When I was younger, my Greek grandmother used to slather my hair in locally pressed olive oil, clean my face with fresh rosewater and present me with mud masks she'd whipped up using the mineral-rich red soil that grew watermelons in the field next to her little island lodge.

As a born and bred Londoner, beauty and my ethnic identity went hand in hand. Even today, my current routine is inspired by those inherited beauty rituals – and I'm not the only one.

From Liha and Abi who launched African-English beauty brand LIHA, to Elena and Inna at Cypriot skincare brand Kypwell, we're seeing more and more beauty empires built upon the skin, hair and makeup traditions reminiscent of their founders' cultural backgrounds. Ingredients and practices are no longer confined to family circles. Now, everyone gets a slice of the beauty pie.

Click through to discover your new go-tos.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

How Probiotics Could Help You Achieve Your Healthiest Hair Yet

Julia Roberts Just Got The Dreamiest Haircut For Spring

The Minimalist Guide To Chic — & Easy — Nail Art

Trigger warning: Some readers may find the following article distressing.

It’s been eight years and I still think about it every day. Sometimes for hours a day. Once you kill someone, life can never be the same again.

It happened on a bright sunny afternoon in late March, one of those unseasonably warm days that hints of the promise of summer to come. I was 28 and five months earlier I’d had my first child, a daughter, and I was just getting into the swing of motherhood after the hazy, sleep-starved first few months.

It was a Wednesday so my husband was at work, and I’d decided to take our daughter to the supermarket to get some bits for dinner, more as an activity to get us out of the house than any actual need.

This next bit is very hard to describe. And – perhaps this is the mind’s way of coping – I honestly can’t remember much of it. The sun was low in the sky, and as I drove off I remember flicking the sun visor down because it was so bright.

It was only a few minutes after I’d left the supermarket car park that I hit a pedestrian who was crossing the road. I remember braking hard, I remember his body hitting the windscreen, the shock of the impact reverberating around the car, the sound of smashing glass and someone screaming, which I quickly realised was me.

The next bit feels like a horror film. I turned my head to check on my daughter in the car seat behind me, before getting out and looking down at the man lying in the road.

All I remember was his grey hair and lots of blood. There were several people around my car, and a couple were already crouched down by the man’s head. There seemed to be people and cars surrounding me but I don’t remember much noise.

What must have only been moments later, a lady steered me to my daughter who I got out and walked away towards the back of my car. I felt like I was watching a film about my life and none of this was really happening. My hearing felt strange, as if I’d been plunged into water.

The ambulance seemed to arrive immediately, along with the police. I kept asking over and over how the man was, and one of the paramedics sat with me and my daughter in the back of an ambulance. I was like a zombie, but he helped me phone my husband. I couldn’t begin to think of how to say what had happened. I’ll never forget the look of sorrow and compassion on his face when he arrived.

The man was pronounced dead at the scene. I felt completely hollowed out and destroyed. My husband spoke to the police before taking me and my daughter home. There, I sat in a kitchen chair wailing, unable to hide my distress from my child. My sister came over so my husband could take me to the police station to give a statement. They treated me with kindness I didn’t feel I deserved, but wanted a level of detail I simply didn’t have. I remember endlessly repeating that it was my fault, and asking questions about the man who had died.

I was given an interim driving ban and sent home. There, despair enveloped me. A full stop was placed on what my life had been up until that point. I couldn’t think of anything other than the fact I had taken a life, and the unimaginable pain I had caused the victim and his family.

The days that followed are a blur of being catatonic or crying, while my husband did everything. Other than my family and best friend, people stayed away and I didn’t blame them.

The darkness that descended made me believe I had no right to go on living, and I felt a desperate wish to swap places with the man who had died. The story was in the local paper and online, and I was sickened to read my name but desperate to know about the man I had killed. He was in his 70s and left behind a wife, two children and grandchildren.

Weeks later at the inquest I pleaded guilty to causing death by dangerous driving. I hadn’t been drinking, I wasn’t speeding, and the driving conditions were difficult, but I didn’t want to carry on with my life the way it was. I wanted punishment – meaning prison – even though it would be torture to be separated from my husband and child.

The judge said that what happened had had an absolutely devastating effect on me, and that a prison sentence would not be appropriate, for reasons including the driving conditions and the fact I had a young child. You might expect some relief, but I felt a new wave of guilt. No verdict could change things, and my new life felt worse than any prison sentence.

I endlessly ask myself why this accident happened. I don’t believe in God, but for months I felt convinced it was karma, and that I somehow deserved what was happening. After the inquest I wanted to reach out to the victim’s family but knew this was probably selfish.

I’ve been in weekly counselling ever since, which has been a lifeline that’s helped me to process the trauma, guilt and responsibility. But eight years on I still feel my life is overshadowed by that one defining event. I often imagine my obituary as just a single line: 'When she was 28 she killed a man.'

I’ve never met any other people who’ve been through anything similar, but I’ve read a lot about CADIs (Causing Accidental Death or Injury) online, which has helped me understand that I’m not alone. I’m still too sickened to google myself and see the headlines, and doubt I ever will.

A couple of years after the accident we moved to a more rural town, so I do drive again now, but my anxiety often overwhelms me and I avoid driving when it's sunny or dark.

I feel a guilt no words can describe. But whatever the trauma has robbed me of is nothing compared to the pain the victim’s family continue to endure. There is no easy path to peace for me, and I know there never will be.

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this article and would like to talk to someone, visit Mind, call 0300 123 3393, or text 86463.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

I Quit My Job At Vogue To Become A Full-Time Astrologer

How To Really, Truly Get Over A Breakup

24 First Dates That Aren't Dinner & A Movie

Nesting may not be a top priority during the summer months, and right now it feels particularly sacrilegious not to be taking advantage of the UK's current heatwave (hello, outdoor pools and rooftop bars).

But though it pains us to acknowledge, the weather will turn soon enough. Hygge will be back on the agenda and the flats and houses we've been neglecting all summer will require some extra TLC. So it's just as well that IKEA has released its 2018 Autumn/Winter look book, containing four key trends that look set to take over the world of #interiors next season.

From furniture and patterns inspired by the past and products made from environmentally friendly materials and natural fibres, to items inspired by two distinct colour trends, there's a lot to look forward to if you're planning on combatting the post-summer blues by sprucing up your home.

Click through to see what will be dominating homeware inspo Pinterest boards across the land over the coming months...

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Experts Say These Are The Best, Easiest Houseplants To Own

Two Experts Answer Every Question You've Ever Had About Tiny Homes

I Live In A One-Bedroom Apartment In Brooklyn — & My Rent Is £1,150 A Month

It doesn't get as much attention as the full moon, but the new moon has plenty to offer us. Sure, its effects are usually subtle, but this month's new moon might flip that reputation on its head.

July's new moon will arrive this Thursday night in watery-eyed Cancer. If you follow the spiritual implications of the lunar cycle, you already know that this phase, in which the moon isn't illuminated at all and loses visibility in the sky, is always associated with introspection, reflection, and our innermost feelings. But, since the moon will be hanging out in the sign of the Crab when it goes dark, we might feel these effects much more intensely than usual.

As a water sign ruled by the moon, Cancer has long been known as an intuitive, caring, and maybe at times moody, sign. We're currently in the midst of Cancer's solar season, which kicked off on the summer solstice in June, so you might be more tuned into your feelings already. Add that to the fact that this Thursday, Cancer's influence will work in tandem with the new moon's energy to make our moods and memories even more difficult to ignore. If emotional sensitivity could be quantified, it's likely to be turned up to 11 this Thursday — and possibly into Friday.

Before you resign yourself to a night of watching tearjerkers and, essentially, wallowing with abandon, the new moon in Cancer can be productive.

Cancer is also connected to maternal and familial matters, so this new moon could be a great time to call your mom or any other important caregiver in your life. You can call just to catch up, but if this lunar event is nudging you to dig a little deeper (as new moons tend to do), consider preparing a little message of thanks for the love they've shown you over the years before dialling them up.

You can do a similar gratitude ritual for yourself: If you keep a journal, write yourself a letter about your latest triumph. Or, if you want to keep it short and sweet, write down a positive intention (maybe one that encourages you to celebrate even the smallest victories) and stick it to your bathroom mirror. The new moon is your monthly opportunity for quiet self-care and there's nothing quite as restorative as reminding yourself of your accomplishments.

That said, if all you want to do this Thursday is wallow with your favourite book or Lifetime original movie, that's a wonderful way to honour the new moon in Cancer, too. As we all know, there's nothing wrong with a good cry every so often.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

I Quit My Job At Vogue To Become A Full-Time Astrologer

How Your Sign Survives Mercury Retrograde

A Beginner's Guide To Reading Palms

On the way back from a recent camping trip, period activist Cass Bliss stopped at a gas station to change their tampon. But first, they counted the cars in the parking lot. Then, walking into the station, they glanced at the checkout counter (was a man or a woman manning the register?). And then, they scanned the store, looking for signs that anyone would be hostile. Then, finally, they checked the bathroom situation. Was there a single stall bathroom that everyone used? Or multi-stalled men's and women's rooms? The latter could be dangerous for Bliss.

