Could the summer heatwave stretch deep into August? If it does, you might want to park yourself in the coolest spot possible and take it super easy with Netflix.

This month, the streaming giant is adding some fantastic movies including Bridget Jones's Baby – the latest in the iconic series – and Pride & Prejudice starring an Oscar-nominated Keira Knightley.

Other film highlights include Monster-in-Law, a silly but entertaining comedy starring Jane Fonda and Jennifer Lopez, and Bad Moms, an ensemble piece about stressed parents treating themselves to a long-overdue party. Mila Kunis and Jada Pinkett Smith lead the cast in that one.

Oh, and if you fancy trying a new original series, British sci-fi drama The Innocents is building buzz, and black comedy Insatiable is already hella controversial.

Click through to see the key new titles – and their release dates – on Netflix this August.

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There's a scene in the Miseducation of Cameron Post that I've thought a lot about since I first saw it at a press screening back in February. Cameron (Chloë Grace Moretz) is on kitchen duty at God's Promise, the gay conversation therapy camp she's been sent to after being caught fooling around with her best friend (Quinn Shepard) on prom night. She and the other "disciples" are listening to the prescribed Christian rock when suddenly...static. They turn the station, only to land on the early chords of "What's Up," by 4 Non Blondes, which leads right into a rousing group-wide sing-along headlined by Cameron, who belts out the chorus from atop the counter.

The scene does two things. First, it roots the action firmly in 1993 — four years before Ellen DeGeneres declared "Yep, I'm gay" on the cover of Time, and five years before Will & Grace premiered on NBC. But more significantly, it provides both the characters and the audience with a moment of pure, unadulterated joy in the darkest of contexts. It turns Cameron into more than a token gay character in a movie about LGBTQ+ trauma, and into a living, breathing person who loves early '90s alt-rock, Adidas track pants, and yes, also women.

Co-written and directed by Desiree Akhavan ( Appropriate Behavior), and adapted from the 2012 novel by Emily M. Danforth, the film's strength lies in the way it seeks to humanise all of its characters, from Cameron and her "disciple" friends Jane (Sasha Lane) and Adam Red Eagle (Forrest Goodluck) to their oppressors, God's Promise founder Lydia (Jennifer Ehle) and her brother, Reverend Rick (John Gallagher Jr.).

The decision to send Cameron to God's Promise is made by her devout aunt Ruth, who's been caring for her niece since the death of her parents. And like any teenage girl, the first thing Cameron does is figure out where she fits in — turns out gay conversion camp isn't immune to cliques. There are two types of people seeking treatment at God's Promise. The first, like Jane (last name Fonda) and Adam (who goes by his Native American name, Red Eagle, when out of earshot of God's Promise leaders) are people who have been sent there by well-meaning relatives, who fear what they have been told is wrong. They nod their heads and go along with the program, mostly as a way to be left alone to smoke weed in the woods behind the camp. The others, like Cameron's roommate Erin (Emily Skeggs) are truly sincere in their desire to rid themselves of what they feel are "unnatural" urges. They attack this quest with zeal, ratting out anyone who flouts the rules "for their own good."

Cameron, for her part, falls somewhere in between. It's not that she really believes she did anything wrong — but then why is everyone around her so sure she has? What if all she has to do is commit to the process? Would it be so bad to not feel this way anymore?

That early inner struggle resolves itself rather quickly once it becomes apparent that neither Reverend Rick nor Lydia have any idea what they're doing. The former, who "used to be" gay. uses positive and magical thinking, uplifting guitar strums and a healthy dose of Scripture to teach show his disciples the way. The latter, who supposedly "cured" him, handles the so-called therapy, a nonsense ritual of shaming in the name of God.

Of course, no amount of "blessercize" — a real program from the 1980s spearheaded by Marie Chapian, and the only approved workout for girls at God's Promise because traditional sports reportedly encourage their masculine energies — can pray the gay away. Cameron finds solace of sorts when she falls in with Jane and Adam. Others aren't so lucky.

The film's 90-minute run-time isn't filled with action. There's one moment of high drama, but overall, the tension relies on strong performances by the actors. Moretz, who's in almost every scene, carries the bulk of this emotional weight. She makes us ache at the magnitude of this burden, at times incensed by the injustice of it all, other times fragile, sad, or mired in self-doubt. As Reverend Rick, Gallagher is another standout. He's not a bad man; if anything, he's a victim as much as any of the teenagers he's responsible for, doomed to perform heterosexuality under a thin veneer of forced happiness. It's heartbreaking.

I wish Lane, whose performance in 2016's American Honey is seared into my brain, had been given as much to work with. Jane's most defining characteristics are that she has one leg and grew up in a commune. She clearly doesn't buy into the God's Promise hype, but we don't get much insight into her mindset. Still, Akhavan does give her some peppery dialogue that provides a dose of reality in this woo-woo Evangelical universe.

It's not irrelevant that the last major movie to tackle female gay conversion was 1999's But I'm A Cheerleader, starring Natasha Lyonne. Unlike Cameron Post, that movie was set in its own time, without the trappings of a period piece. (Embrace it, the 90s are period now.) Though not autobiographical, Danforth set the novel's action in her hometown of Miles City, Montana, during the time of her own youth. I understand Akhavan's desire to stay true to the author's vision, and the pull of being able to play songs with an instant nostalgic pull. (Just try not to expressively mouth "WHAT'S GOING ON" during the 4 Non Blondes sequence. I dare you.)

But part of me also kept wondering if the film could have added something new to this story by setting it in present day, at a time when gay marriage is legal, but still contentious —  and in some cases actively opposed — in many parts of the country. Gay conversion isn't something that died with frosted tips and flat-form Steve Madden sandals — it's a practice that allegedly counts current Vice President Mike Pence among its supporters. Akhavan's film is important and addresses an issue that's obviously still relevant. But then why fight it out 25 years in the past?

Overall though , The Miseducation of Cameron Post packs an emotional punch that's hard to shake. Like a good '90s single, it's the kind of thing that lurks in the back of your brain, ready to resurface with new meaning when you least expect it.

The Miseducation Of Cameron Post is released in UK cinemas on 7th September

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#SaggyBoobsMatter! This is the rallying cry of Chidera Eggerue, a.k.a. The Slumflower, agony aunt, activist and author of paean to millennial solitude, What A Time To Be Alone. Chidera is, in many ways, the perfect interview subject for Polyester – the feminist fashion and culture zine launched by Ione Gamble in 2014, which is just about to publish its eighth issue.

Unashamedly proud of the endless diversity of femme and non-binary bodies, the zine embraces fat bodies, queer bodies, the beauty of stretch marks, body hair and all the other things usually hidden from fashion imagery. The zine’s aesthetic perspective is neatly summed up by its slogan, "Have Faith In Your Own Bad Taste" (which they've printed on long-sleeve T-shirts in dripping red text).

Chidera is just one of the wise and beautiful humans who pack the pages of Polyester Issue 8. Two separate covers celebrate Chicago dirty-rap star CupcakKe, and illustrator of demonic femininity Polly Nor, with full features inside. There are interviews with NY drag dance band Sateen, artist Penelope Gazin, and the team behind Instagram account Tabloid Art History. Alongside two radical and thought-provoking editorial shoots representing – and glamorising – the beauty of our saggy boobs and double chins.

I want people to love themselves in every shape and form. You need to love yourself. It’s who you are!

Ahead of Polyester 8’s launch party this Thursday, Refinery29 sat down with editor-in-chief Ione Gamble to get the inside story on how this issue came into the world...

Hi Ione! This issue isn’t themed, but your editor’s letter explains that 'autonomy' is a recurring topic. How did that become apparent?

At the beginning of production, I was feeling quite down on myself and everything in general. It felt impossible to create anything without lots of money or the backing from big brands and therefore the compromise on your morals. I was really bored and also exhausted at seeing feminism regurgitated back to people in its most simplistic, digestible form, and just feeling fed up really! But instead of cowering to all of those feelings I decided to slowly start reaching out to people who I wanted to feature in this issue, and it became more and more apparent they all had something in common. They were not only completely in control of their careers, but finding viable alternative methods of progression and defining success on their own terms.

