a department store. I’m always asking myself: If we do that, what is the reason we did it? Why did we include that person? And did we include them to shut up a reporter? Did we include them because it was the right thing to do or because it was the politically correct thing to do? Do they take the place of somebody who worked for a year for the opportunity and cried when they found that they got it? Yeah, we made some fashion mistakes. We were late to the party on bralettes; we were late to the party on downtown influences in our looks."

On why transgender models won't appear in the show...
ER: "Shouldn’t you have transsexuals in the show? No. No, I don’t think we should. Well, why not? Because the show is a fantasy. It’s a 42-minute entertainment special. That’s what it is. It is the only one of its kind in the world, and any other fashion brand in the world would take it in a minute, including the competitors that are carping at us. And they carp at us because we’re the leader. They don’t talk about each other. I accept that. I actually respect it. Cool. But we’re nobody’s third love. [Editor’s note: ThirdLove is a competitor that has received investment from a former CEO of Victoria’s Secret stores.] We’re their first love. And Victoria’s Secret has been women’s first love from the beginning."

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An Orange Is The New Black Sequel Is In The Works

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With the end of Orange Is the New Black looming, the powers that be at Lionsgate TV are already saying "thank u, next."

According to The Hollywood Reporter, a sequel to Orange Is the New Black is not only possible, it's inching towards reality. Initial conversations about it have already been had, even though the seventh and final season of the series is not due to drop on Netflix until 2019.

Per THR, Lionsgate TV Group chairman Kevin Beggs shared the status of one of Netflix's first original series on an earnings call with reporters.

"We're really proud of the long run that Orange Is the New Black had," said Beggs. "It remains one of Netflix's most-watched shows. We're ending on a high note. Keep in mind we own that series and will be distributing it for years to come. We're already in discussions and, when the timing is right, we'll talk further with [ OITNB creator Jenji Kohan] about a potential sequel."

Right now, it's unclear what a "potential sequel" could mean for Lionsgate TV. It might not necessarily mean another Netflix series, and could be some other form of continuing the stories of the women of Litchfield.

In an age of sequels, reboots, and remakes, it seems fitting that Orange Is the New Black is already in talks to live on somewhere, at some point.

Kohan is bidding the series goodbye with lots of love.

"After seven seasons, it’s time to be released from prison. I will miss all the badass ladies of Litchfield and the incredible crew we’ve worked with," Kohan said in a statement of the end of the series. "My heart is orange but… fade to black."

Sure, fade to black for now, but there very well could be an orange sun on the horizon. Stay tuned.

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Carey Mulligan: God Forbid A Woman On Screen Dares To Be Selfish

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Here’s my theory about Carey Mulligan. Yes, she’s a renowned actor with an Oscar nomination under her belt and a BAFTA on her mantelpiece, but she’s not a celebrity.

Okay, so she’s mega famous but hear me out. She doesn’t have social media, she’s very rarely caught out and about by paparazzi, you won’t ever see her at Nobu with her very famous husband (Marcus Mumford of Mumford & Sons) – she doesn’t even get recognised on the street. The latter may be because in her movies, Mulligan doesn’t always look like her mind-bogglingly beautiful, buttery blonde self (see: Suffragette, Inside Llewyn Davis, Mudbound or her latest, Wildlife). In fact, it’s rare we hear a peep out of her unless she’s talking about her work. Which is why she is sitting opposite me in a London office, dressed in a simple black T-shirt and jeans, ready to speed-talk about fame, feminism and fancy dresses.

Wildlife is released in the UK today. The movie, which will give you Revolutionary Road tingles, 100% belongs to Mulligan. Her character Jeanette is a housewife, mother to son Joe (Ed Oxenbould) and one half of an unhappy marriage alongside her husband Jerry (Jake Gyllenhaal). Jeanette is something of a maverick in 1960s Montana – a woman whose self-determination and self-involvement don’t fit with the expectations of an American mommy in a nuclear family.

It’s something Mulligan thought about a lot as she was making the movie. "I think with the perfect wife image that everyone had to maintain, the perfect household, there was no room for the kind of modern/messy thing that we are allowed to show now, that we are imperfect humans as mothers and wives today. To show that we have baby sick on our shoulders and everyone's just cracking on, trying to get on with it… Back then you couldn’t show your feathers were ruffled, you had to show perfect composure all the time and unfailing support for everything your husband did. You weren't able to have an opinion and the crazy amount of pressure she has on her... You see that in the film."