As a non-binary person who presents masculine, the possibility that someone might harass them in a public bathroom is always on Bliss's mind, but it's especially pressing when they have to deal with their period. "You always have to scout out exactly what the scenario is before you can even think about going to the bathroom," Bliss says. Because the fear of violence enacted against a transgender person for using the "wrong" bathroom is still very real. Bliss, for example, has been told to leave both the men's and the women's bathrooms because someone clocked them as a woman or a man, respectively, and decided that they shouldn't be there. That kind of violence and misunderstanding makes it even more difficult for trans men to deal with and talk about their periods than it is for cisgender women, who still deal with plenty of shame and stigma about their monthly bleed. (Be honest, how many of us are still sneaking tampons into the bathroom?)

But, the shame cisgender women feel when they sheepishly bring a package of tampons to checkout is compounded for transmasculine people who menstruate. Many cisgender people don't think that a man (or masculine-presenting person) can have a period. And that ignorance leads to many subtle and not-so-subtle ways that trans men are told their bodies don't belong. So, with a new parody video that's equal parts funny and serious, Bliss is trying to shed some of that shame and educate people about what it's really like to bleed while trans. In the video, Bliss sings along to the tune of The Beatles' Let It Be, but changes the words to Let Us Bleed.

While the tone of the song is lighthearted, the words point to several problems transgender men experience in public bathrooms while on their periods. In one scene, Bliss changes their pad in a men's restroom and then has to roll it up and put it in their pocket because there aren't trash cans inside the stalls. And in another, they walk down an aisle full of pink and purple period products, lamenting how everyone who makes and markets pads and tampons assume that only women use them. "It's literally called the 'feminine' hygiene aisle," they say. "And walking through that, even though I don't completely pass as a man, I still get a lot of weird looks. People think that I'm buying period products for someone else, and they don't really want me to be in the aisle with them."

People have actually swerved away from the period aisle because they didn't want to stand there while Bliss was looking through the menstrual products. And buying products is only one concern. Once trans men and masculine-presenting non-binary people have tampons, pads, or menstrual cups, they have to find a way to carry them around. "I’ve heard of transmasculine folks who made a point to always wear darker coloured trousers or cargo pants to conceal needing to have hygiene products on their person, and even layering clothing," says Emmett Schelling, Executive Director of the Transgender Education Network of Texas.

Feeling the need to conceal tampons and pads is a worry cisgender women can probably relate to, as is the worry that someone in the stall next to you will hear the crinkling of a pad or tampon wrapper and know that you're on your period. But, again, that kind of shame is multiplied for transmasculine people, especially if they're using a men's restroom. "There's a paranoia attached to the noise that hygiene products make, as well as how to dispose of it, and the constant fear of having an accident or leaking through clothing," Schelling says. Before he medically transitioned (testosterone often causes trans men to lose their periods after a few months), he would avoid leaving his house while on his period, just in case he had an accident.

For cisgender women, bleeding through your trousers can be embarrassing. For transgender men, it can be dangerous. Because most of the cisgender men they share bathrooms with don't expect to see someone carry a tampon inside the stall, or hear the distinctive sound a pad makes when you rip it open, or throw period products into the trash can outside. Seeing any of those things inside a men's bathroom immediately outs a transgender person, which can open them up to harassment or physical violence.

Many of these problems would be alleviated if men's bathrooms were made with menstruation in mind, but we may still be a long way off from that change. For now, Bliss is hoping this video brings some awareness about what it's like to be a menstruating man. "There's only so much that just knowing men can menstruate too is going to do," they say. "But actually knowing what it's like is essential. For all the barriers you can imagine for someone menstruating, it's often going to be two or three-fold if you don't identify as a woman."

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

4 Things Everyone Should Know About Endometriosis

All The Exhaustive Reasons Why You Can't Sleep At Night

Why People With Endometriosis Are Photographing Their Scars

There's no question that online dating moves fast. After all, that's one of the benefits. But sometimes, swiping left and right so quickly seems to translate into IRL dating, too. Many of us have gone out with someone once and then moved on, thanks to a lack of spark or totally mismatched lifestyles. Sometimes, that kind of quick judgement on a date feels 100% right. But other times you might wonder if you were too quick to reject someone and consider reaching back out. You'll have to ask yourself: Is circling back to an ex-Tinder date ever a good idea?

It depends on why you're doing it, says Samantha Burns, dating coach and author of Breaking Up & Bouncing Back. If you're considering an old match because you've run out of other options in the online dating pool, then that's not a good enough reason, she says. Most of the time, whatever turned you off of the person — be it poor communication skills, a lack of attraction, or mismatching values — will still be a problem. But, if you've realised that you didn't give them enough time or attention on the first round of dates, then reaching out could be a good thing.

"The only reason you should give an old Tinder date a second chance is if you can answer the question, 'Why didn’t it work out the first time around?' and then be able to justify what’s changed," she says. The first time you went out with someone you might have been swamped with work, or you just moved, or weren't over your ex and therefore couldn't prioritise trying to get to know someone new. In those cases, your date didn't really get a fair shot, so it might be worth revisiting whether or not you have chemistry.

But, you may also have relied too heavily on chemistry the first time and ruled someone out if you didn't feel an immediate connection. "Many of today's daters get hung up on superficial issues, such as differing tastes in music or how someone chews their food," Burns says. "Or, they unrealistically expect fireworks from an hour-long date." Many people aren't thinking about how attraction can grow over time, especially as you and a date become more emotionally intimate. The quick-swipe mentality of online dating doesn't work when you're trying to find out whether or not you're emotionally compatible with a match, she says. So if you're ruling people out without first having important conversations about what you and they are looking for in a partner, then you might be missing out on a great match.

What that means, of course, is that you first need to know what you want from a relationship. To become a smarter, more intentional dater, you'll have to work on knowing yourself first, Burns says. "If you don’t know what you want, and how you want to feel about it, you won’t know if and when you’ve found it," she says.

Once you've done the work to know what you want out of a relationship, some of the people you dated once or twice and then passed on might suddenly seem like good potential matches. Because maybe you didn't give them enough time to charm you or ask the questions that really matter. If that's the case, go ahead and reach out again, Burns says. At worst, they'll say no.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

How To Really, Truly Get Over A Breakup

24 First Dates That Aren't Dinner & A Movie

How To Get Someone Out Of Your Head

Summer is here, and so is holiday season. And just like the rest of us, therapists need to go on vacation too. But what does it mean for you when your therapist is out of office for an extended period of time?

Thankfully, it's likely that your therapist has already thought this through and has a contingency plan in place. How much notice they'll give you beforehand will vary from therapist to therapist, but Susanne Babbel, PhD, a therapist based in San Francisco, says she usually likes to give her patients four weeks notice.

"I make sure not to start working on new material so that my patients are not left with feelings that could be too upsetting or too hard to handle on their own," she says, adding that she'll discuss her temporary absence with the patient one-on-one during a session, in case it brings up any feelings of abandonment, rejection, not feeling safe, frustrations, or even old trauma.

Dr. Babbel says that if the patient needs it, she might work also on putting together what she calls a "transitional object" that the patient can use as a reminder of their time in therapy together.

"A reminder can be a written note, my online recordings such as YouTube to hear my voice, or sometimes I give them a stuffed animal from my office they can borrow," she says.

Of course, if someone is having a mental health emergency, the best course of action would be to contact a crisis hotline like the Samaritans or even 999, but otherwise, it could be helpful to sit down with a therapist before their holiday, and talk through tools and resources to use while they're away.

I want my patients to know that they are taken care of even when I am on vacation.

"I suggest creating a list of psychological tools, resources, and network of supportive friends prior to the therapist’s vacation," she says. "Practicing self-care, compassion, and nurturing oneself during the absence of a therapist is essential, [like] using relaxation techniques, mindful meditations, positive affirmations, [and] going on walks or exercising regularly."

Dr. Babbel also suggests looking up local group therapy options, and keeping a journal of progress to discuss during the next session.

But if that's not enough to quell your anxiety about being away from your therapist (especially if they're going on a long break), rest assured that your therapist can also refer you to someone else in the meantime if you need it.

"I usually contact a couple therapists that I know and ask if they could fill in during my vacation," Dr. Babbel says. If one of those therapists agrees, Dr. Babbel will usually fill them in on her patients' history, and then contact the patients to let them know who they can reach out to if they need support.

In any case, as scary as it might seem to have your therapist be out of commission for a while, just remember that they still care about you, and will make sure you'll be okay in their absence.

