Over the weekend, an unexpected spark captured America’s attention. Alongside the usual barbecues and fireworks that accompany the Fourth of July holiday, all eyes were on Twitter user Rosey Blair, an actress and photographer from Dallas with a passion for plus-size fashion. Blair also had a passion for constructing a good story, which she demonstrated by documenting the supposedly budding romance of two strangers who ended up next to each other on a plane after Blair and her boyfriend asked one of them to switch seats.

Blair’s narrative started on Instagram Stories and was repurposed into a viral Twitter thread that, as of this posting, currently has over 370,000 retweets and over 900,000 likes. The 59-tweet-long thread photo-documented the couple's every alleged flirtation, down to light touches and, notably, a trip together to the bathroom.

Initially, the reactions were positive, with people eagerly awaiting the outcome and expressing hope that the couple’s romance would continue. I'll admit that when I first read the thread, which concluded with the couple leaving the airport together, my knee-jerk reaction was also to think it was sweet. Especially right now, what's not to love about a good, old-fashioned meet cute?

This is a trap we’ve fallen into time and time again. Twitter allows us to present and spread one side of a story, one nugget of information, and it’s easy to get excited and hit retweet before remembering that life is larger and more complicated than that. Twitter is made for multiple perspectives, and it’s not long before they make themselves known.

"Secretly recording people in public so you can exploit them later for content and viral fame is gross and everyone involved in the plane bae saga should be kicked off the internet except the poor woman who just wanted to be left alone," wrote Atlantic writer Taylor Lorenz about the thread.

Secretly recording people in public so you can exploit them later for content and viral fame is gross and everyone involved in the plane bae saga should be kicked off the internet except the poor woman who just wanted to be left alone.

— Taylor Lorenz (@TaylorLorenz) July 6, 2018

This is not the first time a viral moment has soured. People had similar feelings about Twitter user @hayejunt. In May, they ended up in a screening of I Feel Pretty with Lady Bird director Greta Gerwig. In now-deleted tweets, they documented Gerwig's less-than-positive reaction to the film, including her saying things like "I hate this" and "ugh" during pivotal moments. After some brief excitement over this voyeurism, the tables turned, and @hayejunt was on the receiving end of criticism from people like I Feel Pretty star Busy Philipps.

"It just bummed me out on such a deeply personal level for a few reasons," Philipps said on her Instagram Story after it all went down. "It’s just the idea that if you are in the public eye in whatever capacity that you just sort of are giving up your autonomy and your privacy, anywhere, that you can’t go to a movie theatre."

Or, it seems, a plane. While the story of Plane Bae, as it was affectionately nicknamed, continued to spread around the internet in one conveniently packaged, shareable moment, real life carried on — and real life comes with consequences. Caught up in the excitement, the man in the story, Euan Holden, identified himself. He also added fuel to the fire, telling a fan who asked about what happened in the bathroom that "A gentleman would never say." What he did say, though, was the woman's name, which Twitter users claim he let slip during an Instagram Live about the story. If you've even been a woman on the internet, it's not surprising what happened next.

it's not just about shyness! she was actually being harassed, insulted and attacked! please don't try to milk-and-toast what motivated this poor innocent civillian to back out of social media, this isn't a romance fanfiction pic.twitter.com/07Pbh0QQkZ

— seu menino, victor c (@seumeninovictor) July 6, 2018

Amid harassment, the woman was apparently forced off of social media, and public perception of the story swiftly went south.

In this light, it's much easier to see the glaring privacy issues with the thread. Much of the commentary was projection and speculation, going so far as to insinuate they had sex or something similar in the plane bathroom. Even though Blair admitted she didn't have the woman's permission "yet," she made references to her story becoming a movie that she hopes to be a part of and tweeted at BuzzFeed asking for a job. All of these things piled up, and Blair finally addressed the backlash on Tuesday.

pic.twitter.com/BVsAsM8PZ5

— Rosey Blair (@roseybeeme) July 10, 2018

“When I made this and shared it, I was happy, joyful, and overcome with authentic and sincere excitement,” she wrote in a screenshot shared to her Twitter. “So much so that I could not see the potential exploitative nature of the outcome and my actions. The last thing I want to do is remove agency and autonomy from another woman." She deleted the first tweet in the thread, as well as the more heavily-criticised posts, and apologised to the woman, saying that the story is now hers, which it should have been all along.

But we're only just learning a disappointing truth: There's no such thing as a good viral story anymore.

There's a term for this phenomenon when, for varied reasons, the internet sours on an initially positive moment: Milkshake Duck. The term was first coined on Twitter in 2016, but has gained traction over the past two years as, time and time again, a good viral moment is ruined by its inevitably dark underbelly.

A prominent example of this occurred in late 2017 when a number of celebrities rallied around Keaton Jones, whose emotional video about bullying went viral after his mother Kimberly uploaded it to Facebook. Through tears, he explained that he was bullied at school for his appearance, ending the video by saying "It's hard. But it'll probably get better one day."

Chris Evans notably retweeted the video, adding words of encouragement and inviting Jones to the Avengers premiere in L.A.. And then, it Milkshake Duck-ed. Since the video went viral on Facebook, people could see other things Jones' mother had posted, which included pictures of the confederate flag with captions criticising "butt-hurt Americans." The mother appeared on Good Morning America to clear up the confusion, insisting that she and her family aren't racist, but the damage had been done. The viral moment was forever tainted. It's unclear if Jones ended up attending the premiere.

While the viral moments of yore may have snuck in early enough to escape this fate — before social media was a part of everyone’s lives and became an easily-searchable record of personal information — it's not likely that ones of the future will ever exist in the same vacuum. The point of social media is to accommodate multiple narratives, and now that social media has been almost fully integrated with "real life," in the sense that almost all of use it and what happens on Twitter is just as real as what happens in person; viral moments no longer exist solely on the web.

This isn't to say they'll stop happening, or that we're doomed to relive the same disappointment over and over again, but rather that we have to start acknowledging the power of having a platform. Social media puts everyone on a level playing field, with a single Tweet or Instagram Story carrying the potential to become a cultural phenomenon, which means anyone can be a public figure. While we can’t stop the creation of these moments, we can consume them responsibly. Before you like or retweet think: Who else is affected? Do I need to spread it? And am I ready to share accountability if it all goes wrong?

Those who retweeted Blair’s tweet were more than just bystanders: They played a part in making the story louder, which ultimately contributed to the woman’s decision to leave social media. While the damage is already done for Plane Bae, in a few weeks another viral moment will happen, and with any luck we’ll think twice before sharing, having understood that the situation is almost always more complicated than it initially appears.

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I can't remember the exact moment this happened, but I can tell you that it felt like an epiphany.

My book had been out for a few months, and it was doing really well. But most importantly, the reader reviews were everything that I dreamed they would be. The advice was actually helping people all around the world! I’m not sure what kind of change I expected upon launching Leave Your Mark, but I can tell you that going back to the same desk every day after a multi-week press blitz felt very anticlimactic. It was the same old DKNY, except that I wasn’t the same old Aliza.

I started to have strange thoughts, very strange thoughts. Like, what if I didn’t work at Donna Karan anymore? What would happen if I weren’t the famous DKNY PR GIRL commanding the attention of millions of followers? What if I didn’t have the power of a big brand behind me? These thoughts swirled around my head like clothes in a dryer.

Nah. I couldn’t QUIT. Could I? I loved my job. I had a dream job. I’m quite certain that people would line up for blocks for a chance to sit at my desk. But in truth, after 17 years at the same company, it had become commonplace. Not the kind of boring where you’re so jaded that you don’t appreciate all the amazing opportunities that you experience on a daily basis, but the kind of boring when you know in your heart that you are capable of more. You see, I could do my job with my eyes closed. Now some of you may be thinking, Great! Easy ride. Get paid well and go home early. Well, not me. I couldn’t help but think that I was supposed to be embarking on new challenges and learning new things.

When you spend seventeen years at a company, it starts to feel like you will be there forever.