Photo: Courtesy Of Icon Distribution

Her character is refreshing, I offer. She’s a woman who is trying her best but fucking up. At times she's lost and desperately unhappy but trying to hold it together. When she cracks, she makes shitty decisions, including sleeping with some gross guy who doesn’t deserve her. Everything falls apart but she pulls it together and she survives. That pretty much describes every woman I know at some point in their lives, yet critics (in the US in particular) seemed flabbergasted by the portrayal of a woman like Jeanette. In press conferences, junkets and interviews, Mulligan found herself having to defend her character over and over again. Some people seem to think all women on screen should be relatable or likeable. Mulligan thinks not.

She explains: "I never go into a film thinking, 'What will people think?' I generally go in and make it because I feel passionately about the subject or character. I’ve been surprised by the amount of – I don't want to say backlash – the amount of people, generally men, who have asked me to defend her. I don’t think that she needs to be defended. I spent the last couple of weeks doing Q&As where people would say, 'What did you think of her when you first read it?' as in basically, 'I don't like her, what do you think of her?' I had to say, 'Well, I like her, I think she’s a real person and I like playing real people. You don’t need to like her, she’s just who she is and she makes mistakes but find me someone who doesn’t'."

If we see a mum doing anything negative on screen, they’re generally really fucking messed up crack addicts.

She’s on a roll now. "It’s been interesting and I think it’s largely because we’re not used to seeing mums, particularly, making mistakes. If we see a mum doing anything negative on screen, they’re generally really fucking messed up crack addicts, ruining their lives kind of thing, or there’s the other end of the spectrum where it’s perfection – a woman who endures everything and is earnest and dutiful, with the strength of an ox. You don’t see any of the stuff in between."

This, Mulligan knows as a mother of two young kids, is not what motherhood is like, for her at least. "It’s really hard because your entire life is taken up by looking after a human being and it’s exhausting and occasionally everyone cracks and has bad moments and bad weeks."

Playing Jeanette has been a learning curve, especially since Mulligan's co-star and long-term pal, the sleepy-eyed Jake Gyllenhaal, has had to field no such questions about his character – whose behaviour in the movie is far, far worse than Jeanette’s. "If you compare it to the standard at which men are held, it’s kind of amazing the amount we allow men on screen to be all sorts of terrible and it’s endearing and charming and that’s all cool, but if a woman has an affair and – god forbid – is momentarily selfish, it’s almost criminal," she says. "In the interviews I’ve been doing, it hasn’t been like, 'Gosh, he abandons her'. The focus has all been about Jeanette and the infidelity."

Photo: Courtesy Of Icon Distribution

While we’re on the subject of men getting away with reprehensible behaviour, it would be remiss of me not to ask about #MeToo. Mulligan says that since the Weinstein pyre was set alight she has seen concrete change in her industry. She cites the example of London's Royal Court Theatre, which now, for the first time, has a code of conduct, "essentially a 3/4 page document about what is expected and what is unacceptable and you read it and sign it. And I’ve never in my career worked anywhere that’s had anything like that. So every time you do a play there, the first day of rehearsal, that’s what you’ll do. And I feel like those kind of changes are being taken on in other parts of the industry. In fact, someone was just talking about the sex scene choreographer that is now working on HBO shows to come in and make sure everyone feels safe doing sex scenes. These have to be things that we carry forward."

I know countless people who have felt exposed and uncomfortable, violated.

I was under the assumption that with lights, cameras and spectators, filming a sex scene would be the last place anything bad could occur. Am I wrong? "I think there have been people who are abusing their power and also people who have just not understood the boundaries. There’s all sorts of different kinds of actors, people who show up, say lines and go home, and people who live and breathe it, and I think sometimes people have stepped over boundaries – even unknowingly, but it’s still unacceptable. You have a choreographer for a dance and for a fight scene, and for all these other things. You have someone come in and say, 'Okay, this is how we’re going to do this, this hand is going to go here'. And actually in my experience, I’ve been lucky that the directors I’ve worked with have been that specific, so it hasn’t been a problem for me, but I know countless people who have felt exposed and uncomfortable, violated."