"I want my patients to know that they are taken care of even when I am on vacation," Dr. Babbel says.

If you are experiencing depression or anxiety and are in need of crisis support, please contact Samaritans on 116 123. All calls are free and will be answered in confidence.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

8 Interesting & Innovative Products That Will Actually Improve Your Sleep Hygiene

Sleep: You're Doing It Wrong, But We Can Help

Justin Bieber Opens Up About “Struggling” In An Emotional Instagram Post

Each year, cowgirls and cowboys travel across the US to compete in a tradition that has been passed down through generations — but an African American woman has yet to qualify for the National Rodeo Finals. Watch to learn about the women who are about to change that.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Everything We Know About Netflix's New Madeleine McCann Documentary

The Most Jaw-Dropping Details From The US College Cheating Scandal

The US Celebrity College Scandal That's Almost Too Wild To Be True

We now know what Harvey Weinstein is doing during breaks from his courtroom battle.

According to Variety, disgraced movie producer Weinstein entered a plea of "not guilty" during his Monday arraignment in Manhattan. The charge was for sexually assaulting a woman in 2006.

Despite the numerous charges against Weinstein, and allegations of misconduct or inappropriate behaviour by dozens of Hollywood women, his lawyer, Weinstein continues to pursue a career. His lawyer Benjamin Brafman told Refinery29 in a statement that Weinstein "is working diligently with his attorneys helping prepare his defence and also examining various business proposals."

According to Brafman's statement to reporters outside the courtroom, per The Washington Post, Weinstein is also acting as Brafman's own "paralegal." Per Brafman, Weinstein reportedly travels from his home in Westport, Conn., to midtown Manhattan to perform duties for Brafman.

When Refinery29 asked to clarify Weinstein's role as a paralegal, Brafman stated that calling Weinstein his paralegal was a "joke."

Weinstein is also reportedly "developing new scripts" which Weinstein hopes to produce, per Brafman's comments outside the arraignment. It is unclear how this might work, as it's hard to imagine how many people in Hollywood would jump at the chance to work on a Weinstein project at this present time.

Brafman told reporters outside the courtroom, per The Washington Post:

"[Weinstein] is a brilliant maker of movies and scripts and is trying to pursue other projects. Hopefully he can go back to making movies."

Weinstein was expelled from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences in October of 2017 following multiple sexual misconduct allegations. The decision followed that month's New York Times expose titled Harvey Weinstein Paid Off Sexual Harassment Accusers For Decades.

Prior to the July 9 arraignment, Weinstein was previously arraigned in June for charges of first-degree rape, third-degree rape, and a first-degree criminal sexual act. The above stemmed from allegations made by two separate women, while the July 9 arraignment from a third alleged survivor. He has pleaded not guilty to all charges brought against him in court and has previously denied all allegations of non-consensual sex.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Olivia Munn Mocks The Cheating Scandal: "I Went To Harvard To Become An Instagrammer"

Felicity Huffman Released On Bail In College Admissions Scam Case

A Guide To K-Pop Idol Seungri’s Prostitution Scandal

Between working, exercise, side hustles, seeing friends, dating and everything else life throws at us, it's fair to say we're hard pressed for time, but the beauty industry has recognised our struggle. Enter: the one-stop salon – an exciting new beauty destination that houses an array of treatments and specialists offering everything from facials to manicures and beyond, all under one roof.

WAH Nails has been serving up on-point nail art alongside Bam Brows for some time now, while Hershesons saw the biggest beauty hub launch to date with its Berners Street salon, which doubles up as a workspace. And now, Suman Jalaf, the woman behind the best microbladed brows in the city, has opened her first atelier, featuring a handpicked beauty collective offering a plethora of treatments – and we were sold the minute we stepped inside.

"I could see how boring it was for a client waiting for their appointment to start, or while the numbing cream on their brows was drying," Jalaf, who began threading brows in the school playground aged 13, explains. "I wanted them to be able to have their nails done, or a mini facial while they waited – we're all so busy."

SumanBrows, Jalaf's atelier, is based on west London's Brompton Road in the building in which she once held residency alongside the stylists behind Harry's hair salon. The neon-lit and plant-filled space is now all hers, and she's created a relaxing (and totally Instagrammable) environment where you can watch Netflix on a big screen TV, drink a glass of wine and have your treatments done.

Alongside the microneedling and threading that earned her the unofficial title of 'Queen of Brows', there's so much to book in for. We're talking facial aesthetics with Dr. Pam Benito, dry hair styling at a chic hair bar, manicures, lash lifts, facials, waxing and makeup.

We caught up with Jalaf ahead of the launch to talk all things eyebrows.

You began threading brows at a really young age. Tell me how you went from then to now...

I started working at Nails inc in Topshop while I was at beauty college. I realised I didn't want to pursue nails, waxing or facials, but I'd been threading since school. I started introducing it to all my clients when I worked at Errol Douglas in Mayfair – they all loved it, and still come to me today. It was all word of mouth as I didn't have a website – I was so lazy, oh my gosh!

Errol is the one who booted me out the door saying, "I believe in you, you can do more than have a threading chair in my salon," which is how I am where I am today. I then wanted to help people with cancer or going through chemotherapy, so I looked into permanent makeup. I didn't really like the look of tattooed brows, but then I found a microblading course called Slide and Tap in Moscow, which I brought back to Belgravia, London. Now it's really kicked off and people trust me to do it, but I can only do one appointment a day, so I needed this team for threading and tinting, too.

You don't use wax on brows, why is that?

I can't get the same precision as I do with the thread – it's that control. I believe threading exfoliates the skin, too, and makes the hair come back stronger. Waxing isn't good for the eye area as it sags the skin. You can get white spots, too.

Bushy brows have reigned supreme for years now – do you think that's about to change?

I still get people asking for big and bushy brows, but more often people just want what will suit their face – people are more switched on to the fact that brows should frame your face.

#microbladedbrows before and after #sumanbrows #browogger #brows #wakeupnomakeup #microading #bespokebrowscreatedbysuman 👉🏽👉🏽👉🏽 swipe

A post shared by SumanBrows • Beauty Atelier (@sumanbrows) on Mar 12, 2018 at 5:27pm PDT

What should we know before coming in for microblading?

Shower the night before as you can't get your brows wet for 24 hours. The same goes for exercise. Also, know that your eyebrows will be darker immediately after the treatment, before fading to their true colour. They'll flake and peel for a few days, so if you have a big event, do it a week before!

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Want Longer Natural Hair? 5 Expert-Approved Ways To Maximize Growth

I Burned Off My Hair With Bleach, So You Don’t Have To

The Best London Salons For Hair Colour

Hands up if you're a secret foundation snob.

It's not a bad thing – not at all. In fact, a whip round the R29 office showed that a lot of us tend to swerve the high street and go that extra mile just to buy foundation at luxury beauty counters. "Mascara, lipstick – I get everything else on the high street, but my foundation has to be good quality," said one staffer.

And why would you buy your foundation from anywhere else when most higher end brands promise 40+ shades to suit all skin tones, pigments that stay put through even the sweatiest of commutes, and formulas filled to bursting with added skincare benefits? It makes perfect sense to splurge, right?

But while most of us have been making a beeline for those shiny department stores, a foundation revolution has been bubbling on the high street. Affordable drugstore brands like Sleek, Maybelline and EX1, to name but a few, have made it their mission to cater to a wider range of skin tones than ever before, serving up formulations that look immaculate even after hours of wear, and improving compatibility for all skin types, from acne-prone to ultra-sensitive. All that and much more for less than the price of an Itsu lunch.

"Now that there's so much competition, consumers are expecting better quality products from high street brands," says NYX Professional makeup artist, Dean Smith. "I've definitely seen an improvement. Thanks to advances in formulations and a focus on making ranges as diverse as possible, high street foundations are now on par with offerings from the most luxe of brands. Gone are the days where these drugstore products looked cakey, broke you out or slipped off after a few hours. High street foundation has stepped up its game, and everyone loves getting compliments on their skin knowing they've only spent £10 or so, don't they?"

Yep. Click through to discover your new high street foundation match.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

This Hi-Tech Mirror Tells You Whether Your Skincare Is Actually Working

How Probiotics Could Help You Achieve Your Healthiest Hair Yet

Julia Roberts Just Got The Dreamiest Haircut For Spring

This time of year, I often find my Instagram saturated with photos of friends’ holidays and I am filled with mixed feelings of sadness, fear and embarrassment: I have never been on holiday with friends, with a boyfriend, or by myself.

I have also never willingly stayed over at a relative’s house, or spontaneously missed the last train home at night, lived away from home for university, or been on a school trip. I can count on one hand the number of childhood sleepovers from which I didn’t have to be picked up.

