Deleting online dating apps feels like one of the biggest tests of commitment in monogamous relationships today. Maybe that sounds silly. And maybe it shouldn't really matter if someone hasn't gotten rid of Tinder yet, especially when they've said they're exclusively dating you. But keeping the apps on our phones means something. "While some people might choose to keep their apps and not think much of it, there is an undeniable symbolism there," says Joanna Townsend, psychotherapist and Blush life coach. "Because let's face it: Millennials have a non-commitment culture that goes far beyond relationships." When we're constantly looking forward to our next job, next city, next Instagram post or side-hustle, then we tend to think of relationships as disposable, too, she says. Sometimes, people keep apps on their phone because their subconsciously looking toward their next relationship.
Sure, some people might just be so absentminded that they don't remember to delete their dating apps once they're in a monogamous relationship, but that's rare, says Susan Winter, New York City relationship expert. If people are clear about what they want in a relationship, they'll delete their apps once they've found someone and chosen to commit to them fully, she says. Keeping your apps around means keeping yourself open to the possibility of someone else, even if you have no intention to use them. And wanting that kind of possibility means that you're not totally focused on your current partner. "We can't expect commitment or growth without letting go of attachments and the what-if options that modern dating give us," Townsend says.
So it's no wonder that many of us worry about whether or not a new partner has deleted their apps. And many resort to sneaky ways of finding out. You might find yourself saying something like, "I realised I still had Tinder on my phone," (even though you deleted it a month ago). Then, you wait silently for your partner to say that they deleted their apps a long time ago. Or maybe you spend an hour every night scrolling through the apps, just to see if anything about your partner's profile has changed since you became A Thing. Even one photo out of place can seem like irrefutable proof that your new beau isn't all-in on your relationship.
But these sneaky tactics aren't great, Winter says. They can make you disconnected from and suspicious of your partner. So, it's much better to be direct about what you want. If you feel that you and your S.O. have reached a point where you should be getting rid of your apps, tell them. "I respect somebody who rolls up their sleeves and says, 'I'm 100% in. Let's see what's here,'" Winter says. And that's how she suggests you approach the topic of deleting your dating apps — with a statement instead of a question.
Instead of asking your partner how they feel about deleting their dating apps, tell them you want to delete yours. Making it about you tells your partner that you're broaching the subject because it's what you want, and not because you're looking for them to prove that they're committed to you. Winter suggests saying something like, "I like you. I'm not interested in seeing anybody else. And if that sounds good to you as well, then I'll be happy to close down my profile."
Maybe your partner will be ready to delete their apps, too, and maybe they won't. But regardless, being direct about wanting to delete your apps will put the discussion in the open. And that's much less stressful than scrutinising your partner's dating profiles every night.
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It's hard to describe the euphoria that comes after a really good run, but it's safe to say that it's easy to get hooked on it. You might find that you actually want to run every day to chase this runner's high. Or you might sign up for a race just as an excuse to log miles regularly. But while a daily jog might be what your mind needs, is running every day bad for your body?
"Running every day isn’t ideal, and it will not lead to the best path forward for realising your greatest running potential," says David Siik, creator of Precision Running, a treadmill running program at Equinox. Rest and regeneration, the process during which muscle tissue repairs itself after a workout, are just as crucial for becoming a better, healthier runner, he says. If you try to run every day, then you might delay this and possibly set yourself up for failure, mentally and physically. That said, Siik often jokes with his runners that, "Not running a day in your life is also terrible for your knees." So, he gets it.
There's a big difference and fine line between "consistent running" and "constant running," Siik says. "Consistent running is great for your body, building a strong, stable framework of joints, bones, ligaments and muscles — not to mention [improving] your cardiovascular health," he says. But if you run hard constantly, meaning you don't take rest days, then you'll be more susceptible to overuse injuries and mental exhaustion, he says. As a general rule, the American Council On Exercise recommends that you run for 20-30 minutes three days a week, and take rest days on the other days. Any more than that is often difficult to sustain, especially for beginners.
That said, there is a safe way to run daily, but you have to "really appreciate balance," Siik says. That means figuring out a schedule of light, medium, and challenging runs throughout the week, he says. Exactly what that looks like is different for everyone, though: "It all comes down to how much activity, and what intensity of activity, you are doing every day," he says.
If you love running, remind yourself that distance (or a day off) will always make the heart grow fonder.
During the "light" days, you can go on a short run, follow it up with a good stretch, and make sure you're really recovering and resting the remainder of the day, Siik says. On more intense days, you might want to consider taking an ice bath to speed up the recovery process and reduce inflammation, he says. To that same point, if you're going to run every day, you have to prioritise sleep to allow your body to get the down time it needs to keep healthy, he says.
Equally important to taking care of your muscles is making sure you're staying mentally "in the game" as well, Siik says. To prevent boredom, it's smart to mix things up by adding interval speed work, longer outdoor runs, and a few track workouts to create different experiences for yourself, he says. And if you really aren't feeling it, definitely take a rest day: "If you love running, remind yourself that distance (or a day off) will always make the heart grow fonder," he says. "A lot of people mentally burn out before their body does, losing their drive, purpose and even sometimes their joy of running."
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Now, Kesha — already an outspoken activist — is sharing her journey in documentary form. According to Billboard, Rainbow - The Film ( Rainbow is also the title of her extremely personal 2017 album) will chronicle Kesha's path towards healing. The film will drop on Apple Music August 10, on the anniversary of Rainbow 's release.
"Making Rainbow the album was such a therapeutic process, and given the opportunity to turn it into a three-dimensional piece of art has helped me find even deeper healing and catharsis," Kesha told Billboard of the new project. "I hope this film inspires others to never give up even if you feel full of hurt or lost, because after the storm comes a rainbow. Depression, anxiety and mental illness are things we all need to talk about more, and there is no shame in asking for help. Making the decision to work on yourself is the bravest thing you can do. I hope this film helps bring light and love to everyone."
While the documentary will feature behind-the-scenes footage, it's also unique in that it will feature "psychedelic vignettes" in addition to traditional documentary footage. The brief moments depicted in the trailer include Kesha with a bright bug crawling on her face, and another far-creepier one of her laying down, gagged, in a hospital bed. (Refinery29 has reached out to Kesha for comment.)
"You don't own me," Kesha screams out to a crowd of cheering fans in the trailer. No one owns Kesha, but the film is sure to let us in so we can get to know her better.
Check out the trailer below:
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Seating arrangements at a wedding. Laundry. Christmas turkey. Love Island. Donald Trump. Love. Grandchildren. Voicemail. Brexit. The colour of paint on a bedroom cabinet. Feminism. Birthday presents. The frequency of phone calls. Loose Women. Tomatoes. These are just some of the things grown women have fought about with their parents recently. Squabbling with our parents seems like something we should have grown out of by now, but a quick poll of women over the age of 20 reveals that we are never too old to scream "SHUT UP MUM" down the phone before we slam down the receiver.
If you fight with your parents – about anything from dinner plans to the concept of monogamy – please, take comfort in knowing that you are not alone. I asked people to get in touch on social media if they still fought with their parents and the response was astounding: so many of us are still disagreeing with the human beings who brought us into existence, often on a regular basis. A lot of women confessed that they feel like they revert to their teenage selves when they fight with their oldies, in a way they just don’t with anyone else in their lives. Fiona, 32, says she does. "Mainly we fight about them telling me what to do," she says. "Treating me like a child and not listening to my opinion. I am being treated like a child so I tend to act like one."
If you fight with your parents – about anything from dinner plans to the concept of monogamy – please, take comfort in knowing that you are not alone.
Elaine, 33, fights with her American parents because they voted for Trump. "The heated discussions come when I seriously question Trump’s actions, his irrational ramblings on Twitter and the overall mood of the country. I was just so disappointed when I found out that they both voted Trump. On election night and the morning after, I felt numb and cried non-stop for hours." Even though they fight often – and this is a very common attitude – she still very much wants her parents in her life. "I do and will always love my parents unconditionally."
Ashna, 24, still lives at home with her parents – which of course is happening more often these days. Living together can preserve the dynamic an adult had with their parents as a teenager, and that can cause conflict. "We argue – mostly my mum and I – every day. About everything: laundry, what time I come home, how much I use my phone, why I’m single, what I wear, what we’re having for dinner, my friends, whether we’ll get a cat. I don’t know how to stop acting like a teenager when they keep treating me like one."
Rosie, 32, fights with her parents about politics, feminism, their life choices and their divorce. She has accused her parents of reverting to their teenage selves – and there is great tension in their failure to be the parents she wishes she’d had. "My dream involves parents who are still together, who kiss secretly in the kitchen, apple pies, wine on tap, fireplaces, big family Christmases – the whole Martha Stewart deal. Every fight is a reminder that we don't have that, and then I think, they could drop dead tomorrow and that will have been the last thing you ever said. So that's a guilt trip."
Judgment, fear, insecurity, uncertainty, mortality and distance seem to motivate grown women to pick fights with their parents about the way they’ve chosen to live their lives – something they couldn’t vocalise as children but can now. Sandra, 38, fights with her parents about their life decisions. "As they age, we try to support them, although their attempts at maintaining privacy and independence mean they’re keeping secrets as teenagers would. Tensions also arise over time spent looking after grandchildren, or not helping out with grandchildren, as the case may be. It breaks my heart."
Bernadette, 31, has lots of "petty fights that are resolved very quickly" with her mother, but they seem to know where their limit is when it comes to things that cannot be unsaid. "It's almost like we know we can get really angry with each other because deep down we know we will always resolve it. The bond is so strong that no matter how far we stretch it, it won't break."
Some of the people who approached me hadn’t spoken to their parents in weeks, months or years. Some never intend to speak again.
This, of course, is not true of every family relationship. Some of the people who approached me hadn’t spoken to their parents in weeks, months or years. Some never intend to speak again. To find out what causes us to fight with our parents, even as grown women – from the trivial squabbles to the relationship-ending showdowns – I spoke to family therapist, Dr Shadi Shahnavaz.
"The relationship you had with your parents as a child tends to continue into adulthood," she explains. "So if you had a good attachment to your parents then, and you felt safe, secure, understood and a priority, then you should have the same love and respect now. If you didn’t feel heard or understood, you’ll grow up with a feeling of emptiness and that can lead to conflict when you’re older. That emptiness often translates to anger."
Repairing that relationship is possible, especially if you can convince your parents to turn up to family therapy so you have an umpire to take you through some important conversations. "It is in our DNA to want to love our parents," says Dr Shahnavaz, "so most of us want to try and patch things up." In family therapy sessions, she asks her clients to 'mentalise', or put themselves in the other person’s shoes. Then they talk about how their actions might affect the other person. Outside the therapy room, it might help to simply remind yourself to have empathy for your parents, think of them as complex individuals who have feelings and problems, and imagine how your behaviour might make them feel. It might also help to understand your childhood dynamic.
"We need to put a narrative around what happened to us as children, in order to get on as adults," says Dr Shahnavaz. "If you are constantly in conflict with your parents, it’s important to understand where that may have started. There could be relatively benign reasons for your fighting, but it might hint at something bigger. Often there is anger left over from a confusion or a secret the parents created when you were a child. Maybe there was an infidelity the child was aware of, or a tension between adults, and they couldn’t talk about it at the time but they want to now, or it’s coming out as other conflict."
