Ice cream delivery? (Yes, it's a thing!) With ultra-domestic, food-fixated Cancer ruling the skies until July 22, it could take something extra to motivate ourselves out of the house. Like, say, an amazing meal that's worthy of a worshipful, Chrissy Teigen style, selfie — or a run to the supermarket to pick up ingredients for one of her Cravings recipes. Throw a dinner party and keep the guest list "inner circle only." This astrological season is all about intimate bonding. Cancer is a water sign, making the aquatic life another lure from that comfy perch right by your summer fan. Spring for a pool pass or turn weekend beach trips in a squad ritual. But keep an "emergency floatation device" handy. With scrappy Mars on tour with the sun, the waves could get very choppy on the emotion ocean. Honour feelings, but try not to confuse them with facts. And know that everyone's just going to be super sensitive until the 22nd, sorry.

Cancer is the sign of the alpha female — and, not coincidentally, the sign of feminist luminaries like Princess Diana and Solange Knowles, too. Summon your inner Wonder Woman and take a stand for equal rights, especially near the mission-oriented Capricorn full moon on July 9.

Leo steals the sunbeamed crown on July 22 as the sun sails into this regal sign for a month, accompanied by passionate Mars. (Bow down!) The world will feel like one giant catwalk during this flamboyant cycle. Or, maybe a talent show. Whatever the case, wear your fierce on your sleeve. If summer lovin' got off to a slow start, fear not. Leo season lights a blazing bonfire on Cupid's behalf. And with Venus in flirty Gemini starting on the fourth, romantic fireworks could erupt into a full-on lovefest in the month's final third. And watch what embers get stoked near the July 23 new moon in Leo. This is the first in a rare, back-to-back pair. The second is a potent solar (new moon) eclipse in Leo on August 21. There's no better time to ignite a creative project, revamp your style, audition for a role, or pursue your heart's desire — whether that's a person, place, or thing!

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Natalie Hage is a gorgeous model and admin of the groundbreaking Instagram channel effyourbeautystandards. Recently, she was flown out for a photo shoot on American Airlines, where she had to deal with a seriously awful seatmate who body-shamed her, and her takedown of his behaviour is the stuff of legends.

The man sitting next to her was texting an unknown recipient before takeoff. Natalie could see the text messages (looking at her Instagram post below, this guy wasn't exactly subtle) where he was insulting her body. After the plane lands, she decides to confront him and films the experience. "I couldn't help but notice before we took off you were sending really horrible text messages about me," she says. After initially getting defensive and saying, "I'm sorry, I was drinking," he immediately apologises. Honestly, though, it sounds like the kind of apology meant to shut down the confrontation. There was no honest self-reflection or empathy.

A post shared by natalie. (@nataliemeansnice) on Apr 20, 2017 at 2:55pm PDT

The man then condescends to her further by implying that her body should prevent her from sitting in the exit row. "When they ask if you're willing and capable to assist people in getting off the airplane in an emergency, do you honestly think you are?" he asks her.

Natalie, exhibiting a remarkable display of composure, tells him that she works out five times per week and that he knows nothing about her body. "My body is none of your business," she says, and "don't ever treat anyone like that again." With that, she gets up to walk off the plane, where he has the gall to ask her out to dinner. Truly the absolute worst.

Let's note that his flimsy excuse isn't really an excuse for his behaviour at all. Plenty of people imbibe at the airport bars before a flight and manage to not body-shame other passengers. And yes, flying sucks for all of us, but that is also still not an excuse to humiliate another human being. Natalie held her poise in this appalling situation, but we look forward to a day where she wouldn't have to deal with this in the first place.

i'm shaking right now. i'm on a flight to LA right now on @americanair. i paid almost $70 extra for this seat i'm in because i know i need a little extra leg room. i'm extremely flight anxious but there were only middle seats available so i had to take what i could get. as soon as i sat down, the gentleman on my left began LOUDLY huffing, sighing, and readjusting himself in his seat. i see him furiously texting and then purposefully turning the phone away from me. so, naturally next time he texts, i take a look. the texts were about me and i'm almost positive he took photos of me. not only were the texts about me, but they were really mean and ugly, with even the recipient named 'linda' chiming back with shaming retorts...someone who can't even see the situation. if you can't read the texts, it says 'hopefully she didn't have any mexican food' and his response is 'i think she ate a mexican'. then he proceeds to say he's leaving a 'neck mark on the window' because he's so smashed against the wall. from the photos, you can see i'm not in his space. he's even taken over both arm rests on purpose, coming to my space and digging his elbows into my side...which is in my seat. his next text to her was 'if the news reports a DFW airbus a321 leaving the runway without rotating, that would be my flight.' another i see later? 'if these seats don't hold, it's not going to matter.' and that's just a few of them. there were several more. i didn't do anything to him. i'm in my seat, completely (see photos). i am crumpled into a ball trying to not bother. i'm just so upset. i asked the other man to my right if he'd switch me and told him what the man was saying about me and he said laughed and refused. that's fine, it's not his issue. this is a fat person's daily reality and not just on a plane. this is on a bus, standing in line at the grocery store, at a concert, on the internet. you can be completely in your own space, not bothering anyone, and people will still fuck with you and try to hurt you. all you can do is know you haven't done anything wrong just by existing and to move on. this just makes me a mixture of enraged and super sad.

A post shared by natalie. (@nataliemeansnice) on Jun 29, 2017 at 9:55am PDT

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Today I changed my Facebook profile picture to a recent photo and it’s the bravest thing I’ve done all month. At the age of 33, I’m attempting to accept what I look like right now, rather than clinging on to an image taken five years ago. I feel like I’ve aged a lot in the last year and lately my own reflection causes me to recoil in shock. I no longer look in real life how I look inside my head. Apparently there’s a name for this: ‘midlife mirror angst’. Catchy.

In the reflection that greets me, my teeth appear smaller, my nose more gnarled like an arthritic knuckle and my eyes lack sparkle, perhaps because they’re now so far back in my head that any sparkle gets lost finding its way out. The corners of my mouth, stained from years of hormone spots, drag my neutral face into one of misery. Logically I know that no one else is monitoring these changes, definitely not on the minute level of detail I am. I also know no one else would describe me this way, but all the good bits – the bits people might say I’m lucky to have – don’t register. Something happened when I hit 33; my brain disowned my face.

I am tired of going through the same motions of shock and disappointment every morning as I stare into the small square mirror of my bronzer. I spend so much mental energy thinking about my ageing face that I’ve decided to deal with it. It would be too sad to go through life not enjoying the body I live in. The decision to start with my attitude rather than with my actual face is easy. Mainly because I have an image of me as an old lady and in it I’m wafting around some kind of artist studio dressed in layers of floaty muslin, just generally being very chilled and complete with who I am. Botox, fillers and anxiety don’t fit that fantasy. I believe I’ll be ok with being 'old old'. I’ve just got to be ok with getting there.

I should add a caveat that I have no issues with Botox, plastic surgery or women with the fine motor skills to perfect sculpting makeup and cat eyeliner. If there’s something that will physically make me look better, bring it on. But like hunting for a boyfriend because you hate being single, I know arriving at Botox from a place of desperation is a silly move – I will expect far too much from it. Also I’ve always loved dressing up, dyeing my hair and doing my makeup. I want that process to continue to be fun; like double art on a Friday rather than painting a scuffed wall to get your housing deposit back.

"You need to mourn the loss." I’m talking to psychologist and psychotherapist Dr. Jay Watts, whose work looks at how our identities shape our mental health. No one has ever taken my moans seriously before. The rules of friendship have programmed friends to respond with "Nooooo, you’re still hot". I’m not allowed to openly admit to any disappointment over my ageing face, let alone grieve the younger one. "It is a loss and you are allowed to treat it as one." These words give me the confidence to actually state what I have lost. Obviously I no longer have bouncy cheeks and skin that can hide a hangover, but how does this actually affect my life? Well, I am no longer appreciated just for existing. I can’t help feel a loss when I walk into a packed room and... nothing. No one looks up, no one’s gaze follows me across the room. The reaction I create is, well, ambivalence.

