Update: After months of anticipation, we finally have an official launch date for Rihanna's makeup collection. RiRi announced the news herself today on Instagram that this upcoming 8th September will be the day the world crumbles to the knees of Fenty Beauty and we all copy that "Wild Thoughts" red lip. Let the countdown begin.
This story was originally published 19th June 2017.
This summer, celebs are dropping top-secret beauty news like it's a visual album or baby announcement. First, sources close to Mariah Carey leaked her upcoming beauty store, right before Kim Kardashian West teased an entirely new makeup line. But with all this excitement, we still haven't forgotten one artist collection that's sure to blow the others out of the water. Enter: Fenty Beauty.
After Rihanna exclusively spilled the news to us — and a bevy of fake Instagram posts followed — we've been patiently waiting for more news on her highly-anticipated beauty line. While we have yet to see any real samples, and we email the publicist for updates almost every day, RiRi was kind enough to tease a little somethin' when a fan asked her about the highlighter. Fast forward to June and the Needed Me singer might have just exposed even more.
Photo: Courtesy of Epic Records/Sony Music Entertainment.Photo: Courtesy of Epic Records/Sony Music Entertainment.
DJ Khaled's newest music video "Wild Thoughts" just premiered last Friday and besides it being the song of the summer, we know one other thing to be true: Rihanna's makeup was trend central. The teal eyeshadow paired with a bold red lip was breathtaking, but even more, her body was beaming with head-to-toe highlighter in a shimmery pink shade that looks awfully similar to the one she was wearing the last time she was rockin' her line. Once we had a chance to collect our thoughts — and stop hailing her #freethenipple moment — we had a wild thought: Is this even more Fenty Beauty?
With the collection dropping in September, it's safe to assume the mastermind herself is currently testing and sampling product shades and formulas. So why couldn't she be wearing the final product in her latest video? While this is yet to be confirmed, we'll keep our hopes high until RiRi gives us more.
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Throughout history, there have always been women who pushed back against the roles society set for them. Suffragettes fought for the right to vote; lesbians fought (and continue to fight) to have their relationships acknowledged publicly and treated equally under the law. But it’s still somewhat taboo for women to push back against the role they have occupied the longest: mother.
Childfree and childless have just one syllable’s difference, but they are a huge chasm apart. To treat all women who do not have children as a single, monolithic group is to ignore the most critical of all questions: why? To parse this, let’s think in slightly longer phrases: childless (by circumstance) and childfree (by choice). A woman who is childless-by-circumstance may want to have children, but could be coping with fertility issues, waiting until her financial situation is different, or trying to find a partner first. Childfree-by-choice women do not have children because they simply have decided not to.
Eat, Pray, Love author Elizabeth Gilbert has said that she believes there were always women who knew they had no maternal desire; historically, these women would become nuns, governesses, or whatever option was available to women of their era and status. Often, they took on the role of caretaker for other women’s children. But celibacy, poverty, and a life without protection from the male-dominated law was often the price they paid for this freedom. For Gilbert, it seemed that she couldn’t be her whole self — someone completely devoted to her writing work — and also be a parent. This career-woman-or-mother dichotomy has plagued women for centuries, but it leaves out the many women who simply never wanted children and who never had to prioritise a career over something else. “I have chosen to remain childless, which is a decision that reflects my own life, my own desires, my own destiny,” Gilbert said.
She isn’t the only woman writer who has considered this subject. In 2015, Los Angeles Times columnist Meghan Daum edited the collection Selfish, Shallow, and Self Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids, which included essays from Anna Holmes, Kate Christensen, Lionel Shriver, and Geoff Dyer. And although Daum has become a major face of the childfree movement, she isn’t a fan of the word itself. “I am sort of allergic to jargon, and it sounds like jargon,” she said over the phone from her home in L.A. “‘Childfree by choice’ is redundant.” Daum refers to herself as “childless by choice,” but she finds the phrase cumbersome and would rather keep working toward finding a sharper, snappier term. (She likes "barrenness," because it sounds like “baroness.")
It’s still somewhat taboo for women to push back against the role they have occupied the longest: mother.
Daum’s book came out of a desire to soften the us-or-them language that so often makes childfree people feel like they must be strident in their beliefs, using dismissive terms like “breeders.” As a result, some of the essays in Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed feature men and women talking about how they like kids in theory or enjoy being around them despite opting not to become parents themselves. Some talked about economics; others about desire. "I was trying to put together a book with broad appeal that would reach parents and non-parents," Daum explained. "A few years ago we were in a moment where we had to bring the discussion [about people choosing not to have children] into the mainstream. I can’t tell you how long I’d been wanting to do this project, and [potential editors and publishers] told me that I was addressing this tiny niche group." As a result, she adds, "One criticism that was made [of the book] is that a lot of people seem to be bending over backwards to say they like kids or feel like they have to apologize for it."
That’s because Daum essentially had to reach two groups at once — she had to speak to parents who believed they’d made the right decision by having children but were curious about those who’d chosen to live a childfree life, but also be a voice for childfree individuals who felt like they’d been ignored by traditional narratives about families and relationships. That false dichotomy went back to Daum’s initial issue with the word "childfree" — it created a division that felt politicised, rather than simply identifying a group by name. But when her book was published, it became a New York Times bestseller, spurring comments and reactions from around the world. Despite the initial concern by book publishers that Daum’s book wouldn’t find an audience, it wound up finding several. And it was a sign that childfree people were interested in buying more than just books.
