Temperatures continue to soar in the city, with the hottest day of the year hitting 36C last month. While we're not ones to complain – what with balmy evenings spent sipping Aperol on London's rooftops – we're struggling with our sartorial choices when faced with sweltering commutes, unrelenting sunshine, and faulty office air con.
Sure, we could look to wafty linen fabrics or wear-anywhere sun dresses, but there's a new accessory in town that allows us to wear whatever the hell we want, regardless of the temperature. And as with everything, it all started with Rihanna.
Back in 2016, when presenting her pastel-hued debut Fenty x PUMA collection, Rihanna paired her dusky pink get-up with a lace and pearl-embellished handheld fan – surely the chicest end-of-show designer step-out of all time?
Since then, a slew of fan brands have been picked up by Instagram's coolest on the clammiest days of the year. Fern Fans, founded in spring 2017 by fashion PR Daisy Hoppen and Danish textile designer Amanda Borberg, make handheld fans from birch wood and cotton. "We noticed that there was no one producing and selling beautiful and contemporary fans," Daisy tells Refinery29. "Most of the fans we saw seemed to be throwaway ones for events or weddings – or very traditional."
Instead, Fern Fans creates a plethora of contemporary designs, from graphic prints to hyper-feminine detailing. "Amanda has an incredible eye – she works with Hay, Ganni and Sakura Swimwear among others so she brings her Danish sensibility to my more traditional British one," Daisy explains. "We look at our environments as well as textiles, and look to the past as well as designing more modern prints."
Fans (sorry) of the brand include Susie Lau, Camille Charrière and Laura Jackson, who have all been spotted beating the heat with their pieces.
It's not just indie brands providing us with the heatwave essential, though. Gucci and Chanel, too, have a selection of handheld fans, Alessandro Michele's with his typical eccentric prints – an owl and bold Japanese writing – and Chanel's in grey silk and diamonds (naturally).
Whether you go for a Marie Antoinette-esque fan, all drama and maximalism, or keep it simple with a more contemporary print, the only accessory we're reaching for during this summer's heatwave is a fan. Hot and bothered? Us?
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In 2015, Canadian poet Rupi Kaur posted a photo of her period blood-stained bed on Instagram. It was subsequently removed multiple times by the platform for violating community guidelines (before eventually being restored after she complained on Facebook). The incident started a worldwide conversation about how photos of women's bodies, and specifically period blood, are received online.
The visibility of period blood in the media has increased slightly since then (thanks to some TV ads, the free-bleeding movement and various "subversive" Instagram accounts), but there's still a long way to before it's stigma-free. Case in point: a British influencer just lost more than 1,000 followers in 24 hours for posting a photo of her own period-blood stained sheets.
On Wednesday, blogger and YouTuber Grace Victory uploaded a photo of herself lying on her blood-stained sheets and has since lost over 1,000 of her almost 148k followers. She told Refinery29 UK this is the most she's ever lost in one go.
She accompanied the image with a poem: "For the redness turns to shame / and the inner peace blends to hate / and the sweetness of chocolate to cure the pain does nothing." She thanked people for their support of another of her recent poems about period poverty, and proclaimed, "Let's normalise bleeding," before asking how her followers how her latest most makes them feel.
The response was a surprise. While most were supportive, describing the image as "beautiful," "raw" and "true", and praising it for making them "feel normal", others were less pleased to see the image on their timelines. Some described it as unnecessary or gross, while others were even less articulate, saying simply, "Ewww".
Some people felt it was 'disgusting,' 'unneeded' and 'too shocking'
"Some people felt it was 'disgusting,' 'unneeded' and 'too shocking'. I also had some comments and private messages saying that the photo was too much for them due to cultural and religious beliefs," Grace told Refinery29 UK. She believes she lost many followers because people are more accustomed to seeing "curated" and "perfect" images on the platform.
Losing so many followers "was initially quite hard if I’m honest," she said. "My inner child felt rejected and full of shame but when I sat with that uncomfortable feeling it eventually left." Today she's glad to have posted it and has no regrets. "I actually feel that it's even more important now and has proven the stigma and shame linked to periods. It’s just followers and my worth isn’t based on any number, but as a blogger panic does set in: 'Oh my God, what if I lose every single follower?'.
"My content won’t be for everyone and this was just a lesson in emotional growth and not trying to put out stuff because people want to see it. It’s important to me to produce content that I also love and that inspires me. My post did just that."
Grace, who works with the brand Always on their campaign to end period poverty, doesn't think it will affect her career, because she's known for being outspoken and comfortable talking about uncomfortable topics. "If anything, it’s liberated and empowered me – I don’t really care what brands think. It opened up a conversation and that’s what I wanted. I try not to take people’s opinions personally."
Regardless of the drop in followers, she's not going to stop posting taboo-busting content, she told us. "I'm working on a video at the moment about sex toys, shame and sexuality. These are the things that make me feel fire in my belly. I’m here to stay."
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If you've ever fantasised about Reese Witherspoon throwing an ice cream cone at Meryl Streep, then yesterday was a real bonanza for you. A paparazzi photo of Witherspoon on the set of Big Little Lies season 2 showed Witherspoon hurling ice cream at, well, something. Last night, Witherspoon confirmed on Twitter that the something was Meryl Streep, erstwhile Mamma Mia star and current newcomer on Big Little Lies. Streep is playing mother to Perry (Alexander Skarsgard), the character who died at the end of season 1. She returns to Monterey to mourn the loss of her son, and that's pretty much all we know so far.
That, and she's going to get into a spat with Reese Witherspoon. On the show, Witherspoon plays Madeline, a spritely asshole who tends to her grudges "like little pets." She's best friends with Celeste (Nicole Kidman), who happens to have been married to Perry. In the words of Nancy Meyers, it's complicated. Welcome, Perry's mum (Streep), to a life of being Madeline's sworn enemy.
Oh, and, rest assured, Witherspoon hit Streep with the ice cream cone.
Just when we think this year's hair trends can't get any more Instagrammable than strandlighting (lightening just a pinch of hair strands at a time to create a natural, golden effect) or midlights (combining light and dark tones for an overall seamless, sun-kissed finish), another one makes its way onto our radar – and it's a contender for the most beautiful.
The trend in question? Shadow hair, or #shadowtone, as it's known on Instagram.
Employed by colourists all over the globe, the clever technique involves strategically placing a darker-toned dye in the mid-lengths of hair to create a natural-looking shadow effect. It's the perfect option for blondes who are looking to go a couple of shades darker but find dip-dyes too harsh and lowlights a little chunky.
Just like highlights and lowlights, the colour you choose can be painted onto your strands with a brush, but the palm-painting method – where a colourist basically uses both the palms of their hands and fingertips to apply the dye – makes the 'shadow' a little more believable and natural, rather than blocky or stripy.
Brunettes and redheads can also get in on the look. Just remember to choose a dye that is at least two to three shades darker than your current hair colour for the 'shadow' to show up. It's probably best to get your hair fix in salon, where your colourist will make sure not to concentrate the darker hue to one particular area so as to avoid a wodge of colour.
Of course, shadowing can work on all hair types, from poker straight to curly, but a quick scroll through Instagram proves that a subtle wave is the style of choice. Championed by hairstylists up and down the country, ghd's Curve Classic Wave Wand is oval-shaped to lend lengths lived-in movement rather than a tight curl. The trick is to leave the ends free.
Next salon appointment = sorted. Just make sure your colourist uses Olaplex to preserve that beautiful hair colour and keep it 100% healthy.
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We expected Burberry to undergo dramatic changes with new chief creative officer, Riccardo Tisci at the helm, and now in the build-up to his highly anticipated London Fashion Week debut, the first shift in brand visuals has been revealed.
The brand's historic logo has been transformed, as announced on its Instagram feed. The logo is now made up of founder Thomas Burberry's initials interlocked in white and orange on top of a 'honeyed' background. Working in collaboration with British graphic designer and art director Peter Saville, an exchange of emails charting the evolution of the new logo has been posted on Burberry's account.
"So excited to be working on the new logo with you Peter," reads a correspondence from Riccardo, "Do you think you can do it in four weeks?" "Riccardo, four weeks! You must be crazy," writes Peter, "You need four months for a project like this!" The conversation shows that Riccardo mined the Burberry archives for inspiration, and found references including a logo from 1908, as well as the brand's founder's monogram. "Some feel very contemporary," Riccardo explains.
Tisci said of the graphic designer: "Peter is one of our generation’s greatest design geniuses. I’m so happy to have collaborated together to reimagine the new visual language for the house." Peter, renowned for his album cover designs, was brought in last year by Raf Simons to revamp the Calvin Klein logo. "The new logotype is a complete step-change, an identity that taps into the heritage of the company in a way that suggests the twenty-first-century cultural coordinates of what Burberry could be," Saville told design magazine Dezeen. Alongside the '70s hues and monogram, the pair revealed a new font for the brand, this time in a more contemporary sans serif (see below).
Both of the designs will be used from today on all channels and across the brand's ad campaigns. Tisci, the former creative director of Givenchy, has already revealed plans for limited-edition pieces and surprise drops to take place each season, as well as a collaboration with fellow designer Vivienne Westwood, available in December.
With Tisci's new logo marking the next chapter in Burberry's aesthetic, we'll be waiting with bated breath for his London Fashion Week collection next month.
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During an Axios interview on Thursday, Ivanka Trump said that she opposes the administration's practice of separating families at the border, agreeing with other staffers that it's a "a low point in the White House."
"That was a low point for me as well," said the White House senior advisor. "I feel very strongly about that, and I am very vehemently against family separation and the separation of parents and children. ... I think immigration is incredibly complex as a topic, illegal immigration is incredibly complicated."
Since the implementation of the zero-tolerance policy, families have been forcibly separated at the U.S.-Mexico border, spurring a humanitarian crisis with no end in sight. Many families remain apart with no clear path to reunification.
Ivanka brought up the fact that she herself is the daughter of an immigrant as a way to connect herself to the issue; her mother Ivana, Donald's ex-wife, grew up in the Communist Czech Republic. However, she added (echoing her dad), "we are a country of laws."