So, what’s a simple strategy we can use to diffuse fights with our parents, no matter what they’re about? "Take a time out. When you feel anger building, find an excuse to leave the room. Walk away, go into another room and write down what’s upsetting you. Leave it for 20 minutes. Come back and look at what you’ve written once you’ve calmed down and often we can get rid of half of what’s there because it was written in anger. If there’s anything on that piece of paper that is still important to you, find a way of calmly raising it with your parents. Often I suggest people use email because it means your parents won’t be able to react defensively or in anger straightaway. A client of mine did this recently and her mother’s first reaction was 'How dare she', then she reread the email, calmed down and really listened to what was said and was able to address some of their problems."
Often our fights with our parents may not even truly be about paint colour, marriage, seating arrangements or turkey. They’re the result of residual tension and fear from our childhoods and we won’t truly stop fighting with our mamas and papas until we get some closure, compassion and understanding there.
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You know the saying, 'You don’t appreciate what you’ve got until it’s gone?' For me, it rang true when my beloved No7 lipstick in Siren, a matte, brick red shade that could sway even diehard fans of MAC’s Ruby Woo, was discontinued. No longer to be. Gone.
It was as reliable as some of my oldest friends, brightened my whole face, lasted all day (really) and provided me with an instant confidence boost. No matter what I was wearing or how I felt, applying it served as a much-needed pick-me-up.
I'd put finding out your favourite beauty product is being discontinued up there with stubbing your toe twice in the same place or missing your last train home. It’s frustrating, inconvenient and irksome. That's before I've touched on the hassle of having to search high and low for a replacement or paying double the price for the discontinued product on Amazon (as I may have done a few too many times). Really, who has the time, energy or patience?
MAC ’s Director of Makeup Artistry, Terry Barber, is sympathetic to our outrage and explains why sometimes the closest alternative just won’t do. "There’s a sense of rebellion which happens when consumers' beauty products are discontinued," he said. "When you know that it delivers, the idea of being palmed off with something new becomes of the highest annoyance." So why does it happen? Well, according to Barber, brands typically discontinue products to make space for new trends and better technologies. However, to consumers, the scope for innovation feels more like theft.
But that’s where social media comes in. Thanks to the likes of Instagram, Twitter and Facebook, consumers now have direct access to the biggest beauty brands on the planet, as Charlotte Libby, Global Colour Cosmetics and Fragrance Analyst at Mintel explained: "In the age of social media and instant information, consumers are feeling increasingly connected to the brands and companies they buy from." Alex Fisher, Mintel's Senior Beauty Analyst, expanded on this: "Consumers have higher engagement with beauty brand and retailer accounts than bloggers when it comes to social media sites, especially when they are highly visual such as Instagram or Snapchat," she said. "Brands use these accounts to promote new products, show off photo-worthy packaging, and announce collaborations. These kinds of posts in a consumer's social media feed then become an instant connection to their favourite brands and what they are doing."
It makes sense, then, that consumers would utilise this special connection, often leaving comments under brand posts, sending direct messages to companies and getting hashtags trending in a bid to bring back discontinued products they just can't imagine their beauty arsenals without. Due to customer demand earlier this year, MAC launched their Throwbacks collection, comprised of lipsticks and eyeshadows in their most popular shades from the '90s. According to Barber, its reintroduction provides a sense of nostalgia and comfort. "They’re like finding clothes at the back of your wardrobe that you’d forgotten about," he said. "You then realise they've gone full circle in being fashionable and they’re still completely relevant." His favourite pieces in the drop? "The lipstick in Marrakesh – it's a brick red which makes you look like a '90s Helmut Lang girl, and Shrimpton which is the perfect soft '60s beige and works perfectly with your natural lip colour."
Cosmetics giant Estée Lauder also understands the daunting and time-consuming process of hunting for a replacement, and in response, set up its 'Gone But Not Forgotten ' programme which delves into its beauty archives to recover products that have been discontinued within the last 24 months for consumers. The process is simple; in the UK, reclaiming your beloved product is just a phone call (0370 034 2709) or email (gonebutnotforgotten@estee-lauder.co.uk) away. Almost all of Estée Lauder’s brands participate, including: Estée Lauder, Bobbi Brown, Clinique, GLAMGLOW, Jo Malone London, MAC, Michael Kors Beauty, Origins, Smashbox and Tom Ford Beauty. Even better? The process generally takes no longer than seven days.
One of the biggest comeback stories is Giorgio Armani’s Face Fabric Second Skin Makeup, and it's largely thanks to Khloe Kardashian. Two years ago, the online beauty community despaired as the brand took the foundation off shelves; meanwhile Khloe took to her blog to lament its loss in a post titled "The Most Missed Products In Makeup History", writing: "Kendall and I heard it was going to be discontinued and I bought, like, 20 on Amazon. I literally have so many." While the brand couldn’t comment on Khloe’s influence, her 100 million followers and the united power of the consumer voice on Twitter was undoubtedly the leading factor in the matte foundation being brought back into shops fewer than two years later.
So the next time your find your favourite lipstick or failsafe foundation is being phased out, before you start stockpiling in a panic, tweet it out and DM brands directly before having a (completely justified) meltdown. Alas, all good things come to an end and below we have a list of discontinued products we’re still mourning. As a wise individual once said, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all...
This certified organic gel-to-oil cleanser was a staple on many a bathroom shelf up until it was discontinued in 2015. Massaged into dry skin, it melted down the most stubborn mascara, eyeliner and lipstick, and was a bargain at only £10. If you're listening, The Body Shop...
This is a classic example of a product that worked brilliantly but was confusingly taken off shelves and reformulated, leaving customers with a good but noticeably different version that never worked quite as well.
A personal favourite from Boots' makeup range, this was the perfect red. With warm undertones of orange and a semi-matte finish, it was a brilliant substitute for anyone who found MAC's Ruby Woo a little drying. I’m still not over it.
Dr Perricone MD launched the SUPER Range as a more affordable skincare collection aimed at a younger consumer. With an objective to be as natural as possible while remaining effective and results-driven, it was one of the first product ranges packed with high concentration formulas such as superfood-derived antioxidants. The 'Sun Kissed' tinted moisturiser was a standout product. RIP.
This was everything a lip gloss should be: non-sticky with a pretty sheer finish and available in 10 subtly tinted shades – it occupied a place in every teen's makeup arsenal.
The loss of Clarins' Extra-Comfort Cleansing Cream felt like a bereavement. Annoyance followed by stockpiling of said product ensued for fans of the shea butter-based cream. Calming the redness that comes with spots and brilliant for normal/oily skin types, it was a joy to use and had fans in beauty experts including Caroline Hirons and Sali Hughes. Clarins replaced it with their Extra-Comfort Anti-Pollution Cleansing Cream, £25, which is a good alternative, but can never live up to the original.
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Detox Kitchen, founded by Lily Simpson, has just released its second cookbook, Detox Kitchen Vegetables and this one is for the herbivores. The book has over 150 vegetarian recipes that look so tasty even the most kitchen-shy might feel inspired to don an apron. They say the recipes "celebrate the versatility and deliciousness of vegetables", we say even your most die-hard meat eater friends will be happy when you put these in front of them. The recipes free from wheat, dairy and refined sugar too.
Click through for three of our favourites...
Cauliflower tortillas Serves 4
These tortillas are great if you are feeding some hungry people. With five different toppings to mix and match, they are a fun dish to share. You can prepare the pickled onions, black beans and ranch dressing well in advance, so all you need to do at the last minute is fry the battered cauliflower and make the avocado salsa. Warm the tortillas through and you are good to go!
Ingredients
2 eggs 150g gluten-free flour 1 cauliflower, cut into small florets 12 small corn tortillas Fresh coriander, chopped, to garnish Lime wedges to serve
For the pickled onions 1/2 red onion, finely sliced Juice of 1 lemon 1 tsp honey
For the ranch dressing 150ml soya yoghurt A handful of fresh chives, finely chopped 1 tsp dried parsley 1 tsp dried tarragon 1/4 tsp garlic powder 1/4 tsp onion powder
For the black beans Rapeseed oil for frying 1 spring onion, chopped 1 garlic clove, finely chopped 1 red pepper, seeded and diced 400g tinned black beans, drained and rinsed
For the avocado salsa 1 avocado, peeled and diced 1 spring onion, sliced 1 large tomato, diced A small handful of fresh coriander, finely chopped 1 gherkin, finely chopped Flaked sea salt and cracked black pepper
Instructions
1. Prepare the pickled onions by placing the onion in a bowl with the lemon juice, honey and 1/2 teaspoon salt and leaving to soak.
2. In another bowl, mix together the ingredients for the ranch dressing. Set aside for about 20 minutes.
3. For the black beans, heat a little oil in a frying pan and fry the spring onion and garlic until the garlic is golden. Add the red pepper and black beans and cook on a low heat, stirring frequently, until the beans begin to break down. Remove from the heat and set aside.
4. Combine all the ingredients for the avocado salsa in a bowl and set aside.
5. Whisk the eggs and flour together to make a thick batter. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Add the cauliflower florets to the batter, turning them to make sure each is completely coated. Place a good glug of oil in a frying pan set over a medium heat. When the oil is very hot, add the battered cauliflower and fry until golden all over (do this in batches). Drain on kitchen paper.
6. Cook the tortillas in a dry frying pan to slightly brown on both sides and soften.
7. To assemble, smear the black bean mixture over the tortillas. Add the cauliflower and the avocado salsa and drizzle over the ranch dressing. Top with pickled onions and coriander. Serve with lime wedges for squeezing over.
Flatbreads topped with spinach and egg Serves 4
This is my take on a Florentine pizza. Instead of the traditional pizza base, I use flatbreads made from chickpea (gram) flour, which is coarser than normal flour and has a distinct nutty flavour that tastes, unsurprisingly, a lot like chickpeas. The bright green topping is made from spinach and butter beans, with a baked egg to finish.
Ingredients
A handful of caraway seeds 250g chickpea flour 125–175ml cold water 400g jarred butter beans, drained and rinsed 1 tbsp rapeseed oil, plus extra for frying 200g spinach 4 eggs Toasted pumpkin seeds to sprinkle Flaked sea salt and cracked black pepper
Instructions
1. Toast the caraway seeds in a small dry frying pan until fragrant. Tip into a bowl and add the flour and a pinch each of salt and pepper. Gradually mix in enough water to create a thick batter. Chill for 2 hours.
2. Preheat the oven to 200°C/Fan 180°C/Gas 6.
3. To make the spinach mixture, place the butter beans, oil and a pinch each of salt and pepper in a food processor and blitz until smooth. Add the spinach and blitz again. Set aside.
4. Heat a little oil in a 20cm frying pan. Spoon in about a quarter of the batter, spreading it out with the back of the spoon to create a large pancake. Once golden on the base, flip over and cook the other side. As the flatbreads are cooked, transfer them to a baking tray.
5. When all the flatbreads are on the tray, smear the spinach mixture over them. Crack an egg on top of each. Bake for 2–3 minutes until the eggs are cooked. Season with salt and pepper. Sprinkle with pumpkin seeds and serve.