CupcakKe and Sateen are both independent, in terms of their management and musical careers; The Slumflower is quite literally becoming the woman she longed to see in the world, growing up; and Polly Nor has essentially pioneered a new wave of illustration while tackling societal taboos at the same time. Everyone featured, as well as all those who contributed, made me understand that it is possible to work outside of the traditional systems that so often keep us at arm's length.

This issue has a lot of nudity in it. Was there a particular reason or intention to do that?

A lot of it was intentional in terms of the concept for the editorials. Polyester deals with ideas around body image often so it's a natural choice. But in all honesty (and as ridiculous as it sounds), it's difficult to shoot women in clothes if your models aren't sample size, and we're not going to bend our editorial agenda to suit designers that won't cater for the majority of body types. I think it works well — especially when there is often so much shame around our bodies, it's nice to try and put out some positive representation into the world. I never really realise how much nudity appears in the zine until I'm doing a run-through of the final copy, and it's always more than expected!

When you’re comfortable with yourself, it makes sense to want to try and help other people too.

In two separate editorials, you celebrate saggy boobs and double chins – why did you want to focus on those characteristics?

The saggy boobs editorial idea came from my friend Daniela Geraci, who just graduated from the fashion design MA at Central Saint Martins. Her final collection grappled with her own relationship with her boobs — how growing up she hated their unevenness, but how she's turned that into a source of power for her femininity, as well as other themes feeding into mental health and female hysteria. I loved the collection and wanted to shoot it, so put a call out on our Instagram for people with 'imperfect' chests who would want to be shot for the series. We had so many responses, it became really clear that it's such a source of insecurity for people — which demonstrates why images like these are so necessary in the first place.

Similarly with 'Double Trouble' (the shoot that focuses in on double chins), I wanted to not just normalise but also glamorise a facial feature that's otherwise invisible in media and visual culture in general. Even though there is increasing visibility for fat people in terms of campaign imagery and editorial, those who are getting the jobs are still very conventionally thin-faced. There's practically zero representation for those with double chins and I wanted to change that! I know so many people who use angles to hide their double chin, which is completely understandable when they're so demonised within our society, but I wanted to create something that hopefully begins to steer us away from that.

I want to display our feelings of vulnerability or anxiety; the things we all feel, but don’t talk about on Instagram.

Do you have any hopes for how readers respond to them?
Polyester is unashamedly celebratory, so I hope that it makes readers feel proud of how they look and their bodies. I also hope it forces people to reevaluate the imagery they are consuming or creating — why aren't these type of people featured in every publication? Why are we still excluding so many people from visual culture? If we can do it with minimum budget and as a nonprofit publication, then there's really no excuse for the bigger publications not to.

What's the greatest piece of wisdom that came from making this issue?

Just to trust yourself – whether that's in terms of your career, your body, or anything really. All the women featured in this issue have such a strong sense of self, especially when it comes to their creative practice. Meeting them, shooting them, and interviewing them definitely really kept me on track and inspired me to keep going.

Tell us about the Issue 8 launch party.

I'm so excited for the launch party! We celebrate the release of every issue with a launch as it's such a good opportunity for our readers and contributors to all come together. This time around, we're hosting it at the Resistance Gallery, which is actually usually a female wrestling performance space (our friends, the band Dream Wife shot one of their videos there earlier this year). We have some amazing DJs lined up, and it’s the first chance to get a copy of the issue IRL. Everyone is welcome and all the details are on the event page.

Polyester Issue 8 is also available to pre-order on the Polyester website.

Pull quotes taken from Polyester Issue 8.

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In the wake of the #MeToo movement people are, at long last, more inclined to listen to allegations of sexual harassment and take them seriously. Powerful sexual predators like Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey have suffered irreparable career damage and while this is nothing compared to what their victims endured, it does indicate that the culture is finally tuning in to women's stories.

This extends beyond the realm of Hollywood celebrities too, as the story of young British woman Emily White – who just called out a bouncer for sexual harassment – shows. The 19-year-old, from St Austell in Cornwall, was on a night out in Newquay in July when a pub bouncer allegedly wolf-whistled and stared at her before commenting on her breasts.

When she threatened to report the incident, he told her his bosses "won't do anything love," reported the BBC. But the pub in question, the Sailors Arms, has revealed that it took "immediate action" upon receiving White's complaint. "An immediate investigation was launched in collaboration with the agency which employs our door staff," a pub spokesperson said. "Until it is complete, the individual in question will not be employed at our door."

White explained what happened in a tweet on 24th July that has received more than 93k likes and over 8k retweets at the time of writing.

Was sexually harassed by a bouncer in a night club this weekend. So I snapped a photo of his ID, emailed the club, who have emailed his agency, who have begun an official displinary investigation. He told me, “I’m a bouncer I can do what I want”. No mate, no you can’t.

— em (@itsemilywhite) July 24, 2018

"[I] was sexually harassed by a bouncer in a night club this weekend. So I snapped a photo of his ID, emailed the club, who have emailed his agency, who have begun an official disciplinary investigation. He told me, 'I'm a bouncer, I can do what I want'. No mate, you can't."

The bouncer willingly moved his arm out of the way to enable her to photograph his ID. "That's how cocky he was," White told the BBC. "He thought no-one would challenge him on it. He was wrong."

She emphasised the importance of calling out all sexual harassment, regardless of how "serious" it might seem. "It's not the worst thing that's happened to a girl. It's not even the worst thing that's happened to me," she said, adding that she "was able to report it and so [she] did". "If the same thing has happened to anyone else, I would urge them to do the same."

White has received dozens of messages of support and praise for sticking up for herself. When one user asked her if she was "alright," she replied: "Yeah all good babe, just wanted to stick it to him x."

You. Are. An . Icon. - this is what women and others who have been sexually assaulted should have the confidence to do- thank you for sharing this xxxxx

— ♡𝔧𝔲𝔪𝔭𝔰𝔲𝔦𝔱♡ (@PhilippaRoseX) July 25, 2018

Also, I hope your example shows other girls that this happens to that it's ok to stick up for yourself against the door staff (or anyone else, for that matter) that make you feel uncomfortable.
Good on you! 😎

— John Sharkey (@john_sharkey_) August 1, 2018

Good on you for taking that power back! He can’t take that from you.
Sending good vibes your way and hoping for the best outcome, don’t let it break you when they try to!
You’ve stopped him from doing it again.. Thank you 🙏🏽 #Feminism #womenunite

— Kimberley Cooper (@KimberleyErica) July 25, 2018

Good girl! We did this when it happened to my friend as well! Absolute abuse of power but underestimate girl power✌🏻

— Rachael 🖤 (@totsandtantrums) July 25, 2018

Well done you. Seriously. Well done. Too many don’t take it further ‘cos nothing will happen’ so take a bow.

I hope that his agency retrains all staff to help them understand that his actions & views are inappropriate & illegal

— Stuart Baggs (@Baggsie13) July 25, 2018

If you have experienced sexual violence of any kind, please visit Rape Crisis or call 0808 802 9999.

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For their latest trick, the Kardashian-Jenner family is back with another instalment of their Calvin Klein Underwear & Calvin Klein Jeans campaign. Shot by Willy Vanderperre, the top tier fashion photographer who lensed creative director Raf Simons' debut campaign for the American label, the second edition of the brand's "siblings" motif sees the family, including a pregnant Khloé Kardashian, striking their most chill poses in Thousand Oaks, California. Spoiler alert: Unfortunately, matriarch Kris Jenner was nowhere to be found.

If you've been keeping up with these things (sorry, we had to), the latest Calvin Klein campaign stint continues the #MYCALVINS messaging of togetherness, which makes sense considering the family is seldom seen apart. To spread the underwear gospel, Calvin Klein and Kar-Jenner fans alike are encouraged to get inspired by the imagery and demonstrate what family means to them, using 'Join Our Family#MYCALVINS' on social media, as well as uploading images to a live gallery on the Calvin Klein website. Though not much convincing will be needed, seeing as the #MYCALVINS movement has sparked more parodies and controversies than any other fashion campaign top of mind — namely the Justin Bieber era.