I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. In May 2015, my mentor and boss, Patti Cohen, stepped down from the company after three decades! She was its first employee ever and I wasn’t sure how Donna would actually survive without her. If you saw Donna, you saw Patti. She was her right hand. They finished each other’s sentences. It didn’t take long for rapid change to happen and by June, Donna stepped down as Chief Designer for Donna Karan International. It was truly the end of an era.

With Donna’s departure, the Donna Karan New York brand itself was suspended, leaving only DKNY as the solo brand of the company. That was a complete shock to the industry, myself included. The suspension of Donna Karan New York meant the demise of my favourite collection, Donna Karan Atelier, a brand that I conceived and spearheaded for celebrity dressing. I loved that brand and all the drama that went with it. As much as I dreaded awards season, I also loved it. I fed off of it. It provided an adrenaline rush season after season.

In college, I spent endless hours studying. My studying was never-ending, so I always looked for a good stopping point. Similarly, without the two matriarchs of the company and with the luxury level collection suspended, it felt like the stopping point I was looking for. Donna and Patti were family, so I decided to use their departures as a springboard for my own. I reasoned that it was all meant to be.

I gave my notice shortly thereafter and pledged to the company that I would stay until the end of the year. After all, my intention was not to go to another brand, but rather to set out on my own.

This is an excerpt from LEAVE YOUR MARK: Land Your Dream Job. Kill it in Your Career. Rock Social Media. by Aliza Licht. Copyright © 2015 by Aliza Licht. Reprinted by permission of Grand Central Publishing, New York, NY. All rights reserved.

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When Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter took the stage at Coachella, she brought Black history and culture to the forefront. And in between celebrating the Black college experience (specifically HBCUs), the first Black woman to ever headline the music festival championed Black bodies, feminism, activism, and her family, all while wearing a custom Balmain hoodie. On July 13, that same hoodie, available in both yellow and pink, along with a black T-shirt featuring a sorority-inspired graphic, will go on sale with proceeds benefiting the United Negro College Fund.

Frederick D. Patterson and Mary McLeod Bethune founded the United Negro College Fund in 1944, and since then, the organisation has raised more than £3.6 billion, helping more than 450,000 students attend historically Black universities. “This is something important and this collaboration is talking to the new generation and saying you can get that piece, you can be a part of the history,” Balmain creative director Olivier Rousteing tells Vogue.

Recreating such a small part of such a historic moment (Beychella) makes Rousteing emotional. “I’m of mixed race. I’m Black and my parents are white. I grew up in France without having a real identification of being Black and being an adult," he says. "I couldn’t see myself in the future, in a way, because there were not so many people in the ’80s or early ’90s that could show me a direction. For me, working with Beyoncé, it’s more than only music. It’s about history, working with a woman that’s going to be part of the history and has made her own revolution, not only in music, not only in fashion. She is an icon to an entire generation and so many more generations can follow the steps of Beyoncé and say, ‘You give us hope, you make us dream.’”

This isn’t the first time Rousteing has used his design powers for good. In May, he dressed another iconic Black woman, French film star Aïssa Maïga, as well as 17 other Black actresses, for the Cannes Film Festival steps in protest of the racism that continues to perpetuate our society. Following the Met Gala on May 7, Rousteing auctioned off the custom pieces he made for Jennifer Lopez, Alex Rodriguez, Trevor Noah, Juliette Binoche, Natalia Vodianova, Natasha Poly, and Julia Stegner, with 100% of the proceeds going towards (RED) 's Global Fund, which works to eliminate the transmission of HIV from mothers to their babies.

Balmain's collaboration with Beyoncé, which is priced from $290 (£220) to $1,790 (£1,340), will be available on July 13 on Balmain.com and Beyonce.com.

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I first started climbing in 2013, wearing an old pair of someone else's shoes, scrabbling across damp Massachusetts rock, with a belayer who only kind of remembered how to set up her ATC (a device that maintains tension on a climbing rope). I've since learned the value of a good pair of shoes and the importance of triple-checking the safety of my gear and surroundings, but even under those shoddy circumstances I knew rock climbing was the sport for me.

Rock climbing, along with other outdoor activities, was named one of the American College of Sports Medicine's top fitness trends of 2018. Its rise to popularity is undeniable, and if you give it a try and get bit by the climbing bug like I did, the rest is history. But if you associate climbing walls more with Spider-Man than with any mere mortal, it can seem pretty daunting at first. Despite its obvious Spidey connections, climbing is pretty beginner-friendly, as long as you take the time to get prepared.

As with any other sport, there are a few rudimentary steps you'll have to take to get into climbing, like joining a gym near you and shopping for the necessary gear (although most gyms have shoes, harnesses, and chalk available to rent). But, as Gavi Weiner, an REI Outdoor School instructor based in Denver, tells us, climbing is more than just a workout. It's a brainteaser, a gateway to a whole new community, and an opportunity to develop enough hand dexterity that you can open a door while holding a coffee cup.

It's only natural, then, that there are a few additional things you ought to know about climbing before diving in. Ahead, Weiner shares five 101-level lessons about climbing, from the most common misconceptions to how they can make the most of their time on the wall.

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Welcome to Money Diaries, where we're tackling what might be the last taboo facing modern working women: money. We're asking a cross-section of women how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period – and we're tracking every last penny.

This week we're with a 31-year-old woman who left full-time employment for mental health reasons.

"I studied music at university and graduated in 2007. After that I had a career in the catering industry as a manager, earning £25k. I had a mental breakdown in 2012 which left me unable to work for almost a year. I was so unwell that the only job I could do for years was waitressing part-time for minimum wage because the stress of being in a management role sent me into a downward spiral. I spent a few years freelancing on the side and now I am fully self-employed as a writer, but I also sell zines on Etsy and run mental health events to make ends meet. I have a book deal and am working on my first memoir. I still earn about minimum wage but it’s the best option for my mental health because some days I can’t get out of bed because my depression and anxiety are so bad."

Industry: Writing
Age: 31
Location: West Midlands
Salary: Roughly £14,000
Paycheque amount: £1,000-£1,200
Number of housemates: One, my husband

Monthly Expenses

Housing costs: Rent is £775 split between the two of us
Loan payments: Credit card debt £60
Utilities: Council tax £150, Insurance etc £100, Electricity/gas £150
Transportation: £50
Phone bill: £60
Savings? Try to put aside £100 per month for tax bill
Other: Business expenses (web hosting, travel, social media scheduling, software, stationery, laptop, printing and postage costs) total around £300 per month

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Hair slides have been making a steady comeback since their debut on the SS18 runways. Ashley Williams ' crystal-encrusted "GIRLS" and "BOYS" hair pins, Versace 's gold medusa hair slides and Simone Rocha 's pearl hair clips have provided ample inspiration to high street retailers and celebrity tastemakers alike.

We must give credit to Solange's A Seat At The Table album cover for ushering this '90s trend into the spotlight, as well as Bella Hadid, Leandra Medine Cohen and the numerous backstage photos of models wearing cloth-covered hair clips while they wait in hair and makeup. But it's none other than pop star Ariana Grande who has pinned hair slides right next to other ubiquitous trends of the moment like skinny sunglasses and square-neck tops.

Ahead are some easy-to-wear hair slides, clips and pins that will upgrade your hair game in a snap.

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The Cut, presented by the BFI, is a monthly series of short films where creatives talk through the effect that independent cinema has had on their aesthetic.

With previous shorts from fashion designer Bella Freud and set designer Es Devlin, the latest instalment comes courtesy of artist and photographer Juno Calypso. Under the surface of Juno's hyper-feminine pink images is a subversive darkness – the horror of isolation, ritual of romance and physical perfection. She is the subject of her photographs, creating a sinister character that hides behind masks, wigs and costumes.

The Lobster, The Arbor and Rita, Sue and Bob Too are three of Calypso's all-time favourite films, which mirror the isolation in her work and explore this generation's obsession with tragic young women. Refinery29 met Juno at her East London studio to find out more about The Cut, her fascination with horror films, and who would play her in the movie of her life.

Besides those three, which other films did you consider including?