Mushroom curry
Serves 2
Mushrooms add a hearty texture to a dish, which you need in a curry. They also have a subtle flavour that lets other flavourings do the talking. Here it is coconut, tomatoes, and fragrant cardamom and cloves that give this curry its distinctive fresh, floral taste.
Ingredients
Rapeseed oil for frying1 onion, diced 1 garlic clove, finely chopped 1 tbsp grated fresh root ginger 250g chestnut mushrooms, larger ones cut in half 1 tbsp curry powder 4 cardamom pods 2 cloves 4 large tomatoes, roughly chopped 1 red pepper, seeded and sliced 200ml coconut milk Juice of 1 lime 250g brown rice Flaked sea salt and cracked black pepper
Instructions
1. Heat a little oil in a sauté pan or saucepan over a medium heat and cook the onion, garlic and ginger until the onion has softened.
2. Heat a little oil in a frying pan and fry the mushrooms until slightly browned. Stir the mushrooms into the onion mixture along with the curry powder, cardamom pods and cloves. Cook gently for 1 minute.
3. Add the chopped tomatoes and red pepper and bring to a simmer. Cook for 10 minutes. Stir in the coconut milk and lime juice, and season with salt and pepper to taste. Simmer gently for a further 5 minutes to heat through.
4. While the curry is cooking, put the rice in a pan with a pinch of salt and cover with three times the amount of water. Bring to the boil, then simmer for 20–25 minutes until the rice is tender and fluffy. Drain.
5. Remove the cloves and cardamom from the curry. Leave to stand for 10 minutes before serving with the brown rice.
Last night, Kim Kardashian West posted an Instagram story of her sisters, Khloé Kardashian and Kendall Jenner, hanging out before their appearance at a charity poker game and talking about Kim's body.
"I'm really concerned, I don't think you're eating, you look so skinny," Kendall says.
"What!? Oh my god, thank you," Kim replies.
For four or five clips, Kim fishes for compliments about her weight from her sisters. Khloé adds that she "looks like a walking FaceTune doll," and says that Kim's diet must consist of celery, lettuce, and oxygen. Then, Khloé says that Kim's waist is "anorexic," and her arms are pin-thin.
The whole conversation is a massive bummer, especially given than just last month Kim received backlash for promoting an appetite-suppressing lollipop on Instagram. People on Twitter responded pretty strongly to this Instagram story, too. One person wrote, "Kim Kardashian being obsessed with her sisters telling her she’s so skinny she looks anorexic on her Instagram story makes me want to throw my phone into outer space." Others noted that it's not a compliment to call someone anorexic, and said the Kardashians' comments were damaging to viewers.
To joke about [anorexia] in any respect is not only wrong but really harmful and dangerous — especially when Kim has so many followers, and many are young, impressionable girls.
For starters, anorexia nervosa has the highest mortality rate of all mental illnesses, says Kristina Saffran, co-founder and executive director of Project HEAL, a non-profit organisation that offers recovery support for people suffering from eating disorders. Beat estimate that there are over 1.6 million people in the UK suffering from diagnosed or undiagnosed eating disorders and 0.9% of American women suffer from anorexia in their lifetime; the diseases is also three times higher among women than it is among men. "To joke about [anorexia] in any respect is not only wrong but really harmful and dangerous — especially when Kim has so many followers, and many are young, impressionable girls," Saffran says. There's no telling how many people saw Kim's Instagram story (probably millions), but the way she and her sisters talk about their bodies and flippantly throw around the word "anorexic" could definitely be triggering for some people who struggle with eating disorders.
Whenever you come across depictions of eating disorders in the media (whether it's a fictional representation on TV or a "real" situation on Instagram) and you find it triggering, there are a few things you can do to help you cope. First, it's always helpful to talk to someone, either a friend, family member, or person at a hotline, Saffran says. Often when people are faced with a trigger, their first reaction is to isolate or shut down. "Some people are like, It's not that big of a deal, I don't want to cause issues," she says. "But saying something to somebody is often enough to get it off your chest."
Also, remember that you don't have to watch anything if you don't want to. Of course this is tricky when you stumble across an Instagram story and aren't expecting it, but it's worth it to keep in mind that you can always close out of the app. Kim has a huge platform, but clearly she's not thinking about the potential harm she's causing with it. "[Kim] needs to be responsible as a public figure and a role model," Saffran says. Better yet, you might want to consider following some other body-positive accounts on Instagram that have a better message for you, she says. (Project Heal has a great account, to start.)
Ultimately, if this particular Instagram story isn't sitting well with you, honour your feelings and know that they are valid. One of the most harmful misconceptions about eating disorders is that people with them are underweight, Saffran says. The reality is that you can't tell when someone has an eating disorder just by looking at them, but clearly if Kim doesn't realise this then other people likely don't, either. "These are super harmful ideas to be thrown around and [they are] exacerbated by the fact that she has so many followers who look up to her and this can have a harmful impact on them," she says.
If you are struggling with an eating disorder, please call Beat on 0808 801 0677. Support and information is available 365 days a year.
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From strandlighting – dyeing just a pinch of hair strands for a subtle but seriously pretty sun-kissed effect – to Ribena hair dye (exactly what it says on the tin), there's no denying that summer has been abundant with picture-perfect hair colour trends.
But just when we thought we'd had our fill of them, another one cropped up on our radar – and it might just be the most wearable yet.
What does the clever technique entail? The clue, as ever, is in the name. Where highlights involve lightening the hair, often with bleach, and lowlights involve darkening your strands with colours that are a few shades deeper than your natural hair colour, midlights add a subtle and sun-kissed warmth, typically to the mid-lengths, connecting light and dark tones for an overall much more seamless finish.
If you've ever had harsh highlights or blocky lowlights, you'll know how jarring they can look up against your natural hair colour, but according to Matt Rez, Beverly Hills hair colourist and pioneer of the trend, which is now sweeping social media, midlighting is great because it creates a "blended yet high contrast" finish. Talking about the technique on Instagram, he wrote that it involves "blending the darkest base to the lighter and lightest strands, keeping tonal balance [from] root to ends, and not being too #ombré or #stripy."
The best part? Midlights aren't just for blondes. A quick search of the #midlights hashtag proves that both brunettes and redheads can get in on the action, too, but the key to getting it right is choosing a colour that's quite similar to your natural hair colour in order to bring everything together flawlessly.
Just like highlights and lowlights, some colourists employ foils while dyeing, but to keep the finish looking subtle and lived-in, many tend to midlight hair using the freehand technique – applying dye to strands using palms and fingertips – which is a little less 'perfect'. Just make sure your colourist uses an Olaplex treatment to preserve your hair's health and keep it shiny and beautiful.
We know what we'll be asking for at our next salon appointment...
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With firecracker earrings, monolid-accentuating eyepieces, and silver grillz, Ada Chen, an artist, jewellery maker, and Pratt Institute graduate, used her thesis collection, Made in Chinese America, to explore her (majorly underrepresented) identity as a Chinese American woman. "The collection was initially supposed to represent the most intimate aspects of my culture, but it became very politically charged in its development," Ada tells Refinery29. "The politics and culture complemented each other very well."
Fusing conceptual art and radical jewellery making, Ada’s work is a sarcasm-laden, searing political look at how Asian Americans are "undoubtedly treated as the other" – served with a heavy dose of humour. First up, her exploration of the frightening confrontations regarding language that are becoming more and more common under Trump’s presidency. Carving "Speak Chinese We're In America" into silver grillz, and "Speak English We're In America" into matching earrings, the pieces feel like a direct response to the circulating YouTube clips of white Americans demanding the same from people of colour in malls and on public transport.
Photo: Daniel Terna
"In a country where immigrants are significantly contributing to its livelihood, many conservative Americans love to tell people of colour who speak languages other than English to 'speak English' in order to make these POC feel like they don't belong," Ada tells us. "I even said it to my Cantonese-speaking friends once when I was young and hadn't realised that I thought this way because I didn't want to seem like I didn't belong myself. 'Speak Chinese' also relates to how my parents always asked me to speak to them in Chinese at home because losing one's ability to speak their home language is common. Losing this ability could also mean more difficulty in communicating with Grandma, who doesn't speak English."
Perhaps the most political piece of her collection, jewelled metal headbands that wrap around the head to pull the eyelids sideways, tackles the highly problematic side of the beauty industry that’s seeing a rise in Asian women altering their features to adhere to Western beauty standards. "This piece refers to how Westerners' favourite way to describe 'Asian' is to pull their eyes back to exaggerated slants. This mocking motion indicates, again, an otherness that Asians have negatively internalised, giving rise to beauty products like double eyelid tape and to double eyelid surgery to achieve a more Western look." She also created the piece to counter this growing industry, "to make a commodity that prompts Westerners to achieve Asian features instead."
The jewellery that’s taken Instagram by storm, however, are her Text Earrings, which detail in laser-cut acrylic two conversations she had with men. "The green Android texts are from a man that texted me 'Are you Asian or Chinese?' I didn't think it would get worse, but after I let him know that Chinese is one type of Asian – implying that his question did not make much sense – he then assumed that I could not have been from America," Ada explains. "The blue texts weren't actually from a text chat, but a short conversation I recalled word for word while I was in a Wall Street apartment with a man in a white Gucci teddy bear T-shirt. Asian women, like me, love it when non-Asian men treat us like exotic prizes…"
Photo: Courtesy of Ada ChenPhoto: Courtesy of Ada Chen
This fetishisation is nothing out of the ordinary for Ada and her friends. "All of my friends who are people of colour and I often experience some form of fetishisation. In regards to the specific fetishisation of Asian women, I'd say that we can barely walk outside without hearing 'Ni hao!' or 'Konichiwa!' when someone catcalls us." This treatment and 'othering' is horrendous, but sadly not shocking. Ada finds solace in the internet, the aesthetic of which is mirrored in her Text Earrings. "The internet absolutely inspires my work!" she says. "Not necessarily in terms of aesthetic, but in terms of how people create content for others to relate to. The way that people express themselves and respond to content on the internet should be an entire scientific study in itself."
For Ada, inspiration comes in the form of memes, jewellers Otto Künzli and Göran Kling, comedian Ali Wong, artist Tom Galle, her friends, her identity, objects in her house, and Chinese food, and she feels seen and heard by women like model and musician Rina Sawayama. "She does a freakin' amazing job at being unapologetically east Asian, openly talking about it in Western societies while also developing her art in her own style – not according to what people expect of an Asian girl."
Post-graduation, Ada's working as a bench jeweller for Satomi Kawakita Jewelry, but will be exploring "what 'Asian' means in all its nuances" in her future collections. "The term encompasses many cultures that don't actually identify with each other, and yet they are somehow grouped together," she says. We can't wait to see – and wear – the radical jewellery she creates next.
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It may be 2018, but girls in the UK are still frequently missing school because they can't afford sanitary products. More than 137,700 10 to 18-year-olds missed out on their education last year because of period poverty. That's roughly 7% of schoolgirls missing an average of five days of school in a year because of something that most people with periods don't need to think twice about: whether they should spend money on food or sanitary pads.
Now, the topic is being used to inspire art. A group of prominent Instapoets have taken on the issue, penning works about the stigma surrounding periods and the shame linked to period poverty and posting them on social media. Poets including Nikita Gill, Hollie McNish, Greta Bellamacina and Jen Campbell, and bloggers including Grace Victory, have written bespoke verses as part of the #EndPeriodPoverty campaign. Always, which is spearheading the initiative, will donate a pad to The Red Box Project for every like or comment the Instapoems receive. There couldn't be an easier way to show your support for a good cause. Click through to read the poems.