I hate to say it, but this feminist misses the validation of a building site. Gosh, I secretly loved those unsolicited, massively sexist catcalls. They made me feel alive. All I had to do for attention back then was to grow my hair long and be, well, 22.

“It would be horrid and bitter to resent the young ones for being looked at like that” my brilliant friend Keren tells me off. “You had it once, and now they have it, and that’s ok.” I’m chatting to her on the advice of Dr. Jay, who says talking to friends and admitting your feelings can be very freeing. “You probably won’t agree with their critique of themselves and it might make you realise that you’re being unfair on yourself.” I admit to Keren I’m sad because I no longer feel – dare I say it – sexy. We reminisce about what we once had and how we used to be received when we walked into a room full of people. Acknowledging the loss out loud is healing; who knew I needed this kind of closure with my younger face?

It doesn’t help that my boyfriend and I are definitely going a bit Richard and Judy. He still gets free coffees in Pret and eyed up by 20-year-old surfers. What Susan Sontag said 40 years ago still stands: “It is the social convention that ageing enhances a man but progressively destroys a woman.” Stepping out into a world which still finds my sexual partner hot while I disappear next to him is hard – no wonder my brain doesn’t want to accept my new face. As Sontag continues: “For most women, ageing means a humiliating process of gradual sexual disqualification.” I admit, I’m scared that people will look at me and my boyfriend as we get older and think, ‘Why is he still with her?’

In the book How to Age, Anne Karpf also talks about mourning: “Although it might seem paradoxical, mourning is an essential part of ageing with gusto, because it helps say goodbye to some features of life freeing you to welcome in new ones.” I think about everything I am now that I wasn’t three years ago, the age I felt I ‘lost it’. With every enlarged pore that appears I am more empathetic than ever, I feel wiser and, wonderfully, age has made me more selfish, in that I now do more of what I enjoy. I’m definitely a more interesting dinner party guest, too. Acknowledging that the young are beguiling and mesmerising because they can’t help but be, helps me. It is not my role to be young and beautiful (unless you’re 55 and looking at me, soz), and accepting that takes the pressure off. Wouldn’t everyone, myself included, benefit if I invested my mental energy in being an awesome girlfriend and a fun friend rather than fretting about no longer being sexy? Even I can see that my friends who accept their age are having far more fun than those sporting Invisaligns at 38.

Dr. Jay also advises spending time in more diverse groups and suggests visiting my local lido. I start to realise how young the places I hang out in are. In all the offices I’ve worked in, women over 40 are suspiciously absent. Perhaps that’s part of what’s causing me such distress – I’m getting nearer to the age women disappear, at least from the world I inhabit. No wonder I’m shocked when I look in the mirror – I’m one of the oldest people I see every day. Dr. Jay asks that in the lido I take time to look at the different bodies with a unifying eye – appreciation not critique. I’d be so sad to hear that any of these women are shocked and disappointed when they look in the mirror and I swear to put on my own appreciation goggles next time I pull out my compact.

I think about what I’d tell my 23-year-old self, because it’s not as if she didn’t fret about her looks: "Enjoy those accidental abs, you don’t need foundation yet, put the Wonderbra away – small boobs are great."

Fuck, it sinks in; I could go through my whole life only appreciating what I had 10 years too late. How sad would that be? That’s what leads me to change my profile picture to one taken last week. A small step I know, but one that moves me closer to being present in my body and face today. After all, it’s only going to be 33 once.

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The CEO of Boxed is not kidding around when it comes to job perks for enticing candidates and retaining good employees. Chieh Huang pays for weddings for employees and university tuition for his employee's children. According to CNBC and an astounded Matt Lauer at the Today Show, full-time employees can get up to $20,000 (£11,000) for use towards a wedding. The university tuition amounts weren't disclosed.

When we say that the CEO pays, we're not kidding. That's not just a polite euphemism covering a corporate expense that Huang takes credit for. It works like this: Huang donates part of his salary as CEO and Founder to a nonprofit foundation that then gives the money to the employees.

The idea behind the generous perks came to Huang when he visited employees in the Boxed warehouses. Some were struggling to make ends meets and to provide for their children's future, hence the tuition programme. The wedding idea came from talking to an employee named Marcel who was taking a second job because he was paying for his mother's health care and planning a wedding. The payments are meaningful for both Huang and the employees, as you can see in a video of the moment. When asked by NBC News, Marcel explained how important it is, "You're helping us breathe a little, looking towards the future."

Boxed has always been the sort of company that was looking towards the future. Huang left his full-time job as a lawyer to venture out on his own. He saw a void in the consumer products market and sought to fill it. He wanted to give millennials and urbanites an online experience similar to the big box, warehouse store shopping trips he took when he was a kid. Huang says the company is "great for millennials who don’t always have the time or the means to go to the store," according to the company website.

While the wedding and tuition perks are outstanding, Huang didn't start Boxed as a charity. "When we started this business, I wanted to sell bulk goods to people all around the country," he told CNBC. "Social change through toilet paper was not on the agenda."

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The Trump administration has announced the addition of Bethany Kozma to the Office of Gender Equality and Women's Empowerment in the US Agency for International Development, Buzzfeed reports. Kozma's official title is Senior Adviser for Women's Empowerment. However, Kozma, who was a White House staffer under President George W. Bush, was an outspoken opponent of President Obama's position that students should be able to use the bathrooms and changing rooms that match their gender identity.

That sends another signal that the Trump administration doesn't intend to protect the rights of the trans community.

In posts on the Daily Signal, a website run by a conservative think tank, Kozma outlined her opposition to allowing trans students the ability to use the bathrooms that aligned with their gender. "To put it simply, a boy claiming gender confusion must now be allowed in the same shower, bathroom, or locker room with my daughter under [then President Obama's] transgender policies," she wrote. "When I learned that predators could abuse these new policies to hurt children in school lockers, shelters, pool showers, or other vulnerable public places like remote bathrooms in national parks, I realised I had to do something."

She continued, "I instinctively knew that I needed to speak up to protect those who cannot speak for themselves: our children." Kozma did not mention who would offer protection to the trans children harmed by cissexist bathroom mandates; nor did she mention that trans children (and trans people, generally) are actually more likely to be the victims of violence in public restrooms than perpetrators of it.

Austin Ruse of the Centre for Family and Human Rights, which opposes promoting LGBT and abortion rights in foreign policy, told BuzzFeed News, "Bethany Kozma is a lovely, sweet woman who just happens to believe that girls with penises just ought not to be showering next to girls without penises."

USAID backs programs in other countries with the explicit goal of supporting LGBTQ equality. According to BuzzFeed News, the agency adopted policies in 2016 that prohibit contractors from discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity in providing services.

After President Donald Trump withdrew the Obama administration's guidance in February, Kozma wrote, "With Trump, we now have a president who is focused on remedying the lawlessness of the prior administration," saying that "as a woman and a mother," she was "thrilled that the Trump administration has rescinded [the Obama administration's bathroom policy]."

Kozma's title may be "senior advisor for women's empowerment," but it's clear from her words that her mission will not include trans women, and will likely even come at their expense.

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A lot of rumours were confirmed with the release of Jay-Z's new album, 4:44. He addresses the cheating allegations made on Beyoncé's latest album Lemonade, her miscarriage, and the ups and downs of parenthood. His 13th studio album is full of confessions and honesty. In an interview with No I.D., the album's producer had something of his own to share: Beyoncé played a huge role in shaping the album as we know it.