How, then, does she feel about sex scenes? "I feel like I have to go into robot mode to get through it, because it’s just so weird. I’ve had little experience of doing it but in the time I have done it, I’ve had great relationships with all the actors I’ve had to do it with, the director, and I’ve always felt comfortable. If I’ve ever felt like I don't think that’s necessary, I’ve been clear to say, 'I don’t think we should do that, you don’t need to see her bra off'. But I’ve been lucky."

At this point, the door opens and we get a five-minute warning to wrap up so I go into rapid fire question mode. First, I want to know how Mulligan got to know Wildlife director Paul Dano and his equally talented partner, Zoe Kazan (they wrote the screenplay for the movie together). Basically, I ask her to name drop a little.

She obliges. "Zoe and I did The Seagull together 10 years ago in New York. I was Masha and she was Nina. We shared a dressing room about a third of the size of this room," she says, gesturing to the walls around us. "And we fell in love, and she was with Paul and so we all became friends and then Jake and I met a year after. So we, as a group, we have all been mates for a long time."

Good! Now tell me about the fun, glossy, glamorous bits of the job – the amazing hair and makeup, the goddamn dresses. She’s into it, she says, sometimes. "I like being a part of someone’s vision. If it’s interesting... I did a shoot for Australian Vogue where my son was five weeks old and we were in New York up on a rooftop. Five weeks after having a baby and I was like, this is awesome. I wasn’t wearing tight dresses and I knew I had incredible hair and makeup and I was wearing sunglasses and it was complete escapism. It was surreal and [I thought], 'How lucky am I to be doing this as part of my job?' Although, there are those times where I’m just like, ugh I want to go home this is miserable. But sometimes you have to accept how fun and hilarious it actually is."

Next question! How does she avoid being tabloid fodder, and if she and her gazillion record-selling husband can do it, couldn't every other celeb who wanted to do it too? "I think so," she says, honestly. "I’ve always wanted to do just acting and not any of the other stuff that comes with it. There is a byproduct of that, which is a relative amount of fame or celebrity, but it is all optional unless you are targeted, which some people are or have been in the past. Like Keira [Knightley] was targeted, Sienna [Miller] was for a while. There are people who have not chosen any of this stuff and that comes from absolutely extreme fame, like Pirates of the Caribbean fame. But I’ve always been so lucky, I’ve never been massively interested in that side of things. I get really uncomfortable in places where there are millions of famous people. So I’m not looking to go to the restaurant where all the famous people are because I would feel a bit of a tit. And I’ve always thought that I never wanted people to know too much about me because I think it makes my job easier. And it just makes me nervous when people know too much. I also don’t want my family to have to think about that, or my kids. It got to the point where I had to fend off questions about my marriage and now I feel like people don't really ask that much."

Does she really not get recognised when she’s out and about? It’s true, she asserts. "People actually don't come up to me. If I’m not wearing hair and makeup, people don't really recognise me. So I don't really have to deal with that. Occasionally, someone will double take or whatever but most of the time I can walk around relatively… My husband gets a bit more, you know, and I end up taking the [fans'] photos for him."

It all sounds very unstarry, so I flip the question... Has she ever been starstruck? "Judi Dench. That blew my mind. She was on my first ever film and on day one of rehearsal she introduced herself to me and I haven’t gotten over that. But I don't think anyone outside of that has… Oh, Daniel Day-Lewis."

We have so little time left, definitely not enough for me to go full-on fan girl and tell her that her Far From The Madding Crowd might be the best adaptation of a Thomas Hardy book – or any book, ever. But I still want to know about her brilliant (some would say out of character) turn in the BBC cop drama Collateral. She was offered the part by David Hare but was worried he wouldn’t want her when he found out she was pregnant. "When David offered it to me, I told him. And he said, 'I don’t know why she couldn’t be pregnant, I think it’s great'. Then he said, 'We’re going to do two things. We’re not going to talk about the pregnancy and you’re not going to cry'. And I was like, 'Fuck yeah, let’s do it'."