"It is horrifying to learn that thousands of school children in the UK regularly miss school due to the lack of basic hygiene products," wrote Nikita Gill. "A part of the reason why period poverty is such an issue today is due to the lack of conversation around it. Young children face stigma and shame at an early age. According to research, children who experience period poverty are more likely to be bullied, as so can have mental health issues and low confidence as an adult." She went on to clarify that trans men and non-binary people have periods too.
"Stop the shame around period poverty! I’m campaigning to help #endperiodpoverty after it was revealed that females who experienced the issue believe it has a direct effect on their confidence and happiness in the future," said Greta Bellamacina. "All women deserve to be free of the stigma and shame attached to periods and period poverty."
"When you’re on your period, you should still be able to attend school," wrote Jen Campbell. "Thousands of children and teenagers regularly miss school because they cannot afford sanitary protection and research shows that this affects more than just their education. Over half (52%) of those who have experienced period poverty believe it has had a direct impact on their success, confidence and happiness as an adult. Being able to stay in school is important not only for education, but for mental health and confidence."
"Make a difference today. By liking and commenting on this post you are helping to donate a pad to support girls across UK who can't afford sanitary products – because not everyone is as lucky, we need your help," said Natasha Dubalia. "Writing and creating this post has been incredibly emotional for me, I contacted many girls whose stories had really touched my heart. Trust me, they need us."
"It’s time to stand with us and fight against period poverty— many think this problem only effects women in third world countries, but today we turn our eyes to the UK and Ireland," wrote Rclift. "Some heartbreaking facts I didn’t realise were so very real for women in England, Ireland, Northern Ireland, Scotland, and Wales: Over half of women who have experienced period poverty believe it has had a direct effect on their success, confidence and happiness; Thousands of UK girls regularly miss school because they cannot afford sanitary protection and sadly research shows that this has more than just an effect on their education; Six in 10 females who have experienced period poverty were bullied at school, leading to low confidence as an adult, anxiety or depression."
"Research has shown that thousands of girls across the UK are regularly missing school because they can’t afford sanitary wear, and now, over half of women who have experienced period poverty believe it has had a direct effect on their success, confidence and happiness as an adult," said Luna Leigh. "Having access to period protection shouldn’t be linked to your bank balance."
"Latest research shows that thousands of school girls miss school because they can’t afford sanitary products, and that this shame and experience can have a ripple-effect on a girl’s mental health, success and confidence in the future," wrote Grace Victory.
"This is such a great cause that is impacting so many young women, so I am delighted to be involved with this campaign and to use my creative voice to help fight the shame surrounding this hugely important issue of period poverty," said Fenella Fox.
"[Always] asked me to write a poem about period poverty, and whilst I've been fortunate enough to never have experienced it, thousands of UK schoolgirls regularly miss school due to a lack of access to sanitary protection," wrote Lucy Moon.
"Thousands of school girls are missing out on education due to lack of sanitary protection, something most of us don’t even think twice about," said El Russell. "And now it has been revealed that women who have experienced period poverty as girls are likely to grow up and face anxiety or depression. It’s so important that we raise awareness and give our support to these girls who suffer shame and struggle due to period poverty."
"I wrote a poem called ‘There’! Growing up can be a slog, but there were some things that I just didn't have to worry about when I was at school," wrote Leena Norms. "A lot of things get my goat, but one of them that has been blowing my mind recently is learning that thousands of school kids in the UK regularly miss school because of period poverty – literally not being able to afford pads, tampons or other basic sanitary protection essentials."
"Thousands of UK girls regularly miss school because they cannot afford sanitary products and something needs to be done, because experiencing period poverty can affect a girl’s mental health and confidence later in life," said Angela Ainnes.
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Leftfield indie flick of the year, Sorry To Bother You, *still* doesn’t have a UK release date, despite buzzing opening weeks in America, comparisons to 2017 smash hit Get Out, and a 94% Fresh score on Rotten Tomatoes. The upside to this painful waiting game is that we have a head start in appreciating the uncompromising style of Tessa Thompson’s character, Detroit, and can get even more excited to see her in action.
In Boots Riley’s magic-realist office drama – which also functions as a satire about race in America that has already sparked debate about the concept of 'white voice' – Detroit is a performance artist trying to figure out how to embed her activism into her work. Her look is an expression of that tussle, with hair that is miraculously both grey and rainbow-coloured, and bright flashes of makeup already picked up by fans on social media. It was inevitable that attention would soon turn to every aspect of her appearance.
After watching the film (in the US), one fan tweeted: "I really hope @TessaThompson_x got to keep her wardrobe from #SorryToBotherYou, each shirt was better than the last!" Tessa retweeted the question and answered that she had, in fact, bought all the shirts herself – from her "favourite store", the lesbian-run Otherwild – and so she will indeed be keeping every last one.
You may already be familiar with Otherwild. The LA store was the first to make "The Future Is Female" slogan tees and sweatshirts, in collaboration with the originator Liza Cowan and Instagram account @H_e_r_s_t_o_r_y, which had posted Liza’s picture. (This was long before Cara Delevingne made her own, unauthorised version). Since then, Otherwild has expanded its range of feminist, inclusive T-shirts, with rad slogans that include: "The Future Is Female Ejaculation", "The Patriarchy Is A Pyramid Scheme", "Gender Is A Drag", "SISTERESISTER", "Gay Power" and "DYKE", as well as illustrations including the Nip Tee (with two breasts rubbing nipples), and the Venus Tit Tee (two female sex symbols, ♀).
And while Detroit appears to be in a relationship with Lakeith Stanfield’s character Cassius (a man) in the film trailer, her choice of lesbian sex-celebrating T-shirts has, of course, been interpreted with reference to her relationship with Janelle Monáe, of which Tessa has said they "love each other deeply".
After catching the film themselves, the team at Otherwild posted images of Tessa wearing their shirts (as Detroit) on Instagram, with the elated caption, "What a thrill to see @sorry2botheryou yesterday! @ tessamaethompson shines bright... and the film co-stars many of our tees … Go see the movie!" Which we will, the very second it is released for UK audiences.
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Last month, Paris Hilton found herself in a familiar position, standing in front of a crowd of goading paparazzi decked out in bejewelled sunglasses and a shiny silver mini dress. But the conversation they were having was certainly not familiar to those who may think they know the heiress: “President Trump is going to sign the executive order to help the immigrants,” a voice yells out to her amidst the incessant pop of camera flashes. “Do you think that’s going to help?”
Hilton, who’s been the subject of paparazzi lust for almost two decades, is quick with an outspoken opinion: “He better help them, because this is not right what they’re doing to these children and their families ... No one should be separated from their family. I’m disgusted,” she replies, turning her head to the side, revealing the weighty gold Gucci logo emblazoned on the arms of her glasses. She doesn’t stop signing autographs, but then looks directly into the camera and tells the world (or perhaps it’s her former family friend, Donald Trump*, to whom she is primarily speaking): “People come to America for the American Dream.”
This is TMZ’s contribution to the national debate over Trump’s family separation policy, and it feels both like a throwback to the tabloid-fuelled chintziness of aughts-era Hollywood and a moment that could only occur in 2018. It is a surreal exchange for a litany of reasons, not least because of our collective understanding of who the woman in the sunglasses talking about immigration is: Paris Hilton is an icon not just of the 2000s, but of a certain widely held image of what inherited wealth, undeserved fame, and American excess looks like. There was her reality show The Simple Life, which followed Hilton and then-BFF Nicole Richie as they abandoned their lives of leisure to go live and work alongside “regular” Americans. Then there was also the numerous film and TV appearances, the singing career, the product lines, and the constant coverage by tabloids and early blogs. Through all this she crafted a persona — and, according to our conversation with her, that’s exactly what it was — of a spoiled, air-headed, platinum blonde princess, complete with the fake baby voice and sugary pseudo-sexuality that implies.
“I just got stuck with that character because people don't know me in real life or haven't spoken to me,” Hilton tells Refinery29. “They assume it's just the baby voice and you know, 'what's Walmart?' and silly things. I would say that's not really how I am, but I was just trying to be entertaining for television.”
At 37, she’s been in and out of the spotlight for nearly two decades, and seems to be emerging now with a concerted effort to shake the image of the prodigal rich girl. How much it’s actually worked is in the eye of the beholder. “I think now I've really proven myself,” she argues. “With the success of my fragrances, then all my other 19 product lines, and all the big deals I'm doing, and real estate. I'm finally being taken seriously as a businesswoman and empire.”
Her grandfather has pledged to donate 97 percent of his £1.7 billion fortune to charity when he dies, Paris currently has a rumoured net worth of around £225 million.* Her perfume empire alone is worth an estimated £1.1 billion. That it’s taken this long for Hilton to feel that she’s earned it says as much about the magnitude of her ambitions as it does about our fascination with money and how those who have it behave. Hilton was arguably the first person to turn her mere privileged existence into a lucrative career, a model copied today by many, but most famously mastered by Kim Kardashian (Paris’ old right hand) and her sisters. This year alone, Hilton released her 24th fragrance, launched a skincare line, and premiered a show on Viceland — of all places — where she examines the lives of young people attempting to “make it” in Hollywood. She also still DJs for nightly fees that, in 2014, were reported to be as high as £750,000 per night, and dropped a new single titled “I Need You” earlier this year, though unfortunately it failed to live up to the success of her 2006 cult hit “Stars Are Blind.”
Yes, I came from Hilton hotels, but I've parlayed it into such a huge business that even my grandfather said to me, 'I used to be known as Barron Hilton. Now I'm known as Paris Hilton's grandfather.’
For all of today’s conversations about the spectrum of privilege and where certain people get placed on it, America either loves, or loves to hate, rich people. (Bonus points if they’re beautiful women with recognisable last names.) In thinking about Hilton, it’s hard not to call to mind another very privileged, very ambitious young woman: Ivanka Trump. In addition to being friends since childhood, both have monetised their moneyed backgrounds and our hunger for a piece of their world to sell a watered-down, mass-produced version of luxury. Paris’s numerous fragrances, like Ivanka’s now-defunct clothing line, are much less valuable because of the products themselves as they are because of the names behind them.
Hilton herself seems to understand this, saying of her new scent: “I really, I really want it to represent me and have my fans have a piece of me.” Nevermind that it smells like one of 2018’s least popular scents (roses), and has aggressively ignored the minimalist, millennial-friendly packaging her celebrity peers have adopted — Hilton’s confidence in her product reflects a confidence that rich-bitch wealth will always be relevant.
Indeed, even as her own star power has waxed and waned, the enormity of her legacy has come into focus: She is there in the fashion influencers filling your feed with their spon con. She is there among the stars of various reality television franchises, as they fling insults and beverages about on national TV. She is there among the socialite-turned-DJs-turned-fashion-designers that populate the most rarefied corners of the world, like Harley Viera-Newton and Alexa Chung.
“Ever since I was a teenager, I wanted to be independent. I didn't want to have to ask my family for anything,” Hilton explains of her attitude toward money and privilege. “Yes, I came from Hilton hotels, but I've parlayed it into such a huge business that even my grandfather said to me, 'I used to be known as Barron Hilton. Now I'm known as Paris Hilton's grandfather.’”