In addition to the black and white shots, videographer Shane Sigler captured the family playing a good old game of telephone, in which model sister Kendall Jenner makes up a sentence so random, you'll have to play it back twice. We can't recall the last time we sat in the grass and played childhood games with our siblings in our underwear, but like any Kardashian-affiliated project, the campaign will surely draw its fair share of defectors and callouts from the photoshop police. But with a brand like Calvin Klein that pretty much sells itself (and whose DNA includes as much shock value as it does wearability), who even cares? Those matching sets are fire.

Click through the slideshow ahead to see our favourite shots from the campaign, and cop the latest Calvin Klein Underwear collection for yourself in stores and online now.

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How much time did you spend on Instagram today? 25 minutes? An hour? More?

After teasing the release of new tools for measuring time spent earlier this year, Instagram, as well as Facebook, are officially rolling them out to users. Beginning today, you'll be able to see exactly how long you scrolled through your feed and tapped through Stories on a weekly basis.

On Instagram, head to your Profile, select Settings, and tap Your Activity. Here, you'll see a bar graph breaking down the average amount of time you spent on the app that week. Tap on an individual bar to see the breakdown by day.

Further down, you'll see two options for managing your time: Set A Daily Reminder and Notification Settings. Daily Reminders simply ask you to choose how much time you'd like to spend on Instagram each day. When your time is up, you'll get a notification telling you as much, which you can choose to ignore or use as a cue to log off. Notification Settings lets you mute notifications for a length of time up to eight hours. You can also specify which notifications you want to receive — for example, only likes from people you follow — and which you don't want cluttering your lock screen.

This process is mirrored on Facebook: Simply go to the menu and scroll down to Your Time On Facebook, where you'll see the same options.

A couple of buzzwords lie at the heart of these tools: "intentional" and "meaningful." These terms were used when Facebook announced changes to its News Feed algorithm earlier this year, which prioritised posts from family and friends over public content (i.e. celebrities, brands, and publishers). They are also the terms at the centre of the digital wellbeing movement currently sweeping all of Silicon Valley: Google debuted an app timer earlier this year and Apple 's upcoming iOS 12 release includes a devoted Screen Time tab within Settings. (The oft-observed irony is that tech made these fixes a necessity to begin with.)

For Facebook and Instagram, the wellbeing revolution is linked to research showing that active engagement, such as commenting or posting, is tied to positive wellbeing while passive engagement, such as scrolling, is not. It probably doesn't hurt that these new tools will also help to appease parents concerned about the effects of screen time and groups, such as the Center for Humane Technology, that call for a solution to "a system designed to addict us."

But will the tools rolling out to Facebook and Instagram users really result in a more meaningful, intentional experience?

That partially depends on how you define meaningful. There is no right answer to this, nor is there a definitive number of minutes you should be spending on your devices for maximum wellbeing.

Facebook and Instagram's tools are certainly a more moderate, even subdued, approach compared to what Apple will offer iPhone users when iOS 12 rolls out this fall. In the new operating system, setting app limits and designating "downtime" present a stronger visual case for taking time away from social media: Try to open the apps, and you'll be shown a white screen with an hourglass and a reminder that "you've reached your limit." With a single tap you can ignore this limit and continue scrolling your feed, but it's a much stronger deterrent than a simple push notification.

If you really want to hold yourself accountable for the time you spend on Instagram or Facebook, you might stand a better chance with the settings iOS 12 offers. At the same time, it's worth noting that there isn't anything wrong with wanting to zone out and tap through Stories or scroll through your feed. It's just about finding the balance that works for you and your schedule.

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This summer has been an absolute trip. We've made it through two eclipses and seen retrogrades begin and end. From the looks of it, August will only be a continuation of this wild ride. If you had plans to coast through this month, you might need to scrap them.

We'll all feel the effects of the solar eclipse on 11th August (even if we can't see it). Brace yourself for slowdowns and speed-ups. But we have good news, too: Namely, Mercury goes direct on the 19th. While we're all breathing a collective sigh of relief, take a moment to consider how this retrograde might have actually helped you — did you get to take a breather from your regular schedule? Did you learn to go with the flow?

We enter Virgo season on the 22nd, which always comes as a bit of a wakeup call: Time to get organised and say goodbye to summer, stargazers. Venus will trine Mars retrograde (which has drifted back into Capricorn for a spell) on 7th August. It will be a time of emotional fireworks that could go either messy or spicy. Read on for how to make the most out of August!

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There are many movies about the friendship between teen girls, from Clueless to Mean Girls. There are also plenty of movies about skate culture, such as the Venice Beach-set Lords of Dogtown. However, you won't find much overlap in these two genres: Skating is often portrayed as a dude-heavy activity, a specific sliver of bro culture. Skate Kitchen bucks this notion, giving young women a chance to tear up their own city streets —  together.

The trailer for Skate Kitchen reveals a women-led coming-of-age story that looks a lot different than Clueless — though with equal amounts of heart. In the upcoming film, which is the first narrative feature from The Wolfpack director Crystal Moselle, shy Long Island teen Camille (Rachelle Vinberg) befriends an all-girl skateboarding crew called Skate Kitchen. Prior to filming, Moselle immersed herself in the lives of real teen skaters, giving the movie and Camille an extra dose of authenticity.

The girls within this crew skate, cause trouble, and even discuss the pros and cons of tampons. That's particularly refreshing: So many movies fail to represent the "girlhood" experiences that remain with young women who gravitate towards male-dominated spaces. Camille even falls for another skateboarder (Jaden Smith), though, according to the description on the film's official website, finds their new romance "trickier to navigate than a kickflip."

The film, which initially premiered at the Sundance Film Festival, opens in UK cinemas on 28th September. Check out the trailer, below:

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Three years ago, Em Ford went viral when she uploaded a YouTube video showing the world the hateful feedback she's received from posting makeup-free selfies to her My Pale Skin Instagram account. The "You Look Disgusting " video, which has amassed 28 million views, shows Ford surrounded by the nearly 100,000 negative comments people have written about her — all in an effort to humanise the person behind the screen and end the stigma around acne and acne scars.

Since then, Ford has continued to spread her skin-positive message on Instagram, where she frequently shows and talks about her scars with more than 970,000 of her followers. So, when Huda Beauty, the brand run by the hugely popular beauty blogger and entrepreneur Huda Kattan, used her image to promote an article on Facebook all about getting rid of acne scars, with a caption reading "The only thing worse than a breakout is the little scars they leave behind," Ford fought back.

The issue ran deeper than the brand using her photo without her permission. It was the fact that the brand used her face to promote an article that spreads a message that's antithetical to the one Ford's been spreading for years.

“Dear @HudaBeauty, I wanted to say thank you for using my #skinpositivity images to tell the world that my face full of scars is worse than active breakouts," Ford wrote on her Instagram story. “And for reinforcing that narrative that anything less than 'flawless' is something we should feel ashamed of, or want to fix and 'get rid of.'"

According to Ford, the message Kattan's brand was spreading is part of what causes so many people to feel ashamed of the appearance of their skin in the first place. “Headlines like that are the reason I receive thousands of emails on a daily and weekly basis from women all over the world," Ford continued. “Some of whom are made to feel so ashamed of their skin, it affects every aspect of their lives. And couldn’t even dream of enjoying themselves on holiday without applying a full coverage foundation.”

Ford left Huda Beauty with one question: "Do you want to be part of the problem? Or part of the solution?" Huda Beauty quickly removed the Facebook post, and Kattan herself took to her Instagram stories to take responsibility for the mistake, apologise to Ford and the people the post had hurt, and express her admiration for Ford and her message.

On Tuesday evening, Ford then revealed on her Instagram story that Kattan had personally reached out to her via e-mail and apologised directly. "We're cool. I don't hold any grudges, ill thoughts or hate towards you," Ford said in her email back to Kattan. "When women empower other women, amazing things can happen. So my next question is: How can I help you to empower others."

She then encouraged her followers to spread some positivity not only on Kattan's page but others' too. In her words: "You can use words to lift someone up... or tear someone down. You have a choice. What's it going to be?"

Refinery29 has reached out to both Ford and Kattan for comment and will update this post when we hear back.