I have suffered from really aggressive panic attacks for as long as I can remember, triggered either by being away from home overnight, or by my parents going away and leaving me in the care of a relative. When they first occurred, they were dismissed as the symptoms of a "difficult child" but as they failed to fade away with age it became clear that there was a deeper problem at play.

Now, at age 24, I have almost wholly conquered the panic attacks that happen when my parents go away, but I am still unable to stay somewhere without them. The last time I attempted to spend a night away from home, at my boyfriend’s flat, I had one of the most violent and horrible panic attacks I can remember: three hours of convulsing, unable to speak beyond endlessly muttering or wailing "I can’t do it" as waves of terror washed over me, until eventually my boyfriend had to take me home because he couldn’t bear to see me like that anymore.

It has been suggested by various therapists that I have panic disorder, or an extreme phobia. There’s no known trauma in my childhood to pin the fear to. But try to make me stay in a home that isn’t my own – without my parents – and I will panic. I will eat as little as possible, to hold back the waves of nausea; I will cry at any moment, overcome by a sense of abandonment and betrayal – that I am being put in a situation I can’t handle by people who know that; then I will have a panic attack which I worry will never end, until I inevitably exhaust myself and pass out.

I have had cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) twice on the NHS, as well as cognitive hypnotherapy privately. While the latter helped me to learn some grounding techniques, the former never really tackled the root of my attacks, instead focusing on the general anxiety disorder I’d developed in my late teens – which I’m certain happened because of the shame I felt at entering my 20s and still being incapable of leaving home. The "cognitive" focus of the therapy is also ineffective in tackling my attacks, because I can never pinpoint a negative thought that occurs before the panic sets in; instead, a feeling of terror comes on with no warning, and I feel violently sick. If I don’t have a chance to rationalise the fear, then my breathing becomes aggressively short and my body starts convulsing. I cry until I think I’ll be sick, and react as though something awful has happened or is imminent. It's like a combination of feeling abandoned and trapped; that there’s no way out of the spiral and that no one can help you.

Some people talk about being afraid their heart will stop in a panic attack. I don’t have that. I have no real awareness of what is happening to me, or may happen to me, physically. Instead, I get momentary snatches of fear that something will snap in my brain, that the terror won’t stop, or I’ll be taken to hospital because no one can get me back to my former self.

Day to day, I can suppress the worry that this problem isn’t going away anytime soon. Luckily, because rents are disgracefully high in London, I’ve been able to use that as an excuse for still living at home and I have friends who live at home too, which helps to normalise my situation. I have a job that doesn’t require me to travel and makes me feel important. But when my mental health takes a slide, it all comes rushing back: at 24, I’m too old to be the way I am; I need to stand on my own two feet, for myself, my family and my boyfriend. I fear that the incredible patience they all offer me will run out and I feel as though everyone is moving at a faster pace than I can keep up with. I need more time to fix the problem. It makes me wish I could be young and struggling with housing, rather than being still at home and stifling my parents’ future. But that feels monumental, as though I’m rushing towards a deadline I’m not capable of meeting yet.

I have only told a handful of people about my panic attacks, and I often downplay them. Because as much as people can be concerned or sorry for me, I am yet to meet anyone who truly understands, or who experiences the same thing. It is easy to feel horrendously childlike as you tell someone who lives with their boyfriend, or in a flat with their friends, that you can’t stay away from home. I can sense – whether it exists or not – a relief that they don’t have the same issue, and I’m left wishing I didn’t struggle with something that was so necessary for adult development. Occasionally, people who really can’t put themselves in my shoes will make jokes about it – that I’ll never move out – and it takes a great deal of strength not to cry. It is debilitating, depressing and feels endless and exhausting.

I recently enrolled for more CBT, only to be put on a six-month waiting list, and I don’t know what other therapies exist that could help. I fear it’ll never go away, and I only let myself dream of living a "normal life" when I feel emotionally stable. I feel as though I am swimming against the tide, while everyone I know is safely on land. Sometimes I feel like I’m getting closer to them, but other times I feel as though I’ve always really just been drowning.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

8 Interesting & Innovative Products That Will Actually Improve Your Sleep Hygiene

Sleep: You're Doing It Wrong, But We Can Help

Justin Bieber Opens Up About “Struggling” In An Emotional Instagram Post

Post-Pride, three queer people discuss the difficulty of dating in secret, and how same-sex relationships are still not as accepted as we might think.

Imagine all the pain of a breakup; the tears, the anguish, the needing to talk about it over and over again until it sounds more like someone else’s story than your own. Now imagine being unable to tell the people closest to you about it: your parents, your friends at work, or even your best mate.

This is exactly what happened to Isabella when she broke up with her girlfriend last year. A few years ago, Isabella, now 21, had moved to London from Australia, and she only knew one person in the city, the daughter of a friend of her mum’s. Isabella and the daughter, let’s call her Hannah, began a gay relationship that would last two years, Isabella’s first. She’d known that she was gay since she was about 15, but she’d often heard her mum making extremely homophobic comments. "I think it was just her age to be honest," says Isabella over the phone. "She grew up in a time when it wasn’t okay to be gay, so while she can handle other people being LGBTQ+, when it comes to her own children, it’s different."

Isabella kept the relationship from her mother, meaning she was in a constant state of anxiety about the wrong thing being posted on social media. And when Hannah eventually cheated on her and they split up, she not only had to hide it from her mum, but endure questions like: 'How’s Hannah doing? You two are still friends right?'

"People encouraged me to do it a few times, to come out to my mum – they’d say, 'I’m sure she’ll be okay with it, she loves you'. I know it sounds bad but it was annoying. When you’re not ready, you’re not ready. And I did get very close to telling her, but then Hannah cheated on me."

Isabella’s story about dating 'in the closet' isn’t an irregular one. In fact, I went through it myself before coming out at 19, and while it was a relief, like ripping a plaster off, gaining my family’s full acceptance was a slow process of attrition over several years. In the interim, I’ve had long-term relationships with people who are not out to their families for religious reasons, and it’s put an added pressure on our relationship. There’s the one-sided expectation for them to come to my family events, which just remind them that their own family might not be so accepting; then there are the secrets, the lies and the hiding, as well as my guilt knowing that, when we broke up, they couldn’t talk to their loved ones about it. These are just some of the issues that come with the territory.

John*, a 33-year-old man from Stirling in Scotland, is bisexual, but although he’s known for eight or nine years, he’s never found the words to tell his parents (and his dad has since passed away). To make matters more complicated, John is married to a woman and their relationship is polyamorous. His mum might be accepting of these facts about his personal life, he says, but some people at work definitely wouldn’t. In fact, as a straight-presenting queer man, he’s been privy to a lot of homophobic comments from his coworkers.

I’m in Scotland; in certain age groups the world can be very small, I always have to weigh up the risk of who is going to know certain people that I know, or see me out.

"These are things they would never say to a gay person," he explains. "One of my colleagues made a homophobic joke about one of my other colleagues who is out, expecting I would laugh at it. In my head I was calculating what to do – it’s difficult to present yourself as a straight ally in that situation, because if I objected people would wonder why. I usually just change the subject."

John says that his reluctance to tell his mum might be something to do with internalised homophobia, but his reticence to come out at work is definitely to do with the environment. The impact is that he can never date in the town where he works for fear of being spotted. "I’m in Scotland; in certain age groups the world can be very small, I always have to weigh up the risk of who is going to know certain people that I know, or see me out," says John. "The safest place to date is through apps: a straight man from my work isn’t going to see me on a gay dating app unless they’re gay themselves, and if they are, they’re unlikely to out me."

John believes his experience indicates that we haven't come as far as we think in terms of LGBTQ+ rights. "In the town I’m talking about we’re only getting to the idea that gay is okay to begin with, but bisexuality is a whole different thing. They'd think you were gay and trying to cover it up. In my experience it’s more acceptable for women to be bisexual, but for the wrong reasons, because it has the male gaze attached to it. We’re a lot further along than we were 10 years ago, but it’s still at a level of mainstream tolerance, not mainstream acceptance."

Michael, who identifies as gay or queer, is 23 and also from Scotland, points out that some regions of the UK can be more conservative than others. He didn’t personally feel comfortable dating other men until he moved to London last year. Before that, at Edinburgh University, he had only tried a few hookups over Grindr, which he usually found intimidating. In London, where he met likeminded people with whom he could be himself, he was able to forge his first short relationship: "I think I would have been ready to do that earlier if I felt able to come out to my dad at, like, 15; I would have started dating sooner. Not coming out kind of set me back."

Despite knowing he was gay since he was 7 or 8, as a teenager Michael struggled to come to terms with this reality. "The gay population in the town I grew up in was so small and the gay men I saw weren’t a reflection of what I felt like – they were very flamboyant and loud," he says, adding that he is the opposite. "So because I had no one there to identify with, I never got round to coming out. I went through school having relationships with women. When I was 8 my mother died, and my dad came to look after us but worked a lot, so we never established a close bond. There was my last grandmother, but she died when I was 15."