When asked about the recent controversy surrounding Forbes magazine’s designation of Kylie Jenner, whom Hilton has known since birth, as “self-made,” she was adamant that she agrees with that characterisation — and feels it applies to herself as well. “I think of myself and anyone who does business as being self-made. Everything I've done, I've done on my own, and yes, I do come from a last name, but there also are many children I know that come from families who, you know, take the choice of not doing anything with their lives.”
I think of myself and anyone who does business as being self-made.
“I work harder and travel more than any CEO I’m friends with,” she continued. “The same with Kylie. I think any woman who is going to get into business and be an entrepreneur and make a big name and brand for themselves, they are self-made.”
Indeed, Hilton and Jenner probably do work harder and travel more than any CEO. Because while a traditional CEO is responsible for a particular product, what Hilton and Jenner are selling is more ephemeral and all-encompassing. The CEO of L’Oreal or MAC doesn’t have to prove that their entire existence is consistent with and can be distilled into a $30 lip kit or a $20 perfume. Perhaps the fact that this is a real career path is a small part of the reason why the American Dream to which Hilton refers in the video increasingly feels like just that — a hallucination from another plane of consciousness. If the American Dream, a flawed premise in and of itself, is about pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, what Hilton and Jenner have done is more like standing for a long period of time in Louboutins. It’s impressive, but you had to have the $1,000 down payment to get there.
Paris Hilton is not self-made, of course. But it’s not hard to imagine how people like Hilton, Jenner, and Kardashian — who recently echoed a sentiment similar in an interview with Refinery29 — are able to conceive of themselves as such. They are indeed a different breed from those born into immense privilege who make no attempt to move forward on the opportunities afforded to them. Hilton’s hustle is impressive, but it doesn’t make her self-made in the way that someone like Cardi B or Rihanna is. You can be hard-working and break barriers without being able to define yourself as self-made.
Hilton’s legacy is a complicated one predicated not just on a cultural obsession with rich girls, but on a sexist desire to tear apart and vilify them in a way that rarely occurs with men of similar means. Why are we so obsessed with the Kardashian sisters and not the Brant brothers?
When we spoke to Hilton over the phone, she sounded cool and self-assured. She has, in case you weren’t aware, dropped the infamous little girl voice. Surprisingly though, like many who came of age in an era before smartphones and social media and celebrities with teams of people meticulously crafting every inch of their facades, she also holds a degree of nostalgia for that more freewheeling time. “I can’t imagine if I had social media back then,” she confesses, imagining how much more difficult her fame would have been to cultivate.
“I didn't have all these tools. I didn't have an agent, no publicist, no manager. I’m going out in public and just being myself and everyone used to say like, ‘Oh my God, famous for being famous’ and like it was almost a bad thing, but now I feel like it's a whole new formula that has really inspired this whole new generation.”
Despite this, Hilton boasts 9.3 million followers on Instagram, and 17.2 million on Twitter. There are fan accounts out there dedicated not just to her, but to her pets. She’s not Kim Kardashian, who has 114 million Instagram followers, nor is she of the mould of Chrissy Teigen and Busy Phillips, two celebrities beloved for their highly relatable social media content. But people don’t follow Paris Hilton for the great content she’s going to post. They follow her because she’s Paris Hilton.
Critics have said that The Simple Life, the premise of which was dreamed up by Fox execs, functioned to mock the denizens of the small towns it featured, but one could just as easily argue that Hilton and Richie were the butt of the joke. It also flattened Hilton into the one-dimensional character that it appears the "real" her has spent the past decade struggling to emerge from. It is unavailable for streaming on any of the major sites, but exists in perpetuity on YouTube. What is supremely ironic about Hilton and her attempt to return to the spotlight is that the thing that initially beamed her into our living rooms was that she was such an effective agent in showcasing the great American class divide, a massive crater which has only widened in the decade following.
Indeed, Paris Hilton is truly not self-made. But more than her family’s wealth or her well-known last name, we made her.
While Twitter didn’t exist back then, tabloids and early blogs did, and as Hilton’s star rose, so too did the level of scrutiny placed on her. In 2004, just as Hilton was about to become a household name, her ex-boyfriend Rick Salomon released a pornographic video of her. Today, the video would be understood as revenge porn, but back then, it was somehow understood as attention-seeking on Hilton’s part. In The American Meme, a 2018 documentary she appeared in, she compared the ordeal to being raped and said she “literally wanted to die.” While illicit celebrity tapes still exist and get leaked, it’s thankfully no longer socially acceptable (in most places, at least) to slut-shame the women victimised by them. If anything, thanks to the ability of the internet to magnify a more diverse range of voices, people are quick to call out such injustices with hackers serving jail time.“It's incredible what is happening right now with this movement,” Hilton says of contemporary feminism. “I think women can take over the world. Even though there's been so many awful things that have happened and scary things, it's really just changed the whole climate, and what people know women are capable of.”
But there’s a big caveat: We know the capabilities of some women, the ones who have been provided with the advantages necessary to show us what they can do. Which is maybe why Hilton’s rebranding as a serious business woman feels complicated at best. What’s surprising, though, is that even now, her understanding of a concept like being self-made still seems so limited.
Nevertheless, critics would do well to remember that Hilton wouldn’t have become famous if we hadn’t wanted her to be. Indeed, Paris Hilton is truly not self-made. But more than her family’s wealth or her well-known last name, we made her.
And to hear her tell it, she’s grateful: “I feel so proud of my fanbase and how loyal they are. The relationship I have with my fans, they're like my family. They call themselves the Little Hiltons, it's such a loyal fanbase. They really can relate with me.”
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What proportion of the emoji on your keyboard do you actually use? Chances are, you've never used the "aerial tramway" or the input symbol for Latin capital letters, and you probably didn't realise there was a passport control emoji. Suffice to say that Unicode, the body that decides which emoji appear on our keyboard, has created a great deal of pointless symbols.
But while there appears to be little (if any) demand for these emoji, one highly sought-after symbol has been completely overlooked: the transgender flag. The pink, blue and white Transgender Pride flag, created by American trans activist and author Monica Helms in 1999, was one of the most-requested emoji of last year (and the previous year), so it was only a matter of time before someone started a dedicated campaign for one.
Enter: Charlie Craggs. The trans activist, author and founder of Nail Transphobia (and Nail It) is spearheading a new campaign, Claws Out For Trans, alongside brand strategy consultancy Revolt, calling out Unicode for introducing a lobster emoji this year while long overlooking the transgender flag.
In protest, Craggs is calling on people to sign her petition and to use the lobster emoji as the unofficial transgender emoji until the flag is introduced. Not only does the use of the lobster highlight the random way emoji get chosen; by happy coincidence, it turns out the crustaceans are gynandromorphs, meaning they have both male and female characteristics.
"So until we get our flag we’re hijacking the lobster. Making it the unofficial, official trans symbol," the group says, "to show how much a real trans symbol would be used."
Images and symbols matter – a fact that Unicode seems to acknowledge, given that it has dramatically increased the diversity of demographics represented on our keyboards in recent years with a broader range of skin tones, hair colours and a more progressive presentation of gender – so it's about time the trans community saw themselves represented too.
Photo: Courtesy of Nail It-Claws out for Trans
"Emoji play such an important role in the way we communicate today," a Nail It spokesperson told Refinery29 UK. "Having representation in this platform is vital to give representation to a community that has previously struggled to have its voice heard. A trans flag emoji would bring the transgender community into the conversation, which can only have a positive impact on people’s understanding and attitudes."
Craggs told us that flags, unlike soup cans, toboggans and many of the other emoji Unicode has approved, "represent community and are a way to express your identity, connect with others who share that identity and feel part of a community." She continued: "It's super important for people to feel represented and included."
Photo: Courtesy of Nail It-Claws out for Trans
As the Change.org petition text reads: "Emojis are a way for the world to connect, and trans people shouldn’t be left out of the conversation. Unicode granted the Lobster emoji proposal, which argued that people suffered ‘frustration and confusion’ at having to use a shrimp or crab emoji instead of a lobster. Imagine if that was your gender.
"Surely we deserve the same rights you have afforded crustaceans? Especially as a community so often faced with violence and discrimination. Please give our trans mothers, brothers, fathers, sisters and friends the love they deserve."
Nearly two dozen women in red gowns resembling the title characters of The Handmaid's Tale rallied in front of the Department of Homeland Security's Cybersecurity Summit in New York City, which Vice President Mike Pence and DHS Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen were expected to attend.
"We're here today because Mike Pence is bringing a real Handmaid's Tale to America," an organiser loudly proclaimed to the crowd gathered in front of the Alexander Hamilton US Custom House on Tuesday. "He's a Christian fascist. He's a theocrat. This couldn't be more fitting."
The protest was organised by the group RefuseFascism.org, which also staged a handmaids protest earlier this month in Philadelphia, PA. The vice president, known for his extreme anti-abortion and anti-LGBTQ+ views, has concerned progressive activists since he was tapped to be President Donald Trump's running mate in 2016. His religious beliefs — Pence has said, "I'm a Christian, a conservative, and a Republican, in that order" — have drawn inevitable comparisons to the religious leaders of the Republic of Gilead, the totalitarian state at the centre of Margaret Atwood 1985's dystopian novel.
"[The Trump-Pence administration] is a regime that's shredding the rule of law and seeking to radically remake society, transforming the way this country is governed," Samantha Goldman, one of the organisers, told Refinery29. "Fascism relies upon and foments xenophobia, misogyny, and white supremacy. You see the heart of the Christian fascist movement in this regime."
Goldman, like most of the women who gathered at the protest, are convinced that the administration is a threat both domestically and globally. But despite the heavy references to Gilead, she avoided making comparisons to other countries that are currently ruled by dictators and that are seeing the same type of human rights violations she fears might take place in the US.
Passersby stared at the women as they waited to begin a symbolic procession carrying children's shoes, representing the thousands of migrant kids who were separated from their families under the Trump administration's zero-tolerance policy.
"Thank you so much for what you're doing here," a young man told Lucas Berd, one of the protesters, before scurrying off from the protest.
Berd, 35, told Refinery29 that no matter how small of a protest it could be, this type of action can create progress. "I'm hopeful and optimistic that this administration can be ended," Berd said. "But it does take people like these individuals gathering today to come out and have the courage to speak up and to commune."
When asked what specific policies of the Trump administration were concerning, Berd responded: "I would say everything. It's every aspect since he took office. The list goes on and on."
Photo: TIMOTHY A. CLARY/AFP/Getty Images.
But not everyone was in favour of the protest. A middle-aged man approached some of the protesters, repeatedly saying: "Donald Trump is a nice man, guys! He is a nice guy!"
The handmaids pretty much ignored him. Some of the RefuseFascism.org supporters offered passersby flyers and stickers provided by the organization, but many New Yorkers and tourists breezed past them.
That's not to say that the handmaids were invisible. The curious took pictures and chatted among themselves, with a few venturing to thank the protesters for their work.
Juana Lopez, one of the women in costume, said Pence's extreme religious beliefs worry her. "For him, looking at the Bible literally, [he thinks] that is the kind of rule that should exist in this country," she told Refinery29. "Throughout history, the ruling class has used the Bible to enslave people, to make them think that's their place."