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Unless you're a true morning person who relishes in rising early to take on the day, chances are you're well-versed in the mental game we call ' getting ready roulette'. Each tap of your snooze button is an acknowledgement of risk vs. reward: How far can you go and still make it out the door on time? One tap means you're rushed, two equates to skipping breakfast, and three normally resolves us to a baseball cap or ponytail and whatever makeup look we can throw together on the train.

While there's no denying the importance of sleep — I, for one, am a snoozer — falling into a rut is just as bad as forced early mornings. Luckily, thanks to Instagram's "save" section, it's easy to aggregate the inspiration you need to craft new looks after one, or three, snoozes. We're in the same boat, so we're sharing the photos we've archived in the past month to get you started. Hopefully, these easy looks will have you feeling your best, no matter the hour.

Ahead, check out 31 looks to try this August.

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Close your eyes and picture the end of the world. Is it a flood? A war? A disease? After reading these August new releases, your version of the world's end might be radically altered. A theme running through the new releases of August is endings — either of the world, or of characters' worlds.

In some speculative books out this month, like Severance by Ling Ma and Vox by Christina Dalcher, protagonists have to navigate worlds drastically reshaped by a global events, like pandemic ( Severance), or a policy that limits women's speech to less than 100 words a day ( Vox). Haemi Lee, the central character of Crystal Hana Kim's wrenching debut If You Leave Me, sees her conception of "normal" completely erased by war. But endings can also be narrower, more personal — and no less wrenching. Two exquisite novels out this month, Let Me Be Like Water by S.K. Perry and The Third Hotel by Laura Van Den Berg, explore the grief of losing a partner, and losing the life that had been yours together.

Perhaps the most extreme ending is the one which looms over the memoir Judas by Astrid Holleeder. In the novel, Holleeder, a criminal lawyer, explains her decision to testify against her brother, Willem "Wim" Holleeder, one of the Netherlands' most notorious criminals. Holleeder writes in hiding. Every day, her life is in danger.

Many of the books in this round-up depict uprooted lives. Luckily, there's Maeve Higgins' Maeve in America, which will provide the laughter to soothe your soul.

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Actress and model Paris Jackson took to her Instagram Stories on Wednesday to clear up rumours that she is planning to check into rehab following Demi Lovato's reported drug overdose.

On July 24, TMZ reported that the "Tell Me You Love Me Singer," an advocate for mental health, overdosed on drugs in her Hollywood Hills home. Lovato was taken to the hospital and, hours later, her family released a statement confirming that she was awake. According to Entertainment Tonight, Lovato is still in the hospital.

Now, Jackson's name has been thrown into the middle of Lovato's very personal battle.

A Lovato fan account on Instagram, which regularly posts updates about the singer, shared a tweet which claims that Lovato's recent overdose was a wake up call of sorts to Jackson, who has battled her own mental health issues.

"Demi almost died and this served as an alert for Paris to be healthy," a source claimed in what appears to be a reposted tweet. (It is unclear what the original source of the message is.) The tweet also claimed Jackson would "return to the clinic" to seek help.

Jackson shared a screen grab of the image along with her own message to fans.

"Umm, no?? i haven't gone to a clinic. . someone doesn't have to almost die for me to know to be healthy, i've already had friends OD and die. that's enough for me." In another tweet responding to the rumour, Jackson said the reports were no more than clickbait, writing, "i don't need a celebrity's misfortune to make me healthy." Representation for Jackson did not immediately respond to Refinery29's requests for further comment.

Lovato and Jackson have supported one another through difficult times in the past. In 2013, following Jackson's attempt to take her own life, Lovato tweeted the following:

"Dear Paris Jackson, don't let bullies to let you down. We believe in you!! Stay strong."

Both Jackson and Lovato have been candid about their mental health battles. At the time of the tweet to Jackson, Lovato was over a year into her own recovery from addiction issues and eating disorders. She has also previously spoken out about her own suicidal ideation, as Jackson has: In a 2017 Rolling Stone interview, the Star actress claimed that the 2013 incident was just one of "multiple times" she wished to end her own life.

If you are struggling with substance abuse, please visit FRANK or call 0300 123 6600 for friendly, confidential advice. Lines are open 24 hours a day.

If you are thinking about suicide, please contact Samaritans on 116 123. All calls are free and will be answered in confidence.

If you are struggling with an eating disorder, please call Beat on 0808 801 0677. Support and information is available 365 days a year.

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When you're single, sex dreams are kind of the best. Your unconscious mind gets to go on sexual adventures your awake self might never be brave enough to try. But, when you're in a relationship, those sexy dreams can turn tumultuous because they don't always feature your partner in the starring role.

Often, we wake up from dreams about infidelity drenched in sweat and guilt. What do these dreams mean? Even if you know that your sexual thoughts haven't strayed from your partner, and you'd never cheat in real life, having sex dreams about someone else can make you feel like there's something majorly wrong in your relationship. After all, didn't Freud say that our dreams reveal our subconscious desires?

Despite what Freud said, having a cheating dream doesn't necessarily mean that you want to cheat on your partner. There's another famous psychologist we have to consider here, says Danielle Forshee, Psy.D, a psychologist and social worker: Carl Jung. And according to Jung, a dream doesn't necessarily reveal repressed wishes. Instead, it's meant to be used as a symbol of something going on in your life. "A cheating dream may not suggest cheating at all, but instead suggests looking deeper into what the of symbol cheating means to you," Dr. Forshee says. The "symbol of cheating" could mean many different things, depending on what your culture and upbringing taught you about cheating.

For some, cheating might be a symbol for breaking promises. Maybe there's some other commitment you've made that you now want to take back, like wanting to quit your job or skip the group hang you said you'd show up for this weekend. Subconsciously, if you've been thinking about breaking a promise of sorts, that could show up in your dreams as infidelity, says Stephanie Gailing, a life coach who does dream work. "If we think about cheating on a partner, that's a place where you gave your word but you're going back on your word," she says. So breaking any other kind of promise is the same theme, and your worries over that are showing up in a different (and sexier) storyline.

So maybe your sex dreams aren't about sex at all. But then again, maybe they are. Dream interpretation isn't a solid science, so a dream about cheating isn't going to mean the same thing for everyone who dreams it. For some, an infidelity dream might come from real flirting with or attraction to someone who isn't their partner, says Jessa Zimmerman, a certified sex therapist and author of Sex Without Stress. "If your sex dreams are about a particular person, especially someone you know in your real life, you should consider whether there is a real life attraction (not a problem) and any sort of dalliance or flirtation with them (a problem)," she says. Maybe your dreams are playing out the same fantasies you're having when you're awake, and that might call for a conversation with your partner.

You don't necessarily have to bring up the dream (in fact, Zimmerman suggests you don't), but you do need bring up any issue that might be manifesting in those dreams. Even if you aren't flirting with anyone in your real life, having a cheating dream gives you an opportunity to take stock of your relationship, Zimmerman says. "How happy are you, really, with your sexual relationship with your partner? Think about whether there's stress around sex, whether you’re happy with the frequency of sex in your relationship, whether you're expressing your desires and having them met, and whether you feel good enough about your partner that you want to be having sex together," she says. If you're unsatisfied with your sex life, dreams about cheating could be a symptom. So, again, you'll want to chat with your partner to figure out how you can start feeling more satisfied.

Remember, the dreams that indicate real problems in your relationship don't happen in a vacuum. So chances are good that you already know something is off before you ever see an explicit movie starring you and your neighbour play in your head. And if there aren't any signs that your relationship is in turmoil, then the sex dream is probably just a dream. So step number one when you wake up shaking with worry is to chill. "You don’t need to feel guilty about what you think about, especially when it’s unconscious during sleep," Zimmerman says. "We don’t know where dreams come from or what purpose they serve, so we can’t attribute ill intent."

Dreams serve plenty of purposes, Gailing says. Sometimes they really do reveal the deep desires of our souls, but sometimes they're just there to entertain our sleeping minds. So don't worry so much (unless you have something to worry about).

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When you're growing up and learning about the birds and the bees, the general narrative is often that two people can meet, fall in love, and have a baby, and it's as easy as that. And sometimes, it can be. But for many of us, reality is a lot more complicated in all of those aspects — but especially when it comes to having a baby.

Studies have suggested that the emotional stress that comes with infertility can be comparable to the levels of stress that cancer patients experience, and that rates of anxiety and depression can be high amongst those who experience infertility.