The I-don't-have-kids-but-I-like-them community has been dubbed PANKs (Professional Aunt, No Kids). The term was coined by Melanie Notkin, who turned her Savvy Auntie blog, aimed at women like herself who were involved aunts or godmothers and wanted to buy kid stuff without the judgment, into a full-on lifestyle brand dubbed "Otherhood." She has been praised by some feminists for acknowledging all the underappreciated childrearing work done by non-mother family members and criticised by others for taking too much advantage of marketing opportunities. Last year, she appeared in a New York Post photoshoot proclaiming, "I'm 47 and my love life is better than ever!"
Although Notkin has been dinged for using her platform for profit — she has partnered with Westin on hotel rooms specifically aimed at female solo travellers, for example — it's not at all unusual for women in the public eye to leverage their motherhood status for financial gain. For example, actress Jessica Alba is now arguably better known for her green baby and kid-product brand, the Honest Company, than for her film and TV roles, and part of her narrative is that obsessively checking the ingredients in products she used for her two daughters was what inspired her to become an entrepreneur. Notkin isn't just savvy at being an aunt — she keenly recognised that a significant group of women were being ignored by advertisers, and put herself in front of those companies as an ambassador. In America, where money is viewed as proof of success, Meghan Daum and Melanie Notkin have been able to prove that women without children are willing to buy books, stay in hotel rooms, and purchase kids' toys — and once you're worth being marketed to, you matter.
Photo: Pexel.
It must be said that, like many conversations about femaleness, discussions around being childfree have often centred around white, middle- or upper-class women. In the past, white women have been more likely to have access to contraception, to medical care, or to doctors who would perform abortions in secret when they were illegal otherwise. As Braelin E. Settle of Wayne State University notes in her 2014 dissertation, "Defying Mandatory Motherhood: The Social Experiences of Childfree Women," "Women of colour were assimilated into dominant white culture to take advantage of their labor, leaving them with few or no policies to protect and preserve their families in comparison to white women’s families. Women of colour have performed the mothering work for white children, resulting in the neglect with their own children. Whereas women of colour have always worked, white, middle-class women have often had the option to concentrate only on motherhood and other caregiving responsibilities." For her study, Settle surveyed a range of women about their decision to be childfree. Predominantly, it was white women who identified as "active" and “certain,” while Black and Latina women were more likely to say they were "passive" and “ambivalent” about their choices. In 2016, actress Joy Bryant wrote an essay for Lena Dunham’s Lenny newsletter entitled "Stop Telling Me I Should Have Kids." Bryant addressed some of the most common sentiments lobbed her way — namely, that her being pretty meant her kids would be pretty, or that she "owed" it to her husband to reproduce — but race didn’t appear to be among her reasons for or against parenthood.
Ultimately, Daum says, choosing not to have children is fascinating and controversial to so many people because it gets at a larger question about what it means to be an adult. Many of the social markers we’ve used in the past — owning a home, having a steady job, leaving the big city for the suburbs, being married — have fallen away or been redefined. The ongoing debates about whether women can “have it all” inquire whether a woman can balance a spouse, kids, career, and personal pursuits like hobbies — without stopping to ask what “all” would look like for a woman who’s not interested in one of the usual elements, or to consider what that means for women who marry other women. And that's not to say that any woman who decides to have a child is a tool of the patriarchal past. Simply providing women with choices about motherhood — how many kids and when, what kind of labor and delivery she wants — is a revolutionary and modern concept. What the childfree-by-choice movement does is include "whether" in that list of choices.
While the question of what makes a man a man has been a subject of philosophy since the days of Homer, the notion of a woman expressing opinions about her own body, especially if that opinion is that she doesn’t want to have children — whether because of health, economics, or simply not feeling up to it — terrifies much of our society because it means that a woman is choosing to live her life for herself and herself alone. It means that she is a whole, entire person defined solely by her words and actions, not by her relationship to someone else. It means that she can become what men have always been. No matter what name it goes by — childfree, childless by choice, barrenness — it is a major sign of forward movement that more and more women around the world have the ability to make their own decisions about their bodies and, by association, the shape of their lives.
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Sofia Coppola is one of the must successful women in Hollywood. Scratch that — she's one of the most successful people in the industry, period. The director has a host of award-winning, critically acclaimed titles under her belt. And last month, she made history when she became the first woman in 56 years (and second ever) to win Best Director at the Cannes Film Festival for The Beguiled, hitting cinemas June 23. All of which is to say: she is definitely somebody we'd look to for career advice. That's why we're taking the words of wisdom that she shared with Marie Claire, both personal and professional, very seriously.
Marie Claire published 31 facts you never know about the filmmaker, whose movie are marked by her signature aesthetic, incredible soundtracks, and strong female characters (1999's The Virgin Suicides, 2003 's Lost In Translation, 2006's Marie Antoinette, and 2013's The Bling Ring). The accomplished and successful mom of two (with Phoenix singer Thomas Mars) said the best career advice she's ever gotten came early the game, courtesy of Anjelica Huston, when Coppola was just 20 years old: "Not everyone's going to like you." That's a great one for any woman who knows she has an ingrained habit of people-pleasing, in or outside the workplace. It also goes along with the three qualities that Coppola says got her to where she is today: "Stubbornness, strong work ethic, basic manners." In other words, don't budge on your values and vision, work hard, and be polite.