Lopez also pointed that the rise of Trump and Pence has historical roots. "America is a country built on genocide, on slavery," she said. "Separating children from their families [like Trump did] is not new. It's something that has existed in this country."
The women ended up doing a small procession carrying and laying down the children's shoes — bright pink rain boots, sneakers, tiny sandals — representing the migrant children that are still separated from their families.
"Nielsen and Pence will be there at the DHS conference. We want to make the point that this is a regime using the Bible to justify the stealing of children and ripping apart of immigrant families," Goldman, the organiser, told Refinery29. "That was an important statement for us."
While some press reports said there were a hundred protesters, the number of handmaids and supporters was much more smaller. At times, it felt as if there were nearly as many members of the press as there were protesters.
The event also served as a business opportunity for some local entrepreneurs. As the handmaids placed the children's shoes in front of the Custom House, a woman stood under the shade of the plaza's trees with a table full of pins for sale. The #Resist motif adorned most of them.
Refinery29 reached out to Vice President Mike Pence for comment. We'll update this story if we hear back.
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I have a big, loud family. The kind of family that still gathers for reunions every year. My grandfather, his seven brothers and sisters, plus their kids, and their kids' kids, and the kids of their kids' kids spend one weekend in October playing card games, swearing at each other, and eating a truly repulsive thing called goop (a mix of mustard, mayonnaise, ketchup, and cheddar cheese served on top of hot dogs). The whole thing is kind of overwhelming even for those of us who were born into it. But this year, I'm facing the possibility of bringing my new girlfriend into the mess.
I live far enough from my parents that I only go home a few times a year. So my girlfriend hasn't met my parents yet, and my mum is itching to get a good look at the woman dating her daughter. Since the only other time I'll go home this year is during Christmas, the family reunion seems like the best time for a meet-up. Except, introducing my girlfriend to my whole, conservative family all at once also seems like a terrible idea. I want my girlfriend to meet my family, but I'm worried about the timing. And I'm sure that I'm not the only one who feels that kind of reluctance. Weddings, funerals, family holidays, family vacations, graduations, and other high-stress events can feel like the wrong time to bring a new partner along. But, is there really a "bad" time to introduce your partner to your parents? Or is it best to just rip off the Band-Aid, no matter the circumstances?
According to couples' therapist Jean Fitzpatrick, ripping off the Band-Aid is a bad idea. You shouldn't introduce your partner to your parents just to do it, and definitely not without considering the circumstances. "Bad or good times vary depending on the cast of characters," Fitzpatrick says. What she means is that the specifics of the meeting make a huge difference.
Consider my family reunion. My parents have a sign hanging in their kitchen that says, "I love you more than biscuits and gravy," which (for the uninitiated) means that they're VERY Southern. If my girlfriend were vegan (she isn't), bringing her to a big, Southern family reunion where there's sure to be secret bacon grease in everything (including the vegetables) and no one gives a thought to having a vegetarian option would probably be a bad idea, Fitzpatrick says. Not only would she have nothing to eat, but she'd have to answer awkward questions from about 20 of my uncles (many of whom raise cattle for slaughter) about what the hell is wrong with her. Sounds super fun, right?
"If your whole family runs a marathon every year and your partner is a couch potato, that’s a bad time to meet."
So, even though there aren't cut-and-dry guidelines for what makes a "bad" time to meet the parents, "bad" times do exist. As with anything else in your relationship, the right timing depends on you and your partner (plus, your parents). "If your whole family runs a marathon every year and your partner is a couch potato, that’s a bad time to meet," Fitzpatrick says. "Unless your partner gets into providing water bottles and cheering at the finish line."
If your partner is an introvert, maybe don't introduce them to your entire family at once. If your family is religious and your partner is an atheist, then a religious holiday probably isn't the best time for them to meet. If your family is used to only meeting people you're serious about, then don't bring home someone you just started seeing. "That might lead to awkward moments," Fitzpatrick says. In other words, put a little thought into the first meeting, and make sure you're setting your partner up for as comfortable a trip as you possibly can.
If an awkward situation is unavoidable — like, if you have to go to a family funeral and your partner wants to support you, or your partner's flight is cancelled and they have to spend an unexpected night at your parents' home (true story: it happened to me) — then do your best to help everyone feel comfortable. "Your partner may feel awkward or overwhelmed," Fitzpatrick says. "In situations like these, traditional courtesies can be very helpful to everybody." In the case of a funeral, bring along a casserole or some other dish and let your partner hand it to your parents. And in the case of a spontaneous visit, Fitzpatrick suggests that you and your partner help with setting the table and cleaning up after meals. Small actions can go a long way.
But if you're not faced with something unexpected, choose a time when your parents and your partner will all be in the best mood. Meeting the parents will always be awkward, but you have it in your power to make sure your partner doesn't run into unnecessarily stressful situations. You know your family, and you know your partner. So do both a solid and choose a setting where everyone is most likely to get along. If your partner doesn't understand why you don't want to bring them to your cousin's bar mitzvah, explain. "It’s not that you don’t want your partner to meet your parents; you want the best possible meeting," Fitzpatrick says. And then, plan an alternate meeting as soon as you can, so your partner knows you really mean what you said.
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Alright, y'all: Rumor had it that, after 30 years, Anna Wintour was officially stepping down from her role as editor-in-chief of Vogue. But on Tuesday, in a tweet from Condé Nast's official Twitter account, the company's CEO, Bob Sauerberg, set the record straight.
"Anna Wintour is an incredibly talented and creative leader whose influence is beyond measure," he wrote. "She is integral to the future of our company's transformation and has agreed to work with me indefinitely in her role as @voguemagazine editor-in-chief and artistic director of Condé Nast."
But there you have it! No if's, and's, or but's — Nuclear Wintour is here to stay. After yet another — *breathes ASMR-style sigh of emotion into mic* — cycle of fashion hearsay reverberated through the Interweb as Vogueannounced several key departures, it seems the inboxes of Condé Nast spokespeople have overflown, causing the company to respond to the resurgence of the decade-old gossip. The confirmation follows even more Vogue rumours, those of a Beyoncé takeover for the September issue — out any day now — and that photographer Tyler Mitchell lensed its cover (which would be the first time a Black photographer has shot the cover of the magazine in its 126-year history).
We've reached out to Condé Nast to make sure — once and for all — that Wintour will be working at the magazine until (what sounds like) the end of time, so we'll update this story if/when we hear back. Until then, continue to gird your loins!
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Most of us already treat our morning coffee with a near-religious kind of reverence , so is turning to a healing crystal in the a.m. all that different? For the record, we'd never expect you to part with your java, but an energising crystal could be a welcome addition to your morning routine.
In the same way that crystals can imbue your home with a sense of protection or open your heart up to new relationships, so, too, can they help you feel a little more prepared — and, more importantly, awake — for the day ahead. It's simply a matter of knowing which ones can get the job done.
Read on to discover which crystals you should grab for a needed boost in the mornings.
Pyrite
Despite its nickname, "fool's gold," pyrite is anything but disappointing. In her healing crystal guide, Crystal Bliss, Devi Brown writes that this shiny stone can increase the user's confidence and willpower, and may even inspire them to confront their fears. Plus, she adds, if you keep it next to another crystal, it can actually heighten that stone's effects. Think of pyrite as a spiritual volume button.
Carnelian
It's no coincidence that carnelian looks like a sunny glass of OJ in stone form. Its energising, passion-awakening properties are believed to be so strong that Brown warns against leaving it in your bedroom when you're trying to get some shut-eye. Instead, keep this invigorating stone by the entrance to your home or in your pocket, so that it can give you a boost on your way out the door or keep a bounce in your step all day.
Hematite
Not only can this powerful, potentially magnetic, stone keep your head in the dating game — it can also give you the strength you need to make it through the 3 p.m. slump. Brown writes that hematite has long been associated with healing and vitality, adding that you can find it in jewellery form pretty easily. If there's anything better than a ring that pulls together an outfit and keeps us grounded and focused all day, we haven't heard of it.
Citrine
After her robbery in Paris, Kim Kardashian West started keeping citrine in her home and soon noticed "an overall calm energy" in the air. That sense of warm, but never frenzied, energy is citrine's calling card. In Crystals: The Modern Guide To Crystal Healing, Yulia Van Doren writes that this crystal has spiritual ties to the power of the sun — holding one in your hands while focusing on your goals can imbue you with the fiery inspiration you need to tackle them head on.
Kyanite
On the surface, this is your average energising, cleansing sort of crystal. But, Van Doren writes, where kyanite truly excels is in encouraging efficiency. She suggests keeping it on you throughout the day, so that when that daunting meeting or never-ending errand approaches, it will appear totally doable — and in short order, at that. If you ask us, we wouldn't be caught dead answering emails without kyanite at our side.
Calcite
Van Doren writes that this stone is known first and foremost as a soothing variety of crystal, but it can also enhance the energy of stone around it. Keep calcite handy when you need an energy boost and some spiritual support, or if you just want to turn that citrine of yours up to 11.
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Sometimes, people wear clothing for things other than what they're intended for. Example: I wear hiking socks not for hiking, pyjama pants not for sleeping, and my expensive Brooks running shoes at moments when I am fully aware I’ll be spending the day at my desk. But sometimes, items that are built for the most extreme things (ahem, peddling a few hundred miles) are also helpful for daily life (in this case, maybe not having creeps peeking up your skirt).
When I saw bike shorts make their way down the runway at Nina Ricci, Saint Laurent, Off-White, and many others during Paris Fashion Week in September, the first thing that popped into my mind was: “Are those lace cycling shorts padded for optimal booty cushioning?” Then I recalled age seven me, wearing hot pink bike shorts and feeling like a mini superhero. That sentiment fully returned when I shimmied into bike shorts last week and committed to wearing them for seven days straight.
But first, some worries I inevitably had for the week ahead: 1) Camel toe, and what underwear I should wear to try to avoid this; 2) How exposed will I feel wearing just bike shorts with nothing covering my crotch area?; and 3) Do bike shorts automatically make it easier to bike in outfits that I previously considered unbikeable?
What I came to find: At times, the bike shorts were my best friend. At others, it felt like they were against me. Overall, the experience was a wild, spandex-clad (bike) ride. Here's how it all went down.
I pace myself going into the week, so for my first outfit I went with black shorts and a black blazer. This ended up being one of my favourite looks because of how simple and easy it was, while still being a deviation from my usual style. I have a habit of throwing my blazers in the winter pile when switching out closets for the seasons (before this, I really wasn't into the idea of wearing a blazer with shorts), but I have since been swayed.
The Frankie Shop Black Structured Blazer, £83.85, available at The Frankie Shop; H&M Compression Fit Running Tights, £9, available at H&M; Nike AF1 Sage Sneakers, £89.95, available at Nike; Stance Strawberry Socks, £11.99, available at Stance.
Photographed by James Jiang
Tuesday
This is one of my all-time favourite slip dresses, and I've been trying to find new ways to style it for summer. I discovered that a strategic tuck into one side of the bike shorts created a cool draping effect. Sure, I'm not a professional seamstress (although I did take a draping class in college), but this required (basically) no effort and gave me yet another slip dress outfit to add to my list.