There was one film that I didn't have time, which is Suspiria. It's a very Tumblr film. I only just watched it last night so I couldn't talk about it, but it's beautiful. It's so 70s and I thought the story would just be screaming girls everywhere but I like that there is a real, scary monster at the end. Dakota Johnson is starring in the remake, so you never know, 50 shades of pink, maybe? I like films when they're old and badly made... well-made but with that old CGI horror.

Is there anything that links the films you chose?

They all have a little dark humour in them. They're really sad, really depressing topics but shot beautifully and with that little bit of cynical humour. It's like, this is sad, but you've got to laugh otherwise you'll cry – that kind of attitude.

Your work explores rituals of femininity and our obsession with romance, in what way do the films that you've chosen reflect this?

The Lobster really reminded me of my honeymoon project. This place where it's all about couples – a very monogamous place. I guess it could be like the psycho-geography of that place, where it's just designed for romance and how weird that is as a concept.

Suspiria, The Arbor and Rita, Sue and Bob Too are all about young women in dark times kind of finding themselves but losing themselves. Suspiria obviously has a male director and he's fetishised and exploited that, but Andrea Dunbar's films are about real life horror. They're about real troubles like addiction and your children getting taken away. That is true life.

It's all the same sort of thing: things going wrong but it's okay if they go wrong because that's life, that is what life is. The films are very realistic, I think. Apart from Suspiria, that's not realistic at all but it's beautiful, my god. I was screenshotting the whole way through.

It's all the same sort of thing - things going wrong but it's okay if they go wrong because that's life, that is what life is.

In a movie of your life, who would play you, what would the genre and the opening score be?

The genre would be a dark-but-real-life comedy in a similar way to Rita, Sue and Bob Too with a bit of Black Swan to it – that kind of theatricalness. When I was little, everyone would say I looked like the actress Christina Ricci, who played Wednesday Addams. I like how she's aged, she's got even more fucked up but in a good way. She was a very cute innocent child and now she's in a lot of weird films so definitely her for the actress. The soundtrack would be one of those 80s power ballads with the woman singing and the synths... Donna Summer – "I feel love".

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Donald Trump arrives in the UK tomorrow for the first time since he became President of the US. During his working visit, he will meet with the Queen in Windsor, Prime Minister Theresa May at her Chequers country estate, play golf at one of his Scottish golf courses – and face mass resistance from the British public (there's also the possibility of a meeting with friend and ex-foreign secretary Boris Johnson).

The US president may have described the UK as a nation "in turmoil", but he hasn't seen anything yet. Thousands of people are expected to protest around the UK and the police are likely to come under "unquestionable pressure". The biggest mobilisation of police officers since the 2011 London riots looks set to be on guard over the coming days.

One of the president's most high-profile critics in the UK, Sadiq Khan, is even getting in on the anti-Trump action, with the London Mayor giving the green light to let a giant "Trump Baby" balloon fly over the capital.

HUGE news coming in: DONALD J TRUMP BABY WILL FLY! @SadiqKhan tried to play hard ball - in the end he had to make a Deal. No surprise - he's never won anything in his life! Sad - but True! London here I come! https://t.co/j3KCPimHI2 pic.twitter.com/oc2VKWKSN1

— Trump Baby (@TrumpBabyUK) July 5, 2018

"If it's peaceful and if it's safe. Look, I can't be the censor. It's not for me to decide what's in good taste or bad taste," he told ITV's Good Morning Britain, but we'll bet he's secretly excited to see it for himself. Londoners can catch a glimpse of the 20ft (6m) balloon, which was made possible through a crowdfunding campaign, above Parliament Square throughout the President's visit.

There is also campaign to get Green Day's "American Idiot" to number 1 on the UK singles charts.

When and where to protest

Demonstrations against Trump are planned across the country throughout his four-day UK visit. There are two big demos taking place on Thursday 12th July. In London, the campaign group Together Against Trump is holding a protest outside the US Ambassador's residence in Regent's Park from 5.30-7.30pm. The Facebook event, 'Trump not welcome - make noise as he arrives,' urges attendees to bring megaphones, whistles, pots and pans to "create a wall of sound to give him the (un)welcome he deserves".

There's also a demonstration in Oxfordshire on Thursday. Campaign group Oxford Stand Up To Racism will be outside Blenheim Palace, where Trump will dine with business leaders in the evening. Between 5.30-7.30pm they'll be "[saying] no to rolling out the red carpet for the world's number 1 racist."

Many different groups are taking to the streets across the country on Friday 13th July. Campaigners will demonstrate outside Chequers in the morning between 10 am-1pm to protest Trump and May's "racist scapegoating of migrants, Muslims and refugees"; while in Scotland demos are due to take place in Glasgow and Dundee.

There will be even bigger events happening in London. Women's March London will be at Portland Place in the morning and will hold a 'Bring The Noise' rally outside Parliament Square from 2-4pm, which has received the backing of groups and charities including Women for Refugee Women, the End Violence Against Women Coalition, Hope Not Hate, Stonewall and other LGBTQ+ groups. Attendees are being urged to make noice and wear vibrant rainbow colours to "send a powerful message of strength and colourful solidarity".

Protesters from groups including Stop Trump and Together Against Trump will also be meeting outside BBC Broadcasting House in Portland Place at 2pm, before marching through Oxford Circus and Regent Street and assembling in Trafalgar Square. Between 5-7pm the biggest protest against the president's UK visit will take place at the landmark site, with more than 50,000 people expected to show up.

Brits will also voice their dissent on Saturday 14th July. Protests will take place in Edinburgh from 12-4pm with protesters meeting outside the Scottish Parliament before making their way past the US Consulate and finishing in the Meadows park.

How to protest as a first-timer

The nationwide outcry against the President looks likely to attract hundreds of thousands of people across the UK, some of whom will be marching for the first time.

If you're a first-time demonstrator, follow these tips from environmental charity Friends of the Earth, whose online Trump protest pack also includes printable placards, practical information for attending rallies and even a #StopTrump slogan generator.

Go in a group (if possible). Demonstrations are generally peaceful and welcoming, "but pairing up with a friend with more experience or bringing along a fellow first-timer is a great way to boost your confidence ahead of your first march".

Wear comfortable clothes, bring snacks and water. It's obvious, but don't wear painful shoes, bring sun cream, a packable raincoat just in case and snacks and water. You'll need to keep your energy levels up!

Plan your meeting point. It can be difficult to get phone signal during a busy protest, so it's best to travel with friends from the outset or arrange a specific meeting point before the event starts.

Identify the issues you care about most. "From racist policies and a complete disregard for the environment, to misogyny and attempted silencing of the media; Trump has been hugely successful in giving pretty much everyone a cause to demonstrate against him," the charity says. Work out which "bloc(s)" at the demos you most identify with, be it the feminist groups, environmental groups, anti-racist groups or others.Then go show solidarity.

Get creative and colourful. If you have time, take inspiration from the ingenuous ones at the Trump Women's March and make a placard. "From creative wordplay to bold colours, placards are what form the most memorable images from demonstrations," says Friends of the Earth.

Be open to making new friends. Demonstrations are a great place to meet new people and make friends, and the charity suggests bringing chocolates, satsumas or music to share with others and lift the mood.

Post to social media if possible. Hashtags are "the best way of spreading the message as far as possible, especially among those who are unable to join the demonstration." Just don't forget to enjoy the moment – and keep your tech items on you at all times.

Be ready for what comes next. One march won't solve all our problems and what happens next matters, the charity says. "From joining a campaigning organisation, writing to your MP, or just talking to your friends and family about the issues you’ve campaigned around - there’s lots you can do to keep the demonstration going."

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Yet another woman tasked with leading Uber 's turnaround has resigned.

Liane Hornsey, Uber's head of HR, sent an email to staff announcing her departure yesterday. Her resignation came a day after Reuters reportedly reached out to Uber about an investigation into allegations that Hornsey and the human resources department dismissed racial discrimination complaints from employees.

“We are confident that the investigation was conducted in an unbiased, thorough and credible manner, and that the conclusions of the investigation were addressed appropriately," an Uber spokesperson said in a statement to Refinery29.