Coppola also got personal for a few of the questions. She said the relationship she'd give to her younger self is "Don't get married before 30." At age 28, Coppola married director Spike Jonze ( Where the Wild Things Are, Her); the couple divorced four years later. It seems like Coppola probably has a good attitude about her split, though. She told MC that the advice she'd give to a woman with a broken heart is this: "It will make a good story someday that you'll laugh about." Sounds like a healthy philosophy to us. God, is there anything Sofia Coppola doesn't know? (Yes: how to sing, according to her.)
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Air-drying your hair is the ideal summer styling method. Less hot air blowing in your face and more sleep in the morning is a much better way to start the day, but controlling your results is an altogether different battle.
Air-dried hair, unless you're very lucky, is normally associated with frizz or flatness, tangles or fly aways — and certainly not the bouncy curls, smooth waves, and shiny strands we're after. However, it doesn't have to be so hard to master, according to celebrity hairstylist Michael Dueñas.
The first step is to adequately condition — something that's important for all textures. "Frizz is your hair's way of trying to get more moisture," Dueñas says. Then, with the right products and the proper manipulation, a lacklustre air-dried finish can be a thing of the past.
Dueñas shares his tips and tricks to a better air-dry, ahead.
Curly Hair
Flip your head upside down while in the shower, then rake your favourite conditioner through your hair from root to tip, Dueñas says. Squeeze out the extra moisture by plopping, then style as desired in the morning. Or, if you're washing in the morning, apply a leave-in cream — like Bumble and Bumble’s Don’t Blow It — before putting your damp hair into a high bun for the day. (When you release the bun you'll have smooth curls — with less frizz.) Remember: the best way to fight frizz is to be as hands off as possible, hence the out-your-face updo.
To Polish It Up Once Dry: "If you desire a little more bit more volume in your curls, use a diffuser attachment and set your dryer to high heat, low airflow," he says. "Scrunch your hair towards the scalp, and apply heat for about two minutes." Dueñas, who's a Conair spokesperson, loves the brand's 3QMS dryer. Alternatively, you can smooth any puffy curls with an iron that matches your curl size.
Short Hair
Add your favourite texture spray or medium-hold styling cream to your hair while damp. Comb the product through, then arrange your hair how you like it and allow it to air-dry completely without touching it. Once it is dry, flip your head upside down and shake your scalp to increase volume and texture.
To Polish It Up Once Dry: For a hit of texture, use the dryer for two to three minutes, shaking your hair as you wave the dryer back and forth.
Fine & Straight Hair
First, apply your favourite smoothing, light-hold cream. Brush your hair until it's smooth, getting rid of all tangles. For a little bit of wave and volume, Dueñas suggests you bring your hair to the top of your head and secure with a bun, twisting and wrapping your hair around itself. Once your hair is dry, take the bun down, and smooth your hair out with your fingers or a brush.
Or, for even more volume, add your favourite mousse, brushing it in from scalp to ends after you detangle, then create two large pinned curls on the top of your head, making sure not to secure with any elastics (to avoid dents).
To Polish It Up Once Dry: Try smoothing any puffy sections using an iron with coated plates.
Thick & Wavy Hair
Use a hair towel or T-shirt to blot as much water out of the hair as possible. Once you remove moisture, simply apply your favourite oil or smoothing cream. "I like to use oil because it tends to force the water out of the hair and helps it dry faster," Dueñas says. Let your hair dry halfway, then plop.
To Polish It Up Once Dry: A good leave-in conditioner will help fight dry out, so mist then finger comb.
Textured/Natural Hair
Time for a twist-out! When your hair is damp, apply your favourite leave-in conditioner. Divide your hair into 1-inch sections, split that section in half and twist the two haves around each other. Tension will hold them together. Leave them twisted together until they're completely dry. For those with thick hair, it can take days — so try pinning those twists up into a bun or knots, or wrap them in a printed head wrap.
To Polish It Up Once Dry: Dry any twists that are still damp with the lowest setting on your blow dryer before letting them loose.
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If you've got a case of wanderlust but are hesitant to put your career on hold in favour of traipsing around the globe, the results of a new survey will undoubtedly be music to your ears. Because according to data gathered by Hostelworld, being well-travelled may actually make you more employable.
Although it can feel daunting and sometimes even irresponsible to travel the world rather than take the first steady job opportunity that comes along, many employers view travel as an asset when they're reviewing those stacks of résumés. The survey found that 64% of UK adults think travelling makes a person more employable but, notably, this number jumped to 82% when employers themselves were polled.
There are a number of reasons being well-travelled can make a person more employable. The perception that it boosts confidence topped the list, followed by stronger interpersonal skills, the ability to adapt to new situations, and a more global view.
Among those surveyed, 62% of the participants who had travelled reported that their experiences helped them figure out what they truly want to do with their lives. Another 61% reported that job experience abroad looked good on their CVs, and 46% of the travellers said they made connections during their travels that ultimately helped them land long-term employment when the time was right.
The study also showed that individuals who travel are more likely to be entrepreneurs: 34% of the travellers were self-employed, compared to 14% of the participants who hadn't explored the world.
Matteo Colombo/Getty Images
"We know that for some people employment can be a barrier to travel — whether it be young adults wanting to get on the career ladder, or those further down the line with mortgages to pay — but our research shows that this doesn't have to be the case," said Feargal Mooney, Chief Executive Officer at Hostelworld.