Without anyone he felt he could talk to about it, Michael decided that forcing himself to marry a woman would be easier than ever living openly as a gay man. This perspective shifted slightly when his sister came out as being in a relationship with a woman – and his conservative dad took it surprisingly well. But the prospect didn’t make telling his dad any less daunting; if anything, he thought his dad might find it doubly hard learning that two of his kids were queer.

I think there’s this notion that it’s easy in this liberal modern age to be happy with who you are and come out and it not be a big deal.

"My sister makes people more confused about why I haven’t done it yet," Michael explains. "I guess I’m warming up to it. I think if he asked me I’d be able to have a conversation about it. But I don’t think I’ll do it myself until I’m in a relationship with someone. All I have right now is seedy hookups, guys I’ve met once or twice, or people on Tinder. I guess I don’t have a reason to."

While Michael waits for the right reason to come along (and it shouldn’t take long – he describes himself as a "serial dater" now, which he attributes to making up for lost time), he reminds us that there’s not one typical coming out story. "I think there’s this notion that it’s easy in this liberal modern age to be happy with who you are and come out and it not be a big deal. I appreciate that but I think the fear of coming out itself is a difficult one for a lot of people and so personal that you can’t expect people to all do it in the same way," he says. "But it doesn’t have to be showy, and you can do it when you’re 25 or 35, not 15. Waiting also doesn’t have to mean you’re not happy: I’m incredibly happy whether or not I’m out to my dad, and I’m incredibly proud of my sexuality."

For Isabella, six months after her breakup with Hannah, it felt like the right time to come out to her mum. "I got sick of lying, so I wrote her a message on Facebook. I couldn’t send it so I got my friend to press send. It took seven hours for her to reply and I was having a panic attack for most of those hours. She said she had a feeling. She said she still loved me. But I found out later that she had said some not very nice things to family members."

As Isabella’s mum hopefully comes to terms with her daughter’s sexuality, Isabella has found community support with other LGBTQ+ people on Instagram, Twitter and Tumblr, by going to marches for LGBTQ+ rights, and to concerts of LGBTQ+ artists where she’s met people who understand her experience. But for those who have yet to come out to their parents, friends or coworkers, she offers some parting advice: "Just do it when you’re ready and only if you’re safe. Try to surround yourself with people who will be there for you regardless and not rush you. You can choose your real family and friends."

*Name has been changed

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Are You On The Wrong Contraceptive Pill?

Sam Smith Comes Out As Non-Binary And Reveals He Had Lipo At Age 12

I Quit My Job At Vogue To Become A Full-Time Astrologer

It's official, folks. President Donald Trump just announced his second nominee for the U.S. Supreme Court. Meet Judge Brett Kavanaugh, who if confirmed will replace Justice Anthony Kennedy, the moderate conservative who is set to retire at the end of the month.

Kavanaugh, 53, will inevitably be at the centre of a confirmation battle. While it's likely that the Republican-controlled Senate will clear the path for Trump to remake the highest court in the land for generations to come, that doesn't mean that most Democrats will go down without a fight. After all, it was Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell who blocked the nomination of Merrick Garland — President Obama's moderate pick to replace late Justice Antonin Scalia — for 293 days arguing that it was an election year.

Kavanaugh currently serves on the District of Columbia's U.S. Court of Appeals. The Yale graduate worked under Kenneth Starr, the independent counsel who led the investigation against President Bill Clinton. He was one of the lead authors of the infamous Starr Report. Kavanaugh also worked in the solicitor general’s office during the George H.W. Bush administration and clerked for Justice Anthony Kennedy. He was nominated to the D.C. circuit in 2006.

Judge Brett Kavanaugh’s Impeccable Record of Constitutional Conservatism https://t.co/A8saXRnbXA pic.twitter.com/bnWNG4cmnc

— National Review (@NRO) July 5, 2018

An issue that's sure to come up during confirmation proceedings is whether Kavanaugh is in favor of overturning Roe v. Wade, the landmark decision that allowed women to choose a legal and safe abortion.

One of Trump's campaign promises is to appoint anti-abortion judges that could reverse the case, which could lead to abortion being illegal once again in the U.S. According to the White House, Trump didn't discuss past cases in his meetings with potential nominees last week. But that point is moot since the president's shortlist of potential nominees was created in conjunction with the Federalist Society, an anti-abortion and conservative legal organization.

Kavanaugh's recent record on reproductive rights is spotty. Last fall, he was one of the judges who dissented when the Court of Appeals ruled that a 17-year-old undocumented teenager could obtain an abortion after weeks of being blocked by the Trump administration. Kavanaugh, who is Catholic, wrote in his dissent that the court was giving a new right to "unlawful immigrant minors" to obtain an "immediate abortion on demand." Reproductive justice advocates that the phrase "abortion on demand" is part of coded language signalling that Kavanaugh might support overturning Roe v. Wade.

During his 2006 confirmation hearing, however, Kavanaugh promised to "follow Roe v. Wade faithfully and fully. That would be binding precedent of the Court. It's been decided by the Supreme Court."

Some of his other positions include ruling in favour of the call record surveillance operation by the National Security Agency (NSA) and arguing that sitting presidents should be exempted from civil suits and criminal prosecution.

While he's likely to face most opposition from liberals, several conservatives consider him "too moderate" because of previous decisions on the topic of religious liberty and the Affordable Care Act.

In a statement provided to Refinery29, the Independent Women’s Forum legal fellow Erin Hawley celebrated the decision.

“By nominating D. C. Circuit Judge Brett Kavanaugh, President Trump has fulfilled his pledge to put forward a judge who has demonstrated his commitment to the Constitution," she said. "Judge Kavanaugh believes in judicial humility and the separation of powers. He has been a staunch defender of religious liberty and believes that the role of federal judges is limited to interpreting and applying federal law and the Constitution, and that it is up to the people, through their representatives, to make the law. The Senate should work quickly to confirm Judge Kavanaugh."

But reproductive rights advocates voice their opposition to the nomination. In a statement provided to Refinery29, Dawn Laguens, executive vice president of Planned Parenthood Federation of America, said Kavanaugh could potentially put access to safe and legal abortion at risk.

“We oppose the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court, and call on the Senate to do the same. There’s no way to sugarcoat it: with this nomination, the constitutional right to access safe, legal abortion in this country is on the line. We already know how Brett Kavanaugh would rule on Roe v. Wade, because the president told us so," she said. "We take Trump at his word that Brett Kavanaugh would overturn Roe v. Wade and get rid of the Affordable Care Act. The balance of the Supreme Court is at stake — we cannot allow it to be tilted against the constitutional right to access abortion. Generations of women, especially women of color, will be affected. And generations of people have grown up only knowing a country where they have the right to access safe, legal abortion. We cannot allow our children and grandchildren to have fewer rights than we do today."

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

7 Powerful Photos From The Global Youth Climate Strike

At Least 49 People Killed In Terror Attack On New Zealand Mosques

The New US Bills That Would Ban Abortion Before Most Women Even Know They're Pregnant

The days when a woman's place was "in the home" while a man was expected to bring home the bacon within a heterosexual family unit may be long gone – but the British population is less progressive than you may have hoped when it comes to working mothers, a survey has found.

The National Centre for Social Research's latest British Social Attitudes Survey (BSAS) gives an insight into what people in the UK think about gender today, with 72% of people disagreeing that a woman's job is to look after the home and family while a man's job is to earn money. This is up 14% from 2008, when just over half (58%) of people believed the same.

Older people are also becoming more progressive in this regard, with nearly half (47%) of over-75s disagreeing with the 1950s-style approach to gender roles, compared to just 30% who disagreed in 2012.

But the picture is less rosy when it comes to working mothers. Just 7% of British people believe women with children under five should work full-time, the survey found, with 33% believing they should stay at home and a further 38% saying they should only work part-time.

Attitudes towards working mothers have remained stable on this since 2012, whereas public opinion has shifted rapidly since 1989. Towards the tail end of the '80s, almost two-thirds (64%) said mothers of pre-school age children should stay at home.

This persistent, deep-seated cultural belief in the advantages of stay-at-home motherhood among a large segment of the population could explain, at least in part, why take-up of shared parental leave has been so low in the UK. Just 2% of the 285,000 eligible couples are estimated to have taken up the option each year since it was introduced in 2015, according to the Department for Business.

It also explains why so many mothers feel guilty for going back to work after having children. This is despite research pointing towards the benefits of working motherhood. A Harvard study in 2015 found that daughters of working mothers have better careers, higher pay and more equal relationships than those raised by stay-at-home mothers.

Unsurprisingly, many women are disheartened by the prominence still given to stay-at-home motherhood and the pace of progress, with many voicing their disquiet on social media.