According to Reuters, Hornsey said in a farewell email that she had been considering leaving Uber for some time.

Hornsey joined Uber in January 2017, a month before Susan Fowler published her viral blog post about the company's toxic culture that ultimately led to the resignation of CEO Travis Kalanick and the firing of top executives. Hornsey was viewed as one of a few senior level women, alongside Bozoma Saint John, Uber's Chief Brand Officer, Frances Frei, the SVP of Leadership & Strategy, and Rachel Holt, Uber's regional general manager of the U.S. and Canada, who could set a new course for the company.

Hornsey's resignation makes Holt, now Uber's head of New Modalities, the only one still actively involved in the company on a day-to-day basis from that list: Saint John left in June to become CMO of entertainment company Endeavor; Frei stepped down from her role in February, though she still serves as an advisor.

In an interview conducted in June 2017, shortly after former U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder finished his investigation into the company's culture, Hornsey told Refinery29 she felt positively about changes that had been made: "“We have traditionally underinvested in HR. But since I joined in January, I’ve since doubled the size of my team and now we have many more processes in place so people can come to us quickly and more importantly, we can take swift action. For example, we have a new employee relations team, who are solely dedicated to addressing people’s concerns. We have a zero tolerance for bad behaviour at Uber now.”

However, Hornsey drew criticism from others in the tech community after an October 2017 interview with The Wall Street Journal, when she responded to a question about implementation of the Rooney Rule, an effort to increase the number of women and minorities in leadership positions, saying, "I’ve got to be honest, it’s going to be bloody hard when it comes to engineering. We’re starting where it’s easier, such as in my function, where there are more women. I’m really scratching my head about how the hell I do this in engineering, and I’m going to really have to try."

This past March, Uber settled a class action discrimination suit, representing women and people of colour at the company, for £7.5 million.

According to The Wall Street Journal, a deputy, Pranesh Anthapur, will serve as Uber's interim head of HR.

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Mohammad Sarfaraz Hussain was supposed to come out in "three minutes" from a quick check-in with a Transportation Security Administration (TSA) official after arriving at the William P. Hobby Airport in Houston, TX on the evening of July 3. Or at least, that's what the official told his sister Shahla Shahnawaz.

Instead, Hussain, a 23-year-old Pakistani immigrant with a valid student visa, was arrested by US Customs and Border Protection (CBP) agents and is now in the custody of US Immigration and Custom Enforcement, also known as ICE. Shahnawaz, 27, thinks her little brother was detained without cause.

"They were pushing my brother so he would say anything that would make him deportable," she said. "He has no criminal record and he didn't do anything wrong."

Hussain was born in Pakistan and grew up in Bahrain, the youngest of four siblings. When he turned 18 in 2013, he applied for a student visa and moved to the US Shahnawaz said that her brother, who has learning disabilities, had originally been studying computer science at Austin Community College in Texas. But last October, she lost her job and was unable to support him, so Hussain deferred the semester because of financial hardship after consulting with the school and the US Immigration and Citizenship Services (USCIS). He then transferred to Houston Community College.

Hussain's five-year student visa was set to expire on July 8. His immigration attorney and a school counsellor told him he needed to leave the US and re-enter the country in order to complete the process of extending his student visa. Following this advice and armed with his valid visa and an I-20 form, which proved Hussain was legally enrolled in school, last week the siblings traveled to Cancun, Mexico for a day.

"He was a bit afraid," she said, "but I told him, 'Don't worry. I'm with you and I'm US national. You have done nothing wrong and you're a student, so what could happen?'"

Turns out, the end of the trip would become their worst nightmare. Hussain was interviewed by airport officials for four hours before being arrested by CBP and put in immediate removal proceedings. But because he said he was afraid of being sent to Pakistan, he was transferred to ICE custody.

Shahnawaz believes that her brother was coerced into a false confession and that his detention might had been racially motivated. She added that an officer by the last name of Forrester involved in the detention of Hussain taunted her as she waited that evening, saying her brother wouldn't step on to US soil if it was up to him. "He had so much hatred," she said. "[He asked] 'Why are you here? Why is your family here? I'm going to come after them next." (Refinery29 wasn't able to independently confirm the official's identity with CBP or TSA.)

An ICE spokesperson told Refinery29 that the reason Hussain was detained was because he violated the terms of his student visa.

“On July 3, 2018, Mohammad Sarfaraz Hussain, 23, a citizen of Pakistan, attempted to enter the US after a flight from Mexico with a valid US non-immigrant student visa. However, during his entry attempt, he confirmed under oath that he never attended school, and that he was illegally working in the United States — both are violations of the terms of his nonimmigrant visa," the spokesperson said via email. "US immigration authorities detained Hussain and placed him in expedited removal because he is inadmissible to the U.S. as an intended immigrant without possessing a valid immigrant visa. Hussain remains in ICE custody pending immigration proceedings.”

But Shahnawaz said that the agency is not telling the truth. "We have school records," she said. "How can they say he never went to school?"

She added that her brother never violated the terms of his visa by working and might have been coerced into telling immigration officials that he did. "God knows what kind of pressure he was under for four hours to say that under oath," she said. "The only thing he did was sometimes fix stuff for relatives or family friends, but that's not really working."

Claudia Valenzuela, detention project director at the National Immigrant Justice Center, said the advice the siblings got from their immigration attorney was flawed.

"It’s generally very risky to travel when your status is about to expire, including if you're a student," she said. "In our experience, student visas are very difficult to renew when you’re out of status, especially if you're detained."

It's now been a week since Hussain was detained. At first, Shahnawaz was not informed of where he was, so she spent Independence Day going from one detention facility to another across the Houston area trying to find him. He was able to call her at the end of the day and let her know where he was being held.

"He told me, 'I was transported today. I slept at a bench at Hobby Airport. Did I do something wrong?' I asked whether he had signed something," she said. "He said, 'Yes. They made me sign something and now I'm here. Can I come out?'"

Because of the process he's currently in, there's no way to post bond and have him return home while he awaits for his case to be resolved. And since he technically didn't step into US soil, Hussain is not protected by the US Constitution.

"Your rights are really diminished when you're seeking admission in the US Once you're detained at an airport, which is a port of entry, you have very little rights and very little recourse," Valenzuela said. "There's no review of the decision to deny you entry to the US on a visa. Essentially, the law creates some real hurdles on permitting the courts to have jurisdiction over these decisions. Your only recourse is if you express fear of returning to your country, that's the only way you can get before an immigration court."

That's what Hussain did. But as he waits, Shahnawaz said that she's mostly worried about his mental health, given the conditions within the for-profit detention centre where he is being held and the whole ordeal he's going through.

"He said the conditions inside are very dire," she said. "Inside there are red, orange, and blue cells. Blue is mostly people who tried to cross the border illegally or that have no criminal record. Orange and red are people with criminal records. He was placed in the orange cell originally because the blue cells were so full."

She added: "There are students and people with green cards inside with him. People with disabilities. He keeps asking, 'Why am I being treated as a criminal? I didn't do anything.' I'm scared for his mental health and what toll being detained might have on him."

According to Valenzuela, many immigration detention centres have a long history of lacking adequate conditions.

"It doesn’t surprise me at all. We routinely get complaints by the folks we serve in detention," Valenzuela said, "It ranges from lack of adequate food to lack of adequate medical care to just the conditions of the facility itself. With stepped up immigration enforcement, we're hearing that facilities are overcrowded. It’s not out of ordinary that the conditions at the detention centre would be extremely deficient."

Hussain's family is now expecting him to take his credible fear interview, which will determine whether he gets to stay in the US pending an asylum case or he gets deported.

"Our religion teaches us to practice patience and be grateful no matter the hardship. But then reality hits and I realise I might get married or have a child and my brother might not be there to witness it because he might deported," Shahnawaz said, her voice breaking.

She added, "You come to the States because you want to live in a place [where everyone has] rights and freedom. But if you're afraid of your rights and your freedom being stripped away, is this really the right place for you anymore?"

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Warning: This story contains mild spoilers for Eighth Grade.