These are certainly legitimate concerns: Regardless of how much a person enjoys travelling the globe, it's often impossible to not compare ourselves to our peers who are rapidly climbing the corporate ladder. However, Hostelworld's research indicates that travel has a positive impact on long-term employability.
"Thousands of young adults will be graduating this summer and thinking about their next steps in life — but with growing competition in the jobs market, candidates are finding it harder and harder to stand out," Mooney said. "Travelling not only allows people the space and time to think about what they want to do with their lives and ignite their passions, but also provides you with invaluable skills including increased confidence that will help you to stand out from the crowd."
When we graduate, many of us assume that the next step has to be securing a career in our field of choice. The fear of falling behind our peers is strong, especially when social media is quick to remind us of every single promotion they secure. And despite how much we may value following our own path, plenty of people are concerned that employers may not see travelling as an asset.
But as it turns out, following a passion for travel isn't just good for the soul, it also means many employers will view you as more confident, versatile, and entrepreneurial. So if you've got the travel bug, there's no need to fight it in favour of locking down a corporate job STAT.
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So you've sorted your summer wardrobe and invested in some shades to see you through the sunny months in style but what about when it comes to footwear? Sweaty toes in trainers are a no-go and flip-flops should ideally be resigned firmly to the beach. Slides are too casual for certain occasions and in hot weather, strappy heels aren't worth the fuss or the chafe.
Enter the espadrille. Whether you're looking for an overtly feminine style with wrap ankle ties or a more laid-back sporty style, click ahead for our roundup of the best selection of the beloved raffia summer staple.
The Castañer family has been reinventing the espadrille since 1927 and in the late ‘60s, the brand came to prominence after creating the first jute-soled wedge for Yves Saint Laurent. Owning the espadrille market for decades, naturally Castañer is still the brand of choice of our favourite dressers this summer, from Jeanne Damas and Adenorah to Tanya Burr.
This mango-yellow pair of Castañer's classic canvas Chiara espadrilles is perfect teamed with your favourite summer dress or trusty jeans and a T-shirt.
Castañer Chiara canvas wedge espadrilles, £85, available at Matches Fashion
Inject some more colour into your wardrobe with these red suede Soludos espadrilles.
Soludos Red suede espadrilles, £80, available at Browns Fashion
Loewe's beige suede espadrilles are crafted with a collapsible heel, so you can wear them traditionally or fold them into a backless, more casual slip-on style.
Loewe Foldable-heel suede espadrille loafers, £350, available at Matches Fashion
Available in black, lace, black and white stripes or terracotta, these versatile espadrilles will fit in seamlessly with your summer sartorial choices.
Sézane Low Milano espadrilles, £70, available at Sézane
The bold blue and white stripes mark these raffia-effect and vinyl espadrilles as part of Balenciaga's Bazar line – a collection inspired by traditional Sampeng market bags.
Balenciaga Bazar striped raffia-effect espadrilles, £345, available at Matches Fashion
If ever there was a pair of shoes perfect for holidaying along the French Riviera, these are them.
Zara Striped tied wedges, £29.99, available at Zara
Upgrade your trainers for the sunny months with these flatform plimsolls.
Superga 2790 espadrille flatform trainers in white, £55, available at Superga
In need of a chic pair of shoes for any summer weddings or garden parties you have over the next few months? Chloé’s cornflower-blue suede Lauren sandals with a scallop detail offer a statement take on the traditional espadrille.
Chloé Lauren suede espadrille wedge sandals, £435, available at Matches Fashion
These delicate slip-ons with floral embroidery will add a hint of playful femininity to a casual weekend outfit.
Tabitha Simmons Natural embroidered dotty festival espadrilles, £350, available at Avenue32
Elevate your look with these vibrant red wedges, just waiting to be worn to a bank holiday BBQ or picnic in the park.
ASOS JUICIER tie leg espadrille wedges, £25, available at ASOS
For those devoted to various shades of noir. Because black can still be surprisingly summery.
Kurt Geiger Black flat espadrilles, £59, available at Kurt Geiger
If pool slides aren't your thing and you haven't quite mastered the mule trend, these easy-to-wear pointy flats have your name all over them.
Topshop Knight pointy espadrilles, £52, available at Topshop
But if you prefer to avoid colour, these zebra-print espadrilles will go well with everything from your well-worn boyfriend jeans to a floral tea dress.
Topshop Knight pointy espadrilles, £52, available at Topshop
Take your work wardrobe up a notch now the warm weather is here with these elegant neutral espadrilles.
Uterqüe Lace-up jute wedge espadrilles, £75, available at Uterqüe
If you're looking for a summer alternative to your favourite skate shoes or trainers, these black and multicoloured Gucci leather floral embroidered espadrilles are a worthy investment.
Gucci Floral embroidered espadrilles, £405, available at Browns Fashion
Because summer really has put a spring in your step!
Zara Raffia espadrilles with slogan, £29.99, available at Zara
Calling all maximalists! These metallic espadrilles with gingham ties nail about four SS17 trends in one shoe.
Topshop King lace up espadrilles, £49, available at Topshop
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Call us killjoys, but there’s something incredibly impractical about walking around doused in iridescent highlighter and eight shades of eyeshadow, especially now the mercury has finally risen. From unicorn makeup brushes to mermaid-inspired palettes, the beauty market is currently heaving with all things fantastical, but there is a way to indulge without having to dip yourself in girlish glitter.