"[W]e have to be very careful about incentivising behaviour that puts children at risk of being trafficked, at risk of entering this country with coyotes or making an incredibly dangerous journey alone. These are not easy issues, these are incredibly difficult issues and like the rest of the country, I experience them in a very emotional way," she said.
At the same Axios event, she also said she doesn't view the media as the "enemy of the people," as the president has repeatedly said, along with making other hostile remarks about journalists.
Ivanka has a history of using soothing rhetoric to appear as a moderating force in the White House. But ultimately, she's seen by many as an enabler of her father's most destructive policies. She may be expressing her disagreement now, but at the height of the family-separation crisis, she was attending a fundraiser for the GOP and making zero statements about the issue.
So yes, Ivanka "Moderating Force" Trump is back. But does it really matter?
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This story contains mild spoilers for The Spy Who Dumped Me.
In one scene in Susanna Fogel's The Spy Who Dumped Me, accidental spies Morgan (Kate McKinnon) and Audrey (Mila Kunis) are being held captive by a Russian operative and tortured for information. "I'll tell you everything you want to know," Morgan says. "I've never kept a secret in my life."
To prove it, she starts to list off random facts she knows about her best friend: "Audrey shaves between her boobs."
"Morgan flosses with her hair," Audrey counters.
"She has sex dreams about Minions!" Morgan replies.
"Just the one Minion with the one eye!" Audrey explains.
It's a funny moment that plays into the whole idea that these women aren't professionals; they're not trained to conceal motives or withstand interrogation. They're just trying to get by. But what makes the scene feel real is that, yes, women share these things with each other. We talk about sex, bodily functions, and every other kind of taboo subject. Female friendships can be just as intimate as romantic relationships — especially if, like Audrey, your ex-boyfriend (Justin Theroux) has been concealing his secret identity as a spy.
That dynamic is exactly what Fogel set out to explore. "I've always been fascinated with [female friendships] as an unexplored counterpart to the romantic relationships we see in movies," the director and co-writer told Refinery29. "What I've found trying to tell those stories is that there isn't really anything in between the sort of prestige drama and the giant tentpole action movie."
To get around that, Fogel and writing partner David Iserson decided to beat Hollywood at its own game: They wrote a heartfelt and funny story about friendship and wrapped it in the trappings of a summer blockbuster. For every explosion, there's a Minions moment. For every shootout, a joke about vaginas that makes MI6 agent Sebastian (Sam Heughan) blush.
Ahead, Fogel tells Refinery29 about directing an action movie for the first time, dealing with criticism, and why you won't be seeing Sam Heughan naked in the name of feminism.
Refinery29: There is full-frontal male nudity scene in the movie, but no one in the film is objectified. There's no female nudity, which feels like a reversal of the traditional James Bond dynamic. Was that your intention?
Susannah Fogel: "We have a purely comedic naked moment in the movie, [but] in the gender reversed Bond I would have probably had some sort of shot of like an oiled-up Sam Heughan without a shirt on, which I know that many Outlander fans will be so crushed to learn, spoiler, isn't in the movie. It's funny because we had a scene that was Sam's character changing clothes, and it wasn't a naked scene, but it did involve him taking his shirt off. There was a debate on the set of people saying, 'Yeah, we've been dealing with sexy women washing cars in a thunderstorm forever; let's show Sam being this hot guy.' But the vibe of the set was so kind of respectful, and everyone was friendly. It just felt wrong to objectify him. I wanted to give the people what they wanted, so he only undoes two buttons off on shirt . I can't imagine being a male director asking a woman to do that. But anyway, my apologies for not having more of Sam's naked body!"
Mila Kunis and Kate McKinnon have great friendship chemistry, which is as hard to nail as romantic chemistry.Did you have them bond in any way, or do chemistry tests?
"When you're casting people at Mila and Kate's level you don't usually have a lot of time or the opportunity to meet them and introduce them and do all of that sort of testing of chemistry — especially because it's not a romantic role, so people aren't totally up to speed with the fact that that's important. But I knew Kate a little bit. She had a small role in my first movie, and I knew would be incredibly grounded person who is much more thoughtful, introverted, and sincere than her sketch performances would necessarily indicate.
"When I met Mila, it was like playing matchmaker. You try to assess the other person and see if you think they would be a good match, and then you hope you're right. Mila too, is an incredibly grounded person. She's been in the spotlight for so long, but what's most important to her is her family and her friendships. But also there's a shorthand that I think women who have close friendships with other women have."
Were there any movie tropes about female friendships you were careful to avoid in this case?
"The one thing that was most important was not to manufacture some conflict between them. Conflict is the root of good storytelling, but in a movie that has so much conflict coming from everything from assassins to explosions, it felt really hard to think of an authentic way to weave in a petty argument between the girls around page 70. What I want to see is a representation of a friendship that feels real. I don't actually want to watch people bicker, unless they have to for some plot reason. I'd much rather see the joy and fun of that magical alchemy that is friendship. In many movies about friendship, they're actually about fighting and competition."
I love the dynamic between Kate McKinnon's character and Gillian Anderson, who's the head of the spy operation. Was that written with Kate in mind?
"You know, it wasn't. One of the things about Kate is that her performances, and her dynamics with different people, end up being incredibly specific and often very offbeat. One of the great surprises of the movie was that Kate and Sam developed this really close friendship, which was very much like a sibling thing where Kate would always just jokingly objectify Sam. Kate would always be like, 'Ah, you hot piece of meat,' and he would always blush and be so uncomfortable because Kate was just unabashedly crawling all over him. It's the Kate way. She would constantly try to make him crack, and he would have trouble not laughing around her. Gillian's character was written much more as just the sort of consummate Joan Allen/Judi Dench straight woman in that situation, just to sort of show the contrast with the girls.
"But then, because of Kate's bold outlandishness as Morgan, it just became this really funny situation when we were rehearsing, where that outlandishness against Gillian's very cool straight woman vibe became this whole other comedic thing that we just pushed further and further until we could push it no further."
Did you always plan to direct this movie?
"When [David Iserson and myself] started writing the movie we just wanted it to get made, and we didn't exactly know specifically what that meant. I had directed a movie before, and some television, and at the same time I knew that on paper I was not a person who was qualified in the traditional sense. I didn't have any experience doing anything on this scale. But then it was sort of this moment of trying to float up by my body and ask: Would I be having these doubts if I were a man? Would other people think that I was perfectly qualified to make that leap? How much of it is me just preemptively playing into the sort of invisible double standards? I'll never really know, but to preemptively take myself out of contention and hire an established male director who's maybe one movie ahead of me and then have them not understand all of the nuanced friendship stuff seemed like a bigger risk. So we just kind of went for it."
It's interesting you mention yourself playing into those dynamics, because a lot of male directors who get hired on these big blockbusters — Colin Trevorrow on Jurassic World, for example — only have one or two indie movies under their belt. And women in the same situation are often told that they're not qualified enough.
"I think about that Colin Trevorrow example all the time just because on the one hand, it's partly a factor of him having made a movie with some genre elements in his indie world, but also making that genre crossover was a risk. I think for a lot of women, delving into another genre feels like a bigger risk to them for some reason. Like, redefining yourself beyond the pigeonhole that you've been put in. I think it can be harder for women just because we are used to seeing ourselves and selling ourselves as one thing, not necessarily as versatile craftswomen who can do a lot of things. We're less conditioned to do that."
And "women's stories" is its own little category of movie to begin with. So then, adding another genre onto that — like science fiction, or action —must feel daunting.
"I know. We're still kind of focusing generally on the fact that equality and pay equality are important, and I think that's a given, but there are all these other sort of more nuanced ways that sexism just exists. Like, men are so biased against female-driven content. It's like a hurdle you have to surmount: the idea of their own self-identification as men, and what that means about them that they want to see Bridesmaids or listen to Bjork. Whereas a woman doesn't have any issues seeing Rushmore or listening to The Rolling Stones."
Do you feel there's undue pressure put on woman filmmakers to get it right, and make something that speaks to women in a way that goes beyond just enjoying the movie?
"I do. There just aren't enough movies yet in enough genres that have women in the lead to relieve the pressure that each one has to be everything to all women and all feminists. An early trailer for our movie features the scene that [in which Kate McKinnon and Mila Kunis' characters] can't drive a stick shift car. To me and to Dave, my writing partner, that was just a dumb Americans in Europe fish out of water scene. We didn't even think about gender. I can drive a stick shift car, and Dave can't. It didn't even occur to us that people would think this is a joke about how women can't drive. If it had been Will Ferrell and Paul Rudd in that car, no one would have ever said this is a joke about how men can't drive. There were a couple of people who said, 'Oh, this movie isn't feminist because this scene happens in it. Clearly, this is about women who aren't competent.' I have to be allowed to show women doing different things, some of them competent, some of them not."
Not all women can be good at everything. I would make a terrible spy!
"For the pendulum to swing from women hiding under tables from their exes or whatever romantic comedy tropes we've been living with for so long, to women have to be idealised powerful confident beacons of perfection — I don't think that's any better. I mean, I think it's great to have have those narratives and those heroes, but that is by no means less pressure for women to have to live up to it. We just need every story in between to even it out a little bit."
Interview has been edited and condensed.
The Spy Who Dumped Me is in cinemas August 22.
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At VidCon, the annual conference that celebrates all things internet #content, it isn’t uncommon to see screaming middle school-aged girls flocking towards their favourite creator with the same fervour as a Black Friday shopper sprinting towards Best Buy’s TV section. If the latter is a crowd comprised of sleep-deprived deal hunters with a death-grip on their coffee thermoses, the former is an overwhelming wave of glitter-covered braids, sling backpacks, and T-shirts bearing slogans such as "Don’t Vlog Me Right Now" and "Clickbait".
But this year, the concrete pathways that connected the buildings of the Anaheim Convention Center where VidCon is held were not just full of standalone creators holding meet and greets with their young fans. The June event appeared to be the site of a twin (and, sometimes, triplet) creator takeover: Lines of squealing viewers queued up for hugs and photos with their favourite YouTuber doubles.