Marra Ackerman, MD, clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and director of reproductive psychiatry at NYU Langone Health, says that she's certainly noted mental health struggles in patients of hers who are experiencing infertility.

"I’d say probably the large majority of patients who are undergoing infertility treatments will experience mood or anxiety symptoms, but I think it’s underreported because [those] people may not seek out mental health treatment because they’re often so burdened with all the appointments of fertility treatments," she says.

Not to mention, there's already stigma around both mental health problems and fertility problems. And the pressure to have children can make it even harder to talk about how difficult the road to parenthood can be.

"As a society, we need to consider the fact that pregnancy and getting pregnant is very complicated," Dr. Ackerman says. "I think what happens is, people ask quite insensitive questions, making assumptions about timeline or ease of getting pregnant, and project those expectations onto women. I think that’s something we all have to work harder to be more mindful of."

But well-meaning yet insensitive questions aren't the only reason that infertility is emotionally taxing. There are several reasons why your mental health can suffer if you're struggling to conceive — read on for six of them.

If you are experiencing depression or anxiety and need support, please contact Samaritans on 116 123. All calls are free and will be answered in confidence.

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A few months ago, I became obsessed with the Instagram account @Celebface. If you asked me how I found it, I couldn’t exactly tell you, because it’s not an obvious find; despite its 504k followers, it is shrouded in mystery. It’s private, it doesn’t follow anyone and the bio reads, somewhat ominously, "WELCOME TO REALITY".

But I'd found myself there through some late night exploring, relentlessly scrolling through the endless close-ups of celebrity faces, comparisons between Instagram and 'Real Life' and my favourite: the airbrushing GIFs. Described by Dazed as the "Diet Prada of Celebrity Airbrushing", the account trawls through photos posted by famous people to their Instagram accounts and tracks down and compares them to the originals taken by photographers, friends and photo agencies. These are then overlaid in a hypnotic GIF that shows the staggering number of edits the Instagrammer in question has made to their picture.

Paris Hilton’s entire torso shrinks while she’s on the phone on the beach; Kim Kardashian’s eyes enlarge, her eyebrows rise and her skin changes shade; Bella Hadid’s hair develops new volume while her breasts shift up her chest.

The intention is to expose the levels of manipulation that go into every Instagram posted by various celebrities and influencers, which would otherwise go unnoticed. It’s disorienting and addictive and I. Am. Obsessed.

Paris Hilton’s entire torso shrinks; Kim Kardashian’s eyes enlarge, her eyebrows rise and her skin changes shade; Bella Hadid’s hair develops new volume while her breasts shift up her chest.

What I’m obsessed with, specifically, is the moment of transformation. In that rapidly flicking GIF it feels like you’re watching a glitch in The Matrix and the digital mask slips. The account is a great demonstration of how impossible beauty standards affect all of us, but it is even more of a reflection of how we see ourselves through screens, and how unstable our identity can become.

I tried to work out why I’m so fixated on these GIFs and I landed on this: When a woman is constantly watching herself, and anticipating how she is perceived, she is also creating the version of herself in her head that she wishes to be seen. And the celebrity creating an airbrushed version of herself is a literal version of that, layering her own vision over herself and presenting it to the world as fact.

This morbid fascination with @Celebface is paired with a sense of guilt. I know my almost daily return to the account is voyeuristic and probably unfeminist of me. In fact, I know it’s unfeminist because it’s a bit too reminiscent of the before-and-afters and paparazzi shots I would surreptitiously pore over in Heat magazine when I was a teenager.

Magazines of that kind were a hotbed of body shaming and intrusive cackling at people (mainly women) for daring to live their lives. I knew they were bad but I loved them, because they created the warped sense of 'celebrities are like people too' – but all that was really saying is that to be a normal woman is to be something you should fundamentally be ashamed of and terrified to reveal, unless you adhered to the strictest of beauty standards. But of course you didn’t – you’re normal.

This particular strain of invasive body shaming has happily fallen out of favour, but @Celebface shows that there is another form of shaming going on that comes from our constant surveillance of each other. If we are constantly watching ourselves, Instagram is the most deliberate digital version of that, where you watch the image of yourself distilled on screen, and see how others see it through likes and comments. And, in turn, we’re all watching each other watching ourselves, creating a messy, endless loop of audience and image surveying one other. And if your eye is particularly keen, this means someone can catch and expose the very insecurities you tried to hide.

What the weight gain before-and-afters have in common with the @Celebface GIFs is a sense of 'Gotcha!' journalism. The former was much more explicit (there’s nothing unambiguous about a circle of shame zooming in on someone's unsuspecting tummy rolls next to an older picture of their abs). But the latter shows that the version of themselves that someone presents to the world, via Instagram, is in some way a lie.

We’re all watching each other watching ourselves, creating a messy, endless loop of audience and image surveying one other.

And it’s becoming more uncomfortable as the platform blurs the definition of celebrity: it’s not just household names (your Kardashians, Hadids, Hiltons) but also IG 'influencers' and models, most of whom I haven’t heard of. They are just as susceptible to airbrushing, if not more so, and many have built their mini Instagram empires off the back of what they look like. Or, more precisely, the vision they wish the world to see. And then @Celebface comes along and reveals they constantly edit their nose to appear smaller, have had lip fillers and their bum is significantly smaller than you thought.

It can be so satisfying, especially if the person in question makes claims of self-love and 'accepting your body' as it shows what we’ve already assumed – that the 'self-love' they profess to have is not real, and talk of body acceptance is not sincere at all. Instead, it is just the movement du jour, a way to make yourself 'relatable' to your followers without challenging the rampant fatphobia or oppressive beauty standards that necessitated the 'self-love' movement in the first place.

But instead of being consistently vindicating, it’s often quite sad. And when the same person appears multiple times and they are always editing the same part of their body, their insecurities are then writ large. And celebrating that feels inherently cruel. The nature of Instagram makes it feel like there aren’t humans in those pictures, but there are, and it feels like it could eventually reach anyone who edits their photos a little bit to feel better about themselves. And there is nothing wrong with that and no need to 'expose' people when the world insists on making us feel ashamed of who we are.

But despite my better judgements, I’m not going to unfollow. Because like nothing else, it lays bare that the vision we all have of ourselves is not real. The projection is just a projection, FaceTuned within the four walls of an Instagram pic and ceasing to exist outside the app. And the potential to transform isn’t real either.

Where before-and-afters and paparazzi photos implied the potential of what you could become, the @Celebface GIFs show that the act of becoming isn’t even real, let alone the result. Through this frame, Instagram is less like a reflection of life, and more like a kind of science fiction – a mostly fun, sometimes terrifying world where real human beings cease to exist, except when the vision of the self is flicked off by some master at spotting Photoshop. In that flicker is a hint – just a hint – of the human being underneath. And as much as I question or analyse it, I can’t look away.

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In Never Goin' Back, shit — metaphorically and literally — is hitting the fan. The unapologetically raunchy comedy about two 16-year-old girls in Texas trying to get to the beach is like Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle meets Superbad with more drugs, closer friendship, and more poop jokes. It's one of the most unique comedies of the year, and that's largely thanks to the film's stars, Cami Morrone and Maia Mitchell, and its writer-director (in her feature film debut), Augustine Frizzell.

Jessie (Morrone) and Angela (Mitchell) aren't just best friends and roommates — they're soulmates. The teens sleep in the same bed, work together (at an iHop-esque diner in the middle of a small, hot, and humid Texas town), snort rails of coke on a yard-long glass table, accidentally eat edibles, and mistakenly get arrested. They don't go to high school, they don't have any adults telling them what to do (save for their guardian angel of a boss, Roderick, played by Marcus M. Mauldin), and they don't live by any hard set of rules. The only thing on their mind is going to Galveston for Jessie's 17th birthday. After they're arrested because of a hilariously botched robbery by a friend of Jessie's brother (a wannabe drug dealer, played by ), their big beach trip gets farther and farther out of reach — but they'll do anything to make it there.