The most alluring brands on our shelves offer a heady dose of mystical charm with a grown-up slant, opting for bewitching ingredients and beguiling shades over rainbow hues and glitter. Click through for our verdict on the most captivating names to know.
Rituel de Fille
Rituel de Fille was concocted by three sisters with roots in makeup artistry on the Hollywood circuit. The trio approaches each formulation with the alchemy of potion-making – every ingredient has a clear purpose, leaving no room for fillers or synthetic colour. Created in-house, each product is the result of years of experimentation using history-steeped ingredients and the deepest of pigments. Everything is 99% natural (very impressive for a colour cosmetics brand) and all raw materials are sourced from certified cruelty-free companies.
With collection names like Cultus and Feral, it’ll come as no surprise that there are no pretty pink or glitter shades to be found here – think blackened-blue lipstick, sooty loose eye pigments and ghostly highlighters.
Do we have you entranced? Stick 28th June in your diary, when the brand will drop two limited-edition shades of its cult Rare Light Luminizer highlighter – Lunaris has an opalescent blue-toned finish inspired by the glow of a full moon, while Solaris reflects the red-hot gleam of the rising sun.
Rituel de Fille, from £19, available at Cult Beauty
Reek Perfume
If the sight of a traditional fragrance ad – think supermodels wafting around in designer dresses – leaves you feeling less than empowered, cast your eyes over to Reek Perfume.
Cited as the first ‘feminist fragrance line’, this Scottish brand takes inspiration from the most unapologetic heroines throughout history to create truly fierce fragrances, and with renowned nose Sarah McCartney behind the notes, they’re bound for cult status.
The line’s debut, Damn Rebel Bitches, is named after Maggie Craig’s study of the Jacobite uprisings and the rebellion’s heroine, Lady Nithsdale, who broke her husband out of the Tower of London in 1716 by dressing him as a woman. With notes of blood orange, hazelnut, pink peppercorn and malt, it’s as heady and powerful as it sounds. Arriving later this month is sister scent Damn Rebel Witches, which is dedicated to women burnt at the stake and those still prosecuted today for witchcraft – expect a heart of tobacco for a darker twist.
Reek campaign images are shot using non-professional models with absolutely no retouching, and you can find an interview with each woman on the brand’s feminist blog, Bitches Unite.
La Belle Lune’s debut night serum, Organic Skin, looks like something you might unearth from an ancient potion collection, but it’s actually hand-blended in Norwich. A childhood spent reading fairy tales and gothic stories led to founder Annabelle Powell’s obsession with the moon and the night sky – making a night oil the natural choice for her beauty debut.
This lightweight, easily absorbed oil is ideal for tackling blemishes and reducing acne scars without resorting to high-strength acids or prescription products. Alongside the usual suspects – rosehip seed, sweet almond and rose otto – this magical cocktail contains a host of curious, less-familiar extracts to supercharge the nourishing effects. Milk thistle shields skin from environmental pollutants while chia works wonders on elasticity, and rosemary C02 extract acts as a natural preservative, preventing oxidisation to keep each extract as active as possible.
La Belle Lune Organic Skin, £46, available at La Belle Lune
Lovecraft Beauty
Lovecraft Beauty is the baby of renowned makeup artist Francelle Daly, who grew up watching her mother concoct homemade soaps and beauty remedies in their New Orleans home.
For her debut lip-pen collection, Daly constructed her own lab in Brooklyn in order to control every aspect of production, from conception to completion. Combining high pigmentation with deep hydration, each brush-tipped pen can be used as a stick, gloss or stain so you can heighten the impact from day to night. The five shades – from soft pink Argus to vampish currant Sazerac – are inspired by Daly’s memories of her hometown, and vibrant enough to look striking on any skin tone. Need a little inspiration? Daly’s Instagram is a goldmine of save-worthy shots.
Flash quiz: Which of these fairytale ingredients can be found in Kypris’ Glow Philtre face mask: silver ear, sea fennel stem cells, or pomegranate pith? The answer? All three.
This little pot of magic may look like something dreamt up in a Disney film but it’s actually one of the most effective all-organic resurfacing formulas we’ve ever tried. It applies like a dense cream, smells like heaven (citrussy but not sharp), and leaves skin genuinely renewed yet never stripped. There’s absolutely no irritation and it spreads seamlessly, meaning the jar will go a long way. Apply as a 20-minute treatment to hydrate and exfoliate before makeup application, or use as a very indulgent weekly treat.
Food is unifying but it’s far from apolitical. What we eat, who has access to what, and who prepares it all have direct influence on what we put on our plates. The only constant is the need to eat, and the impulse to share. The power of food to unite us is central to Mazí Mas ' vision. Founded by Nikandre Kopcke in 2012, the name literally means ‘with us’ in Greek: it is an invitation to come to the table and share food, and stories, from all over the world. They work with women from migrant and refugee backgrounds, harnessing their skills as home cooks and training them for careers in the kitchen, enabling them to be economically independent. With chefs from around the world, their table is vivid, overflowing with flavour and rooted in these women’s cultural histories. Eating with Mazí Mas is a journey in a very real sense, with dishes from countries as diverse as Ecuador and Costa Rica in Latin America, South Sudan and Iran.
Ahead of the organisation's relaunch dinner on 27th June in London, we spoke to Roberta Siao, who’s been working with Niki since the beginning: initially as a chef (making the most delicious Brazilian cheese bread you’ll ever put in your mouth) before moving on to become general manager of the kitchen. The power and joy of community runs through Mazí Mas: in the relationships the chefs forge, in the impact that working has on their lives, in the food they create. This is how they use food to make a positive, tangible impact on the lives of women whom society often overlooks.