Twins are a subject of collective fascination that spans decades, genres and mediums, and was destined to hit the creator space. After all, the interest has been prevalent in pop culture for decades. The Parent Trap — both the 1961 original and 1998 Lindsay Lohan reboot — romanticised the twin experience, leading millions of young girls to imagine maybe they too had a lookalike somewhere who could finish their sentences and, even better, swap closets. If The Parent Trap turned twinning into a fantasy, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen turned it into a business, first as trend-setting child stars in the late '90s (with their own branded toothpaste, furniture, cosmetics and line of Walmart kids clothes), and then as successful authors and high-end designers.
But on YouTube, twin creators offer something the Olsens did not: a chance to understand what living life as a pair is actually like, rather than through fictitious narratives. The increasing number of twins who are successful there fully embrace their twin status, revealing what it’s like to be a double in the same raw way that other creators get real about break-ups, fights and everyday insecurities. In doing so, they are finding ways to build brands around a personal experience that much of the public already treats as a spectacle.
With subscriber counts growing by hundreds of thousands each month and views in the millions, YouTube’s top twins show no sign of slowing down. They’re parlaying their success online into an offline presence, and not just at events like VidCon. Many of the most popular pairs, from the Dolans to the Dobres, are expanding their reach — and increasing their net worths, already estimated in the millions — by going on tour and selling merch. Twinning, in the most literal sense of the word, has never been more visible, but it’s a brand identity that comes with its own unique set of challenges.
From a purely logistical standpoint, there are benefits to running a channel with someone else. "There’s a lot of work that goes into [creating videos], so it’s nice to split that up and go fifty-fifty," Bailey McKnight, one half of the twin duo Brooklyn and Bailey, says. Together, the 18-year-old sisters boast over 5.3 million YouTube subscribers. They also have their own eponymous mascara and velvet-scrunchie lines.
Grayson and Ethan Dolan, 18 (i.e. the Dolan twins), who have over 6 million subscribers to their YouTube channel, jokingly break it down more bluntly:
"Grayson doesn’t really know how to work cameras," Ethan says.
"I do the technical part of editing that Ethan never learned," Grayson counters.
Having an extra set of hands and an additional skill set are not the only upsides to being a package deal on YouTube. If they were, you might only see one twin onscreen while the other remains unseen in a directing or producing capacity. Beyond the filming basics, twinning provides an endless source of fresh, creative content.
One of the first videos posted by Vanessa and Veronica Merrell (i.e. the Merrell twins), in 2011 addressed "What It’s Like To Be A Twin." (The 21-year-old duo has 3.5 million followers, their own fashion line with cheekily named products like 'That’s A Cool Jacket' Jacket and "Got Me Hooked" Top, and branded merch that includes their double M logo and a tie-dye shirt with the slogan "Twinners Are Winners ".) The comments on that first video range from the wishful ("It would be so cool to have a twin") to the relatable ("I am a twin and I know exactly how it feels like"). Many YouTube twins have their own variation of this video, answering common questions and dispelling myths about issues such as twin telepathy, but it has also been spun out into more nuanced twin challenges and pranks.
The Dobre twins, Lucas and Marcus, 19, who have over 10.7 million subscribers to their channel, are masters of these kinds of videos. From "My Girlfriend Kissed My Twin Brother " to the more questionable "I Cheated On My Girlfriend Prank, " which involved putting Marcus Dobre in a blond wig to "trick" Lucas’s girlfriend into believing what the video’s title implied, the twins aren’t afraid to use their lookalike appearances to their advantage when creating content.
Twins are twins. We know that if one of us was to change our appearance drastically and the other didn’t, it would actually mess with our brand.
But being a twin and treating that joint identity as a brand also comes with an inevitable downside: For starters, fans can develop rigid expectations about how they want to see their favourite pairs dress and appear in videos.
"Twins are twins," Vanessa Merrell says. "We know that if one of us was to change our appearance drastically and the other didn’t, it would actually mess with our brand."
This means that if one twin wants to change their look, the other needs to do the same. Or the one making the change needs to find a workaround. (If this makes you think of the ear piercing scene in The Parent Trap, you’re not alone.) When Vanessa Merrell decided she wanted to get bangs, for example, she chose a specific style that was easy to hide during filming. While the Merrells say they don’t always plan on looking the same ("In the future, I want to cut my hair short," Vanessa says), they will as long as they’re making YouTube content.
Lucas and Marcus Dobre also make sure to dress the same on camera, even if they’re not always matching in real life. Doing so pleases two audiences: "Fans love when we dress the same," Lucas says. "So does our mom. They just think it’s cute, I guess."
This thinking carries over to their Instagram accounts. The twins’ joint account is full of photos of them in identical tracksuits (paired with Dobre-branded slides, part of a larger merch selection), camo tank tops, and white cotton robes. On their individual Instagram accounts, meanwhile, they have a chance to show more of their own personality, and wear clothes that reflect their individual style. But the twins say they would never bring the same approach to YouTube and start their own channels there. "We’ll always work together," Marcus says. "We even turn things down if a company wants only me."
This is a matter of personal preference. There is not any extra monetary value specifically attributed to being a pair: rates are based on audience size and viewership, not the number of creators producing the content.
This emphasis on playing up the identical part of being an identical twin doesn’t hold true for all pairs. Brooklyn and Bailey McKnight, for example, are more open to showing differences in their appearance: Bailey’s hair is dyed hot pink, while Brooklyn’s is not. "As an identical twin you kind of have to formulate your own identity," Brooklyn says.
Fans’ unrealistic expectations don’t stop at looks, however. They often prefer to see their favourite twins together at all times, even if that means taking matters into their own hands. When Lucas Dobre started putting his girlfriend, Ivanita, in videos, the brothers were curious to see what the reaction would be like from their audience. Instead of complaining about her presence or saying she disrupted the pair’s normal dynamic, fans took a different route: they wanted to find Marcus a girlfriend, too.
At the same time, many YouTube twins are well accustomed to fans picking a favourite between the two. They admit this comes with the territory.
"There are a lot of people who are in my lane or Ethan’s lane," Grayson Dolan says. "Sometimes they will swerve lanes and be in one lane or the other, but there are some people who are strictly in one lane and who really only like Ethan."
He learned about these allegiances when the twins decided to swap lives for a day (as part of a video, of course), switching Instagram accounts and phones in the process. "I posted a photo of myself on [Ethan’s] account and everyone was like, 'Ethan, get this ugly ass off your account,'" Grayson says. "I know they were joking."
While the Merrell twins admit the choosing sides element of online life can be challenging — it’s hard enough to deal with favouritism in the halls of high school, let alone comment sections — they have learned to ignore the haters.
"We make every single YouTube video together," Vanessa Merrell says. "So they’re still going to be watching me, even if they like Veronica more. So, yeah, it stinks sometimes. But they’re still watching our videos and supporting us, so we love it."
Although the twins creating content on YouTube are treated as unique phenomena in their own right, the fascination with twinning that they face — including standard questions about everything from who was born first? to can you feel each other’s pain?(answer: no, they cannot) — are simply exaggerations of an experience many non-famous twins and their families deal with on a daily basis. The difference is, YouTube’s pairs are building massive fanbases that rival those of the platform’s most subscribed-to creators. In January 2017, the Dobre twins had just 8.6 million views monthly. By January of this year, that number had multiplied to 135 million and it now stands at an impressive 250 million.
Rosanna Guadagno, PhD, a social psychology researcher in Stanford’s Peace Innovation Lab and herself the mother of twin girls, believes that twins, both off and especially online, will continue to drive public interest, but that the intrigue may lessen in future generations. Today, twins still make up a relatively small number of annual births: Of the over 3.9 million people born in 2016, only 131,723 were twins. But as more women choose to have children later in life, they are opting for in-vitro fertilisation, which increases the chances of having twins and multiples. The more common twinning becomes, the less unique it will seem. Nevertheless, Guadagno says, this shift is likely many years away from happening. In other words, it’s still prime time to be a twin on YouTube.
All of the pairs of twins spoken to for this piece plan on continuing to work together as they grow older, though some are more open to individual opportunities than the inseparable Dobre twins.
"If an opportunity comes up for either one of us that’s a great one, we’re not going to hold each other back," Ethan Dolan says. However, he makes sure to add that the pair would only consider splitting up for a separate project and has no plans to do so on YouTube.
After all, for twinning to be successful as a business and brand, it takes two.
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Margot Robbie is in talks to join both Charlize Theron and Nicole Kidman in the upcoming movie adaptation about Roger Ailes' ouster from Fox News. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Kidman is slated to play Gretchen Carlson, who sued Ailes in 2016 for sexual harassment, settling for £15 million that September. Theron will be playing Megyn Kelly, who was one of the many subsequent women to come forward with similar allegations against Ailes before his death in 2017. Now, THR is reporting that Robbie has been tapped to play an associate producer at the network.
In August of 2016, Carlson's lawyers said the number of private and public Ailes accusers was over 20. This movie, written by Charles Randolph, will take a larger look at the culture in the network that allowed for this alleged behaviour to become so prevalent. Jay Roach (HBO's Game Change, Trumbo) is set to direct.
As it stands now, the cast is pretty homogenous, inadvertently revealing the lack of diversity at the network. Other still-to-be-cast characters likely include Greta Van Susteren, Rupert Murdoch and Bill O'Reilly, THR speculated. The film is still untitled.
Reps for Robbie did not immediately return Refinery29's request for comment.
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Mother Nature just keeps on surprising us but as we round the corner into August and September looms, we can't help thinking that this glorious summer must end soon. Which makes us determined to enjoy however many warm weekends we have left in style.
In our office, sundresses and black Birkenstocks reign supreme during the week, but for those cherished two days off, we've selected some statement accessories to give our well-worn summer wardrobes a much-needed lift.
Ahead, team R29 shares our summer weekend ensembles, including a Little Bo-Peep visor, a mermaid shell necklace, some cute cross-body bags and tons of comfy sandals...