It's ridiculous that mothers are still expected to leave the workforce or reduce to PT work. This leads to a loss of talent & fewer women progressing into senior management. It's up to employers to offer benefits like agile working & shared parental leave. https://t.co/EIFPV4fQEs

— Ann Francke (@cmi_ceo) July 10, 2018

Interesting findings on gender roles from the British Social Attitudes Survey! Moving in the right direction but disappointing that the majority still think mothers should stay at home or work part time, and that women should take all or the majority of parental leave... #BSA35 https://t.co/svZwZl3b0G

— Amy Smith (@ilovemaximo) July 10, 2018

Are we really only just “moving away” from such an antiquated version of gender roles? I had to check I wasn’t reading a newspaper from 10 years ago - this is in today’s @guardian pic.twitter.com/CVog3DzGRB

— Laura Johnson (@laurajanewrites) July 10, 2018

The BSAS also investigated attitudes towards unsolicited comments on the street, or cat calling, finding that most people (57%) believe it's "always" or "usually" wrong for a man to comment on a woman's looks in the street. Perhaps surprisingly, more men (61%) held this view than women (52%).

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Greta Thunberg: The 16-Year-Old Climate Activist Who's Become A Global Celebrity

You Should Be Going To Bed At This Time For The Perfect Night's Sleep

Porn Laid Bare: 6 Young People Go Behind The Scenes Of The Porn Industry

According to a recent study by the USC Annenberg Inclusion Initiative , film criticism remains a field overwhelmingly dominated by (surprise, surprise) white men. Refinery29’s Writing Critics’ Wrongs is an attempt to rectify that oversight. Over the course of this project, our female movie critic will be taking another look at movies that have had a major cultural impact, from rom-coms to Oscar-winners, to Oscar-winning rom-coms. For too long, women have been excluded from the conversation about the movies we love, or hate, or somewhere in between. It's time for a rewrite.

When Marie Antoinette, director Sofia Coppola’s much-anticipated follow-up to Lost In Translation, premiered at the Cannes Film Festival in 2006, it was booed — literally, and in reviews. Mick LaSalle of the San Francisco Chronicle called out the “handsome style piece” for lacking “wit or real significance.” Stephen Witty of the Newark Star-Ledger dismissed it as “dazed and confused,” noting that “it feels like a teenager's diary, read aloud over some awesome mixtape.” Brian Holcomb of CinemaBlend compared the story to that of “Paris Hilton if she were to be married off to an impotent French Prince instead of dating meatheads armed with camcorders.”

The reviews aren’t evenly split by gender. Some men hated Marie Antoinette, but some loved it. Roger Ebert, for example, praised the film ’s “fragile magic” and “romantic and tragic poignancy.” The same goes for women. Lisa Schwarzbaum at Entertainment Weekly called it the “work of a mature filmmaker who has identified and developed a new cinematic vocabulary to describe a new breed of post-post post feminist woman,” while Joanne Kaufman of the Wall Street Journal wrote that it was “ultimately as substantial as a bonbon.”

Still, the overall criticism directed at the film seems to be focused on the idea that it lacks substance, a barb so often used to dismiss teenage girls. Which is ironic, given that this is precisely what the film is about.

That Marie Antoinette has become a cult classic for teenage girls is no surprise. The film arguably created millennial pink, launched a nationwide, still-going-strong macaron trend, and became the inspiration for countless Pinterest party mood boards. It’s a film about a stylish historical figure that doesn’t feel like one — a relatable fantasy of wealth and privilege. Marie Antoinette isn’t a biopic, concerned with dry historical facts, speeches or big events. It’s a highly personal filmwhich takes us into the very limited universe of a very young woman forced to play a very public role, gorgeously laying forth the trappings of luxury for the audience to revel in, until we, like the doomed French queen, realise that it’s nothing more than a gilded cage.

But most of all, it’s a movie about being a teenage girl.

Marie Antoinette takes on the (low) expectations we have of young women, and the pressure to conform to standards they’ll eventually be condemned for. Think of Versailles as a high school. Marie Antoinette (Coppola muse Kirsten Dunst) is the new girl in town, the shy but pretty blonde who has grown up abroad (in Austria). She’s sent by her mother, the domineering Empress Maria Theresa (Marianne Faithfull — herself a former major It Girl), to seal an alliance between the Holy Roman Empire and France by marriage. Her intended, Louis-August (Jason Schwartzman), current dauphin of France and future King Louis XVI, is the 18th century equivalent of a shy A/V nerd, and completely incapable of standing up for his new bride in a court of gossips and mean girls.

Speaking of Mean Girls — Tina Fey’s seminal high school comedy precedes Marie Antoinette by two years, and although I would bet a lot of money that Coppola wouldn’t cite Fey or the Mark Water-directed film as an influence, there are echoes of its themes throughout. Just think of the way King Louis XV’s (Rip Torn) daughters, Victoire (Molly Shannon) and Sophie (Shirley Henderson) treat Marie Antoinette, smiling and inviting her to tea while calling her a “german spy” behind her back. And has there ever been anything so Regina George as when Marie Antoinette refuses to acknowledge the King’s mistress, Madame du Barry (Asia Argento), knowing well full well that royal etiquette dictates she cannot speak to her unless spoken to first?

Being a teenage girl is a lonely pursuit, and Coppola masterfully weaves quiet scenes of despair (Marie Antoinette sobbing after her sister-in-law gives birth to a boy, while she and her husband have yet to have sex, despite having been married for months) with montages of wild abandon and spending, candy-coloured Manolo Blahniks and mountains of Laduree macarons. (This scene gives a whole new meaning to “On Wednesdays we wear pink.”) Still, even in the throes of lavish partying, there’s a sense of emptiness, of a vapid existence that’s slowly losing its sheen. Marie Antoinette, at first bewildered by the rules and conventions of the French court, soon becomes its master, leading fashion, gossip and bon gout — while still claiming to care about none of it. Performance, after all, is a key component of popularity.

Kirsten Dunst plays this duality beautifully. You get the sense that her Marie Antoinette actually could be down-to-earth, if society had ever required her to land there. But as the queen, she’s expected to shine — be better, prettier, more stylish, more vivacious — until she’s vilified for it. When she retreats to the Petit Trianon, her small palace on the outskirts of Versailles, it’s to a very fake version of pastoral life, complete with a picturesque village and gauzy peasant dresses made of a linen that would probably cost them a lifetime of salaries. It’s the equivalent of today’s farmhouse chic — sanitised and quaint, without any of the petty bothers of actually running a farm. And yet it’s still a far cry from what Marie Antoinette is best remembered for: reportedly dismissing stories of the starving French populace with a pithy “Let them eat cake.” (A claim she dismisses as preposterous in the film. “I would never say that!”)

Coppola’s merging of past and present is a device used throughout the film, from the stray pair of pink Converse concealed among a row of heeled period shoes, to the heavily 1980s influenced soundtrack that pairs The Cure's "Plainsong" with King Louis XVI's 1774 coronation. Royalty, she seems to say, is a vibe. It’s a lifestyle, not a title — be it 18th century France or 1987 Los Angeles. You may not have access to Versailles, but you know exactly what it’s like to be there.

Her casting choices reflect this ethos: while a traditional period film would seek to cast based on lookalikes or impersonations, Coppola isn’t interested in that. Jason Schwartzman’s Louis August isn’t so much a historically accurate representation based on what we know about Louis XVI as he is a stand-in for highly awkward yet privileged young men thrust in situations out of their control. Louis was born to play a role he doesn’t want or even know how to play. And though it might be seen as nepotism (Schwartzman is Coppola’s cousin), Schwartzman occupies the part with a sad clown grace that eventually leads to quiet resolve.

In fact, the relationship between Louis and Marie Antoinette is one of the most interesting in the film: their lack of sexual chemistry (it takes them 7 years to consummate their marriage, mostly due to inexperience and an inability to talk about it) doesn’t negate a touching platonic relationship between two outsiders who would really rather be anywhere else. (Bonus: As a result, we get the treat of a young Jamie Dornan as Count Axel von Fersen, the queen's Swedish lover.) The film also explores the crucial role that female friendships play in a young woman’s life, often occupying far more importance than romantic ones. In fact, one of the accusations that condemned the real Marie Antoinette was that she was rumoured to have intimate relationships with two of her best friends, the Princesse de Lamballe (Mary Nighy) and the Duchesse de Polignac (a sparkling young Rose Byrne).