What is Mazí Mas and who do you work with?
Mazí Mas is a catering company and a roaming restaurant. We are a company employing talented women who are from migrant and refugee backgrounds, giving them the opportunities to develop their skills to work in the food industry and to apply their natural talent. They can then go on to work as chefs or open their own businesses. We don’t like to say ‘refugee’ or ‘migrant’ women – we centre the women and their profession, not their situation. Instead of seeing them as women who need help, we turn it around and say, chefs, women who are talented, who happen to be from that background.
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Is there a reason you work with women in particular?
Women from these backgrounds can often be very isolated – new country, new environment, and finding it difficult to find work. Working with us helps them forge their own community, while using skills they’ve already developed as caregivers. Women are generally the ones who really carry the traditions, the experience, the memories of food. As caregivers, they bring up people, and nourish them, so who better than them to cook and for us to eat from – they do generally a better job! [laughs] They bring much more meaningful context to the food – recipes that have been passed from mothers, grandmothers, aunts... and it transforms what they make. All the great chefs always mention that the food they make and the memories they carry is always from a woman – never a man. So who better to eat with than those women?
Because these women are cooking food from their home countries, is there more significance to the dishes they prepare?
It’s about more than just the recipes. What always strikes me the most is the time women spend cooking one particular dish, working on every single process in the preparation. I believe women see the food as a holistic experience, there is a start, middle and an end. It’s almost as if they are the guardians to their families and their identity and they must take extra care to do the recipe, and its history. To give you an example, only today we finished a lentil stew with a new chef, and she added something different that we’d never seen before. She made a lentil stew and she put in some orange peel. To add the orange to the stew is a first, but to have the patience and care of buying the orange, peeling, drying, then preparing and cutting – it’s something else. These women dedicate so much to these special and complex dishes.
Mazí Mas means ‘with us’. How is community important to the project, and to these women?
It’s all about community. A new group of chefs have just met in March for the restaurant and started working together. They already feel like a family! They have their own WhatsApp group, they look after each other and they get support from one another. There’s a real sense of ‘we’re all in it together’. Some of them come from very difficult backgrounds or have very difficult lives here. They found a sense of place in their other chefs.
This is true even after chefs leave us – they are still a part of our family but they have moved on to new jobs and to start their own businesses. The moment you show people their value and that they are talented, they begin to believe themselves and when they believe in themselves they just go. It’s natural as human beings. It’s a wonderful thing.
It’s that old cliché of giving a man a fish vs. teaching him to fish…
Exactly. We want all of these women to be considered and taken exactly as everyone else: they absolutely have the capacity and talent. They don’t need help, they just need opportunity to earn for themselves. Money is what makes thing go around here. If this is the way to belong, of course they need a way to join in and be independent.
And once you open that door...
It’s like, 'Woah – no one can stop me'. It sparks something inside. Now I can really let go and let myself flourish again. A lot of our chefs don’t speak very good English, but since working with us they’ve begun applying for jobs without fear of rejection. And they get jobs! They just have this new power, they are confident they can do it because someone has told them, ‘What you’re doing is great.’ It amazes me, they’re not even bothered that their English is not good enough. They have so much hope, so much energy, so much interest to make it work, that it passes over language barriers. When you create a sense of community and belonging, the meals we share are so much more than just food.
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With the longest heatwave in two decades hitting the country this week, it's time to dust off the sunglasses, slather on the suncream, pack a compact umbrella (because: reality check) and decamp to the best rooftop bars in London. We’ve found a little something for everyone in the capital, so whether it’s grand views and city suits or whimsical décor and a hip east London crowd you seek, roll up, roll up and whet your appetite for a cocktail or five al fresco as we take you on a tour of the city’s finest rooftop bars for 2017…
Oxford Street's seasonal rooftop hot spot is back, this time with an eclectic mix of vintage furniture and great new food menu. Expect heated concrete seats overlooking the street below (for the ultimate in window shopping), a coin-operated Negroni vending machine, and decadent dishes like cauliflower cheese arancini and poutine.
High above east London's office buildings, Aviary is the perfect place for a well-deserved post-work cocktail. Take a seat in the outdoor lounge, watch the sun set over the city and leave work far, far below. If you're looking for something more substantial, their indoor restaurant has the same killer views as well as a seriously amazing steak selection. You can even book a private terrace just for you – and whoever else needs a Friday cocktail.
Montcalm Royal, London House, 22-25 Finsbury Square, London EC2A 1DX
Sitting atop Hackney's Netil House, Netil 360 is one of the city’s best places to knuckle down in the sunshine – in the daytime, this venue offers workspaces, yoga and good café food. But the real news is the post-6pm vibe – think hot tubs, a croquet lawn, film screenings and more. Last orders are at 10.30 and you can't book, but it's worth trying your luck for the views and friendly, relaxed vibe.
Everyone will feel at home on One New Change's rooftop. Sunday is a good time to visit for a boozy brunch and live music. Or if you're feeling a little more saintly, you can enjoy a rooftop yoga session every Tuesday. The view of the city is really something to write home about (or, you know, Instagram), too.