There is another knock at the door. The interview is up, and after a short period of time with Mulligan I’ve developed another theory about her. She is not in any way as sombre and serious as the characters she chooses to play or as some interviewers have made out. She’s a lively, clever and considered conversationalist; engaged, interesting and interested. She is also totally no-bullshit and a very good sport when it comes to having questions spat at her like a tennis ball machine.

Anyone who’s seen Shame or Inside Llewyn Davis will know that Mulligan can sing, too. So with 10 seconds left, I want to know what her go-to karaoke song is. She doesn’t miss a beat, answering "If I Could Turn Back Time" by Cher. Case in point.

Wildlife is in UK cinemas from Friday 9th November

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In 2018, Why Are We Still Obsessed With Looking Young?

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This week on Refinery29, we’re filling your screens and consciousness with inspiring women over 50. Why? Because living in a culture obsessed with youth is exhausting for everyone. Ageing is a privilege, not something to dread. Welcome to Life Begins At...

While sat in a café recently I overheard two young women discussing another woman they both knew. Their conversation started off pretty innocuously but as their attentions turned to her sartorial and nightclub choices, the analysis became saltier. It wasn’t so much the items of clothing or club nights themselves that were the problem, it was that she was "pushing 40" and "still trying to get away with it".

"Trying to get away with it." That last stinging sentence stuck with me. The young women in the next booth had very specific ideas about what a woman who is pushing 40 should and shouldn’t be doing with her time, energy and money. These relatively progressive and reasonable young women were verbally punishing someone older than them for wearing and doing things they deemed age-inappropriate.

The thing is, I instantly knew what they meant because I’ve judged older women for doing things I have deemed to be age-inappropriate. We no longer feel the need to slut shame each other or gossip about another woman’s sexual past as a way to keep some kind of moral order, so why do we feel the need to do this about a woman’s age? Where does this policing of older women come from?

You don’t have to look very far to find answers. The skincare regimes we all buy into promise younger, dewier, plumper, more youthful skin. One brand claims their new powder will give you an "ethereal veil of youth". The buzziest beauty products all promise to deliver a younger-looking you. Anti-ageing, anti-wrinkle serums, creams and elixirs flood the market and our consciousness.

Women over 50 rarely feature in mainstream media and if they do their faces are suspiciously line-free. If a woman does dare to bare her untouched face, she receives a vitriolic backlash. Look at the treatment of Sarah Jessica Parker after she took her 53-year-old face to the Met Gala this year. She was ridiculed and vilified for having the audacity to have a) worn blue eyeshadow and b) aged beyond people’s frozen-in-time memory of her as thirtysomething Carrie.

Doctors are recording cases of young women requesting Botox to make them look more like the filtered versions of themselves.

The narratives women are repeatedly told about getting older are full of fear, loss and irrelevance and as a result we routinely internalise that the one thing a woman should not do is age. We are so conditioned to be obsessed with youth and the promise of the new that we look at older women and demonise anyone we see as failing at the age game.

Following a summer of line-free, youthfully plump faces on Love Island, Superdrug now offers Botox and fillers in some of their UK stores. The number of women aged between 19 and 34 in America having Botox and fillers has risen by 41% since 2011. Research suggests that as many as 100,000 Botox injections are carried out each year in the UK. This increase in non-surgical procedures coincides with our growing selfie obsession and use of social media filters. Doctors are recording cases of young women requesting Botox to make them look more like the filtered versions of themselves. In our obsession with stalling the ageing process we have stopped questioning where this pressure to stay youthful comes from and have instead opted to inject our faces with chemicals and toxins in a bid to resemble a version of ourselves that we know is fake.

By rejecting or disrespecting older women, we’re rejecting and disrespecting our future selves.

I haven’t had Botox or fillers but I’ve thought about it and I’ve looked at women five to 10 years older than me and thought, They look rough. Thank god I’m not there yet. 'Yet' being the operative word – we will all get there. There’s no surgery or procedure that can halt the ageing process completely. The more we try to escape the inevitable, the more obvious it becomes and by rejecting or disrespecting older women, we’re rejecting and disrespecting our future selves.