“I always call Bey our de facto A&R. Pillow talk is the strongest conversation on the planet,” he shared in his interview with the New York Times. “Every song has to get past her ears, in my eyes. She came by a lot and played a good part in helping us get over hurdles on certain records. Of course she’s genius-level with that.”

So not only did Beyoncé inspire much of the lyrical content on her husband's album, but she also played the role of collaborator helping shape the final album.

It was inevitable that Lemonade would be mentioned with the release of 4:44. With the release of Beyoncé's album last year came the speculations about what happened. Without it being a direct response, the Brooklyn-born rapper addresses a lot about himself and the circumstances surrounding his wife's lyrics.

"No, we never directly spoke about that album. Mainly because if he talks about himself, it’s going to bleed into that regardless," No I.D. explained to the Times. "But there’s a difference in talking about it for the sake of response and for the sake of honesty and the truth. The truth needs to explain why you are the way you are, why you did what you did. We know what happened. We got it. But what were the circumstances that led to this and how do you feel about it?"

In an interview with Rolling Stone, the tenured producer spoke about how he first started working with Jay-Z on the album. "A lot of it was talking early on at his house. We created some music at his house. After a while, I think B[eyoncé] wanted to use the room they use as a studio so that led to him coming by my place. But at this point, we had discussed no business. We were just creating music."

So, was Jay recording this album while Beyoncé was working on Lemonade? Or perhaps he is referring to new music? We have some questions about the timeline now.

No I.D. also delved into how he encouraged Jay-Z to get personal on his record. "I helped push him by saying, 'Hey, this is what you said, this is what we know. And I don't think people need to hear it. I think people need to hear what they don't know.'"

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Sea salt spray isn't the only way to get beachy hair. It's perfect for making your hair look gently tousled as if you spent the day by the sea, but what if you wanted your hair to resemble the waves themselves? Enter Ocean blue hair, which is the latest trend to sweep Instagram. Before you write it off out of worry of looking like a Smurf, you should know there is a lot more going into this look than simply having blue hair.

Like the ocean itself, ocean hair is multidimensional. California-based hair stylist, Brittany Holland, explained her technique to Allure saying the goal was to "create depth and movement that mimics the ocean," through the use of blues, teals, turquoise, and even some green to achieve this summery look.

Lost at sea 🌊 Lightened and painted using @pulpriothair

A post shared by Brittany Holland (@cozmic.color) on Jun 28, 2017 at 8:14pm PDT

Her love of the ocean is what sparked their creativity to experiment with this trend. "My client and I both share a love for ocean and the beach so I wanted to create something she would enjoy and she could almost get lost in while stuck in our desert town," Holland added in the same interview.

#tbt to some of the best ocean hair. #americansalon #modernsalon #salonaqua #savannahga #savannahhair #safeinmychair #savannahstylist #savannahhairstylist #savannah #bluehair #mermaidhair #rainbowhair #oceanhair #tealhair #pulpriothair #riotsquad #asianhair #dyeddollies #hotonbeauty #hairstylist #hairporn #fckinghair

A post shared by 🎀Jessica Bassett🦄 (@jessidreamsincolour) on Jun 15, 2017 at 3:26pm PDT

Shine bright like a diamond 💎Created by my homie @mindiraek and myself in our Free Flow class. We used our favorite products from @trionicshaircare, @olaplex, @malibucpro (Olabuonics) and @joicointensity colors.

A post shared by Kansas City✂️ Hair Artist 🔮 (@saraihairwizard) on Jun 24, 2017 at 9:56am PDT

Want to try this look for yourself? Hairstylist, Kasey O'Hara from Rockville, Maryland created an ocean hair look all her own using the brand Pulp Riot. Specifically, she said she used Nightfall (royal blue), Sea Glass (mint green), Aquatic (teal), and Powder (sky blue) to achieve the layered look.

Ride the wave🌊🐬 custom mixed 3 different @pulpriothair shades including our new neon electric blue NIRVANA💙 braid by @shmeggsandbaconn #pulpriothair #brazilianbondbuilder #b3 #behindthechair #americansalon #modernsalon

A post shared by Rockville, MD (@hairbykaseyoh) on Jun 9, 2017 at 12:41pm PDT

If you're still not sure if you can pull off the beachy look for yourself, O'Hara, who also spoke with Allure, said, "It's a great tone for any skin tone." She recommended asking your stylist to use multidimensional blues and to always bring photo references. Whatever blue suits you! O'Hara added that they don't even have to be just pictures of hair saying that she's had clients bring her photos of fish, crystals and even denim swatches.

Unlike pastels which tend to fade quickly, ocean-hued hair lasts a bit longer between dye jobs which means you can enjoy this look all summer!

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The Supreme Court approved Trump's travel ban, preventing visitors from Iran, Libya, Somalia, Sudan, Syria, and Yemen from entering the country, and now it appears a bright young group of girls from Afghanistan are facing a ban by the US government aimed at them.

Forbes reports that the Afghan all-girl robotics team was denied a one-week travel visa to participate in an international competition scheduled for mid-July in Washington, DC. The team risked their lives to travel to the nation's capital of Kabul — which is 500 miles away and where multiple suicide bombings occurred in the last few months — from their small town of Herat. The group even tried a second time hoping that US officials would change their mind and grant them proper documentation, but they were turned away both times.

Roya Mahboob, Afghanistan's first female tech CEO who brought the girls together, told the site "they were crying all day." While the exact reason for the visa denial remains confidential, Forbes further reports that according to the State Department records, only 32 B1/B2 business travel visas were granted in April 2017. That's a number that pales in comparison to nearby countries like Pakistan and Iraq, where thousands of visas were issued.

Instead of withdrawing from the competition, the group of six girls didn't give up. Their supplies cleared customs, after being held up for months, and they were able to finish their contraption. FIRST Global President and former Congressman Joe Sestak confirmed that the "extraordinarily brave young women" will at least be able to video conference into the competition from their hometown miles and miles away.

Fortunately, teams from Iraq, Iran and Sudan all obtained their visas. At this point, only the contestants from Afghanistan and Gambia were denied visas.

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Gregory Crewdson's father was a psychoanalyst. As a child, when he should have been in bed, Crewdson would creep through his parents' grand Brooklyn brownstone, hovering on the landing above his father’s study. There he would eavesdrop on his father’s sessions with his clients, overhearing snatches of conversations about a grown-up's most intimate fears and insecurities.

It’s a good way of understanding Crewdson, now 53 and a grown artist who sells his photographs for $140,000 a go. And it might in particular help us understand his most recent series, Cathedral of the Pines, on show now at London’s Photographers’ Gallery – the only time the gallery has dedicated its entire space to one artist.

Throughout his career, women have been a focus for Crewdson. “They’ve always tended to be the protagonists in my pictures. I can’t tell you exactly why,” he says when we meet at the gallery. “I tend to respond to them more, so the males tend to be more passive, reclining, like backdrops. I can identify more with women.”

But Crewdson is willing to go further. Many of the women in this series aren’t what you might term classically beautiful – at least, not in the way American movies and adverts typically understand it. The women here are older, more careworn; weight and gravity have had their way. “I respond to women who are slightly older and give off this sense of regret, who are haunted in some way,” he says. “That’s my type. There’s something beautiful in women like that. They just seem so overwhelmingly adventurous.”

Crewdson has always been a very 'New York' photographer, yet his work is often talked of as a slanted look at the darker edges of American urban life. He’s mentioned David Lynch’s 1986 neo-noir Blue Velvet, as well as the fiction writer Raymond Carver, as influences. In doing so, he seems happy to locate his female protagonists in that very American heritage of revealing the disturbing things that happen in our most private lives, when the curtains are drawn, beyond the white picket fence and perfectly tended lawn.