This seriously central rooftop is the after-work drinking spot of choice for Mayfair's well-dressed crowd. Have a Japanese bite to eat at the delicious Aqua Kyoto or experience the true taste of Ibiza at the authentically Spanish Aqua Nueva. Either way, be sure to head out to one of the gorgeous terraces, we recommend their new Ibiza inspired Formentera Terrace, for a really decent cocktail. Warning: it might be a bit of a squeeze at sundown, and space is allocated on a first-come, first-served basis.
Selfridges' rooftop has been reincarnated yet again and this time it's like, totally LA! You can enjoy the same stunning views as ever but this summer it's all about the West Coast. Channel your inner Gwyneth with one of their new wholegrain salads or do like Lindsay used to with one of their signature margaritas...or three. Fortunately, they also have a fully retractable roof so if the weather gets too British, you can still indulge in a spot of California dreamin'.
Despite being one of the coolest rooftop spaces in the city (and one of its worst-kept secrets), you shouldn't struggle to find a space at Frank's. The huge space covers the entire roof of a multi-storey car park, and offers airy panoramic views across London. A strictly casual affair, the BBQ on offer is more than decent and the drinks are reasonable and plentiful.
Enclosed in glass at the very top of the Walkie Talkie building, this is an ideal option for anyone who loves a rooftop but has a healthy distrust of British weather. You do have to book in advance but it's free and, once you're up there, you have access to five different restaurants and bars to suit any kind of evening. This summer, the newest has teamed up with Belvedere for a series of Sunset Sessions, to serenade you (and your cocktail) from May to September. All five bars guarantee unparalleled views, though, and you'll stay dry if the typical British summer does make an appearance.
If a party on the roof is all you seek this summer, look no further – the weekend DJ lineup at the Prince of Wales is sure to please, while the three bars serve nicely as a one-venue bar crawl during the week. It gets very busy in the sunshine but the prices are good and you'll likely make friends in the queue for the bar.
I say rooftop, you say... Croydon? Yes, nowhere in London can resist the rooftop drinking trend and Croydon's combined open-air cinema, bar and garden is one of our favourites. They have a great lineup of films this summer (especially during their Independent Women Film Festival) but the fine selection of craft beers, excellent barbecue and great DJs make it worth a visit even without checking the cinema listings.
Top Deck, Centrale Car Park, Tamworth Road, Croydon CR0 1XW
It's worth pre-booking for this trendy east London spot – and once you're in, you'll want to stay all afternoon for their excellent food and drinks. We'd recommend the sharing menu, although you might not want to share...
2-4 Boundary Street, Shoreditch, London E2 7DD 020 7729 1051
The prices are as high as this rooftop beauty spot, making it a favourite for city slickers. The food and wine are worth splashing out on for a special occasion, and don't leave without a stroll around the garden's carefully coiffed hedges. The views are stunning.
There's a European feel at this all-white-everything luxe rooftop spot. Come the evening, the club music might be a bit of a turn-off for some, but it's worth splashing out on the pricey drinks for the view of Big Ben, the Shard, the London Eye and more. The Spanish tapas menu is really tasty – and you can also book in for a weekend brunch to remember.
Radio Rooftop Bar, ME London, 336-337 Strand, WC2R 1HA 0207 395 3440
Downsides of this central rooftop drinking hole include the £5 entry fee and the cocktail prices. But the views are second to none and (possibly because of the aforementioned price list) it doesn't get too overcrowded, which sets it apart from most of the best rooftop spaces in the city.
2 Spring Gardens, Trafalgar Square, SW1A 2TS 020 7870 2995
You can reserve an indoor table at this city spot that has stunning views of Tower Bridge, the Tower of London and the Shard, but outdoor space goes on a first-come, first-served basis. Peak time is after work but you’ll find this outdoor haven refreshingly chilled during the day or on a Sunday. The bar snacks are great, and the Millionaire Mojito is worth a repeat visit alone.
At 39 storeys high, it's one of the loftiest rooftops in the city so vertigo sufferers should steer clear. (Although if you suffer from vertigo and are reading a guide to rooftop bars, it's likely you're a daredevil.) The It crowd migrates here for the summer for the outstanding cocktail collection, so prepare for a lot of "Yah darling's" and air kisses with your Sambatini. Natch.
110 Bishopsgate, EC2N 4AY 0203 640 7330
@sushisamba
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The family announced his death in a statement released by UC Health Systems, saying, "It is our sad duty to report that our son, Otto Warmbier, has completed his journey home. Surrounded by his loving family, Otto died today at 2:20pm."
The family thanked the University of Cincinnati Medical Center for treating him but said, "Unfortunately, the awful torturous mistreatment our son received at the hands of the North Koreans ensured that no other outcome was possible beyond the sad one we experienced today."
They said they were choosing to focus on the time they were given with their "warm, engaging, brilliant" son instead of focusing on what they had lost.
The University of Virginia student was held for more than 17 months and medically evacuated from North Korea last week. Doctors said he returned with severe brain damage, but it wasn't clear what caused it.
Parents Fred and Cindy Warmbier told The Associated Press in a statement the day of his release that they wanted "the world to know how we and our son have been brutalized and terrorized by the pariah regime " and expressed relief he had been returned to "finally be with people who love him."
He was taken by Medivac to Cincinnati, where he grew up in suburban Wyoming, OH. He was salutatorian of his 2013 class at the highly rated high school, and was on the soccer team among other activities.
Ohio's U.S. senators sharply criticised North Korea soon after his release.