As I hurtle through my 30s, my face is showing the signs of a life well lived. The lines around my mouth are deeper from all the laughing, talking and cigarettes smoked. The lines around my eyes are noticeable all the time now – not just when I laugh. I notice new signs of ageing every week and for a while I’ve obsessed about my ageing face but I’ve come to the point where I can’t justify wasting any more energy worrying about it. I could get small amounts of Botox and fillers injected into my face every few months and have a smooth complexion but it would cost me about £3,000 per year (money I don’t have) and I know I’d be doing it to meet someone else’s expectations, someone else’s definition of beauty. I’d be fighting a losing battle and I think ultimately, I would feel like a loser too.

In the summer I was struck by a French Elle cover which featured a beautiful portrait of 42-year-old French TV presenter, Alessandra Sublet. It caught my eye because Alessandra’s radiant face looked out from the magazine rack apparently un-retouched. The laughter lines around her eyes were visible, the lines around her mouth prominently framed her smile. She looked incredible. Never do you see a woman on the cover of an international title looking her age; she's always photoshopped into a smoother and more "presentable" version of herself.

In each issue of Riposte (the magazine I edit) we feature women from a wide age range and make sure we interview women over 50. Photographing our older interviewees is always such a joy. We never edit out their lines or try and make them look younger than they are. You can take a beautiful photograph of an older woman without patronising her or styling her to look ridiculous. It’s important for us to represent women of all ages so that those women feel seen and heard but also to offer role models for younger women; to show that life for a woman doesn’t stop at 50 – if anything, it gets better.

What if we revered the ageing process as much as we celebrate a smooth face? What if an older woman's face with all its natural wrinkles and softness were as championed as a woman who 'looks good for her age'?

I recently interviewed Tina Brown, the former editor of Vanity Fair, The New Yorker, founder of The Daily Beast and the Women in the World summit and platform. She’s 64, busier than ever, inspiring as ever and exploring the bigger questions in life. Why don’t we see more women like her in our everyday media consumption? The problem with only ever championing or celebrating the next bright young thing is that we’re short-circuiting our culture and our understanding of the world by cutting out the views and experiences of older women. They can teach us vital lessons and provide a road map for navigating life, if only we would let them.

Feminism is about choice and I will always champion that. If you choose to get fillers and Botox or have surgery, you’re entirely free to make that choice for yourself without judgement from anyone else, but what if we revered the ageing process as much as we celebrate a smooth face? What if an older woman's face with all its natural wrinkles and softness were as championed as a woman who "looks good for her age"? Maybe if we challenge our conditioned thinking when it comes to ageing we won’t feel the need to choose such invasive procedures. Maybe then we’d look in the mirror and feel bloody great about ourselves – now and in the future.

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Shop The Entire Alexander Wang x Uniqlo Collection

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Update: Say hello to everything you'll need to get you through the winter. Alexander Wang's heattech collection for Uniqlo is available starting today.

This article was originally published on October 11, 2018.

Fresh off of its insanely popular collaboration with J.W. Anderson, Uniqlo is keeping up the momentum with its latest designer partnership. On Wednesday, Alexander Wang revealed his new intimates collection with Uniqlo, telling Vogue he's always bought "socks, underwear, those everyday essential items," from the retailer. "It’s not fussy, it’s pure, there’s quality to it," he says of Uniqlo's offering.

Come November 9, Wang will be adding his own not-fussy, quality pieces to Uniqlo's range. It all started as a way to marry Uniqlo’s special Heattech fabric with underwear. "Heattech is a program created out of innovation, function, and utility," the designer said. "It’s something that I’ve always been very inspired by, by the advancement and innovation in fabrication. I wanted to think about it in a way where even if it wasn’t just worn on the inside — if you wore it as a top as something to lounge around in — you feel like there’s a style, an aesthetic that could stand on its own."

The collection is a full circle moment for the designer, who actually used to work at Uniqlo before launching his namesake brand. He stayed in touch with Uniqlo’s CEO and president Tadashi Yanai, who told Wang the two could connect when he had an idea. And now, that idea has come to fruition.

Wang's collection of bodysuits, tees, leggings, bras, and briefs for men and women is made with Uniqlo’s Heattech fabric and is priced between £13 and £35. The products will come in neutral colours, as well as a surprise shade, neon green — which is Wang's favourite colour. "The thing that I love about these pieces is that they can really be worn on so many different occasions," he said. "Wear the bra top with a high-waisted jean and a denim jacket,” he suggests. "Or maybe just the bra on its own?"

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