Charlotte Gush, Fashion Editor
I am well aware that this is a dressing gown. Sorry, a robe. And I am not posh enough to have such a fancy robe for lounging around my own house. However, I love the mustard colour (it’s Gen Z yellow all grown up!) and the shape, and I just about reckon I could wear it as a dress. (Or at least that’s what I will tell my mum if she calls to make sure I didn’t spend more than £150 on a dressing gown. Hi Mum!)
Once Milano Bell-Sleeved Linen Robe, £157, available at Matches Fashion
Now here’s a choice my mum could surely get behind... just probably no one else. I need a sunhat, but wearing a sunhat means I have to have my hair down, which is like wearing a wool scarf right now. So I realised I need a ‘sunhat with a ponytail hole’, which is what I searched for. And here is what I found. I know I’ll look like an American golf mom slash Devonshire grandmother in her garden, but I’m completely at peace with that.
Sensi Studio Toquilla Straw Visor, £110, available at Net-A-Porter
When big trends (like straw bags) happen, I instantly feel turned off. I balk at the idea that we are told what to wear, and then consume to fulfil that requirement. However, I could really do with a summer bag. My friend, the filmmaker Eloise King, has a green plastic basket that I love, but I’m looking for something less… rigid. Really into these Turtle bags (stocked at Arket) – they are fair trade, small enough to fit in a mini bag (to take out for grocery shopping), and – by virtue of being 100% cotton – will never contribute to the ocean plastic epidemic.
Arket Turtle Bags String Bag in Black, £5, available at Arket
Georgia Murray, Fashion & Beauty Writer
We’re currently experiencing an unprecedented heatwave, which means although I’m stuck on the sticky Northern Line, I’m dressing like I’m poolside in a tropical oasis. WALD Berlin is the reason you’ve seen shell jewellery all over your timeline, and this Drop It Like It’s Hot number (GREAT name) will be around my neck all summer.
WALD Drop It Like It’s Hot Shell Necklace, £168.43, available at WALD
I bought this dress when I stumbled across The-Acey’s pop-up in Shoreditch last month. It’s a sustainable brand that makes limited edition pieces from fabric offcuts. I’ll be pairing with the aforementioned shell necklace and some trusty Birkenstocks.
Pink City Prints Rah Rah Dress Riviera Stripe, £129, available at The-Acey
I’ve been following Manu Atelier since I saw their cute bags pop up on the streets around LFW a few seasons ago. It’s a family business, owned by two sisters (their father makes prototypes of their designs too!), based in Istanbul. This linen and suede number is a sweet alternative to my ever-growing pile of basket bags...
I'm loving this pullover because I'm anticipating it will not be as hot in London towards the end of August (too optimistic). It’s inspired by the Nigerian National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) uniform which all corpers wear for the duration of their year long service – the entire look is a vibe – Google it!
Kiwi & Yam NYSC Long Sleeve, £16, available at Kiwi & Yam
Due to the unforeseeable heatwave, my purchases have slightly altered to a ‘holiday shopping list’ and this pinafore is too cute and I think they’ll go well with the shoes in my next pick.
ASOS denim belted mini dress in stone, £35, available at ASOS
I love footwear that have a vintage resemblance and twang to it. These particular ones are woven too and that’s been a weakness of mine for over a decade now *covers face* so combine the two and I’mma purchase.
Uterqüe Brown braided mesh mules, £99, avaliable at Uterqüe
Kara Kia, Editorial Intern
A breezy, V-neck or Bardot midi dress is my unofficial summer uniform and this gem from Free People in the colour "Lagoon" will transport me to the sea, sand and sun of my island home.
Free People Love Of My Life Midi Dress, £88, available at Free People
My collection of casual bags – basket, netted, plastic – has become a bit excessive lately, so this plum-coloured find is just what I need to add some elegant formality to an otherwise casual summer wardrobe.
Mango Chain Leather Bag, £49.99, available at Mango
I want comfortable walking sandals that are practical but fashion-y and not black or brown. I've been eyeing these cool cut-outs for some time and they tick all the boxes, so maybe – just maybe – this will be the month I make a purchase.
ATP Atelier Dina Sandal in Lava Red, £136, available at Need Supply Co.
Effy Okogba, International Sales & Partnerships Manager
This dress has just stepped out of my polka dot-filled dreams. I must have it.
Because when it seems like the UK’s frankly tropical weather is here to stay, a girl must ensure that her slide collection is on point. Dear Frances is a brand that I have spied on social media and resisted buying for about a year now, but these slides at a slightly more purse-friendly price point might be the thing to tip me over the edge!
Dear Frances Tye Slide, £248.11, available at Dear Frances
I probably won’t be able to pull these off, but god loves a trier, so I am willing to look like an insect for the sake of summer fashion.
Ace & Tate Donna in Mint, £98, available at Ace & Tate
Katy Harrington, Managing Editor
I intend to get my legs out as much as possible in August before we return to the dreaded 60 denier tights weather, and I really like this easy breezy Intropia dress for bare-legged bar hopping.
Intropia Jacquard Midi Dress with Floral Embroidery, £194, available at Intropia
Phoney statement T-shirts make me feel queasy, but I’m into this simple and succinct Sandro one. And my summer weekends will be spent hanging out with brilliant and funny women, women, women, so it feels appropriate.
Sandro Cotton T-Shirt With Lettering, £90, available at Sandro
I am a very lazy dresser (read: person) so a co-ord set is the perfect solution for the heatwave. This lightweight polka dot Topshop one is playful and fun.
Topshop Spot Print Co-ord Set, £62, available at Topshop
...and the other half living in comfortable clothing and doing yoga. Truth is, I haven’t found the perfect place to do both of these activities yet! Where should I go?!
A Day Don't Stop Top in Teal, £45.80, available at This Is A Day
I have never thought myself to be a Birkenstock person but then I saw THIS and was inspired! Versatile, easy to wear, and this pair is waterproof, lightweight and affordable. Just need to find a pair available in my size…
Birkenstock Arizona Eva Sandal in Black, £25, available at Birkenstock
Liv Santner, Art & Graphic Intern
I love long skirts so much, hence why my legs won’t ever get a summer glow. This skirt is so cute that I don’t care. I love the colours and the comfort levels are through the roof!
Zara Contrasting Knit Skirt, £29.99, available at Zara
I am adamant that I will make it to a beach one weekend, I don’t care if every woman and her dog will be there – the need for saltwater is so real. Love these swimmers, the colour is lush and it looks as if it will actually stay on as I splash about in the waves.
Weekday Horizon Swim Top, £16, available at Weekday
I’ve been on the hunt for a kimono ever since I arrived in London. I left my beautiful canvas one back in my hometown and it has been one of my biggest regrets. This Weekday kimono looks like a bundle of fun, light and super comfortable. Can’t wait to prance around in this all weekend, and every weekend for that matter.
Never one to shy away from a little sparkle, I really love the detail on these well constructed, genuine leather sandals. Also metallic accessories go with everything – so it'll be easier than breaking a sweat to pair these with your favourite summer dress ya'll.
Sofie Schnoor Silver Studded Sandals, £130, available at ASOS
This dress is the closest thing to being naked and it's 100% sustainable cotton. Some would go for the spaghetti strap – which I get – but I find covering my shoulders is actually cooler and this light, loose, natural fabric means you never feel sticky. I suggest pairing it with 100% cotton underwear and no bra. Freedom!
Growing up in Colorado, there was no fresher fruit in the summertime than a chunky slice of watermelon. I wore the scented lotion as a teenager (thanks, The Body Shop!) and now I choose to wear it as an accessory. I know it doesn't hold a lot – but then again, who wants to lug a bunch of crap around in this heat anyway?
Pitusa Watermelon Straw Cross-Body Bag, £105, available at Selfridges
Casey Bird, Creative Lead
Since I’ll be on holiday in the south of France later this month, my eyes are well and truly fixed on anything that complements a glass of rosé and my sun lounger. First up is this white floaty sheer dress that I’ve got my eye on to wear over my bikini. It’s also a great investment that can go with jeans and a white tee when this heatwave eventually (will it ever?) subsides.
Never Fully Dressed Aurelie Dress White, £79, available at Never Fully Dressed
Cute straw bags are life this summer. That is all.
I am obsessed with frame chains right now and I’ve got my eye on this one for my holiday (I wear reading glasses as well so I can double up). My boyfriend says I look like an old librarian, but I think I look great and let’s be honest, a glasses chain is so damn practical – a sure sign that I’ve turned 30.
Frame Chain Gold-Plated Golden Balls Glasses Chain, £65, available at Liberty London
Laurene Mpia, Associate Production Manager
It’s hot so legs out please! This is a perfect mini dress for a perfectly hot day.
Les Rêveries Ruffled Floral-Print Mini Dress, £425, available at Net-A-Porter
I like to think that I am a tall person but in reality, I am only 5’4 so I wear heels. And it’s hot. So I introduce you to my new summer best friend – the Chiara espadrille, who is a mix of comfort and makes me look tall. I love her.
Castañer Chiara Canvas Wedge Espadrilles, £100, available at Matches Fashion
My mum always says, "You’re Parisian, you need to stay chic at all times". So this is for you, Mum. I will try to stay chic with this super nice cross-body bag. Also, when it’s hot, you don’t want to carry a bag in your hands, so a cross-body is practical.
Chylak Saddle Bag Glossy Brown Crocodile, £245, available at Chylak
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One minute your mate's broke, they literally have no money so can you please stop asking them to go out. The next? They’re buying a house and renting out one of the rooms for extra cash.
When you’re in your 20s it’s not that obvious who has what money to their name. But suddenly, from the age of about 28 onwards, the distinction can become really clear. In some circles, people start getting houses or flats bought for them and suddenly the days of being dirt broke together are over.
Although the bank of mum and dad is feeling the pinch (the average parental contribution for home buyers this year will be £18,000, down 17% from last year's £21,600), more than one in four buyers are still expected to receive financial help from friends or family. In total, 27% of home buyers get assistance – up from 25% last year. Despite smaller sums being loaned, parental help is still a major factor in getting people onto the UK housing market. But how does it feel when you’re not one of them? And what does this do to friendships?