Here, Crewdson’s women are saying something else. And that change seems to have been inspired by changes in his own life.

When he was small, his father would take Crewdson out of Brooklyn to spend time in a cabin on the outskirts of Becket, a small rural town in the Berkshires, Massachusetts, surrounded by great mountainous pine forests.

One summer in 1996, when he was undergoing “a tough time”, Crewdson spent an entire summer there. In the evening, he would get out his camera and photograph the fireflies as they danced in the fading light. It was a means without an end, a therapeutic way of getting lost in the repetition of the shots.

“I thought about how I had always returned to Becket when I needed refuge,” he says. So he left Brooklyn to travel upstate and into the forests. Once there, he found, through a friend of a friend, a converted church and a ramshackle building beside it – what turned out to be the town’s old fire station. He rented the church, and started to use the fire station as his studio.

He began a ritual. He would wake up in the morning and hike up to a lake, before spending an hour swimming there alone. A few weeks in, he had a sense of “feeling a darkness lifting from me.” He decided not just to spend time in Becket when he needed a period of self-preservation, but to relocate his life there – “physically, but psychologically too”.

One day, while out walking, he came across a small trail in the woods. The trail was named Cathedral of the Pines. “As soon as I saw it, I stopped in my tracks and just stared at the name. I knew it was going to be the title of my new series.”

Something else happened during that time as well. For the past five years, Crewdson has worked closely with Juliane Hiam, at first on casting (together they've attracted professional performers like William H. Macy and Julianne Moore to appear in his photographs) but more recently as a more holistic, creative collaborator. He doesn’t specify when, but at some point the relationship became more than professional.

“The work reflected my experiences of coming out of a very tormented relationship, and starting to work very closely with, and then date, Juliane, and finding myself suddenly capable of reconnecting to who I am as an artist, and to my own sexuality as well,” he says.

Something else is at play here. Before, Crewdson would always cast actors to appear in his photographs. In this series, he used people he knew – including Juliane, her daughter Harper, and his own daughter Lily. In one photograph, the two children cut each other's hair. In others, Juliane is often caught in makeshift homes, the wilderness pressing in. She’s always in the nude, or in states of undress.

“There’s a distinction between a nude woman and a naked woman,” Crewdson says. “Nakedness is what I’m going for. I’m interested in exploring desire, yes, but I’m also interested in mortality. There isn’t a lot of eroticism in the pictures. I use the body as a way of showing a certain kind of fragility. I wanted their flesh to show vulnerability, a nakedness in these great expansive settings.”

His models are often caught in the outdoors, or situated in or near rugged, temporary little abodes – shacks or trailers or huts. “I realised I was including a lot of makeshift places of rest, shelters that suggested some possibility of home, even inadequately,” Crewdson says. “I wasn’t very conscious of it, but the inclusion of those things was reflective of where I was. I was searching for a new sense of home, and a new sense of place.”

Looking at the pictures that surround us, I suggest to Crewdson that his work might in some way be trying to make sense of someone else’s mind. My mother carried me round in her belly for nine months, I say, and I’m close to her, but oftentimes I don’t have a clue what she might say from one moment to the next. When I spend time with my girlfriend or my sister, they’re at once incredibly familiar, and complete mysteries to me as well.

“Yes,” he exclaims. “Yes! It’s that sensation of feeling connected to and completely foreign from a person, in the same moment. I still feel that toward my mother, and in some ways my daughter – that sense of them being there, right in front of you, but yet not being of this world. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fully understand that. I don’t know whether I even want to.”

Gregory Crewdson: Cathedral of the Pines is on show at The Photographers' Gallery until 8th October 2017

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From E.T. and The BFG to The Neverending Story and Babe, the history of cinema is filled with many magical tales of humans forming unlikely friendships with their fellow creatures. Now, Okja, a new Netflix-backed film from celebrated Korean director Bong Joon-ho, has arrived to offer a brilliant, 21st-century take on the theme. The film begins in the glitzy headquarters of the Mirando Corporation, a food production giant helmed by a cloyingly girlish woman named Lucy Mirando (a brace-toothed Tilda Swinton). The latest in a line of corrupt heirs to the dynasty, Mirando Jr. announces to a journalist-packed room that she has discovered a “revolution in the livestock industry”: a synthesis of science and nature dubbed the "super pig", which will prove to be the company’s most environmentally friendly endeavour yet. A number of these creatures – a sort of hippo-pig hybrid, with floppy, elephant ears – have been shipped to rural farmers around the globe in an attempt to see which form of rearing will produce the most impressive, wholesome results. The farmers’ efforts, Mirando Jr. decrees, will be documented and judged by TV zoologist Dr. Johnny (played to maniacal, strung-out perfection by Jake Gyllenhaal) and the results will be announced in 10 years' time in New York.

Fast-forward a decade and the camera pans across an entirely different scene: the lush mountains of South Korea, where a young girl named Mija (Ahn Seo-Hyun) and her super pig, Okja, frolic blissfully among the forests. Okja was presented to Mija’s grandfather, who has raised the child and the super pig side by side, never letting on to his sparky granddaughter that her beloved companion’s fate lies in the hands of the Mirando Corporation, who will shortly come to take her away. The rest of the film plays out as an absurd, action-filled comedy – punctuated by dark, Roald Dahlian overtones of animal cruelty and scientific ethics – as Mija sets out to rescue Okja from the slaughterhouse, finding friends among guerrilla activists, the Animal Liberation Front (headed by a hilariously pacifistic Paul Dano) along the way.

While the stellar cast provides a deliciously diverse array of bizarre characters, it is 13-year-old Ahn who steals the show; her face conveys myriad emotions that will melt even the coldest of hearts, while her unwavering determination will have you cheering in your seat and renouncing bacon forever. The actress has been frequenting South Korean cinema and TV screens since the age of three, but with Okja she proves herself a talent to be reckoned with on a global scale. Here, as the film arrives on Netflix, we catch up with the perceptive young star to discover more about filming with a CGI co-star and her favourite onscreen heroine.

How did you become involved with the film? What was the audition process like?

It wasn't really a typical audition process. I'd just done a TV drama at the time and I was planning to take a break from acting, as I’d been doing it for 10 years, but then me and my father found out about the open casting for Okja so we decided that we'd go and meet the famous director Bong! We sent an email and almost two months later we got a response asking us to visit his office. So we went along, and I felt that from the beginning he treated me like Mija. He talked about Okja a lot – the character, not the film. He only mentioned the film a few months later, after we'd met several times and chatted lots.

What were your first impressions when you read the script?

Director Bong gave me the script and told me to take a month to read it and decide if I wanted the part. I think he meant for me to spend the whole month reading it once, but it was so interesting that I read it 20 times! It went into such tiny details that really gave you a feeling for the characters and for his vision. The story and Mija were both so unique. I spent a lot of time thinking about her and her relationship with Okja and, once the month was up, I talked to director Bong about it and he liked my ideas and that was it!

Do you think there are similarities between you and Mija?

Yes, lots. Mija isn't your typical girly girl, and nor am I. When she sets her mind on something, she has to see it through to the end. She's not a talker, she's a doer – she has to fight for justice, and to protect what is hers. Those kind of aspects are very similar to me.

What was Bong’s directing style like?

Bong has a very detailed, very particular empathy for his actors, which allows us to express ourselves to our maximum potential. He sets a safe boundary and then allows us to be free within it, which helps immensely. It's a bit like choosing from a drinks menu: it's easier to pick something when someone suggests choosing something from the juices, rather than saying, ‘Let's pick anything from everything’.

What was it like working with CGI? How long did it take you to get used to it?

There was a stuffy [stuffed puppet] on set that was the general shape of what Okja was going to look like and inside was a performer named Steve, who was controlling it. I very quickly formed a connection with Steve – he was really nice to me and we became really close. I can't really pinpoint how long it took for it to happen but as I became Mija, Steve and the stuffy became Okja.