If the drug use, cursing, and lack of parental guidance seem totally exaggerated, then consider this: The story is based on Frizzell's own teenage years when she lived in Panama City Beach, Florida, with her brother, his girlfriend, and a best friend of her own. "The characters are a mixture of my personality traits, and my friend at the time’s personality traits," Frizzell told Refinery29 during a joint interview with Morrone. "Spring break in Panama City Beach, there is something so incredible about it — this level of freedom and lack of inhibition that feels so fucking good. But as soon as all of the spring breakers leave, and you are left in Panama City Beach, it is so depressing."

Watching the film, one might be reminded of 2003's Thirteen, another seminal movie about good friends making bad decisions. Thirteen was also based on true events and cowritten by one its stars, Nikki Reed (a teenager at the time), with writer-director Catherine Hardwicke. But where Thirteen pierced through the facade of an innocent teen's (Evan Rachel Wood) coming-of-age story, Never Goin' Back gives you a more light-hearted look into one week in the lives of its characters.

That mixture of freedom, despair, and pure adolescent energy is what fuels Never Goin' Back, and what makes it feel so refreshing as a woman-led comedy in an industry that largely doesn't let women be gross and funny. Refinery29 spoke to Frizzell and Morrone, who, in between laughs, explained the importance of female buddy comedies, and why society is so afraid to admit that girls can be gross, too.

Refinery29: I love that you're reclaiming dirty humour. I joke that I like really "frat boy chic" movies, which I consider to be elevated stoner humour. Pineapple Express is my ultimate, and Superbad. Cami what was your first reaction when you read the script?

Cami Morrone: "It was my first time actually seeing something with a female leading that had raunchy behaviour and vulgar language in a mostly male-dominated world of comedy. I thought it was cool to show these girls who are badass and cuss and get stoned, but are still just cool girls."

They seemed cool, but they also seemed like good people. A lot of “cool girls” come off as bad or mean, and you think, “Wow, maybe some of that bad stuff should happen to you.” Did you know that this was Augustine’s life, or is that something that you found out after?

C.M.: "I didn’t know it was based on Augustine’s life until I Skyped with her prior to going in and meeting her, which I think was my second audition or my chemistry read. So I actually didn’t know, but it made it more fun. I thought, 'This woman looks so innocent — she doesn’t look like she’d do drugs.' She is a mum now, and I was like, 'This is the opposite of your life.' It is kind of a fun little twist in the narrative."

Augustine, does that happen to you a lot? Are people shocked that you lived like this when they see the movie?

Augustine Frizzell: "Yeah, totally. There were a lot of things that I didn’t even get to put in just because they were even more outrageous than the stuff that is in there. There was stuff that we [as teens] would do that felt too outrageous to film. You know how they say, 'Real life is crazier than movies?' That is the case for a lot of stuff that happened."

You bring up a really good point about why there aren’t more stories like this. Is it because the people wanting to tell them aren’t given the right resources and platform to do so? Is that something you are keeping in mind on different projects going forward?

A.F.: "I like both. I do have a film I am attached to that is a big studio comedy and stars a man [ Editor’s note: I would learn later that this film is likely Stoned Alone , starring Ryan Reynolds], and it is not socially relevant in that way. It is about marijuana legalisation, but it is a big studio comedy. I respond to that, but I also felt that that is one of many things I want to do. The other things that I respond to are stories of well-rounded female characters, and women who are making a change — or not even making a change, just characters that are written in a three-dimensional way, whether they are flawed or hateable. But on a broader scale, eventually one of my lifelong goals is to help people from communities or lower socioeconomic areas to tell their stories."

What exactly about Cami and Maia made them perfect for their parts? And which character do each of you feel closest to?

C.M.: [Starts talking, then laughs] "I heard my name and thought you were going to ask me a question, but this one is all you Augustine."

A.F.: [Laughs] "You gotta own it! But in all honesty, there was a certain hesitance to cast Cami because she is very attractive. Maia, too, but I saw what she could do acting-wise. And so with Cami, I was a little hesitant, [but] then I talked to her and she was charismatic and just had this incredible energy. That was step one, and then I was like, 'Oh God, please make her audition be good!'...Maia, same thing, we just had a rapport and she was fantastic."

What female relationships in movies and TV did you draw inspiration from?

A.F.: " Thelma & Louise, Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion, Broad City. I think Broad City is such a great portrayal of female friends. One of the things they have in Broad City is an unrelenting commitment to each other, and I thought that was so refreshing. I wrote the first version of the movie before Broad City came out, and when I was rewriting it and saw the show I was like, 'That is what I want!' They were portraying this level of grossness that I had never seen onscreen, so I was influenced by that. I mustered up the confidence, thanks to them and the way that they portrayed women, to write this the way that I did it."

Why are there not more female buddy comedies? Guys have “bromance,” a brandable word for their buddy comedies, but we don’t.

C.M.: "I think people are afraid to show that side of young females, or they don’t know how to do it right. This movie is based on real life to a certain extent, [which] made it feel authentic. When people tried in the past, it may have felt not as organic."

A.F.: "I think it’s the same reason why we don’t have that many female filmmakers. It starts at the top and works its way down. When you have access and you have support, you are more likely to do it, and then it’s a chain reaction. Any female comedy that comes out is judged so harshly. There is a wild double standard between male-led comedies and female-led comedies, and every once in a while one slips through and really gets the praise it deserves. I honestly don’t know why there aren’t more. There should be."

Do you think it’s because we literally think women to be clean and sanitised?

A.F.: "Completely. It has been the same way with female sexuality. I think the society feels that these things aren’t appropriate. For example, I was just going through approval for a new show that I just directed to get a man’s boner, an erect penis, having a condom put on it. It was like, 'Sure, no problem.' As soon as we wanted to show a vagina in a birthing scene, it required like three extra steps of approval because they had never had one on the network before. And they were, 'Uhh... can we show a vagina?' It was such an unexpected thing for them. We got the approval. I am so proud that we have a full-on shot of a vagina, which I hope makes it into the final cut. It was eye-opening to see how different the standard is for sexuality and women or body humour and women. [Like in this movie] the foul language the girls say, people think they’re trying to just be like the boys, but they aren’t trying to be like the boys — this is how they talk. This is how real girls talk. Some women who see this are like, 'I don’t talk like that.' Okay, that’s not how you are, but that is how I am, and that is how a lot of women that I know are. We just don’t see it on film."

This probably the best running poop joke that I have seen in a long time.

A.F.: "Thank you! People are like, 'It’s filled with so much potty humour!' But it’s really just one poop joke we just bring it up a couple times so you don’t forget she hasn’t gone. There’s a similar thing in Dumb & Dumber, and it’s just so funny how differently it is received.

What do you see next in your career? More comedies, more dramas?

C.M.: "I am kind of torn, not that I have to make a decision, but I found myself really excited to do Never Goin’ Back because I think that comedy is something that is such a part of my life. I think that it is so much easier to do a comedy — your days are so much brighter and more fun. But I am about to star in a role that is pretty heavy and intense and hardcore. I’m excited for that in a different way, because it will be a challenge. My ideal career would be to do stuff that is comedic and shows my personality, and then to also be able to be able to carry those harder roles that have a little more depth to them."

I hope you do make more comedies.

C.M.: "We need to do the sequel, We’re Comin’ Back. Or We Changed Our Minds, We Are Going Back. Coming out next year."

Interview has been edited and condensed.

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It’s taken me far too long to reach this point but at 31, I think I’m finally done trying on crop tops in Topshop and making myself feel bad because I don’t look like the 18-year-olds in the campaigns by the tills. I look more like the chocolate buttons. I never thought 'dressing your age' was a thing, but suddenly I want to look very chic and put-together instead of scrappy and Shoreditch, which has been my summer style for the last decade. So I’ve relegated my Reebok Classics, sport logo T-shirts and cycling shorts to a youth drawer under my bed, and now all I’m left with is three outfits that I feel represent where I’m at in life, all from Reformation.

"Dressing in your 30s is a problem, especially in summer," agrees 31-year-old Laura Hinson, communications manager at London womenswear label Marques'Almeida, a brand known for its cool girl aesthetic. "You mainly want to be cool, but also a tiny bit sexy, and with an overall effect of looking like you couldn’t care less. You’re over the all-black phase, you no longer have time to trek to the high street or trawl through influencers on Instagram, but there’s no one else to really covet." Ah, the mid-late 20s all-black phase – that was a simpler time.