This happened to Natasha*, 32, who has a good job in PR in London and a decent salary, but not the sort that can afford a deposit for a flat in the capital. "Throughout our 20s, my friends and I all rented flats and houses of varying standards, complained about landlords and bills and damp until something changed. But at about the age of 27, my friends – who I thought were the same as me in every way – all of a sudden, weren’t. The same friends who joined me in lamenting their overdraft and how much they’d spent at the weekend, were suddenly buying flats. And in London, not the suburbs."
At first, Natasha thought it was a few incredibly lucky ones with very rich parents, and the rest would be renting forever like her. "But then everyone started to buy flats, even 'normal' people with similar backgrounds to me. I was shocked. It turns out that most people I know have parents with a nest egg large enough for a one-bedroom flat or, if not, the parents of one half of a couple do," she says.
For Natasha, this was never an option. "I am a single woman, my mum was a single parent. She has worked harder than anyone I know to ensure I’ve had a privileged life, and I know I’m luckier than most, but there is no nest egg. I couldn’t be prouder of my friends and their lovely homes, but there’s something so desperately unfair about being able to rely on your parents to ensure you’re not in a cycle of crap flat shares for the rest of your life."
Others agree and say it takes a toll on their professional lives, too. Filmmaker Elliot Cox, 31, from Birmingham, says that although he has benefitted from this and lived for cheap in places his friends’ parents own, he feels disadvantaged professionally. "People who don’t have to worry about money can constantly immerse themselves in the medium they want to work in. Having rich parents helps and they don’t have to worry about making enough money. If you took away that worry I’d have so much more freedom in my work," he says. As a result of renting and working in a creative job, Cox says he is now hugely in debt. "Credit card debt feels that much more urgent and I feel anxious all the time."
If you are doing fun things with your life and have a job that you care about, then some say it doesn’t matter how much money your peers have. "You can tell yourself it’s a choice," says actor Alastair McDonnell, 35, from Glasgow. However, he says, there is some resentment when people who have had houses bought for them moan about money. "One of my friends wanted to stay for free at an Airbnb I was renting in New York. There wasn’t much room so I suggested she just get a hotel, to which she replied, 'I’ve got no cash, I'm buying a house'."
He says this made him think: "You’re buying a massive house. You’ve already been given a huge advantage. You don’t get to leverage that more. You can’t be tight when you’re buying a property like that. I suppose the fact of her having a house is by the by. But when she complains about the expense of the giant house she chose to buy and how it prevents her from doing things, then she can get lost."
Financial help such as this can also cause tensions in relationships. Some people could never have afforded a house themselves but marry someone with rich parents and then feel indebted to them. Ben Barton, 33, lives with his partner, and his parents gave him money for the flat they live in. He says it creates "a massive divide" in his relationship and is a source of arguments when deciding where to live and what kind of property to buy, but he points out: "Getting rich off property your parents bought doesn’t make you a success. Any idiot could do it."
Others can end up resenting their parents and their own life decisions. "My mum lives in a massive house on her own, she doesn’t need all that space now we’ve all moved out. She should downsize!" jokes one 32-year-old Londoner, who says she’s the only one in her friendship group who hasn’t received any help towards a mortgage from her family.
Although this may sound like the ultimate middle-class, keeping-up-with-the-Joneses problem, it clearly does impact on how friends, family and couples interact with each other. Les Back, professor of sociology at Goldsmiths, University of London, says that like so many aspects of privilege it can be really tough for those that go without, but it is important for those that do benefit from it to recognise the privileged position they're in. "Those who are buoyed by all that advantage feel benefit but often it is invisible to them," he says.
*Some names have been changed
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With Supers Naomi Campbell, Kate Moss and Helena Christensen walking its catwalk shows, it's fair to say that Ghost formed part of the uniform of choice for '90s It girls and models alike. Founded in 1984, it was the go-to brand for bias-cut slip dresses and garment dye techniques but in 2006, Ghost pulled out of the London Fashion Week schedule after the departure of founder Tanya Sarne. Cue a decade of silence and a slide into administration.
That is, until Sameera Azeem came on board as creative director, gave Ghost a thoroughly contemporary refresh, and began turning out our dream summer dresses. Now, those wearing the brand include Alexa Chung, Lucy Williams and Monikh Dale, and our Instagram feed is flooded with bright florals, Ghost's renowned bias cut, and bridal pieces we'd actually like to wear.
"Over the last three years, we've been slowly introducing new styles through our collections," Sameera tells Refinery29. "Women today don't want complication, so we try and design our garments to reflect this, combining effortless silhouettes with beautiful prints." The magic formula? "Simplicity is in the style, while the pattern does the talking."
Our current picks? The Sabrina dress is a dusky pink satin number that we'll be pairing with chunky trainers and belt bags, the Luella dress is a high-necked, puff-sleeved printed dress ideal for both work and play, and the Ayla dress is pussy bow maximalist perfection that gives Gucci a run for its money.
Thankfully for our wardrobe, it isn't just summer that Ghost has sewn up. For AW18 Sameera says we can expect "modern heritage, drawing inspiration from the '70s and '80s – times when I feel women’s style was at its most effortless. Those influences have been woven into the collection to offer easy and casual pieces that strike the perfect balance for day-to-night dressing."
So where to buy the coveted pieces? You can shop online or at stockists Harvey Nichols and Selfridges, or head to one of the brand's stores – of which we may be seeing more. Ghost now offers four, rather than two collections per year, and after seeing the fashion set wearing its pieces with aplomb, we'll be hearing much more from the brand over the next few seasons. "We may have a few exciting collaborations in the pipeline," Sameera says. "Watch this space!"
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I like to think I have my makeup application nailed. I know to apply concealer after foundation and that eyeshadow comes before mascara, but some mornings, no matter how long I've spent, there are times when my makeup just doesn't sit right.
You've probably been there, too. But rather than blaming it on your tools (why does brand new mascara transfer so much product?) or the fact that you were half-asleep when you applied it at 7am on Monday morning, it might be worth taking your technique into consideration. In particular, the step before makeup. For most of us, prepping skin with moisturisers, serums and primers is pretty much second nature, but according to Max Factor makeup artist Caroline Barnes, a speedy facial massage is beneficial, too.
Not long ago, I went along to a makeup masterclass led by the renowned MUA, and after five minutes of prodding and pummelling my cheeks pre-makeup, I discovered the foundation, blusher and highlighter I applied afterwards had never looked better. And I wasn't alone – the beauty editors and influencers around me noticed it, too. Our cheeks were a little perkier, our skin had a pretty, natural flush to it, and our makeup lasted a hell of a lot longer than usual. So what's the deal with facial massage?
"Facial massage is so important in stimulating the skin," said Caroline, who learned her massage techniques from skin brand founder and facial expert Annee de Mamiel. "Your own hands are pretty magical. By stimulating the circulation in the skin, you create a natural erythema – you know after a walk in the cold or an exercise class, you get that glow, that flush. You’re also working with your lymph nodes, pulling all the stagnant energy and water away from your skin, and this reduces puffiness. The more you move and activate your skin, the more malleable and brighter it becomes."
Start with a facial oil – Caroline rates Willowberry's Nutrient Boost Treatment Oil, £22.50. "Firstly, rub the oil into your hands and really emulsify it," said Caroline. "To begin, place your middle and forefinger to the backs of your ears and use the pressure of your fingers to drain by pulling all the way down to the sides of your neck. Focusing on the lymph nodes really helps remove any puffiness from the skin and boosts circulation."
It pays to pay special attention to your jaw, too. "Take your hands into prayer position and place your thumbs underneath your jaw so that your chin is sitting in the cup of your thumb and index finger," advised Caroline. "Move your thumbs all the way across your jawline to the bottom of your ears. You might feel that it’s a bit crunchy, but that’s the tension in your muscles. A lot of us hold a lot of tension in our faces, especially our jaw, and this is a good release. Take hold of your jaw, really feel and push your skin to take the pressure out."
"Eyes are also important," Caroline mentioned. "It's all in the pressure – you want to use your ring finger. Paint circles around your eyes pushing as hard as you can around the orbital area. Always start in the tear duct and follow all the way around – do this 10 times. You’ll be surprised how hard you can push. It won't damage the skin. Instead, it encourages drainage and makes your skin feel alive."
If you're prone to acne, you might not want to slather your skin in any old oil, but Caroline recommends trying Votary's Blemish Rescue Oil, £35, as it contains salicylic acid to exfoliate and bring down inflammation, and according to brand founder, Arabella Preston, blemishes disappear much faster when you don't dry them out. Of course, if you want to avoid facial oils altogether, or simply don't have the time in the morning, you can employ your usual cleanser and practise the technique on wet skin while you wash your face. Using your trusty moisturiser or serum will also work a treat.
So what's the best way to apply your foundation after a facial massage? Interestingly, Caroline, who swears by Max Factor's Radiant Lift, £14.99, thanks to the addition of SPF 30 and hyaluronic acid to plump and hydrate, suggests using your hands again. "Your fingers are warmer than a brush which helps with connectivity and blending the product into the skin," she said. "Secondly, your fingers can manipulate the products into all the nooks and crannies of your face, which a brush can't do. It's also much quicker and it makes the finish much more natural. That said, if you have downy hairs, a brush might be better at perfecting and that's because it helps lift the product. After using your fingers, you can always go over with a soft brush for an even more flawless finish." And to complement your skin's natural flush after your facial massage, Caroline suggests that if you usually apply highlighter (she rates liquid versions like Max Factor's Miracle Glow, £10.99), tap it on before your foundation, as it'll make your skin look more like, well, skin.
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In recent weeks, a migrant toddler and a grandmother died after being in custody of the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agency, prompting advocates to warn others about the subpar facility conditions and inadequate medical services in many detention centres across the country.
"What we continue to find over and over again is the sad reality that ICE has not been able to keep people safe in the detention centres where they operate. We've seen cases of medical neglect, people being threatened or ignored when they ask for medical attention, and the consequences of those behaviours and attitudes," Victoria Lopez, senior staff attorney at the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) National Prison Project, told Refinery29.