Which was your favourite scene to shoot?

There's a scene when Mija’s taking a nap on Okja’s belly – in the forest, in the sunshine – and that was the most memorable for me. It's very simple – we’re not talking; the action is just that we're taking a nap, and then we walk off together. When I watched it on the monitors after shooting it, I saw that our close connection was really apparent. It was a moment of enlightenment for me: realising the natural relationship between the two of us. I have a Jack Russell Terrier called Rang and I couldn't visit him during filming so I think I transferred my feelings to Okja, which showed!

Mija is a very strong character for young girls to look up to. Who is your favourite heroine on film?

I love Moana from the new Disney film. She departs for an adventure on her own and although there are hardships she encounters along the way, she battles through them and achieves her goal. She's similar to Mija in that way: they're both young female characters with great strength and determination.

Okja is on Netflix now.

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For too long now, artists who haven’t met the criteria of being pale, male and stale have been excluded from art’s history and institutions. If art takes life and presents it back to us, we must have a very limited worldview, given the conveyor belt of Matisse and Picasso, Hirst and Koons that we’re so used to seeing. Make no mistake, though – artists outside of this standardised mould have always existed and worked. Now, thankfully, the likes of gal-dem, Two Brown Girls and Variant Space are shining a light on the work of BME women artists.

A new exhibition, We Are Here: British BME Women, seeks to explore what it means to be British and BME today. Organised and curated by Erin Aniker, Joy Miessi, Ellen Morrison and Jess Nash, the group show will display works from 15 artists, showcasing their response to and interpretation of two identities that are often assumed to be mutually exclusive. The exhibition seems particularly poignant right now, given the current anti-immigration rhetoric, our decision to leave the EU, and the rise of white supremacy exacerbating divisions within the UK.

From Danika Magdelena’s candid portraits to Sofia Niazi’s intimate illustrations, the exhibition hosts some of the most exciting creative talents in London right now. Alongside the show, there will be a panel talk with the artists and a workshop inspired by Nefertiti; it’s set to be a huge success. We spoke to four of the artists about their craft, what being BME and British today means to them, and what they wish people would stop asking them. Click ahead to read their stories.

We Are Here: British BME Women
Alev Lenz Studio, 73 Kingsland Road, E2 8AG
Private view: 6th July 2017
Exhibition continues: 7th-9th July 2017

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Last summer, Victoria Beckham came under fire for kissing her 5-year-old daughter, Harper, on the lips. Critics and so-called etiquette experts deemed the innocent display of parental love "horrible" and "disgusting", with some desperate trolls even calling it “paedophilia” and labelling the pair – mother and daughter, remember – “lesbians”.

Unfortunately, this tired old row about parental boundaries and kissing your kids on the lips has erupted again, almost a year later – and David Beckham isn't having any of it.

The former England captain and father of four faced a backlash of his own recently after he posted a picture of himself kissing Harper on the lips during a family holiday to Africa. He shared the tender photo on Instagram alongside the caption: "Kiss for Daddy ❤️".

Predictably, some commenters wanted Beckham to know they believed it was "inappropriate" and "not a good look". “On the lips??? what has the world come to,” someone else asked.

Kiss for Daddy ❤️

A post shared by David Beckham (@davidbeckham) on Jun 1, 2017 at 10:55am PDT

But the 42-year-old has addressed the criticism head-on in a Facebook Live on his official page. Shortly after describing having children as "the most special thing in the world", Beckham revealed he's very affectionate with all of his children and kisses them every day.

“I got actually criticised for kissing my daughter on the lips the other day. I kiss all my kids on the lips," he said. “Brooklyn, maybe not. Brooklyn’s 18, he might find that a little bit strange. But I’m very affectionate with the kids. It’s how I was brought up and Victoria, and it’s how we are with our children.

“We want to show our kids love and we protect them, look after them, and support them, and we’re very affectionate with them.”

The best daddy in the world!!! We all love u so,so much 💕💕💕 X kisses from us all x 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

A post shared by Victoria Beckham (@victoriabeckham) on Jun 18, 2017 at 6:42am PDT

The footballing legend also said that if he's away from home he FaceTimes each of them every day "without a doubt" before they go to sleep and before they go to school – regardless of where he is in the world. "Hopefully they're all in the same room, which helps," he added. Parenting goals.

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Young girls are increasingly seeking surgery on their vaginas – known as labiaplasty – because of concerns over how they look. In some cases, girls as young as nine are asking for the operation despite having no medical need for it.

The NHS says labiaplasty, which involves shortening or reshaping the lips of the vagina, shouldn’t be carried out on girls under 18. But more than 200 such girls had the surgery in 2015-16, with more than 150 of those under 15, according to NHS figures.

Dr. Naomi Crouch, chair of the British Society for Paediatric and Adolescent Gynaecology, said that while GPs are referring increasing numbers of young girls for the operation, she has never come across a girl who needed it for medical reasons.

"Girls will sometimes come out with comments like, 'I just hate it, I just want it removed,' and for a girl to feel that way about any part of her body – especially a part that's intimate – is very upsetting," she told the BBC’s Victoria Derbyshire show.

Pre-teen girls seek cosmetic surgery on genitals - my report for @VictoriaLIVE. 👀film here:https://t.co/uv4XS2M46Gpic.twitter.com/dmJGL9We3K

— Jean Mackenzie (@jeanmackenzie) July 3, 2017

Paquita de Zulueta, a GP with more than 30 years’ experience, also said she’d noticed a rise in girls being distressed by the appearance of their labia in the last few years, and blamed pornography and social media for peddling unrealistic images of female bodies. A survey of GPs published last year in BMJ Open also found that more young girls were inquiring about the procedure.

"I'm seeing young girls around 11, 12, 13 thinking there's something wrong with their vulva – that they're the wrong shape, the wrong size, and really expressing almost disgust,” Dr. De Zulueta told the BBC. "Their perception is that the inner lips should be invisible, almost like a Barbie, but the reality is that there is a huge variation. It's very normal for the lips to protrude."

One girl in her 20s, given the pseudonym Anna, told the BBC she considered having the surgery when she was 14 but later changed her mind – and was glad she did because she now realises she looks "totally normal".

"I just picked up from somewhere that it wasn't neat enough or tidy enough and I think I wanted it to be smaller. People around me were watching porn and I just had this idea that it should be symmetrical and not sticking out," she said.

"I thought that was what everyone else looked like, because I hadn't seen any normal everyday [images] before then. I remember thinking, 'If there's surgery for it, then clearly I'm not the only one who wants this done, and maybe it won't be that big a deal'."

More needs to be done to educate girls from a young age that "just as we all look different in our faces – we all look different down there, and that's OK," Dr. De Zulueta added.

NHS England says it only carries out the procedure for clinical conditions – not cosmetic reasons which, Dr. De Zulueta said, leads girls to exaggerate their physical symptoms to get surgery. "There is awareness that they're more likely to get the operation if they say it's interfering with sex, with sport, they feel that will tick that box," she said.

Dr. Crouch said she found it difficult to believe that "there are 150 girls with a medical abnormality which means they needed an operation on their labia," adding that labiaplasty should only be carried out in those circumstances.

She compared the procedure to female genital mutilation (FGM), which is illegal in the UK. "The law says we shouldn't perform these operations on developing bodies for cultural reasons. Current Western culture is to have very small lips, tucked inside. I see this as the same thing."

In the UK, most labiaplasties are carried out on women over 18 by private cosmetic surgeons for between £1,000-£3,000 (not including the cost of consultations or follow-up care).

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Donald Trump could make a snap visit to the UK in the next two weeks, despite his formal state visit having been postponed last month due to fears it would be disrupted by large-scale protests.