Elsie Fisher had almost given up on acting when Eighth Grade came along. At 13 years old, and living in a suburb north of Los Angeles, she couldn't see herself in any of the roles she auditioned for — physically, or mentally. "Roles for teens aren’t the best right now, especially ones with acne," she explained to Refinery29 in an interview.

That was before she saw a casting call for Bo Burnham's coming-of-age film, in which she gives a star-making performance as Kayla, a girl on the cusp of adolescence who doles out life advice via her YouTube channel — even if she can't quite follow it herself.

What makes Eighth Grade feel so entirely new is that it feels like the real deal, the first in-depth look at Generation Z, on their own terms. The film doesn't judge, or criticise; it shows a young teenage girl's journey to self-acceptance in all its messy, touching, awkward glory. And yes, there's acne.

Ahead, Fisher, now 15, opens up about her performance, social media, and what she thinks people get wrong about her generation.

Refinery29: The movie takes place in the last week of middle school. How much of your own eighth grade experience did you channel to play Kayla?

Elsie Fisher: "Most of it. We went into pre-production a week after I ended eighth grade, so it felt very true. I haven’t gone through every situation Kayla has, but it’s very emotionally biographical for me."

How did your eighth grade experience compare to Kayla's?

"Looking back, I don’t think anyone can have eighth grade figured out while they’re still going through it. But now I have perspective on it. My eighth grade year sucked. It was awful."

Why did it suck?

“I thought a lot for my age, so I was very in my head, but then when I tried to do anything that required me interacting with people, or using my body to talk, I felt very immature. I stumbled, or because I’m so anxious, sometimes I’d freak out. I was the weird kid, and everyone was like ‘That’s Elsie, she’s probably not human.’ I had two sides to me: I was either the really, really quiet kid who ate alone in the library, or the weird spastic kid who’s freaking out for no reason. Who like, licked the sidewalk. True story.”

You said that you almost quit acting because of the lack of good roles for teens. Can you elaborate more on what you mean?

“In a lot of media nowadays, teen is a stereotype, not an age anymore. It’s just generic dialogue. Or, they’re another stereotype, like ‘popular.’ They don’t have any depth to them. And they’re so well-spoken — that’s not how anyone talks. And then I read Kayla’s first video, which was my first audition, and I just fell in love with her."

Do you feel more positive about acting now?

“Oh for sure! And hopefully I can get some more jobs after this. But I’ve gone through phases where I just haven’t worked in a while. And I hate auditioning, but I love working! Truly. Put me in the environment and I can get into the character, but auditions feel so weird. You’re in a room... It was at a time in my life where I have to start thinking about what I’m going to do for the future, what’s my career going to be. I was missing school for auditions, and nothing was coming up. I decided ‘Maybe acting isn’t for me, because it’s not working out right now.’ And then this came along, and it swept me off my feet like, 'We got you, Elsie.'"

You mentioned something before about the way teens talk. To me, one of the best things about the movie was how real the characters sounded. Was that in the script from the beginning, or were there things you had to tell Bo Burnham to change for accuracy?

“The only thing I had [Bo] change was, originally, all of Kayla’s DMs and social media stuff was through Facebook. And so I went up to him and went, ‘Nobody uses Facebook anymore, what is this for, my aunt?’ So, he changed it from Facebook to Instagram. That was the only thing I corrected him on.”

Who came up with Kayla's YouTube sign off,"Gucci!"?

"Me! That was my nervous tic I did in pre-production. I was on the East Coast for the first time, and I’d lived in California my whole life. That was one level of freaking out. And then Bo was basically my idol, so that was another level of freaking out. And then we were making a movie, and I hadn’t worked in forever, so that was a third level of freaking out! So, I would walk out of the room after we had practiced doing Kayla’s videos, and I was like, ‘Okay, Gucci.’ And then [Bo] started doing it once we got on set to embarrass me. And it became a big inside joke. We actually have stickers that one of the camera people made for us. We filmed all the videos back in [Los Angeles], and he wanted me to have a sign-off — because a lot of young YouTubers do — and it had to be that. It had to.”

There's a scene where your character is just in bed scrolling through Instagram and seeing all these perfect pictures of the kids she knows, which just drives home the idea that teens today have to figure out who they are in this very public, performative way. Do you ever wish your generation didn’t have as much access to all this stuff?

"Definitely. I feel like people with growing brains — there should be a test that they have to pass to have access to most of the internet. Great things can spawn from it, but if you’re allowed this unlimited access to social media whenever, especially with phones — they’re literally in your pocket all the time — it’s changing our brain chemistry. It’s lowering our patience, it’s increasing our need for intake of facts, and likes. There should be more restrictions on it. I’m not saying take it away entirely, though!"

How much time do you spend on social media?

"Too much. I want to imagine that after watching the movie, and talking about it for 75 years, my relationship with it has changed, but it really hasn’t. I’m probably more addicted than ever. I just think about it more, and I get more depressed about it."

What do you think people get wrong about Gen Z?

"I think that they just don’t have context for why Gen Z is on the phone all the time. That’s hopefully what we did with the the movie — we showed the day that Kayla had before getting on the phone at the dinner table. They just think we’re self-obsessed, tech-obsessed, and it’s all narcissistic. The only reason we’re self-obsessed is that’s what we’ve been raised to think. If you see kids of this generation, they were born to perform. Young kids will like, pretend to have YouTube channels, and they’re being raised to be seen. So, it’s not us all wanting to be famous, it’s just how life is for a lot of us."

Do you get the feeling that eighth grade is harder on girls today? I was just thinking of when I was in eighth grade, and I was trying to come to terms with myself, but I wasn't also competing with people online.

"I think it’s harder for everyone —  girls especially. I think with the internet comes a lot more self-awareness, [and] maturity is linked to that, so questions are being asked of us younger, and we have to figure out the way that we present ourselves younger. But there are really great things about it too. Especially for people who are LGBTQ+, they can find their communities online and connect with people.

"[Girls] are more self-aware, but that can be good, too, because they can figure out who they are earlier and just be happier. There’s two sides to the internet, I guess."

Speaking of being a girl today. There's a scene in the film in which your character plays truth or dare with an older boy in his car, and he asks her to take her shirt off. There's no overt assault, but it still feels traumatic for Kayla. What was that like to film?

"I think the whole point of the scene is for it to be violent and intrusive. It doesn’t need to go where you think it is. That’s something that can traumatise Kayla forever. So, we wanted to approach it sensitively when we were filming. But we had like six people in the car, and I had my script in my lap. It was very chill."

Has it made you think about your own interactions with boys?

"I’ve always tried to be conscious about that, especially because I was, as the male crowd would say, 'one of the guys.' But it gave me another perspective to think about. Because now, I feel like men can be so toxic. And it’s just gross. Especially boys. Like, boys in high school and middle school [are] such a toxic thing. There’s like two okay ones that actually think and are self-aware."

My favourite part about that scene is how complicated it is. That boy doesn't think he's done anything wrong. He thinks he's doing Kayla a favour.

"The thing is that a lot of toxic situations like that are portrayed with men being like, piggy and terrible. Or just very evil. They seem very obviously bad. The thing with [this] character, and that type of situation, I think is more relevant now. Guys who are thoughtful and often sincere, and they’re the quiet kid or nerdy, and you can relate to them, and [they] become your friend. And they use that to manipulate you in those situations."

You’re really coming up in the business at a time where those issues are front and centre. What's that been like?

"At least we’re starting to talk about these issues, and hopefully scenes like the car scene can start conversations about this, and bring it up even more. Because that’s the only way we can get past this and bring light to it, is by talking about it, and understanding the problem, and being honest about it."

If you had to give advice to girls who are going to see this movie, in the style of your character’s vlog, what would you tell them?

"[Quoting Kayla] 'Be. Yourself.' No honestly, that’s my advice. I spent so much time trying to be blah blah blah whatever to impress people. But I wasn’t happy doing that. I’m not entirely happy now but I feel more comfortable. If you learn to be comfortable with yourself sooner, life will feel better as a whole. So, yeah. Be yourself."

Interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Eighth Grade is in US cinemas on July 13 (UK release TBC).