A post shared by Alexa (@alexachung) on Jun 10, 2018 at 3:01pm PDT

Hinson is right about the dearth of thirtysomething style icons. Instagram is packed with pastel-haired babes in their 20s squatting by their mirrors in the perfect True Romance cowgirl outfit, looking very cool, more than a little bit sexy, and with the overall effect of caring a lot. But for obvious reasons – like Instagram is relatively new and very youth-obsessed – there aren’t that many influencers in their 30s. Alexa Chung is one of the few style icons I had in my 20s who I still want to dress like in my 30s, and there are a bunch of thirtysomething fashion editors and models who hit the sweet spot between effortless and put-together – like Caroline Issa, Julia Sarr-Jamois, Elaine Welteroth and Naomi Shimada – but they’re in a minority.

A post shared by Elaine Welteroth (@elainewelteroth) on Jul 22, 2018 at 11:45am PDT

Women’s ready-to-wear buyer at Browns Fashion, Octavia Bradford, references Attico designer Giorgia Tordini and actress Zoë Kravitz (who is actually 29 but we’ll give her that) as "perfect examples of how you don’t have to wear slacks and a brooch when you approach 30". Both women, she says, have an identifiable personal style "but tailor their look to suit a vast variety of environments". Like me, and most of the women I speak to about this, Octavia doesn’t believe in 'age-appropriate' dressing in theory, but acknowledges that it exists for the individual in reality: "The term irritates me, particularly when it’s used in relation to the way people dress. Yet, just two years into my 30s, I’ve realised it’s kind of a thing." For Octavia, the conundrum of 20s dressing to 30s dressing manifested in a single item. "It was denim shorts – I’d look at them, descend into a propriety minefield and end up knee-deep in an existential hot pant crisis. As much as I don’t like to admit it, this whole age thing does have the potential to add another obstacle to the insecurity-ridden ordeal that is getting dressed every morning." While Octavia has decided not to pay attention to age-appropriate dressing, she does pay attention to appropriate dressing, i.e. appropriate for your surroundings. "Sophistication and environment are valid considerations," she says. "It sounds like a cliché, but what's most important is being comfortable in your choices and staying true to your personal style."

The problem, then, might be that what I’m most comfortable in, and what I consider to be the essence of my personal style, is cycling shorts, oversized T-shirts and backwards caps, which, regardless of age, are just not appropriate for most environments I find myself in as a 31-year-old woman. Another problem is that my personal style, which in a word is athleisure, has been quite seriously eclipsed by ultra-feminine dressing this summer, evidenced in brands like Reformation, Ganni, Rouje, Molly Goddard and Shrimps.

A post shared by 𝕟𝕒𝕠𝕞𝕚 𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕞𝕒𝕕𝕒 (@naomishimada) on Jul 16, 2018 at 1:50pm PDT

One of the chicest women I know is my best friend Nadia Bean (32), who is so chic she works at Alexander McQueen. Bean has never considered style as age-appropriate. "I’ve always dressed as though I’m in my 30s," she tells me, "which was uncomfortable when I was 23, and all of our friends – mainly you – were running around east London in tiny skirts, cycling shorts and trainers while I was in midi skirts and buttoned-up blouses. But now, to my delight, style has evolved and I’m not the only Victorian on London Fields!"

Fashion critic Lisa Armstrong (43) wrote nearly 3,000 words for Vogue last year on style and age, outlining a few – but not many – rules for dressing past your 20s: "Lesson one: while revealing too much flesh or clinging to the holy terrors of boho, rock chic, grunge and girlish fussiness are all no-nos for the sophisticated grown-up, beyond that it’s an open field." Armstrong quotes many fashion insiders in the piece, including Victoria Beckham, who says: "I’m staggered when I look back at how uncomfortable some of the clothes I wore were. But I dressed to be a certain kind of sexy. Now that I’m 43, my idea of sexy has evolved [...] I don’t feel I have to show it all off in a tight dress. Maybe that way of dressing was a reflection of how insecure I felt."

"Not revealing too much flesh" – a.k.a. the "hot pant crisis" – is also a factor for me in age-appropriate dressing. Beckham’s words about sexy dressing as a way of masking insecurity really resonate, and although my kind of sexy (cycling shorts and aggressive logo T-shirts) was very different from hers (skintight trousers and dresses), the feeling was the same. While I would defend any woman’s right to wear short shorts and tiny dresses at any age, I just don’t feel the same way wearing them myself as I did a year ago, which could be down to a shift in trends, or in my age, or both.

Age-appropriate dressing might seem a pretty irrelevant concept in 2018; millennials don’t like boxes, brackets or rules. But for many women, like me, an internal shift does take place, not just in style but in lifestyle, ambition and how we want the world to see us. It’s a work in progress, but the last few items I’ve bought tick my new chic box: a white Topshop jumpsuit and a brown Rouje silk dress. I also bought that crop top I wasn’t sure about from Topshop saying 'It’s cool to be kind' across the front, wore it to a 60th birthday garden party, felt silly and learned my lesson. (I already knew it was cool to be kind.)

A post shared by sarrjamois (@sarrjamois) on Jun 3, 2018 at 8:02am PDT

With several birthdays, Notting Hill Carnival and lots of work events coming up over the next month, and the weather forecast still insisting on 27, 27, 30, 31, I asked Octavia for a few occasion-specific styling tips:

... for Notting Hill Carnival

It's carnival, an occasion where anything goes, so I'm wearing a bodysuit (like Alexia Hentsch) with high-waisted jeans (like Re/Done).

... for a big presentation at work

Hallelujah for a legitimate opportunity to rock a suit. That may sound crazy from someone who apparently dislikes to be overdressed, but suits are everywhere this season and designers showed them on the runway with vastly varying degrees of formality. I like to layer them with a plain or vintage band T-shirt underneath my jacket, to keep the look more casual and less boardroom bore.

... for a day in the park

A day in the park calls for a printed Reformation mini dress. This season marked a real return to femininity, so pretty dresses are a must-have for AW18. I always offset the super sweet and girly nature of Reformation dresses with a mannish loafer (like Gucci Brixton) or a chunky boot (like Chloé Rylee).

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Over the past 18 months, while scraping together a house deposit with my partner (emphasis on the scraping), I've really tried to scrimp and save money where I can. When assessing my spending, I thought it was about time I took a long, hard look in my (lamplit, magnifying, rose-gold) vanity mirror. I never really took stock of just how much money I was spending on beauty treatments. Not only that, it was taking up chunks of my time; when Grace told Dr Alex on Love Island her time off was spent on "maintenance, babe", I felt it.

Spending time on beauty treatments is great if you love sitting in a salon, spa or hairdresser's chair. I can see how it can be a much-needed break for some. But personally, I’d always rather be bingeing the latest Netflix true-crimer. So I decided to go on a one-woman beauty mission to swap all my in-salon appointments for DIY versions. Yep, it all went – every pluck, prep and preen usually undertaken by a professional was now in my own (and, at first, not very capable) hands. Here's what happened...

Hair Colour

I swapped: Six-weekly hair colour appointments (£90-£110) for Josh Wood At Home Hair Dye, available at Boots

I’m not an easy hair colour customer. I have my mum’s natural red tones, so opting for a lighter shade usually means I end up a light ginger – beautiful on some, just not on me – or at best, brassy. In salon I prepare hairdressers for this, so they always add whichever magic toner cools my locks. Nowadays, a light brown/dark blonde natural-looking colour (think Millie Mackintosh) is the goal for my naturally dark brown hair.

While I was happy with my salon-coloured hair, I often had to set aside a rare Saturday morning to get it dyed. By the time I got to the hairdresser's, spent two-plus hours in the chair, then got home, half a day off was gone. Plus, it was spendy. I love a bargain, and had heard great things about Josh Wood’s at-home colour range. He’s manned the hair of many models and celebrities, and now, in my bathroom, he was manning mine.

Because I love a natural-looking colour, it’s been great for me. The protective barrier cream, stain-removing wipes and sachet of deep conditioning treatment make the box dye more luxe than your average. I have never had so many compliments on my hair since using this colour, and have converted lots of friends. Someone even said they prefer my hair to before – a backhanded compliment if I’ve ever had one, but I’m going with it.