The US president is making a trip to Europe next week to attend the G20 summit in Hamburg next weekend and Bastille Day celebrations in France on 14th July, and the UK government has been warned that he may visit Turnberry, his golf resort in Scotland, during his visit, The Guardian reported. He would also be expected to meet Prime Minister Theresa May for ‘informal talks’ in Downing Street.

Trump still seems keen to dodge protests, though, as final confirmation of his visit could be given with as little as 24 hours’ notice, to minimise the risk of mass demonstrations.

Back in February, anti-Trump protesters including the Stop Trump coalition vowed to hold the largest ever protests in UK history if the president makes a state visit to the country. Now, many have already said they’re prepared to drop everything and mobilise against a snap visit.

Guardian columnist and Stop Trump protestor Owen Jones tweeted on Sunday urging people to retweet him if they were “willing to commit to protesting this bigot at short notice”. The tweet has garnered close to 14,000 retweets and more than 17,000 likes at the time of writing.

Donald Trump is planning to sneak into Britain to avoid protests. RT if you're willing to commit to protesting this bigot at short notice ✊

— Owen Jones (@OwenJones84) July 2, 2017

Many more people reacted similarly on social media, pledging to take to the streets against Trump.

fully prepared to call off work in order to go and protest at donald trump's surprise arrival to the uk

— alicia (@aIicianorman) July 2, 2017

So #DonaldTrump could be popping by but won't give an exact date for fear of protests. Do we want him here? No! Will we protest? Yes!

— MAD DAD! (@thartsalot) July 2, 2017

I will drop anything and everything to protest any UK visit Trump makes. Let's all do so. https://t.co/lWOUr8noSq

— The Dark Knight (@CityJohn) July 2, 2017

Nope.
There will be civil disobedience. There will be protest.
We will not accept him.https://t.co/6aVQbWl4A5

— T Davies-Barnard (@TDaviesBarnard) July 3, 2017

If Trump thinks coming impromptu means we won't protest, he's deluded. We're ready 👊🏽 Trump's not welcome. #NoTrumphttps://t.co/gNxdL1ZecK

— Stand UpToTrump (@StandUp2TrumpUK) July 2, 2017

Charities and other campaign groups also said they hope Trump stays far away from UK soil. "Any attempt to sneak him into the country and offer Trump a veneer of respectability for his divisive and reactionary policies will be utterly rejected," the charity War on Want told the Daily Mail, adding that his “bigotry and hatred… [are] not welcome here".

Shaista Aziz, founder of The Everyday Bigotry Project, said Trump "is not fit to hold the office of the US presidency and he's absolutely not welcome in the UK – through the back door or on an official state visit."

A spokesperson for the anti-racism group Hope Not Hate called Trump "one of the most divisive Presidents in living memory", citing his travel ban on Muslims, his constant attacking of the media, and his views on women, migrants and other vulnerable communities, as reasons why he shouldn't visit the UK.

"He has proven himself an unwelcome friend to the UK and we hope he stays far from our shores," they told The Independent.

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In May, Maria Grazia Chiuri took us into the wild for the Dior Cruise show, held on the open plains of the Calabasas hills in LA. The nature theme continued for this afternoon's couture show, set in a jungle in the gardens of the Musée des Invalides, designed by Italian artist Pietro Ruffo. Wooden sculptures of a lion, crocodiles, tortoise, giraffe, rhino – even a bird of prey suspended above the catwalk – were dotted around the tall grass and shrubbery in the star-shaped amphitheatre, transporting the audience (including Natalie Portman, Robert Pattinson, Celine Dion, Elizabeth Olsen and Jennifer Lawrence) around the globe, from the African savannahs to the depths of the Asian jungle.

But despite the exotic set and warm Paris weather, this couture collection (Chiuri's second since joining the house last summer) was surprisingly muted, with a focus on tailoring and masculine fabrics and colours. Dior regular, Brit model Ruth Bell, with a crop of newly bleached blonde hair, opened the show, wearing a belted grey jacket and ankle-length skirt with thick-soled lace-up shoes. This was followed by a series of looks that you might not expect from couture week – and certainly worlds away from the frothy, feminine fairytale gowns of Dior's last couture show in January. Though there were some satin gowns and stunning corset dresses, the opening passage was mostly made up of wrap jackets and wide-leg trousers, structured tailoring and even a shearling-lined, Aviator-esque leather flight suit that Amelia Earhart would be proud of. This was the luxury wardrobe of the glamorous globetrotter, featuring patchwork coats, elegant capes and even jackets adorned with maps, representing Christian Dior's love of travel and a yearning for discovery; discovering the world and oneself, emotion and growth.

The palette of grey and black transitioned into red and closed with earthy tones of brown, nudes and blush, as tulle, tiered skirts were unveiled alongside cinched velvet floor-length dresses and sumptuous gowns detailed with intricate floral embroidery. For the critics who have condemned Chiuri for her sporty, more casual and contemporary take on Dior womenswear, the second half of the show certainly offered the more conventional couture creations. As Dior celebrates its 70th anniversary, this collection – an ode to travel, mapping five continents – retraced the house's impressive expansion around the world.

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Since Game of Thrones hit television screens, fan theories have been swirled around nearly every character. One of the most popular ones, surrounding the parentage of Jon Snow, seemed to get some clarification at the end of season 6, but Time reports that during a panel discussion at Con of Thrones, the show's famed dragons could be one way to delve deeper into Snow's lineage.

Because there's no Westerosi equivalent of Maury Povich or DNA saliva tests, fans at the panel proposed a more dragon-based genetics analysis.

After Bran Stark entered a flashback and witnessed Snow's birth at the Tower of Joy, it seemed like the show was confirming the popular R+J theory, which posits that "Jon is not the illegitimate child of Ned Stark but rather the son of his sister Lyanna and Rhaegar Targaryen," according to Time. But because Bran's the only one that saw that piece of history and he's not really in any position to shout the news to all of Westeros, fans are looking for more confirmation — and finding that dragons are the answer.

"How cool would that be for the dragons to recognise [Jon]," YouTube creator Rawrist suggested at the panel, Time reports. "He's a dragon seed at the very least — he has Targaryen blood in him. If he went to the dragons and one of the dragons came to him — especially [Rhaegal], the one named after his biological dad — and the dragon recognises him and bows its head and lets him get on it..."

If fans are right, the dragons embracing Snow would put him in the running as one of the three prophesied figures that could ride the dragons into what most assume is a surefire victory. And since the show's gone completely off-book and George R. R. Martin's continuity isn't a reliable predictor any longer, all bets are off and anything is possible.

But even if the dragons are a reliable source of paternity news, there is the issue of Jon Snow actually meeting up with them. That's a problem, since he's up in the snowy white North and Daenerys Targaryen's trio of fire-breathing beasts are pretty far away. If and when Snow and Dany do meet up, it's sure to be epic, since fans have been waiting (and waiting) for the two to join forces since day one.

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Throughout the past couple of years, we've heard about the thousands of people who have fled the horrors of war in the Middle East, Islamic State's dominance, and other unimaginable conflicts. But what about those who have been left behind?

For more than two years, ISIS was in control of Mosul, a major city in northern Iraq. Mosul is the country's second most populated hub and in June 2014 became the largest region controlled by the group. But in the autumn of 2016, an American-led coalition, the Iraqi army, and the Kurdish Peshmerga forces were able to start regaining control of the city, which stands near the border between Iraq and Syria.

Around this time, photographer Abbie Trayler-Smith was able to travel to the area surrounding the city with Oxfam in an effort to capture what the experience was like for women who lived under the group throughout this period. They're now free from ISIS' control, but many challenges still remain.