News of the migrant child's death, first reported by Texas-based immigration attorney Mana Yegani, spread like wildfire on social media. The toddler, whose identity has not been revealed, allegedly died shortly after being released from the for-profit South Texas Family Residential Center in Dilley, TX. Refinery29 was unable to independently verify the death.
"Reports that a child died in ICE custody at Dilley are false," an ICE spokesperson told Refinery29 via email. She added: "We are looking into the report of the death after custody, but without any specifics about who this was we are unable to provide anything further at this time."
The toddler is not the only immigrant that has died after going through the federal immigration custody system. On Friday, ICE confirmed that Augustina Ramirez-Arreola, 62, died while awaiting deportation at the Otay Mesa Detention Center in California. According to a press release, "hospital staff identified the preliminary cause of death as complications from surgery."
Ramirez-Arreola is the ninth detainee to die while in ICE custody during fiscal year 2018, which began in October 2017.
A recent report by Human Rights Watch, the ACLU, the National Immigrant Justice Center, and other groups found that ICE had reported a total of 74 deaths in immigration detention between March 2010 and June 2018.
As part of the study, independent medical experts analysed the reviews for the cases of 15 immigrants who died in ICE custody between December 2015 and April 2017. The experts said that in 8 out of the 15 cases the immigrants had received inadequate medical care, likely contributing to their deaths. They added that the medical care detainees obtained was "substandard" in most cases.
Some of the preventable deaths outlined in the report included a 23-year-old man who was not medically evaluated after several seizures, a 54-year-old woman whose hypertensive cardiovascular disease was not properly followed-up on, and a 54-year-old man suffering a heart attack whose symptoms were ignored by a nurse who "did not want to get sick."
For Grace Meng, senior U.S. researcher at Human Rights Watch, ICE should be offering proper medical care to detainees, regardless of their immigration status.
"When someone is locked up by the government, the government has the responsibility to provide medical care for them," she said. "But they are spending billions [of dollars] locking people up without offering them adequate medical care. Ordinary Americans should care about where the taxpayer money is going."
According to the report by the human rights groups, more detainees died during fiscal year 2017 than any year since 2009.
Lopez, the ACLU attorney, said that there are many ways complications can arise when someone in detention tries to request medical care, particularly because ICE deals with migrants from all around the world.
"One of the questions is whether the detention facilities have information in the languages people can understand [so they are] able to request medical attention when they need it," she said. "But what we've seen is that even when people have access the medical form to request help, they’re ignored. Sometimes people have reported that they are even threatened with being put in solitary confinement or even deported for asking for medical care."
It also doesn't help that there's not an universal standard for requisite medical care across detention centres, many which are for-profit and managed by different corporations.
"People are sometimes transferred from jail to jail, from one state to another state," Lopez said. "Because of those transfers and the difference in the detention practices in each of those facilities, people might have additional problem accessing the physical and mental health care that they need."
Family detention centres like the one at Dilley, where the migrant toddler was detained, also have its fair share of issues. In 2015, a group of ten migrant mothers filed complaints because of the "substandard medical care" they and their kids received while in custody. Some of the allegations in the complaints included: waiting up to 14 hours under the sun to be attended by medical staff, a mother who was told to "drink more water" when she sought care for two broken fingers, a patient with breast cancer who was denied treatment, and a child vomiting blood who waited three days before being referred to external medical care.
When it came to the toddler's death, Lopez pointed out at the children are especially at risk when they're in detention. For example, the Trump administration had been administering psychotropic medication to migrant children detained in Texas without first obtaining consent from their parents or guardians. On Monday, a federal judge ordered officials to stop the practice.
"Medical care for children in particular can be highly specialised," she said. "There are serious questions about whether the Department of Homeland Security and the Human and Health Services Department, which detain immigrant children, are in a position to provide the level of medical and mental health care that immigrant children might need in detention."
She added: "Of course, these children shouldn’t be detained at all because we already know that there are such significant, negative consequences for children in these conditions."
Despite an ICE spokesperson telling Refinery29 she would look "into the report of the [toddler's] death after custody," the reality is that when immigrants died after detention they are not counted in the agency's data. Take the case of Teka Gulema, an Ethiopian migrant who acquired a bacterial tooth infection while at the Etowah County Detention Center in Gadsden, AL. The infection spread through his body and he became paralysed. ICE released him from custody in November 2015, while he was still in the hospital. He died two months later, but the agency didn't investigate his death.
The deaths of immigrants because of inadequate medical care are not the only issues plaguing the agency. A report recently found more than 1,200 sexual assault complaints made by detainees, with half of the alleged perpetrators being ICE officials. Pregnant women in ICE custody have also alleged officials denied them medical care, even when they were facing a miscarriage.
Though the poor conditions at ICE detention centres predate President Donald Trump, his administration has been planning to extend the agency's detention capacity. In his budget request for FY2019, the president asked for an allocation of $2.5 billion so an average of 47,000 immigrants can be detained in ICE facilities. That would be a record high number of detainees for the agency.
Both Meng and Lopez insisted that detention is not the only solution to deal with immigrants who are waiting for their cases to be processed by the federal government, particularly because there are alternatives such as community-based supervision and electronic monitoring.
"Children [like the migrant toddler] are especially vulnerable. But generally, anyone with a history of medical or mental health conditions shouldn’t be detained," Meng said. "These facilities simply can't secure them."
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If you rent your home (which you probably do if you’re a millennial who can’t afford to buy a place), you’ll be used to seeing a hefty chunk of your salary go straight into your landlord’s pocket each month.
The cocktail of rising rent costs and stagnant wages has left many people across the country feeling the pinch but some of us are feeling it more than others, as new data from the housing charity Shelter shows.
Rents have risen 60% faster than average wages across England since 2011, according to the charity, in a trend it describes as a 'rentquake'. Private rents have risen by 16% since 2011 – far faster than average wages, which have only risen by 10%, meaning people are increasingly struggling to pay their rent.
London boroughs are some of the worst affected but the problem has spread out from the capital to cities like Cambridge, Bristol and Birmingham, and market towns including Tunbridge Wells, Milton Keynes and Sevenoaks.
The blame lies with consecutive governments which have failed to build enough affordable homes-to-rent to meet demand, according to Shelter. The charity is calling for a new government plan for social housing, "so people on low income jobs can find somewhere affordable to rent, rather than overloading the private rented sector." It also wants the new three-year tenancies deal for renters to be backed up by law, to strengthen the private rented sector.
"With this surge in private renters the housing market has shifted massively and yet as a country we’ve failed to respond," said Greg Beales, Shelter’s campaign director. "This has resulted in consecutive governments focusing on better-off homeowners whilst not doing enough for hard pressed renters. We need politicians of all parties to sit up and take notice of the rising numbers of renters, and ensure they're doing all they can to protect them."
One young renter who is feeling the pinch because of the rentquake is 27-year-old Emma Sinclair (not her real name), a PR and content executive renting in Bristol. She makes £2,000 per month before tax (about £16,650 per year after tax) and spends £985 each month to rent a two-bedroom flat in Bristol with her boyfriend. Until 2015 she lived in London, where she was earning £23k and spending £620 on rent each month. One of her motivations for leaving the capital was to reduce her living costs, but Bristol is now named by Shelter as one of the areas worst affected by the rentquake.
"Sometimes in London it felt like I was working just to survive rather than live, especially in my first roles after graduating when I was on £18-20k. I really had to watch what I was spending on weekly food shopping and would often walk for an hour or more to avoid Tube and bus fares," she told Refinery29 UK. Nowadays she walks to work, cutting the cost of travel, but has noticed an increase in the cost of living and entertainment in Bristol in recent years.
"Something needs to be done about the cost of housing. People can’t afford homes in the areas of the city that they grew up in and it’s becoming impossible for younger people to buy their own homes if they aren’t able to stay at home and save," she said. "The cost of living, in terms of food, clothes and entertainment, increasing is one thing, because supply and manufacturing costs etc. go up, but I don’t see the reason for homes – which shouldn’t be considered a luxury for anybody – following the same pattern. Everyone should have somewhere they can afford to live."
Ola, who is 30, rents in Barking, which is the epicentre of what people are calling the 'rentquake'. She lives in the town centre where back in 2014, her monthly rent there was £860. Now she pays £900 for her 2 bed apartment. Rent is “definitely going up” she says, and while no one wants to pay more to agencies and landlords she adds that at least she sees some redevelopment that is benefiting the area. Her rent might be high, but she says it would be much steeper if she were in inner London.
With private renters now making up 4.7 million (or 20%) of all UK households, according to the most recent English Housing Survey, it’s clear something needs to be done to tackle the problem – and fast.
The top 20 areas where rents rose above average wages the most between 2011-2017
Barking and Dagenham (40% difference between change in average rent and change in household wages) Elmbridge (36%) South Oxfordshire (35%) Dartford (34%) Kingston upon Thames (32%) City of Bristol (32%) Daventry (31%) Wycombe (31%) Sutton (30%) Tunbridge Wells (28%) Cambridge (26%) Milton Keynes (26%) Harrow (26%) Lewes (26%) Rugby (25%) Waltham Forest (25%) Newham (25%) Merton (25%) Redbridge (25%) East Hertfordshire (25%)
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According to arecent study by theUSC Annenberg Inclusion Initiative, film criticism is a field overwhelmingly dominated by (surprise, surprise) white men. Not anymore. In Refinery29's new series, our female movie critic will give fresh consideration to the movies we love, hate, or love to hate. It's time for a rewrite.
“Hell is a teenage girl,” Anita "Needy" Lesnicki (Amanda Seyfried) says early on in Jennifer’s Body. It’s a play on Jean Paul Sartre’s famous quip from the 1944 existentialist play “No Exit” (“Hell is other people.”), but it also serves as a warning of what’s to come: a hybrid horror and teen angst film that tracks the ups and downs of a female friendship. Because if being a teenage girl is hell, being friends with one is possibly even worse.