"It’s changed my life," I told my boyfriend.

"That’s quite a bold –"

"Changed. My. Life."

I used to get Olaplex with my full head of colour, which no doubt added to my 'ooh, ahh' post-hairdresser's moment. You know, when you can’t stop touching the ends for hours afterwards. I’ve tried hair masks before and never been impressed enough to re-buy a single one until now. I also use the blonde shampoo and conditioner from the range, which has kept my colour fresh and my hair shiny. It’s been six months now, and I think I get more smug with every dye.

What I saved: £80-100 every six weeks.

Nails

I swapped: Monthly salon gel manicures, which usually cost £28, for the Bluesky UV Gel Starter Kit, £37.95, available at Amazon

I realised that if I could paint my nails at home nicely enough, why couldn’t I do that with a gel polish? There’s a lot of 'gel-like' polishes on the market but for me, nothing beats the shine or staying power of a machine-cured gel. I must admit I chose my gel machine completely on a whim after a quick google. I went for the Bluesky kit although the Mylee version, £22.99, is also reviewed positively.

I set up my nail station at my desk, then cut and shape my nails as normal, use the alcohol wipes, base coat, colour (two coats), top coat, then wipe again. The kit comes with a choice of three colours; I opted for a classic nude, pinky tone and dark red. Rotating these three has fared me well – I like the shine and knowing my nails are ‘neat’ more than changing colours often. Personally, I have been super impressed with my DIY job, which, by the way, lasts just as long as the salon version. Plus, I get excited when I treat myself and add a new colour to my collection (an individual gel colour is £6), as I recently did with a glittery gold. There is one downside – every time I’m complimented on my nails I can’t help but brag that I do them myself, so I’ve ended up painting my sisters’ and friends' nails quite a few times...

Saving: I estimate the supplies that came with the kit will last about six months (although I obviously won’t need to re-buy the machine itself). Salon gels were costing £308+ a year (see what I mean about seeing it in one lump sum?) so yearly, I’d estimate a saving of £230+.

Facials

I swapped: Monthly facials (£30) and LED skincare rejuvenation (£50) for at-home facial Silk'n Handheld LED Device, £140, available at Amazon and the Yu Ling Jade Roller, £20, available at Cult Beauty

I had such bad acne as a teen that I ended up taking Roaccutane and although it worked, the acne left me with large red marks and scars. I was so unhappy with my skin that I began salon treatments, namely LED skin rejuvenation light therapy for the marks, and dermarolling for the pitted scars. It helped, but at £50 for a 30-minute session, it was also draining my bank account.

This LED device was the most expensive of my DIY purchases by far, but £140 was akin to just three treatments in salon, and I could use it twice a week. So in cost-per-use, I consider it a worthwhile purchase. Maybe I’m an experimenter at heart, but I was happy to do this at home, possibly because I’d already experienced the treatment. It has definitely reduced the redness and seems to have plumped my skin back up. The LED light triggers the skin’s own collagen and elastin fibres, strengthening them at their deeper layers. Actually, I don’t think I could go back to paying someone to do it for me.

Instead of monthly facials, I use the jade roller with the Avène Hydrance Intense Serum, £18, after treating my skin to the Lumene Sisu Deep Clean Purifying Mask, £24.90. This has become a lovely ritual, which I'm marking under self-care.

Saving: £30 per month for the facials (after the first month’s £20 jade roller purchase) and £300 for the LED treatments (usually £50 x 6) versus a £140 one-off payment.

Tanning

I swapped: Salon spray tans (£25+) for Isle of Paradise Self Tanning Water, £19, available at Boots

I am pale. Very pale. While I’ve embraced it, I do like the glow a spray tan gives you now and then. I never wanted to go from my usual porcelain skin to a deep bronze, so finding a salon that gave me a hint of 'caught the sun in the garden' rather than 'week in Marbella' was tricky. When I did, I rejoiced – but in the name of saving, it had to go.

I wrote off at-home tans long ago; I'm too slapdash with the application and hate smelling like a digestive biscuit. But I was drawn to Isle of Paradise 's body positive campaign, as well as the packaging and the fact it’s vegan, organic and cruelty-free. I opted for the Tanning Water in the lightest shade and I also went for the Priming Spray, £14.95, and Magic Self Tan Eraser, £17.95, which made the process feel a little more indulgent than usual. The good news: no awful smell. The great news: I’m a DIY tanning convert.

Saving: £23 initially this month, but £25 per month after the first month’s £52 purchase. These products will last me at least three months.

Skin Treatments

I swapped: Four-weekly dermarolling appointments for my own dermaroller, £8, available at Amazon

If you’ve never heard of dermarolling, essentially it’s a small roller with fine needles attached. When rolled over the face, the needles puncture the skin slightly, stimulating it to produce collagen to repair and regenerate. I paid £70 for a 30-minute session (you can find salons on Treatwell) but soon realised I was paying someone to roll a device over my face, which I could easily buy and do myself. You can buy dermarollers cheaply online, in 0.5mm, 1mm or 1.5mm needle sizes. I use 1.5mm now, but if you're a novice, I would start with 0.5mm and work up. It’s also worth buying an alcohol spray to ensure the roller is properly cleaned after each use. I love that after dermarolling, any product you apply is super effective, as it sinks into the skin at a deeper level. I am in no doubt this has completely changed the texture of my skin. My acne scars have almost completely gone. I've gone to the DIY side and I'm never going back.

Saving: £70 per month (after the first month’s roller purchase).

Haircut

I swapped: A salon fringe trim, typically £8, for a DIY cut. Okay, so here I’m only saving time, as fringe trims at my hairdresser's are actually free.

My hair grows so fast, I need to trim my fringe weekly. But making the trek to the salon every seven days? Ain't nobody got time for that. So rather than reaching for the kitchen scissors and hacking away until I looked like the woman in The Shining, I opted for these £7.99 scissors from Amazon and the gold looks pretty snazzy in my bathroom. Of course, as for everything in this world, there are plenty of YouTube tutorials to help you get it right.

My tips? Always cut your fringe when your hair is dry. Hold the scissors vertically and make little snips into the hair so it falls naturally. Never cut straight across, it’ll look uneven and blunt. As a rule, I never go shorter than half an inch below my eyebrows. You can always trim more off, but can’t add back. Also, once you know where you’re cutting, hold the hair with two fingers away from your face and half close your eyes – you don’t want to accidentally cut your eyelashes.

Saving: Technically nothing because, as I mentioned, my closest salon trims my fringe for free (a handful don't, though). In terms of time? A whole lot.

The verdict

I actually love my new routine as a one-woman beautician. I am completely sold on my new DIY way of life and I’ve saved time and a whole lot of money – between £400 and £500 this month. Call me lazy, but I don’t miss going to a salon at all. And while I can’t say I’ll never get a treatment ever again, right now I’m all set.

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Ka-ching! We've got a bank holiday this month – how will you be spending it?

If you haven't decided what extra curricular cultural stuff you want to do this August, we've done the legwork for you.

For some dancing in the sunshine (don't forget your sunscreen), check out Notting Hill Carnival or Brighton Pride – with Britney Spears headlining. For festival lovers, we hope to see you at Wilderness, with Nile Rodgers & Chic and Bastille on the main stage, plus a panel by Refinery29 on digital activism.

Whatever you are in the mood for, we've chosen some of the movies, exhibitions and events in August to make the most of the final days of summer.

Click through to see what we'll be up to...

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Are we the only ones who can't believe it's August? And yet, here we are. It's the last month of (official) summer. The final hoorah. The end of when-all-else-fails-wear-a-swimsuit season. It's also peak heat and humidity, which is fun when you're poolside, but not so thrilling when you're commuting to work five days a week.

That's why, this August, we're turning to dresses, jumpsuits, and, sorry not sorry, cycling shorts (in this heat, we'll take any piece of clothing made of sweat-wicking fabric). They're pieces that can be dressed up or down (yes, even cycling shorts), but most importantly, they're items that'll keep you feeling and looking cool. And if you don't believe us, allow the 31 outfits to show you how it's done.

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