Trayler-Smith's work addresses many questions: What was it like to live under the tight rule of ISIS and to now be liberated? What was the magnitude of ISIS' presence, and how did it shape their lives for those two years? What about their families? And where do they go from here?

"When the forces first broke into Mosul and people were able to escape, the stories they told us were so surreal to me," she told Refinery29, adding, "[They told us] how nobody had been allowed a phone or a SIM card, and how people had been killed if they were found with either in their possession."

The women interviewed by Trayler-Smith shared stories of loss, fear for the future, and resilience — from those who lost their partners, to those who were determined to rebuild their lives just like they were before ISIS' arrival. But if there was a common thread, it was the sheer horror of it all.

"The story that really chilled me to the core was from a mother who told me how they’d had to stop their children from going to school so that they wouldn’t be brainwashed. And when I asked what she meant she said, 'You know, in math class, they were counting like two guns plus two guns equals four guns, and singing songs about killing people,'" Trayler-Smith said. "It just made me realise what these people have lived through for two years."

More than 300,000 people have fled Mosul since last autumn, according to the office of the UN Humanitarian Coordinator in Iraq. The battle has lasted nine months, and the number of internally displaced people is expected to increase as the Iraqi forces regain control of the last sections of the city. Trayler-Smith emphasises that even though the majority of the city has been retrieved from ISIS' control, the women's journey is far from over.

The photographer said she wants people looking at her photos to see how many similarities exist between these women and any other person.

"What I felt after meeting and talking to all of the women I photographed is that they are no different to me or my friends," she said. "I hope people just pause to look at the pictures and see the women in them as just another human being. I hope they can make a connection with them like I did when I was there with them. Despite differences in culture and life experience we all have similar concerns: health, family, loved ones, security. None of the women I photographed want ISIS around."

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If you haven’t been sucked into a GLOW -shaped Netflix hole yet, allow us to set the scene. The show is a throwback to a spandex delight of an '80s reality TV show called The Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling, documenting the trials and tribulations of a bunch of out-of-work LA actresses hoping to get their big break.

The original show, and the Netflix series (from the creators of Orange is the New Black), is based around the curious world of pro-wrestling. Yes, exactly – the one where testosterone-filled, muscle-bound men slam each other to the floor shouting and screaming. Except this time, with chicks. Which isn’t unheard of (Ronda Rousey is the US’ well-known star) but, for a long time, rampant sexism and ‘bra and panties’ matches did somewhat inhibit the sport’s progression into the 21st century.

That, and the fact that pro-wrestling is pretty hard to define. Another star, Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, once described it as "like stand-up comedy". But put simply, this is a heightened mix of MMA and Geordie Shore, only with even more steroids. Fights involve choreographed moves and carefully constructed storylines, and last up to 20 minutes. Points are scored by pinning your opponent to the mat for three seconds. This isn’t just sport, it’s scripted drama. By the time you’ve added huge raucous crowds, you’d be hard-pressed to find a more intense, intimidating and unforgiving place than Saturday night at a pro-wrestling fight.

Yet for some reason it’s where 32-year-old bipolar sufferer Emily Read, who’s spent most of her upper-middle-class life feeling out of place, is most at home.

While her two older sisters were busy leading ‘normal’ childhoods in rural Norfolk, Read was glued to the wrestling channel with her dad. “I think a lot of it was filled with me feeling out of sorts and I assume that’s because I was bipolar,” explains Read, who wasn’t diagnosed correctly until she was 26. “I suppose I had a very normal upbringing, but it was difficult for me. And I never knew why.”

She spent her formative years deliberately evading diagnosis. “I grew up being told that mental health isn’t a thing,” explains Read. “So whenever the doctors gave me a test where you answer questions by ticking boxes, I lied.” As a result, by the time Read left school and her contemporaries were heading off to university, she had been wrongly diagnosed with ME. But despite this, she felt compelled to leave her family to follow her dreams of becoming a pro-wrestler, a few hundred miles away in Portsmouth.

“My mum was horrified, she was absolutely convinced I would be paralysed, or killed,” offers Read. “But I get this thing, where I feel like I should be doing something, I just go all in.”

It paid off: Read joined a pro-wrestling training camp and to date is the only woman to have made it through. She began to meet people she could relate to and in this high-drama world, for the first time in her life, she started to feel like she belonged. That is, until the outrageous sexism that riddles the industry started to get to her.

Not so long ago, WWE, the world’s largest pro-wrestling company, referred to its female fights officially as the 'Divas Division' – and unofficially as the 'piss-break'. Read, with her mousy hair and B cup, didn’t fit the aesthetic ideals that most promoters went for. “At the time they liked women with huge fake breasts,” explains Read. “They were getting them deals with Playboy as well. It's just the look they wanted.”

“I had seen some horrific sexism by that point,” she continues. “At its worst, being informed – just informed – that other trainees [at the camp] had the right to sleep with you if you were a female trainee. Now I’m not saying that they would have raped me if I’d said no, but it was this attitude that we were dealing with. That was just fact.”

Another standard practice in the world of pro-wrestling was slut-shaming. “If one of the female trainees did sleep with a trainer or wrestler, or start dating someone, then they were a slut”, Read continues.

It’s remarkable that anyone, no matter their mental state, could cope in this kind of situation. Let alone someone who was living alone, miles from home, with an undiagnosed mental illness. And for a while, Read stood her ground. “I have never been a pushover. I wouldn’t let the guys give me pet names, or touch me – if they grabbed my arse during a move, they wouldn’t ever do that again”, she laughs.

But when Read began to date a promoter, she couldn’t stand the taunts of being “that girl who dates a promoter just to get on shows”, and conceded. “It was a horrible environment to be in, wrestling wasn’t what I hoped it would be. And that’s what I struggled with too. But that’s when I met Dann [now her husband] and I saw how wrestling could be, the creative side.”

It was at this point that Read switched from competing to promoting, falling in love with the sport all over again as she worked her way up the ranks. Now, over a decade later, Emily and Dann run a popular ‘feminist-punk-rock’ wrestling company called Pro-Wrestling: EVE. Their sexism-free, homophobia-free, seriously fucking empowering shows are a hit, and their one-strike policy with "nasty" troublemakers has garnered them a broad fanbase – including trans people, many of whom don’t feel safe watching the sport live elsewhere.

And Read speaks of her own female trainees [who she works with through EVE] with an almost maternal sense of pride. “They can’t shout at the beginning – they either try and shout and nothing comes out, or they’re really quiet. It’s so conditioned in women to be quiet and small, it’s a real hindrance when it comes to wrestling,” she says. “And I see women learn to be big and loud and take up space. And the community spirit is superb.”

But success hasn’t come easy in those 12 years since Read left home. She’s found the love of her life, had two children, bought a house and started running a health food shop, but she’s also suffered a major breakdown. Because she grew up being told “mental health wasn’t a thing”, Read spent most of her adult life trying to “fix” herself, without getting the medical assistance she desperately needed.

“I don’t think you can name a complementary therapy I haven’t tried,” says Read. “From crystal healing to homeopathy, all the way down to things like the Lightning Process. And none of them fixed me. Because I have a chemical imbalance in my brain.” Things got particularly bad when once again, in her mid-twenties, she was misdiagnosed: this time with depression.

“I’d been self-harming for a while, and one day I locked the shop door and started using the parcel opener to cut my arm. And I just thought, this isn’t right, I shouldn’t be doing this,” she explains. “I’d started taking anti-depressants and I couldn’t understand why I was suddenly so much worse.

“I tried to leave, because I was going to get a train to the next station where there were always through trains. I was going to go and jump in front of one.” Read pauses for a moment then continues: “And as I looked to the right to the train station, a lady walked past with a buggy and a little girl walking next to her. And I remembered I had kids. Then I looked to my left and saw my doctor’s.

“I went in there and they were so kind to me. I have no idea what I must have looked like.”