Silk Laundry slip dress; Outdoor Voices Warmup Short, £34.30, available at Outdoor Voices; Eastpak Springer Sunrise Orange Bag, £16.50, available at Shopimex.
Photographed by James Jiang
Wednesday
The great thing about these Tracksmith shorts are that they don't ride up (I even road tested them) thanks to the sticky part at the hem, which is probably the most important factor when considering a pair of bike shorts. And despite my worries of feeling too exposed, I found this outfit to be really freeing. 10/10 would bike to work in this.
Creatures of Comfort Hazel Top Habotai, £209.61, available at Creatures of Comfort; Tracksmith Lane Five Tights, £51.83, available at Tracksmith; Darner Powder Blue Mesh Socks, £28.96, available at Darner.
Photographed by James Jiang
Thursday
Here, I took a trick from the good ol' high school handbook and turned this tennis skirt into a skort. (When I was younger we would use spandex to hold tennis balls during matches.) Since I find short skirts limiting and live in constant fear of the weird subway air shooting them up, I chose a pair of longer shorts to balance things out (and make it clear that having little peeks of fabric was a deliberate style choice).
American Apparel Gabardine Tennis Skirt, £36.55, available at American Apparel; Girlfriend Collective High Rise Bike Short, £36.55, available at Girlfriend Collective; Otherwild Venus Tit Tee, £24.36, available at Otherwild.
Photographed by James Jiang
Friday
The last day of the workweek is for extra-fun bike shorts — at least, that's what I was thinking when I put on these sparkly, rhinestone-covered ones. Even though I had found my cycling shorts sea legs (so I wasn't afraid to call a teensy bit more attention to myself), I still wanted to keep things casual. Treating these as I would any other pair of shorts, I gave the sweater a lil' tuck into the waistband (as I learned on Tuesday, a simple tuck can do a lot) and added sneakers.
Marc Jacobs Fanta Sweater, £419.04, available at Shopbop; I.AM.GIA Aurora Short, £79, available at I.AM.GIA; Converse Chuck Taylor All Star, £55, available at Converse.
Photographed by James Jiang
Saturday
One of my favorite outfit formulas is pairing a fancy top with not-as-fancy bottoms, and I couldn't wait to do that with bike shorts. These Kith bottoms were light and breathable almost to a fault, where I worried they actually weren't thick enough. (That idea disappeared as soon as I stepped outside into 85 degree weather.) This outfit could easily go from spin class to nighttime fête in a matter of minutes.
This outfit is for the shorts that you love that can sometimes feel too short (applicable to dresses too). I've come to realize that one of the most redeeming qualities about bike shorts is that they can add length to any look. Here, I paired them with a mini purse belt that can hold approximately two Cheetos to give this a more pulled together look, even though it was Sunday and I was grocery shopping. When styled with running shorts and a crewneck, these bike shorts made me feel athletic while allowing me to be lazy. The ideal combination.
Welcome toMoney Diaries, where we're tackling what might be the last taboo facing modern working women: money. We're asking a cross-section of women how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period – and we're tracking every last penny.
This week...
"I'm a 26-year-old living in east London with my girlfriend. I'm an artist manager in the music industry, day-to-day managing a global pop star, and my girlfriend produces branded content for a film company.
We’ve been together for almost three years and have lived together for two in a flat that we love, but we're looking to move in December as we just can't save and we want to be sensible now and start thinking about our future together. We have just started scheduling viewings of flats we can rent on a tighter budget, to give ourselves enough time to make a decision, but so far we are conflicted!
We both travel a lot for work, so it’s important for us to feel safe, and close to friends when the other is away working, while still being able to somehow save money."
Industry: Music Age: 26 Location: East London Salary: £30,000 Paycheque amount: £1,935 Number of housemates: 1 (girlfriend)
Monthly Expenses
Housing costs: £725.83 (my half of the rent) Loan payments: Credit card £75 direct debit Utilities: £92 each (we split all bills 50/50) Transportation: Sometimes I use contactless and other times I buy a weekly travel card, depending on my meetings that week, so approx £135 Phone bill: £40 Savings? Oops... Other: Amazon Fresh £3.50, Spotify £9.99, Netflix £5
Day One
8.30am: Hurrah! It’s Saturday! Except I’m not cheering because GF enjoys waking up at the crack of dawn at the weekend and (literally) pawing at my face until I too am awake (and grumpy). Oh well, at least she’s brought me a coffee. Win!
9.30am: GF leaves to go for a swim at the local lido with a friend, so I figure I’ll get up and be productive. I drag myself out of bed, put a wash on, tidy the kitchen, lash on a face mask, and embark on the biannual task of clearing out my wardrobe. I’m a hoarder, so this is never fun, but I convince myself that if I make room, I can treat myself to something from ASOS. Hehe.
11am: An hour and a half and two black sacks for charity later and I am D O N E. I decide to hit the gym seeing as my lazy Saturday morning is already doomed, promising myself a breakfast quesadilla when I’m back. The gym isn’t my favourite thing, but I really want to tone up and improve my fitness. Plus the gym is downstairs in our building and included in rent, so I have no excuse. Oops.
12.15pm: Quesadilla time. So worth it!
1pm: GF gets home so we decide to rally ourselves and get ready to head out. We’re viewing a flat in Croydon today to get an idea of what we can get for our new and refined budget (£1,000 PCM) and to get a feel for the area. It takes us a considerable length of time to get ready to go pretty much anywhere amid the "who gets to shower first" debate, arguing over outfits and makeup meltdowns, but we eventually leave the flat at about 3pm.
4pm: We get to East Croydon which surprisingly only took 15 mins from London Bridge. Right outside the station is a brand new Box Park and a cute tram. So far, so good! £4.90
4.45pm: Viewing over and done with; we’re not blown away, but maybe we’re just spoiled with what we’ve got. We decide to have a mooch around the shops, check out the surrounding area and then grab a consolation ice cream (my treat) before GF says: "Shall we head back to heaven now?" £6.20
6.30pm: We catch a train back home and silently think (panic) about what to do. £4.90
8pm: Home and GF whips up one of my all-time favourite dinners – chilli beef spicy lettuce wraps (SO GOOD) – and we put on some comedy film that neither of us really pays attention to. We’re still hungry so I make us a fruit salad.
11pm: Bedtime a.k.a. time for me to have a nightmare about being in debt forevermore. AND it’s too hot and sticky for cuddles to ease the anxiety. BOOOOO!
Total: £16
Day Two
10.30am: Finally, a lie-in! We are going to Kew Gardens today, which we’re very excited about. There’s a cellist and composer playing there, accompanying an aerial performer in The Temperate House, who I would like to sign and manage, so he’s put us on the guest list free of charge! I’ve almost been at my job a year now, so I feel like I’m ready to take on an artist of my own. So far I’ve been day-to-day manager for a highly established artist, which is super exciting but the dream is to break my own act.
12pm: Parcel arrives, looks like GF bought us a treat each – a swimming kit complete with goggles, ear plugs and *ahem* nose clip! She knows I love to swim and she’s just started going so this is very sweet of her. Loads of girlfriend points! She accidentally paid for this on my card on our shared Amazon amount but immediately sends me the money.
12.30pm: I chuck the makings of a chicken tikka masala into the slow cooker and set it on low before we pack up some tasty treats (complete with a couple of cans of G&T) and a picnic blanket and catch the Overground directly to Kew Gardens. It takes about an hour but it’s already approaching 30 degrees out and the train has air-con so we’re not complaining! £3
1.40pm: We get off the train and by now, it’s absolutely SCORCHING. We get to Kew and easily jump the queue (lol) due to our names being down for complimentary tickets – what a treat! We love a free gig.
2pm: We have 30 mins until the show and decide to have our picnic in the shade of one of the many beautiful trees in the gardens. GF made HOMEMADE VIETNAMESE SUMMER ROLLS! More girlfriend points. This also saves us from buying lunch while we’re out, so it’s a win-win. We sip our G&Ts and take in the views before heading into the glasshouse for the show, which blows us away! Time for a stroll round the gardens and then a hunt for ice cream.
4.30pm: No ice cream to be found and I am quickly going into (literal) meltdown mode in this heat. GF senses and the gardens are closing anyway so she treats us to a frap from Starbucks before getting on the train home. £1.50
6pm: We pop into our local shop to pick up some essentials. I pay. £10.50
7.30pm: I boil some rice to have with our curry which is ready when we get in (God bless the slow cooker) and tidy the flat while GF pops to the gym. We eat dinner on the balcony, and I convince GF to make her awesome banana bread. I buy a book for my Kindle and we half-watch a movie and are in bed for 10.30pm. It’s too hot to stay up any longer! £3.99
Total: £18.99
Day Three
8am: It’s Monday morning and I’ve been snoozing my alarm for an hour, but I can’t hide any longer. I contemplate working from home as there won’t be many people in my office but realise I don’t actually want to sit alone in my flat all day so I jump in the shower. GF has made a pot of coffee so I do my makeup on the sofa, eat a couple of Weetabix, drink a large coffee with oat milk and watch Good Morning Britain before leaving the flat at 9.15am.
9.30am: After jumping on a bus to the station (which I could easily have walked to but, Monday) I buy a travel card as I reckon it’ll save me some money this week, and then get the train to work. My office is by Oxford Circus so not the most fun commute due to the people traffic, but at least it doesn’t take long to get in! At my desk for 10am. Boom. £35.60
11am: I’m peckish so I crack out a slice of bangin’ banana bread and a smoothie that I made this morning. My standard second breakfast. Work is relatively quiet today as my main artist is on a promo trip in Germany with my colleague, so I’m having an admin day.
2pm: I’m ravenous again, so time for last night’s leftovers. It’s probably (definitely) too hot for spicy curries though… I’ve not really thought this through, but it is delicious.
3pm: It’s too hot in our office and our cleaner accidentally broke our fan last week, so I pop out to get some fresh air. I end up buying conditioner and a cheap concealer in Boots. I splurged on skincare in Selfridges last week, so need to be good now! £6.73
5.45pm: I manage to leave work 15 mins early (a futile attempt to beat the Oxford Circus rush) and head home. I immediately change and head downstairs to the gym as soon as I get in before losing all motivation! Grab a bottle of sweet chilli sauce on my way back up to the flat (essentials!). £1.89
7.15pm: GF has just got home when I get back from the gym. She then heads to the gym (it’s like a relay race in this flat sometimes) while I whip us up a courgette, broad bean and lentil salad with vegan aubergine fritters (cue sweet chilli sauce). We watch the first two episodes of Marcella as we’ve been meaning to for ages and we’re both big Anna Friel fans. We’re in bed by 10.30pm.
Total: £44.22
Day Four
7.45am: Another string of snoozes and another struggle to get out of bed. Why am I always so tired?! I get a notification from TfL with a delayed travel charge (whyyyyy) and my Spotify account has been renewed for the month, but have already accounted for this in my monthly outgoings. Shower, coffee, Weetabix and out the flat by 9.20am. £6
11.30am: Second breakfast time! Quickly scoff a slice of banana bread and homemade smoothie before diving into a two-hour team meeting to go through all artist schedules. Looks like I might be heading back to New York next week, so today will be a busy day!