Helmed by director Karyn Kusama and written by Diablo Cody, fresh off an Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay for Juno, Jennifer’s Body had all the makings of a provocative feminist tale. But when Jennifer’s Body hit cinemas in 2009, it floundered critically, scraping by with a 44% Rotten Tomatoes rating. James Berardinelli at Reel Views called it a “spectacular disaster,” and “the kind of thing a cat might bury in a litter box and still keep building the covering because the stench can't be smothered.” Claudia Puig at USA Todaycompared the film to its opening scene, which shows Jennifer (Megan Fox) picking at a healing scab: “While intending to reveal something creepy and hidden from view, it lacks a sense of suspense and real twisted-ness. It wears its goriness like an affectation, so one is never truly invested in the tale.”
Most reviews feature some sort of comparison to Cody’s out-of-nowhere 2007 success, Juno. As the much-hyped follow up, that’s not entirely surprising. What’s disquieting is the tone with which the observations are made — as if by this one critical failure, Cody had signed her own Hollywood death warrant. At A.V. Club, Scott Tobias, who gave the film a D+ rating, wrote: "When you win an Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay, as Diablo Cody did with her debut script for Juno in 2007, you have reason to feel confident in your talent. For Cody, this turns out to be a dangerous prospect."
Are filmmakers banned after one flop? Someone should tell Woody Allen — oh, wait. He’s a man. Tobias wasn’t entirely off the mark. Women don’t often get second chances in Hollywood. It’s worth noting that Kusama largely shifted to directing television after this film. Her next feature project, Destroyer, starring Sebastian Stan, Tatiana Maslany, and Nicole Kidman, will premiere in December 2018. Cody went on to write another controversial film, Young Adult, and took a TV pause herself (writing for The United States of Tara and One Mississippi) before returning to the big screen earlier this year with Tully, starring Charlize Theron.
Perhaps because of the way the film’s marketing highlighted star Megan Fox’s bombshell status, and a highly publicised girl-on-girl kiss scene, others seemed disappointed that the film was less bawdy than they’d anticipated. Ted Boynton at Pajibalamented that “real life Seyfried is a luscious bit of blonde honeycomb, but in the world of Jennifer's Body she magically turns into a geek with the simple application of the sexy librarian costume from the prop department.” Roger Ebert, who ultimately gave the film a three-star rating, nonetheless called it " Twilight for boys, with Megan Fox in the Robert Pattinson role, except that I recall Pattinson was shirtless.”
Ironically, Jennifer’s Body was also controversial among women, who had the opposite reaction to the perceived oversexualisation of its characters. “Its calculated eroticism is enough to make you long for the tyranny of the male gaze,” Stephanie Zacharek wrote for Salon. Meanwhile, feminist website Jezebel championed the movie, and published a list of six reasons to love it in response to the backlash.
It seemed nobody could make up their mind: Was Jennifer’s Body a failed B-horror film relying on not-so-sexy sex and wannabe Juno -esque dialogue to make things click? Or was it a deep dive into the convoluted, complex, and sometimes toxic nature of teen female friendships wrapped in the trappings of grindhouse horror?
My question is: Why does one have to cancel out the other?
If one only takes the story at face value, the idea of one’s best friend turning into a terrorising flesh-eating succubus that targets high school boys feels fairly unrelatable. In the real world, there are other ways to retain a glass skin glow than feasting on football jocks. If pure horror is what you’re looking for, Jennifer’s Body,s bound to be a disappointment. It’s no Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which also used demonic activity as a foil for teenage problems while still providing some truly terrifying moments (The Gentlemen!). In hindsight, Jennifer’s Body feels more like a precursor to Riverdale, a show that has managed to effectively merge the campier elements of of horror with teen high school drama to great success. But dig through the goop of blood and gore, and what you ultimately end up with is the story of a relationship so closely entwined that it becomes self-destructive. And that’s where Jennifer’s Body hits its stride.
Needy and Jennifer have been friends since childhood. “Sandbox love never dies,” the former says early on. That may be true on some level, but people evolve. And in this case, Jennifer has grown into the local high school hottie, all crop hoodies and Juicy Tube lip gloss (gotta love 2009), while Needy is the one most likely to help you finish your math homework on time. Still, “Vagisil” and “Monistat,” as their nicknames for each other go, are as close as ever.
One night, Jennifer drags Needy to the town’s seedy bar to see an “extra salty” indie band play, an outing that ends in tragedy. A mysterious fire burns down the bar, resulting in massive casualties, while a fateful encounter with the Satanist lead singer (played with devilish mirth by Adam Brody in black eyeliner) turns Jennifer into a dangerous creature straight from hell.
Thus begins a killing spree that sends the aptly named town of Devil’s Kettle into a tailspin. Jennifer targets the boys of her high school, turning their lust for her perfect body to her advantage and an easy meal ticket. When she’s full, her skin is luminescent with a glow even Gwyneth Paltrow might struggle to bottle. When she’s hungry, she’s “ugly” and dull — as far as that’s possible when one looks like Fox.
Looking back, this seems like a prescient premise. The reason so many reviews note the film’s unsatisfactory sexual content is because, in marketing Jennifer’s Body to the male gaze, its creators also subverted it. Come for the scene of Jennifer and Needy making out, get hit in the face with an hour and forty-seven minutes of female storytelling. How do you like that, boys?
What’s more, in a post-MeToo context, the idea of a woman’s body being used for men’s gain (even if it’s a prize as lame as indie rock fame), and her coping with this violation by using her sexuality to entrap and feed on those who once objectified her, feels like something to be celebrated, not mocked. Had this film been made a decade later, it’s possible Fox could have been heralded as the feminist revenge hero of our time. In fact, the reason Jennifer becomes a demon in the first place, rather than just dying from the violent stab wounds inflicted on her by emo Seth Cohen and his band while sacrificing her to the devil, is because they wrongly believed her to be a virgin. In complete opposition to tired horror tropes, a woman is, in a way, saved by her sexual experience, rising anew to wreak revenge on those who’ve wronged her. What’s more, the film also showed Needy, the so-called “nice girl,” losing her virginity to her boyfriend. Shocker: Girls who wear glasses can enjoy sex, too.
Still, in this case, subverting female horror tropes comes at the cost of leaning into others. Just like Juno, everyone in this movie is overwhelmingly white. The only person of colour, an Indian exchange student, dies in the first half of the film.
And it’s true, the horror scenes in question are pretty bland. Jennifer’s demon face, complete with sharp Venom-like teeth, only reveals itself when she’s about to feast on her prey, and despite the blood and that black gunk that she spews onto Needy’s floor after confronting her for the first time, it all feels rather tame. Still, the real horror of Jennifer’s Body isn’t really in Jennifer’s actions. Even in the film’s early scenes, one gets the sense that Jennifer was a demon long before she actually became one.
Hollywood loves girl-on-girl fighting. What’s interesting about Jennifer’s Body is that the tension in Needy and Jennifer’s relationship feels less like a catfight orchestrated by male executives to please a male audience, and more like a woman’s perspective on the most troubling aspect of a precious relationship. Teenage female friendships are fraught; they can be more intimate than romantic entanglements, and a source of comfort, joy, and well-being. But there’s also an aspect of rivalry, of possessivity bordering on covetousness. You both want to have your best friend to yourself, to own her, but also be better than her, and surpass her.
It’s pretty clear that Jennifer and Needy’s relationship has swung too far in the latter direction, to the point where one is hanging out with the other to fulfil a power trip, while the other is in it out of genuine loyalty, but also co-dependence. But while many critics found their relationship hard to believe, I don’t. “Sandbox love never dies,” is a fancy catchphrase to describe a true phenomenon. Friends who have been friends for a long time often remain so far longer than is logical, or even good for them. The fact that Needy comes into her own by the end of the film feels like justice for every girl who’s ever felt like she’d never emerge from under her best friend’s shadow.
In a way, Jennifer’s Body was foiled by its own demon: the spectre of Juno. But the comparisons aren’t entirely unfounded. Jennifer’s Body is full of the same quippy, pop-culture-heavy, slang-laden dialogue as Juno. But those breezy one liners sound a lot clunkier coming from Fox than they did Ellen Page. (Can anyone really pull off “Move on dot org”?)
The film’s stars had a lot riding on the film. After roles in Mean Girls and Mamma Mia, this was Seyfried’s chance at an edgier image. By the end of the movie, Needy’s taking charge, a wallflower no more, and Seyfried sells it. She has an innate ability to look both childish and sweet when called for, but is an eerily credible asylum inmate. I would love to see her take on Piper Chapman (Taylor Schilling) on Orange Is The New Black. As for Fox, the movie was a way out of the Transformers hot girl persona that has nonetheless come to define her career. And say what you will about her acting abilities, she has a magnetic quality that feels otherworldly.
Jennifer may be a mean girl possessed by a demon, and her murderous rampage sets her up as someone who needs to be stopped, but she’s also a victim. She’s a beautiful girl with low self-esteem whose been taught that her entire self-worth is wrapped up in her looks and sex appeal. Wouldn’t you want revenge for that?
And that’s the thing: Jennifer’s Body may have its technical flaws , but viewing the film nearly a decade after its release feels like experiencing the beginning of something that hadn’t quite taken form yet. Thematically, it hits on so many of the issues women in Hollywood are talking about in the aftermath of #MeToo and Times Up that I find it hard to believe it would have been as critically panned today. Hell may be a teenage girl, but some realities are in need of a scourge.
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There are many reasons why you might have a different surname from the rest of your family – maybe you decided not to take your partner’s name, or you didn’t want to get married; you might be a same-sex parent or you could be divorced. The list could go on…
However, under the Home Office’s official advice, if you’re a family travelling abroad with different surnames from your children, you should be ready with documents to prove your relationship with your child. Specific examples on their website include a birth or adoption certificate, divorce or marriage certificates, or a letter from the child’s other parent giving permission for the child to travel with you.
As the playgrounds get busier, and the ice cream lines get longer, more and more families are heading to the airports for their summer holiday – and a recent tweet from the Home Office has left Twitter frazzled.