The film has its flaws. The dialogue is stilted (although how refreshing it is to not to have actors pretend to have an accent they do not have), and Coppola sometimes fails to live by her decision to filter events through Marie Antoinette’s limited and sheltered perspective. Brief scenes of King Louis discussing France’s financial aid to the revolution in America are an injection of reality more jarring than informative given the claustrophobic nature of the protagonist’s existence. What’s more, given the rare access Coppola had as the first director to be allowed to film on location in Versailles, it seems like a missed opportunity not to have the palace play more of a role — especially since the royal family almost never leaves it. The shots of Versailles feel oddly tangential, like any other set — the only comprehensive interior shots we get are at the end, once the family has been dragged off by the revolutionary mob, and by then, the palace, like its residents is a shell of its former glory. That would carry a much bigger gut-punch had we been made to care about it before.

And of course, there’s the fact that the film’s assumed relatability is based on a very narrow and highly privileged interpretation of the teenage experience. Coppola has faced this type of criticism with nearly all of her films — most recently for The Beguiled — which seem unconcerned with any experience beyond that of rich, white women. Granted, in this case, white privilege is period-accurate, but we’ve already established that Coppola doesn’t care much about that. If she really wanted to transgress genre boundaries, ca0sting actors of colour in traditionally white roles could have been a more innovative and inclusive way to go about it.

It’s hard to talk about Marie Antoinette without putting it in the context of the time. Not Ancien Régime France, but rather 2006 Hollywood celebrity culture. This was heyday of Paris Hilton, and pre-meltdown Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan, whose wild partying was captured by a rabid paparazzi who chastised their behaviour while asking for more. Young women who rose to fame at a young age, acting the way society appeared to want them to behave, and then being torn apart — sound familiar?

But in a way, Coppola falls into the same trap her sequestered, narcissistic heroine does. The film certainly criticises that navel-gazing, Us Weekly culture and lifestyle, but it also fetishises it. Sure, that constant flow of champagne gives us a headache after a while, but in a “poor little rich girl” way. Left to their own devices – barring, you know, a revolution – Marie Antoinette and her friends would have continued living like this forever, sometimes enjoying it, and sometimes wishing for a more fulfilling way of life. And yet, by choosing to close the film with the revolutionary narrative, rather than cutting off (sorry, sorry) beforehand, Coppola is reminding us (or warning us) that a wind of change is indeed here at last. But we’re not sure what her ultimate intent here is – and that ambivalence is frustrating rather than intriguing.

In the end, perhaps we’re not supposed to just root for Marie Antoinette, but also for the crowd that ultimately beheads her. Regina George too, had her comeuppance.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

"Not At All What I Was Expecting!" What People Are Saying About The Four Weddings Sequel

We Weren't Ready For The Drama In The New Avengers: Endgame Trailer

Five Feet Apart Wants You To Cry & You Probably Will

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Refinery29.

I am writing this on behalf of my 8-year-old self, who just wanted to grow up and be the next Gilda Radner or Madeline Kahn; who just wanted to get old enough to move to L.A. or NYC and make people laugh. It never occurred to me that a female wanting to do comedy was unusual or an act of rebellion.

Even in this climate, when people are finally talking about treating women equally, I had one of the more degrading experiences of my entire career a few weeks ago. I’ve been doing comedy as an improviser, stand-up, sketch comedian, and actress for over 20 years. When you do a spot at a stand-up show, the host might introduce you by mentioning a TV credit, or just say something general. “We are glad to have them here;” “It’s their first time on the show;” or “Please welcome”. But none of those were part of my introduction when I recently did standup at an alt comedy show in Silver Lake hosted by two guys who were playing characters as morning show hosts. My intro was as follows:

“Our next comic is a female. Yup, she’s a girl comic. She’s got titties. That’s right guys, just picture taking out your wet dicks and sliding them back-and-forth between those big ole’ titties. Please welcome….”

And then they got my name wrong.

I don’t know if guys have any idea what it’s like to already be the only female in a lineup, which I was, and then to be so publicly humiliated and violated. Not only did I still have to go do my 10-minute set, but I was now starting at a disadvantage with the audience because the entire room JUST PICTURED TITTY FUCKING ME. When you really think about that act, it is so dominating. Usually, the woman is pinned down for a man’s pleasure, and often he ejaculates on her. That was my introduction at a comedy show.

I turned to my friend who booked the show, and she said “What the hell?” The audience nervously applauded and didn’t really laugh during the intro. I walked up onto the stage in a daze. I remember making awkward eye contact with a woman in the front row. The vibe in the room was not an ideal way to start a stand-up set.

When people pull things like this on women, women don’t even get to start on a level playing field. There’s no blank slate.

One of these guys should know who I am because I’ve met him once before. A few years ago I had to do a television show with a panel of comedians, and he was one of them. He made jokes about me being covered in jizz during the taping. I don’t know if his comments made it into the edit of the show because I refused to watch myself be degraded on television. I didn’t recognise his name when I agreed to do the show in Silver Lake, but as soon as I showed up I thought, Oh shit, it’s that guy. Still, I tried to rationalise for him and say, “Maybe that was a one-time thing. Maybe he was just doing it for the show.” Nope. I have now had two interactions with this man, and both times I have either had my breasts mentioned or me being covered in semen.

When people pull things like this on women, women don’t even get to start on a level playing field. There’s no blank slate. They have to stop and deal with the verbal assault first, and then attempt to change the energy of the room before moving on to doing their jobs — in my case doing my stand-up set. It’s extra confusing when it’s “alt comedy,” and people are being ironic. Alt comedy shows have historically been more welcoming to female and LGBTQ+ comedians. Even though the tone at this particular show was experimental and loose, and the men who introduced me were playing the parts of boorish characters, the effect is the same. It is misogyny hiding behind irony. And if you don’t roll with the punches, you look uptight.

The reality is when you are a comedian you have to be resilient. There are many things that happen on the road that come with the territory: hecklers, drunks, chasing paycheques with club owners, etc. But when you get harassed by your peers, it puts you in an odd position. You don’t want to seem like you don’t have a good sense of humour. Incidents like this are violating, degrading, aggressive, and still happen in various ways more often than you would think.

A few days after the incident, I told my friend Erin Foley, another comic, what had happened, and she asked me if I told the two guys to F off. The reality is I did not. I wish I had. I wish I was one of those people who could just tear someone a new asshole, and have the crowd eating out of my hand because I had the perfect cutting remark or comeback. That’s just not who I am. I have delayed reactions. I’m always stunned when someone disrespects me that aggressively. I almost leave my body. I go on autopilot just to get out of that situation. In fight or flight, I flew, but I also still had to keep my wits about me because I still had to do my job.

Things like this still happen, and you eventually get worn down after years of subtle (and in this case, not so subtle) degradation.

I don’t know why they did it. Maybe they thought it was funny. The audience was not really laughing, but the men just kept riffing on and on about it. The room started spinning for me after the penises between my breasts line, so I couldn’t even tell you how the intro ended. Maybe these guys didn’t realise that there’s already such a bias when you do standup as a female, and that you have to work a little harder to get the crowd on your side. With that introduction, they essentially reduced me to an object. An object to be degraded – something with no worth. One of them has a new baby daughter. I wonder how he would feel if someone did this to her at her work? Or to his wife? Sister? Mom?

It’s been almost a year since the #Metoo movement started. This happened in June of 2018 after so many men have been called out for inappropriate behaviour, not just in the comedy community, but globally. Discussion about it has been everywhere. It’s shocking to me that people still think degrading a woman like this for a cheap laugh is okay. A woman who is their guest, their co-worker, their peer. They think their comments are ironic, so they don’t hurt. Words are powerful.

In case anyone else out there didn’t get the memo, yes, women are funny. No, we don’t need you to call us a “girl comic” in our introduction. How about just a comic? And no need to comment on your dicks with our bodies when you bring us onstage — or ever, really.

I am proud of myself and my career. I try to be kind to people, I show up on time, and I’m always prepared. I am happy that there are so many wonderful female comics right now. And honestly, more often than not, the men that I have worked with across the country have been generous, wonderful, funny souls. But things like this still happen, and you eventually get worn down after years of subtle (and in this case, not so subtle) degradation.

Time is truly up on all of this asinine behaviour — and it being accepted. I’m so angry and over it. I have value. And to that 8-year old girl – even though I’m tired – I didn’t forget you. Women need to see other women onstage. I am proud to be a headlining comic. I am proud to do festivals and shows in tiny venues and big venues with lots and lots of wonderful funny generous comedians of all genders. I wouldn’t be the same person if I had never seen Gilda or Madeleine (even though neither was a stand-up, they lit my fuse). Maybe some young lady out there will see something in me that inspires her to want to own her voice and try her hand at telling jokes. I just pray for the next wave of funny young ladies out there that the path gets a little easier and a little more kind.

Arden Myrin is an actress, comedian, writer, and podcaster. She was a cast member on season 7 of Shameless , was on MadTV for 4 seasons, appeared on over 100 episodes of Chelsea Lately , and will be seen next as a cast member on the upcoming Netflix seriesInsatiable . Arden is also the host of the popular podcast Will You Accept This Rose? about The Bachelor franchise

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Felicity Huffman Deleted Her Social Media Accounts — But Not Before The Internet Got To Them

Are Meghan & Harry Putting A Political Mastermind On Staff To Address Racist & Sexist Attacks On The Duchess?