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Most of the couples I know didn't start out as couples. Instead, they "hooked up" for several months and eventually found themselves in relationships. One friend was hooking up with her now-boyfriend for over a year when she heard that he had slept with someone else and gave him an ultimatum: they'd either be in a relationship or stop hooking up altogether. He counts the day she gave him the ultimatum as their anniversary, while she usually tells people they've been together since the first time they hooked up.

Another friend can't really pinpoint a time when she and her now-boyfriend stopped hooking up and started being a couple. It just kind of happened, and because they never DTR (defined the relationship), they don't have an official anniversary. My girlfriend and I also had a complicated path to our relationship. We hooked up for four months before she asked me to make it official. We count our anniversary as the day we DTR, but we could just as easily count it as the day of our first date (which would make our relationship significantly longer).

Maybe it seems weird that my friends and I have such similar stories, but it's a product of how we grew up. We're in full swing of a hookup culture, where it's expected that we'll have casual sexual relationships, at least until things don't feel so casual anymore. And if we're at all indicative of larger trends, this kind of hookup culture is changing the way we think about anniversaries.

But that's not really shocking, says Lisa Wade, PhD, a professor of sociology and author of American Hookup. Hookup culture is just the latest iteration of dating, which changes all the time. In fact, people didn't really have anniversaries (apart from their wedding anniversaries) until the 1950s, she says. We have the idea of "going steady," meaning that it's normal to have a long-term monogamous relationship before getting married, because of World War II. " The New York Times was telling young women that they lost 800,000 men in World War II," she says. And that's true. Lots of men died, many married women from overseas, and many came back knowing that they were gay because they were able to explore their sexuality while at war. "There was a big media push telling young women that they better nail down their guys early, because if they didn't get a guy they'd be an old biddy for life," Dr. Wade says. "So women invented going steady to try to make up for all the men that were gone."

And with going steady, we got anniversaries. So it makes sense that with another big change in dating culture, now focusing on casual relationships instead of serious ones, we'd start to see the idea of anniversaries change again.

In retrospect, it makes the other kind of dating culture, where you go from having a few dates to suddenly being boyfriend and girlfriend, seem really rash.

While hookup culture seems like a really new thing, it's been around since the 1990s, Dr. Wade says. And it's a product of women who were raised with the feminist ideals of Baby Boomers, who wanted women to be able to do what men could do. "The daughters of those boomers, their whole life, get taught that it's okay if you want to be girly, but it's cooler if you want to be boyish. And it might even be what liberation looks like," Dr. Wade says. When those women went to college, they applied that logic to sex and started having casual relationships.

Eventually, the "script" of hookup culture spread, and many young people (especially those who went to college) learned a new way of building relationships. "In hookup culture either you don't or you have to pretend that you don't have any romantic interest," Dr. Wade says. "So that doesn't just affect the initial contact, it affects the transition into a relationship." Socially, it's kind of dangerous to admit that you have feelings for someone. So instead of unloading our feelings, many of us find more creative ways into a relationship. "Maybe at first you've hooked up and then the next stage of the relationship is that you're hooking up, and then you're just hooking up with each other, but you're not in a relationship," Dr. Wade says. It's a series of baby steps that can eventually end in a committed relationship. But chances are good that the day a couple typically counts as their anniversary will get muddled along the way.

Some might use that fact to poo-poo hookup culture, and talk about how it's ruining love. But that would be a disservice, Dr. Wade says. Sure, there are problems with a hyper-masculine hookup culture that decides who is and isn't desirable (often, fat people, people with disabilities, and many other marginalised groups get the short stick). But, the relationship baby steps that hookup culture has created are actually kind of smart. "In retrospect, it makes the other kind of dating culture, where you go from having a few dates to suddenly being boyfriend and girlfriend seem really rash, right? That's a big step to take all at once," Dr. Wade says.

In comparison, the hookup culture strategy is much safer. People who wind up in relationships now spend a lot of time considering the relationship first (while enjoying all of the benefits of casual sex). "It problematises the picking of a day, sure. But it also reveals how artificial the picking of the day always was," Dr. Wade says. "And how it's really just a social construction that we're supposed to have a day in the first place." And if anniversaries are a social construct, anyway, does it really matter if you have one?

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Did you know we've got a Money Diaries Facebook group?

Yep, for those of you who can't wait until Wednesday rolls around for a fresh Money Diary to hit your inbox, there's now a place you can go and get your fix along with other hardcore MD fans. A place where you can get extra content relating to that week's Money Diary as well as discuss, in private, what you thought that week's diarist did right.

What we didn't expect when we set this group up was for it to turn into a one-stop shop for millennials' financial problems. You guys are so smart when it comes to money. From which ISA to get, to how to deal with a mortgage, to which debit card to use, there's no question too small or too silly for the group to take on.

To prove it, we thought we'd bring some of the MD group's wisdom onsite, starting with their suggestions for how to get money off everything. Click through for some great tips and add your own suggestions, either in the comments or head over and join the FB group yourself.

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It's no secret that we want our skincare to be an extension of our boujie lifestyles – just take a look at R29's at-home facial routines. But alongside luxe ingredients like silk and pure rosewater, we're seeing a huge surge in gold. Yep, pure solid gold.

Now, anything that Cleopatra was rumoured to use in her beauty routine is certainly welcome on our #shelfie. According to history textbooks, ancient Egyptians often used gold in their cosmetics so that their skin retained youthfulness. Called the 'flesh of the gods', the sought-after mineral was also highly regarded in ancient Greece and Japan for its supposed ability to heal inflammation, slow the ageing process, treat sun damage, boost collagen and lend pallid complexions a radiant glow.

Tradition aside, a handful of skin experts argue that the precious metal has antioxidant (take that, pollution) as well as anti-inflammatory properties, which means it could help alleviate redness. Whether it works a treat on skin or simply serves to make our skincare routines a little more luxe, all manner of skincare brands are jumping on the gold bandwagon, formulating everything from masks to moisturisers with the expensive stuff.

Click through for the best gold-infused products, all sure to give your skin the royal treatment.

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Championing the benefits of meditation has become the norm at this point, when everyone – from UK schoolchildren to hotshot CEOs – seem to be doing it. But that doesn't mean they're not worth repeating. Meditation has been linked to reduced stress and anxiety, increased focus and concentration, lower blood pressure, better mood and even stronger relationships.

Nonetheless, it's easy to discount the practice if you don't consider yourself a Meditation Person. Maybe you're a Type A who thinks it's self-indulgent to dedicate time that could otherwise be spent working or caregiving to breathing deeply. Maybe you're scared of being left with your thoughts for too long, preferring to fill your mind with music or podcasts. Or maybe you're just too sarcastic and sceptical to bother trying.

This was ABC News anchor and New York Times bestselling author Dan Harris, before a nationally televised panic attack prompted him to reexamine his life and begin an odyssey of self-help. Meditation was crucial in helping him tame his internal monologue and his new book, Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics, promises to convert even the most dubious and restless among us.

A big reason why many people shun meditation is the view that it is self-indulgent, like many rituals that fall under the self-care umbrella, Harris argues. Too many people believe "the most self-indulgent flavour of self-care imaginable is sitting with your eyes closed, doing nothing". But Harris aims to stamp out this perception, which is pervasive in a world where being overworked and underslept are status symbols – despite the renewed importance placed on self-care.

If you want to care for others, it's impossible to do so effectively if you're not taking proper care of yourself, he says. "It’s the old cliché from the airline safety instructions: put your own mask on before assisting others. In fact, neglecting to engage in a little bit of smart maintenance may leave you so bedraggled and resentful that it ends up having a negative effect on the people you are ostensibly trying to help."

Here is an easy meditation practice, extracted from Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics, anchored in self-compassion and the belief that you deserve to give a shit about yourself, no justification required.

Giving A Shit About Yourself Meditation

One to 15 minutes, can be done in a few moments or as part of a longer practice

Start in the usual way: eyes closed or half closed. Relaxing into the posture as you breathe out, straightening up the spine as you breathe in. Setting an intention here to not get too uptight about things, to go along with the experiment. Take a few breaths to get settled.