Many users have reacted to the policy as ‘archaic’, and not fit for purpose in 2018.
They will bring in mandatory marriages next! JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE SAME SURNAME AS YOUR CHILD IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE NOT KIDNAPPING THEM OR PUTTING THEM AT HARM!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sophie Walker, leader of the Women’s Equality Party, added: "So if my daughter travels with her dad, there’s no problem. If she travels with me, I have to have additional paperwork and an explanation of why I haven’t removed my own name & replaced it with his? Victorian border control. Anti-women, discriminatory nonsense from @sajidjavid."
So many modern families have different surnames, with LGBT couples adopting, women choosing to keep their maiden names, and children double-barelling. This is just another way to enforce a heterosexual family unit and that women take their husband’s name after marriage. https://t.co/ny4F8Al0ES
Packing for your family is stressful at the best of times; no matter how many times you check, there will always be that niggle that you’ve forgotten something. That feeling was all too real for Stacey Flynn as she prepared for her first trip abroad with her son, since his father’s passing. One thing that she definitely didn’t think to bring, alongside suncream and plug adapters, was the death certificate of her late partner.
Three years ago, Stacey’s partner Liam tragically died at the age of 28 in a motorcycle accident. As the couple were unmarried, like many children, their 4-year-old son has his dad’s surname. After an exhausting day of travelling, Stacey and her son were next in line at Luton’s passport control. Already distracted and thinking ahead to going home to an empty fridge and back to reality, Stacey was even more taken aback by the robust questioning of her 4-year-old.
Her son was questioned in front of her about who she was, and where they'd been, just because they didn’t share a surname. She replays how confused and disorientating it was for her toddler, who had just lost his dad. He had been raised not to talk to strangers, but then was being questioned about who his mum was at a busy, chaotic airport.
The shock came first, then the realisation that she would have to tell a stranger that the father of her child is dead every time they travel. Her son’s childhood was already tainted by the loss of a parent, and now every time they escaped on holiday they would have to 'prove it'.
Stacey added: "The worst part of every holiday abroad, since my son’s dad passed away, is packing the death certificate... most people get excited packing to go away but it’s one of the parts I dread because I know I have to carry that document around for a week."
Holidays shouldn't be traumatic, but Stacey describes the overwhelming anxiety that is heightened by the weight of carrying around a reminder of Liam’s death. Since he passed away Stacey has been struggling with anxiety attacks, and has been given medication to help, but she says that despite this airports are still very triggering. "I get nervous about being stopped in case I'm questioned on my situation and I feel sorry for my son being questioned," she added.
When Dr Pragya Agarwal travels, she has to carry her daughter’s birth certificate and proof that she has sole custody. Her daughter has a different surname from her, and Pragya has a different surname from her husband, causing confusion for customs and border control. "When we travelled together I was stopped at immigration a few times. Being a PoC didn't help. I found it very distressing and my daughter found it more stressful and distressing every time we were questioned and stopped."
Pragya recalls one time in particular where she saw her daughter’s tiny face crumple up with fear, asking why they were stopped and no one else was. "So terrible for a little child to feel like that, to feel different to others, and to feel embarrassed. But I tried to talk to her about it honestly. She was asked where her father was, and she hadn’t really lived with him and didn’t know him well but to be reminded of that again was so traumatic. It was like we had to be defined by a man."
Furthermore, when she travelled with her white partner, who is her daughter's stepdad (with a different surname), they were never stopped. Pragya wants to see the government have policies that represent families that come in all shapes, sizes and surnames.
Some people on Twitter have been highlighting the importance of these measures to protect children from trafficking and kidnapping. In what looks like a response to the outcry, the Home Office has replied to its tweet with a video explaining the reasoning behind the policy.
"We have a duty to safeguard children and to prevent people trafficking, child sexual exploitation and other crimes committed against children. That is why Border Force staff need to be content that the adult travelling with the child has parental responsibility or parental authority has been given to travel with the child. We aim to do this quickly and with as minimal disruption to passengers as possible."
We have a duty to safeguard children and to prevent people trafficking, child sexual exploitation and other crimes. That is why Border Force officers sometimes need to ask additional questions. More information: https://t.co/VuGbRJn8DIpic.twitter.com/dMd0Uvk7zJ
To this Jill Rose asks: "I would still like to know how a letter from his father, that I could have forged, would have made him any safer or removed from the risk of trafficking?"
"Could family passports be considered until the child is 18? Or legal guardian/parent names on the child’s passport? If another adult wishes to take the child anywhere, the legal guardians would give formal permission beforehand, and documents could be issued."
Many of the parents sharing their experiences of proving their relationship with their children think it’s time for the Home Office to update its advice to reflect and respect the diverse families in the UK. Maybe the current outcry will change things.
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I remember sitting across from my mom at the kitchen table in small-town Minnesota and I asked her: "Have I ever posted anything online that made you nervous?" She smiled, looked down at her coffee. "The first time you posted a photo of you in your underwear and bra I cringed," she said. "But then I started to read comments from women you were helping, and I knew your mission was so much bigger."
It all started three years ago when I finally decided to share the hidden struggle behind a seemingly successful woman: I hated my body. I candidly opened up about the things I had hidden from my followers due to fear and explained why I never post photos of myself. The floodgates opened, and so many messages started hitting my inbox from women who had felt the exact same way.
Since then, I've openly shared the highs and lows of my own complicated journey towards self-love. My story has had many twists and turns, but the message has always remained the same: Self-love is a choice. It's not an easy one, it's a daily one, and it requires more self-work than most are willing to take on. Over the last seven years, I've built a business that empowers people to do what they love and to pursue their wildest dreams. But my quest towards loving myself has taken more time and energy than my seven-figure business. Every day I wake up and face the mirror with a decision: Is today the day that I pick myself apart with hatred, or will today be a day that I see my strength and power and honour that?
Being thrust into the spotlight as a woman leading the self-love charge has been anything but easy, especially when real life is happening behind-the-scenes. I've publicly shared our struggles with fertility, our two miscarriages, and now my pregnancy. I've opened up about how our losses impacted the way I felt in my skin, I showed up when loving myself was the hardest act, and I never shied away from the criticism I received from strangers on the internet. Each message I write is shared with a single follower — someone I've imagined that resembles the child I once was — in hopes that I can be the woman that young Jenna needed.
Recently, I was named the newest #AerieREAL Role Model, and it's one of my proudest accomplishments to date. Since that first post three years ago, I've watched closely as Aerie has led the way in body positivity, inclusivity, and empowering women. I've been connected to their mission and have worked alongside them for years in the quest to truly lead women to find confidence within.
Arriving at my first shoot with Aerie at 12 weeks pregnant (and utterly taken over with morning sickness), I was reminded to just show up — real, not retouched. It was refreshing to watch women come alive on set, to see their beauty as unique. By the end of the day, we were all running around in our underwear and hugging one another. The gift of permission to accept ourselves and one another that was given to us in an unexpected setting.
Now, as I journey into this new season of life through pregnancy and motherhood, I am so excited to take the Aerie girls with me and share how powerful and incredible our bodies are. I'm excited to continue to keep it real when it comes to body talk, and I am so thankful to have Aerie with me, walking through this miracle every step of the way. We need to change the way beauty is defined, we need to shift the media messaging, we have to strive to be more inclusive in all ways, we need to be the representation we wish were seeing and we get the gift of being able to celebrate the incredible force that we are as women. I never dreamed that a small-town, size 10, Midwestern girl would be the one to change the world, but it's a role that I am honored to fill and every day I do my best to write a story that will someday become my legacy.
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Whether it's a friendship, romantic partner, or family member, a key part of any relationship is to support each other, and to be able to depend on one another on some level. But over-dependence on someone — to the point of being controlled or manipulated by them — can manifest itself in codependency, in which one person goes above and beyond to please someone who isn't reciprocating.
The difference between being codependent and just being super-supportive, though, can be hard to pin down.
"Being supportive is great, you’re there for a friend," says Vera Eck, MFT, a psychotherapist based in Los Angeles. "That’s just being a good friend. But if you’re the person everyone goes to, where it’s just a one way street and you’re doing all the giving and there’s no reciprocity, then that is unhealthy."
The line, she says, should be drawn "when helping others hurts you." In other words, if you're consistently overextending yourself to be there for someone at the cost of your own needs, that could be a sign of an unhealthy dynamic. Other signs of codependency? Feeling the need to be needed by someone, feeing sad or lonely without the other person, and blaming yourself for all the issues in your relationship.
Your needs can’t be met if someone doesn’t know they’re there.
Eck says that people predisposed to being codependent on someone else might have something in their own lives that they're trying to avoid, so they compensate by focusing on someone else's.
If you feel as if your relationship with someone is taking a turn into codependent territory, Eck says you can start addressing it by trying to establish some boundaries — maybe by openly communicating your worries to the other person, taking time to yourself, or even seeing a codependent support group to talk out your worries.
"What you have to do is, in general, to have healthy boundaries, so you know when you’re helping someone a lot and you’re getting drained," she says. "You have to stop before it hurts you, before you lose sleep over it."
Of course, that's easier said than done, but if you feel taken advantage of in a relationship, or you feel like you're going out of your way for someone who isn't quite doing the same, it's better to speak up before it eats away at you.
"You can’t change anyone but yourself," she says. "Your needs can’t be met if someone doesn’t know they’re there."
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Getting a good night's sleep may be tricky this summer, especially with a second heatwave upon us. When temperatures rise you might be tempted to rip your clothes off and wear nowt but your trusty birthday suit to bed but lightweight, breathable pyjamas will actually keep you cooler.
According to the National Sleep Council, the ideal temperature for a good night's sleep is between 16-18 ° C but it varies from person to person. To keep cool and comfortable, opt for natural fibres like cotton, linen or silk. Those fabrics act like built-in air conditioners on warm summer nights. They are light so let air flow freely, regulate your body heat and keep the body dry and cool. Synthetic fibres are more likely to leave you feeling sweaty and uncomfortable.
Here are some of our favourite summer sets and separates. Nighty night!