Olivia Munn Mocks The Cheating Scandal: "I Went To Harvard To Become An Instagrammer"

We know how hard life is for LGBT+ people who live in Russia, but there are also many legitimate concerns for tourists, never more so with so many visitors travelling to the country for the 2018 World Cup.

The spreading of LGBT+ "propaganda", including the Pride flag, among people under 18 is banned in the country under a controversial 2013 law, which the European Court of Human Rights last year ruled was discriminatory and encouraged homophobia. Homophobic prejudice also remains rife in the country, despite homosexuality having been decriminalised in 1993.

But one group of activists managed to subvert the law in a particularly canny way. Six campaigners – from Spain, the Netherlands, Brazil, Mexico, Argentina and Colombia – took advantage of the current furore around the World Cup to hide the rainbow flag, a symbol of LGBT+ identity and solidarity, in plain sight in the Russian capital.

La bandera arcoíris regatea las leyes rusas y se planta en pleno Mundial 🏳️‍🌈❤️🇷🇺 Muy orgullosxs de presentar #HiddenFlag. La protesta de la @FELGTB en Rusia #Pride #Orgullo2018 #Rusia2018 👉🏻theHiddenFlag.org @tles @primocontent @diego.speroni

A post shared by LOLA MullenLowe (@lolamullenlowe) on Jul 6, 2018 at 5:29am PDT

Their nations' football tops collectively made up the Pride symbol – red, orange, yellow, green, blue and violet – and the project is going by the name 'Hidden Flag'. The aim, the activists told Refinery29, is to "give visibility to all the people who live in Russia and face discrimination and fear on a daily basis".

One group member, who preferred not to be named, said they wanted to raise awareness of and incite conversation about broader discrimination against the LGBT+ community around the world, where people are "persecuted, humiliated or marginalised" because of their sexuality and/or gender identity.

"We realised that this year while Gay Pride Week was happening [in Spain], the World Cup was happening at the same time in a country as restrictive as Russia, making it the perfect time to create this initiative. Together with FELGTB (Spain’s largest LBGTQ organisation) we hoped to call attention to the discriminatory laws in Russia and press for change," the spokesperson said.

"The World Cup felt like the right place because the whole world is watching which helps to reach more people, spread the message and keep the protesters safe."

The reaction to the initiative has been "overwhelmingly positive" – even Chelsea Clinton has tweeted about it. Photos of the group have been widely circulated online and have been shared by LGBT+ groups, activists and members of the public, with 'Hidden Flag' receiving praise for their creativity and resourcefulness.

Courageous & beautiful 🏳️‍🌈: https://t.co/QN1grwe8iK

— Chelsea Clinton (@ChelseaClinton) July 10, 2018

6 activists have found a creative way to bring the 🏳️‍🌈 to Russia during the #WorldCup to support LGBTI people and activists. Take a look at the @FELGTB #hiddenflag campaign here ➡️ https://t.co/dtfD3WCjm4 #supportallcolours pic.twitter.com/Vvfg5m3Saw

— LGBTI Intergroup (@LGBTIintergroup) July 9, 2018

In Russia it’s illegal to display the LGBT pride flag. So during the #WorldCup these 6 football fans have formed a hidden rainbow flag with their soccer jerseys, to protest Russia’s discriminatory laws in plain sight. #HiddenFlag ✊🏳️‍🌈 pic.twitter.com/I6uvYztGlR

— Jason Ball (@jasonballau) July 9, 2018

Love what these these brave #activists did in #Russia at the #WorldCup
Wearing shirts of their native teams, they turned themselves into a #LGBTQ #rainbow #flag
(displaying the LGBT flag in public can get you arrested) & walked around moscow with pride 🏳️‍🌈 #TheHiddenFlag pic.twitter.com/lKt3C5I65y

— Omar Kuddus (@OmarKuddus) July 8, 2018

in russia, the act of displaying the LGBT flag in public can get you arrested. so these 6 activists from latin america resorted to creativity: wearing uniforms from their countries' football teams, they turned themselves into the flag and walked around moscow with pride. 🏳️‍🌈 pic.twitter.com/7Q2HgLemzh

— gabi (@harleivy) July 8, 2018

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Greta Thunberg: The 16-Year-Old Climate Activist Who's Become A Global Celebrity

You Should Be Going To Bed At This Time For The Perfect Night's Sleep

Porn Laid Bare: 6 Young People Go Behind The Scenes Of The Porn Industry

Here, I'll say it: Music festivals are overrated. The crowds, the weather, the lines, the exorbitant ticket costs. There is an exception, though, and that's Essence Festival. Now in its 24th year, the event draws annual crowds larger than Coachella from all corners of the world for the ultimate "party with a purpose" in New Orleans, Louisiana. And with last year's release of Girls Trip, Essence Fest 2018 was the biggest one yet — more than half a million attendees showed up.

Back in 1995, the event was originally conceptualised as a one-time weekend fête to honour Essence Magazine's 25th anniversary. When 142,000 people RSVPd, the organisers knew they were on to something greater than they anticipated. Since then, Essence Fest has evolved from big-name concert headliners to include workshops, panel discussions, and keynote speeches about politics, technology, health, style, beauty, and cooking.

"It’s a family reunion," Gabrielle Union told us at AT&T's Dream in Black Luncheon. "You see people you haven’t seen in years, and it just feels like a safe space to exist. And also a great place to build, to rally support, and to connect. It feels like a celebration of us."

It's a celebration of Black beauty, too. This year, there was no shortage of popping twist-outs, fluffy 'fros, bright wigs, perfectly blended sew-ins, gorgeous locs, and intricate braids. But unlike other festivals, these attendees didn't have to go overboard with their glam to get noticed. Women of all shapes, ages, styles, and skin tones rocked what was comfortable to them. Check them out in all their glory, ahead.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Beer, Eggs, Vinegar: We Tried 5 Natural Hair Masks

Ariana Grande "Evolves" Her Pete Davidson-Inspired "Always" Tattoo

This Hi-Tech Mirror Tells You Whether Your Skincare Is Actually Working

My girlfriend and I had been hooking up (but not technically dating) for about two months before I started following her on Twitter. I had read all of her tweets by then, of course, and was obsessively checking to see if she posted anything new. But I didn't dare follow her. Somehow, clicking the follow button or, even worse, friending her on Facebook, felt like it would give away how much I liked her. And that would be horrible.

It sounds silly now (why shouldn't she know that I like her?), but I'm not the only one who falls prey to these kinds of social media anxieties. When many of us first start dating someone, we stalk their socials in private. We don't make it known that we want to look through all of their awkward high school Facebook photos and dramatic status updates. But the hush-hush nature of stalking your potential love's socials makes it difficult to know when you can come out of the closet and follow them for real. So we asked an expert to make it a little more clear. The verdict? You'll want to wait at least a few dates, says dating strategist Natalia Juarez.

But why even wait until you've had three or four dates? Why not friend someone after the first date if you had a good time and want to see them again? Well, you risk looking needy, Juarez says. Especially if the person has their Instagram or other social media set to private. "They obviously like to keep a tighter circle, in which case prematurely requesting access might seem too aggressive," she says. Overall, she thinks that Instagram and Snapchat are more casual (as long as your date's account is public), so it's totally fine to follow someone on one of those sites after four to six dates. But, Facebook is a different story. "There may be more of a personal photo history and more family connections on Facebook," Juarez says. She suggests waiting about a month, or until you've defined the relationship, before friending someone on Facebook.

And, perhaps more important than coming on too strong, following someone too early could impact your own thoughts about your potential new partner before you've had time to get to know them. "If you see pictures of the person you’re dating with another person (perhaps an ex) this may impact your ability to let the relationship unfold naturally," she says. "Instead of getting to know the person for who they are, you may run the risk of making up stories based on content that may or may not mean anything."

Remember, what you see on social media is often just one side of who a person is. And usually, it's their most showy side. So the person sitting across from you at dinner might not live up to the person you've concocted in your head based on their perfect vacation selfies. "Instead of focusing on social media, focus on the connection you have," Juarez says. "How someone treats you, how excited they are to see you, and how responsive they are says so much more than an add." Your date deserves a chance to charm you without fighting with their Insta-self.

So it's worth it to wait a bit before hitting "like," "follow," or "friend." But maybe don't wait several months like I did. Because, just as I thought, friending someone on social media does let them know that you like them, Juarez says. And that's actually a good thing. (Trust me, you want the people you like to know you're interested.)

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Sam Smith Comes Out As Non-Binary And Reveals He Had Lipo At Age 12

How To Really, Truly Get Over A Breakup

24 First Dates That Aren't Dinner & A Movie