6.15pm: Today has been hectic! Finally time to jump on the sweaty Tube and go home. GF has yoga tonight so I cook us up some gnocchi to eat before she goes. I usually use this time to myself for some self-care (face mask/ bath/ do my nails) but I end up on a stressful conference call about a music video we’ve got to shoot soon and feel demotivated and worn out. I want to stress eat so I decide to make carrot cake. Turns out you can’t directly substitute flour for coconut flour and it doesn’t work out. Massive waste of time and money and I’ve used the last of the milk so can’t even have a cup of tea. You know those days where nothing goes your way? Yep.
10pm: GF gets home bearing milk and CHOCOLATE! She is an angel. We watch Gogglebox for a bit and are out cold by 10.30pm.
Total: £6
Day Five
7.45am: Genuinely don’t feel well today, so decide to work from home as I will 100% be more productive that way. Collate more info for upcoming promo trips. There’s one to Tokyo coming up that I’m supposed to be jumping on, so ensure that band and crew are en route to sorting Japanese visas.
1pm: Have some eggs and bacon for lunch and feel smug that the top work-from-home perk is having whatever I like for lunch, for FREE (kinda).
4pm: Emails have quietened down, so I have a browse on ASOS and buy a sunhat for GF as she goes to Africa with work next month and that strawberry blonde noggin needs to be protected. Also it’ll be super cute on her. Choose one for myself too because I can’t help myself and decide I deserve it. £26
7.30pm: GF gets home with dinner supplies and cooks us beef brisket burgers followed by melt-in-the-middle chocolate desserts (I’m in heaven). I crack open a bottle of wine we’d been saving for a special occasion; we decide that it being Wednesday evening is special enough. Miraculously, I feel better and we demolish our dinner and polish off the bottle of wine while watching Marcella. I offer to split the cost of dinner but GF insists. What a dream. In bed by 11pm.
Total: £26
Day Six
7.45am: I’ve been awake on and off since 5.30am knowing I have a busy day ahead, so I just accept it and get up. Shower, coffee, breakfast, smoothie for later and I’m on my way. The Overground is playing up today (surprise, surprise) so I have to take an alternative route to work. Annoyed about the inconvenience but glad I bought a travel card this week. At work for 10.05am.
1.30pm: My period has started and it hits hard. I can’t focus and I’m in agony with cramps so I haul myself to Boots to buy some painkillers. We have complimentary sanitary products at work. In too much pain to eat anything but decide to drink a can of Coke from the office fridge as I feel like I could do with the sugar. £1.19
2.45pm: The painkillers have finally kicked in and the cramps have subsided for now, so I quickly run to Itsu round the corner and grab some chicken gyozas and edamame beans before my 3pm meeting to discuss how our artists should be using social media more to their advantage. We compare Instagram profiles of similar artists and try to come up with a strategy that doesn’t involve our artist taking scantily clad selfies. Yes, some of us in the industry do have integrity! £5.98
6pm: Meet two of my best mates who I’ve not seen in ages for a drink. One of them just got a new job round the corner from me and I’m excited to hear all about it! We manage to find a table outside a bar on Carnaby Street and two more of our friends join us. I intend on just staying for one drink but it’d be rude to leave so quickly…
8.30pm: Three G&Ts, lots of laughter and a packet of crisps later, I decide it’s time to make my exit (seeing as I wasn’t feeling great earlier in the week and it’s still a week ’til payday). We realise we’ll all see each other again in a couple of weeks for our friend’s birthday and get excited. Thankfully the commute home isn’t too tedious as the crowds have died down. Hallelujah! £14.40
9.15pm: Get home and Dream Girl has a homemade-from-scratch pizza hot out of the oven for me (I mean, COME ON). We watch an episode of Marcella in bed and manage to keep our eyes open until 10.30pm.
Total: £21.57
Day Seven
7.30am: I wake up feeling like an actual real person and then see my inbox flooded with emails already so decide that today will be a productive day. Plus it’s Friday! Regular morning routine and out the flat by 9.10am. Pit stop for period supplies on my way to work and at my desk by 9.50am. £2
12.30pm: One of my artists is coming in for a catch-up so I meet him at a local café and get us both a coffee on my company card before bringing him up to the office. I haven’t seen him in a while, so it’s good to catch up and he always makes the team laugh!
1.30pm: Get called for a one-to-one with my boss and for no reason dread that it’s going to be something negative, but it turns out to be a really positive catch-up with some unexpected praise! He tells me he’s happy with everything I’m doing, wants to give me some new projects and asks how I’ve found my first 10 months. Come out feeling motivated (and relieved!).
2pm: Time to meet a former colleague and friend for a chat in Soho. We used to work together at a record label and have been meaning to meet up for ages. I can justify it as a work meeting, so I buy us a muffin and a tea each on my company card. She tells me about some artists that are in need of a manager, I link her to some artists that are looking for a label deal and we agree to go to some gigs together. I get so excited hearing about new talent! We also share some industry gossip and have a genuine catch-up before I head back to the office.
3.30pm: Get a notification from Today Tix saying that I’ve won the £20 lottery for front row seats to see Everybody's Talking About Jamie! Usually theatre tickets are mad expensive, so this is a bargain. GF + I = chuffed! £40
6.30pm: Meet GF at Tottenham Court Road and we rush through Soho to collect our tickets before a speedy pre-theatre dinner of tapas and wine at Brindisa. Back we go to the theatre with just enough time to buy a couple more large glasses of wine and some snacks and settle into our front row seats. HELLO FRIDAY! GF kindly pays for both dinner and theatre drinks.
8.45pm: Interval time and my round. More obscenely large glasses of wine. We’re loving life right now. £18
10pm: Well, that was outrageously funny! 10/10 would recommend. Our faces hurt from laughing and we’re sufficiently pissed to not want to go home yet, so we decide that it would be hilarious for us to revisit our youth and go for a dance at G-A-Y (I know). I pay our entry and the first round and GF pays to check our bags into the cloakroom. We start chatting to a random guy who is super sweet but quickly goes from straggler to third wheel. £15.50
12.30am: GF suggests McDonald's before going home and we’re out the club like lightning (she says all the right things). She bought an extra round earlier so I pay and we jump on the Tube. We get off the Tube and realise there’s no night bus to take us the rest of the way so Uber it is. I pay, £15.75. (Disclaimer: 100% ate my cheeseburger on the Tube #SorryNotSorry)
1.30am: Home at last. We haven’t had a night out like that together in ages, so even though I know we’ve spent a bomb, we’ve had such a laugh! GF has made it as far as the sofa and I can just about stand up long enough to take my makeup off and brush my teeth before collapsing into bed. Not looking forward to this hangover!
From mineral to chemical, there's no denying the power of SPF in protecting your skin from UVA and UVB rays, subsequently keeping damage such as pigmentation, fine lines, burns and skin cancer at bay. But finding an SPF that is compatible with dark skin? Well, that's no mean feat.
Often, the ingredients that are so brilliant at shielding skin against UV can also leave behind an unsightly white cast, making darker skin looking more ashy and grey than glowy – not cool.
By now, SPF should be a staple in your morning skincare routine – come rain or shine – but if you're thinking about trying something new or simply want to step up your skincare game for summer, look no further. Ahead, Dami Khadijah, R29's strategic partnerships and client services manager and self-confessed SPF-obsessive, has done all the legwork, having tried 12 popular SPFs to give her honest verdict.
The sunscreen: Paula's Choice Sunscreen SPF 50 for Face & Body, £21, available at Paula's Choice
The verdict: This mineral sunscreen is a great option for black skin, literally zero white cast and good moisturisation. It's not the best choice for oily skin in the summer but if you’re looking for a physical sunscreen and you are of a darker hue, then here it is.
The sunscreen: Soleil Toujours Extrème UV Face Mineral Sunscreen SPF 45, £45, available at Cult Beauty
The verdict: This is the best mineral sunscreen for dark skin during a hot summer. It literally left no white cast and survived the underground heat on a 31 degrees day. One negative is the cream didn't have much slip at all so it did take some work to rub in but the results paid off – it's one of my faves for sure. I wouldn't recommend for the cold winter months unless combined with another moisturiser.
The sunscreen: Glossier Invisible Shield Daily Sunscreen SPF 35, £20, available at Glossier
The verdict: This is a chemical sunscreen and has no white cast. Generally chemical sunscreens don’t have a white cast so it doesn’t get many brownie points for me based on this, but if you prefer chemical SPF and are in need of a new one, this is your best bet. I did find it was a tad too greasy for the summer months but not moisturising enough.
The sunscreen: The Ordinary Mineral UV Filters SPF 30 With Antioxidants, £8.90, available at Deciem
The verdict: This mineral sunscreen has a lethal white and blue cast. Although it scored well on the non-greasy chart and had a great dry touch, unfortunately it had me looking like I had a mask on. I found it somewhat difficult to remove after applying and I wouldn't wear it under makeup either as I believe it would alter the colour of a base product like a foundation. It's an all-round no for me.
The sunscreen:Avène Very High Protection Cream SPF 50, £16.50, available at Boots
The verdict: Okay, so this didn’t give me a white cast but it had me looking slightly dull and colourless. It's not really noticeable in these pictures but it's definitely there in person! It performed well on having the dry touch element and was moisturising too.
The sunscreen: SkinCeuticals Ultra Facial Defense SPF 50, £37, available at SkinCeuticals
The verdict: This is literally the perfect mineral sunscreen for dark skin. There's absolutely zero white cast. It's moisturising and has all the slip required to spread across my face without tugging – golden star!
The sunscreen:Vichy Idéal Soleil Hydrating Solar Protective Water SPF 30, £19, available at Boots
The verdict: This is a sunscreen I am definitely not used to but it's very useful. There is absolutely no white cast – it feels like micellar water on the skin. I think this is great for the winter months but it has a bit of an oily feel to it, so is probably not that great for the summer.
The sunscreen:La Roche-Posay Anthelios Invisible Anti-Shine Mist SPF 50, £14, available at La Roche-Posay
The verdict: This isn’t as good in comparison to the Vichy protective water. When you initially spray it there’s a white film but once you pat it in, it disappears. It's not a big deal per se, but this is not a spray-and-go kind of mist.
The sunscreen:Clinique Anti-Wrinkle Face Cream SPF 30, £18, available at Boots
The verdict: This is a mineral sunscreen with a tiny white cast. I've been using it for years but I've had to do a lot of work, mixing it with other serums just to minimise the ashiness. Oddly enough, when I’m on holiday the white cast doesn’t come through but when I'm back home in London, it’s the complete opposite...
The suncreen:Vichy Idéal Soleil Anti-Blemish Face Sun Cream SPF 30, £16.50, available at Boots
The verdict: This is a great cream with no white cast but I felt it kind of crumbled off the skin while rubbing it in...
The sunscreen: DCL Skin Renewal Complex SPF 30, £117, available at Cult Beauty
The verdict: I wanted to try this SPF moisturiser for a while. It's an interesting option, because I'm not sure if I can call it a white cast but there is definitely a cast that makes me look slightly grey and takes the colour out of my skin. It has a tingling sensation on application because it contains glycolic acid – which is strange. Other than that it moisturises and minimises shine, which is perfect for the summer.
The sunscreen: CeraVe Facial Moisturising Lotion with SPF 25, £12, available at Boots
The verdict: This is a great moisturising chemical SPF and I think it would be especially good to wear in the colder months. It has zero white cast, does the job and feels good on the skin.
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