Get curious about what’s going on with you in this moment. Is there any way in which you aren’t totally fine? Maybe there is some rushy anxiousness, or a dull heartache, or a feeling of stress. Or maybe there is some clear physical discomfort happening. Or maybe there is nothing like this at all. Sometimes we’re just idling along in neutral. All of these states are fine. All we need to do here is sit with exactly what’s happening inside us, not trying to fix anything. The beginning of compassion is allowing: allowing ourselves to feel what we feel, to be this exact person at this exact time. Just breathing into our bodies and sitting in this accepting way with ourselves.

Now for the self-compassion part. Start by connecting to a simple intention inside yourself to be well. There’s nothing necessarily sentimental here – we’re talking about the extremely reasonable desire to be healthy and not in pain. A short phrase here can help: May I be well. This is different from noting or using a mantra; it’s using a short phrase to highlight your intention. If that language sounds lofty or artificial, use a different one: It’s okay, or Feel better. Choose words that feel natural to you. The key is to connect to your own sensible aspiration for your discomfort to pass. You are not trying to fix the problem or think about all its permutations. Put that all aside. You are going below it, to the most simple and uncomplicated intention: Obviously, I’d prefer not to suffer. Who wouldn’t?

Some people recruit an image to help with this, for example, the image of themselves as a little kid. This can help kick in some nice warm feelings, although warm feelings aren’t required. You can imagine yourself as a four-year-old running around in a park with ice cream smeared all over your face and then you wipe out and start bawling. "Oh, man! May you be well, little lady/dude/gender-nonbinary kiddo." Can you connect to the reasonable feeling of wanting that kid – you – to be happy, to no longer be in pain? You can use any scenario, real or imagined, that works for you. And of course you can use an adult version of yourself too, because that kid is still inside you, nested like a Russian doll inside your years of learning and living.

May I be well. The practice is returning, again and again, to the simple intention for you to be well, and then sending that intention to yourself. You can use an image to help with the latter, or – if images are tricky – you can simply focus on the embodied sense of yourself sitting. May I be well. It helps to smile. Notice what feelings come up. All are fine and natural – the specific feelings are secondary to your intention. You may feel loving or calm. If so, great – enjoy. Or you may feel annoyed or self-conscious. Also no problem. If the latter occur, have a sense of humour about the backfiring hilarity of this meditative situation, and send that sense of humour down and into your black, black heart. Compassion by another name. There’s always a workaround.

May I be well. Connect to the reasonableness of the intention behind your words. May I be well. For real. Like everyone else on the planet, you’re doing the best you can. May I be well. May all of us be well. Recognising our shared human condition. There can be something very poignant about this.

So that’s the main part of it. You’re sitting there repeating your phrase, and as you do you’re continually reconnecting to the simple intention for your suffering to ease. Sending this to yourself, with maybe an extra visual or feeling. It’s okay if it seems awkward at first – you’re like an actor rehearsing your lines. It gets easier with time. May I be well. Eventually your focus will be less on the words and more on the intention behind them, which gets stronger and clearer and more obviously common sense.

There’s one more thing you can do: if some specific part of your body actually hurts, then imagine sending your caring intention directly into that part, opening the channel, sending in healing vibes. May I be well. You are practising giving a shit about all parts of yourself. And then feeling what you feel. Feeling and fellow-feeling: May I be well. May all of us be well.

A good way to finish this meditation is to expand the circle of compassion out: to imagine others in your life, others like you, people doing the best they can. Connect to your intention for them to also be well. May you be well. Find a phrase that works for you, and silently repeat it if you like, maybe visualising faces near and far. May you be well.

Think of it as a final act of generosity, sending out your intention and your care and the benefits of the practice to others. Maybe there’s some gratitude there. May you be well. It’s basically the best training programme a human being can enrol in, ever. It’s worth the effort. Finish up by feeling the breath and the body. Solid in your posture, supported by the ground, chilling on your stoop like a little Buddha. A final couple of breaths into the chest, feeling that area fill with air and warmth. When you’re ready, open your eyes. Yes, you just did that. You are now a beautiful marshmallow of compassion.

Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics by Dan Harris, £14.99, is published by Yellow Kite.

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When it comes to hair trends, we've been spoilt for choice this summer.

Strandlighting was the first on our radar and the secret of the ultra clever technique is in the name: dyeing just a pinch of hair strands instead of a whole lock of hair for a subtle, natural balayage effect. Yep, sold.

Then came super sharp blunt ends. Championed by hairstylists all over the globe, from LA to Australia, the cut moved away from the wispy, ethereal look typical of the season and radiated a sense of edgy cool instead.

But it looks like there's a newbie on the block. Enter: the razor cut.

A post shared by Erica Sofia Camacho (@ericashairaffair) on Jul 6, 2018 at 4:24pm PDT

Okay, so it's not exactly brand spanking new. In fact, you probably remember your mum dragging you to the salon back in the day to have her hair styled using the exact same technique, which takes a blunt razor to the hair instead of a sharp pair of scissors to carve out layers and give hair dimension.

But this time round, it's much less '80s mullet and a hell of a lot more chic, and if Instagram is anything to go by, the trend is once again taking the hairdressing world by storm, bringing us a hoard of seriously stylish cuts and finishes in the process.

So what does the retro technique entail and why has it come full circle?

A post shared by j.a.zimlich (@jordanaveryz) on Jul 5, 2018 at 10:06am PDT

"Razor cutting is certainly an older styling technique, but I think the look is making a comeback as the trends turn to softer, more rock’n’roll styles, inspired by the likes of Arizona Muse and Jenna Dewan," says award-winning hairstylist and colourist, Jason Collier.

"Razor cutting is all about creating a lighter texture in the hair that looks free and easy, rather than blunt or chunky," he continues. "There are no blunt edges in the hair, just soft tapering and dreamy lines. There are definite retro vibes with this look à la Jennifer Aniston and 'The Rachel' cut, but to make the look contemporary, it’s about taking inspiration from those styles and modernising them, to make sure that the finished vibe is soft, bohemian and a little bit edgy, rather than fully vintage or stuck in the past."

A post shared by Holly Seidel (@hollygirldoeshair) on Jul 10, 2018 at 12:42pm PDT

Sounds pretty great. Even better? It's perfect for those with thicker, fuller, longer hair types, which are typically a little harder to style.

"I would definitely recommend the razor cutting technique for girls with long or thick, heavy hair, to lighten it up and give it a looseness and a great sense of movement," says Jason. "The technique is quite clever because it removes bulk and provides a softness to thick hair that’s almost impossible to achieve otherwise. It's also great to use on fringes, especially if you want a softer fringe rather than a Zooey Deschanel-style blunt set of bangs. Just remember to employ the technique sparingly, to ensure that the hair still looks polished rather than straggly."

If you have thinner hair, opting for a razor cut might not be the right technique for you, though.

"I think girls with thinner hair are best sticking to traditional scissor-cut layers," advises Jason. "This is because you need to be more careful with the distribution of weight in thinner hair types. Razor cutting fine hair can make it look droopy and flat, so you’re better to opt for long layers to give weight and movement to the hair in this instance."

This is something Sam Burnett, creative director at Hare & Bone seconds. "A razor hair cut will not grow out as well as a technically approached scissor cut so those with thinner hair should not opt for this technique," he says, and if done wrong, it could result in split ends.

Got it.

A post shared by Dre Donoghue (@dre_donoghue) on Jun 19, 2018 at 7:12am PDT

Now, a lot of us are known to skip the salon entirely and attempt to cut our own hair. What can we say – salon-grade scissors are in abundance on Amazon. But Jason recommends leaving razor cutting to the professionals – and for good reason.

"I always recommend going to your hairdresser, whatever the circumstances," stresses Jason. "Razor cutting might seem like an easy technique in theory, but there’s lots of things that could go wrong. At the end of the day, you’re taking a blunt blade to the hair, and if you’re attempting to do this yourself, you could very easily hit the wrong angle or cut too high, and as we all know, you can’t stick hair back on! Put yourself in the hands of an expert for any kind of restyle, for peace of mind that the finished look will be something you’ll love."