Read was hospitalised for three months. She and Dann lost their shop, lost EVE and lost their house. But it saved her life: finally, she was correctly diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Upon leaving hospital it took her a further two years to get back to normal, and finally they got EVE back up and running. Read then returned to her ringmaster duties. “It wasn’t until we started doing it again that I realised, I needed it,” Read reflects. “I needed something that helped me make a difference.”

To see Emily, Dann and Pro Wrestling: EVE in action, head to The Resistance Gallery, Bethnal Green on Saturday 15th July.

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Rebecca, a young engineer, recently asked me the question, "How do I raise my profile in meetings?" She had just gone through the annual appraisal process where the feedback from her boss was, "You don’t say enough in meetings, you need to contribute more." I asked her what she thought about the feedback. Rebecca paused, deliberated, and said, "I think it’s better to say nothing in a meeting unless I’m adding something over and above everyone else’s contributions."

Wise words. Too many moments of valuable meeting time are consumed by those who like the sound of their own voice, or repeat themselves, or who simply blether on. And yet her economy of input wasn’t serving her. What was her boss wanting to see – and why? What was holding her back? A lack of confidence? A sense of unworthiness? Or was it a matter of not knowing what to do? We settled on the latter and started to explore the options available to her.

Giving an opinion or sharing information and experience are just two of the ways in which you can make a contribution to a meeting. These are also two of the least effective ways to behave and Rebecca seemed to sense this. But she had yet to discover how she could participate in discussions in ways that helped the other attendees and herself.

Together we worked through the top 10 strategies for making your voice heard in meetings:

1. Be selective
Skilled performers know when best to contribute as well as how best to contribute. They have a sense of timing that ensures they contribute without being disruptive. This strategy appealed to Rebecca’s cautious approach while emphasising the importance of saying something and making her presence felt.

2. Be concise
Teams and groups that work well tend to share the distribution of airtime with no one person dominating more than another. A big contributor to this efficiency is the ability to ‘get in’ to the conversation, say what you need to say and then ‘get out’. This can be a challenge for extroverts, who can sometimes turn on the communication tap and provide a steady, unstoppable flow. For introverts, who prefer to reflect on content before thinking, it means that oftentimes the conversation has moved on before they’re ready to speak. Being mindful of your personal style and the levels of participation across the group are fundamental to improving your performance and the success of the group.

3. Vary your contributions
The default inputs in meetings fall into a category of behaviour known as Giving Information. This includes making statements of fact and giving an opinion or reasons. Research into effective meetings behaviours has revealed a number of more effective alternatives, some of which are outlined below:

4. Summarising
If, like Rebecca, you don’t have anything to add to the subject under discussion, you can help the entire meeting by summarising key points at regular intervals. In studies on skilful behaviours across a range of work situations, summarising regularly shows up as a helpful, yet still relatively uncommon, behaviour. One of the reasons it’s rare is because to summarise accurately you have to be a good listener and be attending to the contributions of others rather than focussing on your own agenda.

5. Labelling
A behaviour label is a device which announces the behaviour that you’re going to use next. For example: "Can I just ask a question?" followed by a question, or "I’d like to add some information here", followed by giving information, or "Here’s another idea for the pot", followed by a proposal. Labelling helps to command the attention of the other people in the meeting and it then creates the space for you to say your piece and be heard.

6. Shutting Out
Sometimes, to get into a conversation you have to steal the airtime from another person. This is a behaviour known as Shutting Out. If you’re reluctant to speak out in a meeting, your attempts at using this behaviour will likely be ineffective. A helpful formula for interrupting and claiming the airtime is A + B + C = SO. A is A non-verbal indication that you want to get into the discussion. You can lean forward, indicate with your hand, nod with your head and/or make eye contact with the speaker or the chairperson in a way that communicates "I have something to say". B is a Behaviour label. Use a label to prepare the audience that you want their attention. C is the Category of behaviour you use next, eg. asking a question, suggesting an idea. These three elements combined significantly increase your chances of SO – Shutting Out – successfully.

7. Building
This is a behaviour used by the most skilful individuals. Building behaviour is defined as "adding to or modifying a proposal or suggestion made by another person". In a meeting this might sound like:

Proposal: I’d like to spend some time looking at those figures
Build: Maybe we could get Sam to talk you through them

Like Summarising, Building relies on your ability to listen. Done authentically, Building also demonstrates that your interest lies with the people generating the ideas, rather than competing with your own ideas. This is why effective ‘builders’ are often described as helpful. A further use of Building is as an alternative to disagreeing with someone’s idea. Rather than reject the suggestion outright, take an element of the idea that you like and work with that. It’s a powerful way to build relationships, improve climate and gain momentum.

8. React
Reacting behaviours are the way we let other people know how we respond to what they have said. The two most common reacting behaviours are Supporting and Disagreeing. If you have a low count on both these behaviours, you may be what the researchers call a ‘Low Reactor’. Such a person can often have a negative or destabilising effect on a group because others find it hard to judge where they’re coming from. If Rebecca fell into the Low Reactor trap it could lead to people being suspicious of her behaviour. So rather than set the group on edge, use Supporting and Disagreeing as a way of being heard. When you like an idea or agree with something someone has said, say so. When you aren’t convinced, let people know. Skilled performers support and disagree in equal measure. With Disagreeing, be sure to state your reasons first and then your disagreement. That way you can be sure people have heard the basis of your dispute. If you lead with "I disagree because…", the chances are that people will already be preparing their rebuttal and so won’t hear your reasoning, however coherent it may be.

9. Ask questions
If there's one mantra I would like to resonate around the walls of corporate meeting rooms, it’s this: Give less, Ask more, Ask better. The intent is to help you build your interactions around inquiry. Being curious rather than judgmental is one of the most powerful ways to ensure you are heard and to build the relationships that will help you towards success. Ask people for their ideas, their thoughts and their reactions: "How do you think we should do this?", "What’s your basis for saying that?", "How do you feel about what’s been discussed so far?". Questions also help to provide clarity in the meeting, ensuring people leave with the same level of understanding.

10. Develop influencing styles
To influence without authority requires a skilful use of the ‘Pull’ style of persuasion. Behaviourally this is characterised by three behaviours: Seeking Proposals; Building and Seeking Information. However, when time is short, or where you’re the expert, or where you’re happy to go with compliance rather than commitment, then you will need to master a ‘Push’ style of persuasion. Here the dominant behaviours are Proposing ideas and Giving Information. Being heard in business is helped by choosing the style that best fits the situation and exercising it skilfully.

Building her awareness of these tactics and taking opportunities to practise has helped Rebecca build new behavioural muscle. Much of what she’s learned has not only helped her voice to be heard in meetings, but also in one-to-one interactions and negotiations. She has raised her skill level and her profile. A sound basis for a stellar performance review next time round.

About the author

Ally Yates is the author of Utter Confidence: How What You Say And Do Influences Your Effectiveness In Business and an expert on behaviour analysis and the interactions that define us. Twitter: @Allyyates_UC

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Here in the UK, we’re not blessed with year-round sunshine, meaning that "glowing" isn’t often the word we’d use to describe our skin. Everything can look a little dull when emerging the other side of a long winter but, now that the weather’s improving, we’re ready to begin our summer beauty ritual and dabble in a little skin TLC.

Whether you’re looking to top up your post-holiday tan or you're unlikely to be basking in warmer climes anytime soon, bronzer is your best bet for creating a more radiant look. Dark skin suits warmth-adding orange and red tones, and liquid bronzers for an all-over glow. For the paler among us, marbled shades and pro-blending is the key, while olive skin can tap into golds to bring the tan.

From on-the-go gliding balms and time-developing serums to classic compact powders, here are the best bronzers we’ll be wearing this summer.

This article was first published on 24 May 2017

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