Now if you'll excuse us, we're off to book a salon appointment...

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Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex, broke royal protocol on Tuesday evening when she implied support for the outcome of Ireland's historic abortion referendum.

This is according to Fine Gael Sen. Catherine Noone, who met Markle during a garden party at the UK ambassador’s home in Dublin. After talking with Markle, the senator wrote on Twitter that the duchess seemed to be in favour of how the historic vote will pave the way for abortion to be legal in Ireland.

"The Duchess and I had a chat about the recent referendum result — she watched with interest and was pleased to see the result," the first tweet read, according to The Irish Times. The senator followed up with a clarification on a second tweet: “I should say she seemed pleased — she was interested and very measured, not political at all.”

Both tweets were eventually deleted.

In May, nearly 70% of Irish constituents voted to repeal a constitutional clause called the Eighth Amendment, which led to the creation of one of the world's worst anti-abortion regimes by giving a foetus the same rights as a woman. The outcome was hailed across around the world as a victory for women's rights.

Una Mullally, a writer and supporter of the Repeal the 8th campaign, also attended the party and chatted with Markle about the vote. She wrote on Twitter: "Great to chat with Meghan Markle, Duchess Of Sussex, about Repeal and the importance of her feminist activism. So important to have people in her position championing women’s rights. Total sounder!"

Great to chat with Meghan Markle, Duchess Of Sussex, about Repeal and the importance of her feminist activism. So important to have people in her position championing women’s rights. Total sounder! pic.twitter.com/Vjdquo45CP

— Una Mullally (@UnaMullally) July 10, 2018

The tweets have gotten Markle in hot water, since technically as a royal she shouldn't be talking about politics. Since the 17th century, the royal family has refrained from expressing their political opinions in public even though it's not an actual law dictating they remain silent. Instead, it's a matter of making life easier for whoever is at the throne, since the monarch's constitutional role is to represent everyone in the nation.

That being said, Markle's support for reproductive rights shouldn't come as a surprise given her feminist cred. Her official royal biography highlights her "lifelong commitment" to women's rights; she's championed the need of ending the stigma around menstruation as an important component of gender equality; and her wedding vows didn't include a pledge to "obey" Prince Harry.

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Ethical fashion may be in vogue, but that doesn't mean it's always easy to find out the truth about our favourite brands. The industry is notoriously dirty and opaque when it comes to brands reporting their environmental credentials, labour conditions and use of animal products.

But thankfully an app, recently rolled out in Europe, is now making it easier for shoppers to cut through the BS and shop according to their principles. Good on You brings together publicly available data on thousands of fashion brands and rates them out of five.

The free app, which contains data for more than 2,000 brands launched here in June. It's been around for a while elsewhere (in Australia since 2015 and the US and Canada since 2017), and already claims to reach around 120,000 ethical consumers each month.

The app's rating system ranks brands for their impact on people ( workers across the supply chain), the planet (use of resources and energy, carbon emissions, impact on water and waste disposal), and animals (use of fur, angora, down feature, exotic skins, and the like), using information from the brands' own reported data, certification schemes (including Fair Trade and Global Organic Textile Standard), from investigations by NGOs such as Greenpeace.

Good On You then gives brands one of five ratings: "We Avoid," "Not Good Enough," "It’s A Start," "Good," and "Great." In addition to searching for specific brands, the app allows you to figure out the most ethical brands for specific items (from dresses and jackets to eyewear and jewellery). Users can also set their preferences to filter results by rating, refining each of the three categories – environment, animal protection, and labour rights – on a spectrum from "less important" to "very important."

Fashion brands are increasingly being held to account on ethical issues – whether it's by supporting the notion of a circular economy, banning mohair and other animal products, or donating their profits to charities and their workers – and Good On You will only improve public awareness of these issues and pile even more pressure on companies.

How ethical are our favourite brands?

Adidas (4/5, Good)

& Other Stories (3/5, It's a start)

ASOS (3/5, It's a start)

Balenciaga (3/5, It's a start)

Cos (3/5, It's a start)

Free People (2/5, Not good enough)

Gucci (3/5, It's a start)

H&M (3/5, It's a start)

Louis Vuitton (2/5, Not good enough)

Lululemon (3/5, It's a start)

Maje (1/5, We avoid)

Nike (2/5, Not good enough)

Primark (3/5, It's a start)

Stella McCartney (4/5, Good)

Topshop (3/5, It's a start)

Uniqlo (3/5, It's a start)

Urban Outfitters (2/5, Not good enough)

Whistles (2/5, Not good enough)

Zara (3/5, It's a start)

Download Good On You from the app store.

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Your twenties are supposedly the decade when you're meant to be travelling the world, making memories and having the life-changing experiences that you'll reminisce about for years to come. Our twenties are supposed to be carefree, before the "real" responsibilities – family commitments, mortgage payments and career kick in, so it seems like a good time to globe-trot.

But if you're in your 20s and thinking of taking a big trip, new research suggests you might be better off waiting another decade.

The best age to travel the world and take an adult gap year is apparently 37, according to a survey of 2,000 British people. Travel agent Florida4Less asked what age people believed they'd get the most benefit out of travelling to certain bucket list destinations and the general consensus was their late 30s.

It suggests that travelling and seeing the world when you’re a little more established is more valuable and fulfilling, contrary to the popular concept of taking a gap year before university or in your 20s.

The destinations included were: Rome (Italy), Queenstown (New Zealand), Edinburgh (Scotland), Dublin (Ireland), Venice (Italy), New York (USA), London (England), Budapest (Hungary), Tokyo (Japan), Paris (France), Barcelona (Spain), Amsterdam (the Netherlands), Berlin (Germany), Mexico City (Mexico), Santorini (Greece), Las Vegas (USA), Sydney (Australia), Bangkok (Thailand), Prague (Czech Republic) and Florida (USA).

The top destinations to visit in your 30s? Amsterdam, Barcelona, New York, Berlin and Florida. According to those surveyed, you're most likely to appreciate Amsterdam's culture and art (the Anne Frank House and galleries such as Rijksmuseum, Van Gogh Museum and Stedelijk Museum) when you're in your early thirties.

Barcelona, meanwhile, was perceived to be best suited to those in their mid-thirties because of its mix of culture, stunning architecture (especially La Sagrada Familia) and food.

People thought New York would be best around 36 with its culture and iconic sights (the Brooklyn Bridge, Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building and Central Park) proving to be the biggest draws. While Berlin is also best at around the same age and is best loved for its culture, history, street food and flea markets.

According to travel industry insiders, many people in their 20s are taking the opposite tack and travelling more than they otherwise would because they think they have no chance of being able to save for a property anyway and YOLO. But if you're not among them and are feeling the pressure to abandon your 9-to-5 and hop on a plane, don't stress, you might enjoy it even more in a decade's time.

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We're told that home is where the heart is, but when we have jobs, hobbies, social schedules, and any number of other commitments to attend to, it's easy to let our houses or apartments turn into mere holding areas for our stuff. We all want to feel at home in our living space, but that's easier said than done.

Intuitive counsellor and author Tess Whitehurst tells us that performing a simple ritual, in which you cleanse and bless your house, can be just the thing that helps you reclaim your space. And the first step of that ritual is to reacquaint yourself with the purpose your house serves. "Acknowledge your space as sacred," she says. "That changes the way that you interact with it and think about it."

Even if you don't spend a ton of time at home, it still functions as your base, your comfort zone. If you view it in this light, you may feel compelled to care for it in the same way you care for yourself. That means performing important spiritual upkeep on it from time to time. Negative thoughts and bad memories are like dust, Whitehurst explains — they can accumulate in nooks, crannies, and dark corners if you let them. If your house really is a sacred space, you probably want to keep that stuff from building up too much.

So, if you've recently moved somewhere new or haven't shown your home much love of late, it's probably due for a little clearing out. Ahead, Whitehurst walks us through a simple home cleansing and blessing ritual and shows us how to make it part of our regular housekeeping routine.

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