Republican Sen. Rob Portman of the Cincinnati area said North Korea should be "universally condemned for its abhorrent behaviour." Democratic Sen. Sherrod Brown of Cleveland said the country's "despicable actions...must be condemned." Portman added that the Warmbiers have "had to endure more than any family should have to bear."
Three Americans remain held in North Korea. The U.S. government accuses North Korea of using such detainees as political pawns. North Korea accuses Washington and South Korea of sending spies to overthrow its government.
At the time of Warmbier's release, a White House official said Joseph Yun, the U.S. envoy on North Korea, had met with North Korean foreign ministry representatives in Norway the previous month. Such direct consultations between the two governments are rare because they don't have formal diplomatic relations.
At the meeting, North Korea agreed that Swedish diplomats could visit all four American detainees. Yun learned about Warmbier's condition in a meeting a week before the release. Yunthen dispatched to North Korea and visited Warmbier June 12 with two doctors and demanded his release on humanitarian grounds.
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If you're in the UK, chances are you're having trouble staying awake today, because last night was an absolute scorcher and you probably spent most of it tossing and turning. #TooHotToSleep has been trending on Twitter all morning, with non-sleepers complaining about the heat in the form of some hilarious memes.
If the temperature reaches 30C again today and tomorrow, it will be the first five-day heatwave for 22 years. The weekend saw highs of 32.1C, with many of us still nursing our sunburnt skin and Pimm's-induced hangovers.
While there's no concrete definition of "heatwave", it's usually taken to mean a prolonged period of abnormally hot weather. “Heatwave is a funny term – we don’t really have a definition of it in the UK," said Emma Sharples, a spokeswoman at the Met Office.
She added: "But none of us can deny it has been a prolonged period of hot weather, and night-time temperatures have been quite unusually high, which can also be the cause of potential health problems, as well as a lot of restless nights,” the Guardian reported.
Public Health England has even issued a hot weather warning, prompted by reports from the Met Office that the hot weather will stick around until Thursday. "For the majority of people it is about common sense - staying cool, drinking plenty of water to maintain hydration, and avoiding sunburn," it said, reminding us to look out for vulnerable groups, including those with underlying heart and lung conditions, older people, babies and young children.
Wednesday (21st) or Thursday (22nd) could even end up being the hottest day of the year, with predictions that the south of England could reach 34C, reported the Guardian.
The meteorology behind all this? An air mass coming from the tropical parts of the Atlantic, specifically around the Azores islands, and France and Spain's recent scorching conditions being pushed northwards, are reportedly the cause.
Good luck sleeping tonight. You may already be dreading it, but at least you're not alone.
When I was gifted my first pair of maternity leggings, it was a hand-me-down from one of my most well-styled friends. The one who always had shoes to go with her bag, and earrings that matched her hand-scape — and everything always looked new. "You're never going to want to take them off," she promised. I think sending them halfway across the country to me was the only way she could be sure she'd finally stop wearing them.
I’m not saying my friend has “let herself go” (because, first of all, that phrase can F off). But she has definitely calmed down with the boutique-trolling, and instead finds a cute item here and there while shopping at Target, for her family. A mum myself now, I can understand that shift in priorities. If any of us has slacked in the self-styling department after kids, it isn't because maternity panties hold the secret to true lusty appeal, and leggings are the best pants. And it’s not because we want to look the part — like a martyr who is generally a disaster.
It's because money. And time, too. And not feeling we have enough of either, nor the right to use them the same way we did before.
Fashion resale site ThredUp released statistics today around women's shopping habits across the country, and its survey found a whole lot of "mum guilt." Mums are 48% more likely than non-mums to feel shopping guilt, and two out of three mums reportedly feel it.
"Not to be such a psychologist about it," says Jessica Zucker, PhD, who is indeed a psychologist specialising in maternal health, "but to me these numbers are kind of troubling, because it seems that it's more of an identity crisis than it is a simple matter of buying stuff. Women are having difficulty knowing how to best take care of themselves in the midst of new motherhood."
It's not hard to understand how we'd get there: Why would I buy myself pants with hems and pockets and a zipper, in a style that's probably only going to last another two months, when they cost as much as about three months' of diapers? (Even if I can afford both.) Plus, that tent-y trapeze dress I wore for the last month of pregnancy two years ago still fits...it’s just a little more tent-y now.
I'd like to remind mums that even though there are endless responsibilities and things that now come 'before' them, it's just as important to take care of themselves as before.
Along with the survey, ThredUp has released a campaign of videos called "Splurge Responsibly," which show its site as the cure-all for this calculus. This is the jumpsuit that brings your sexy back. You can wear those stretch pants ev-er-y-where, promises another.
It's not just "an excuse" that mums are lacking. It's time. The majority of women look at an item of clothing multiple times before clicking buy, but ThredUp found mums are twice as likely as non-mums to look at something five or more times before purchasing it. Raise your hand if you know a mum who can spend five times as long shopping than before she had kids.
"We were surprised to see just how much stress and indecision mothers in particular feel when deciding to buy something for themselves," says ThredUp head of brand Jenna Bray.
For me, the single biggest lifestyle change has been the end of that certain kind of spontaneity that often found me shopping just because. The momentary decision to walk the long way home, and maybe stop in a store I happened upon, and maybe spend two hours and a couple bucks there, is just not possible — for me, as a working mum, right now.
But it's not just me, is it? ThredUp found that 70% of mums shop less impulsively than they did before having kids. (Dr. Zucker points out the very obvious reason for shopping less, and less impulsively, which is the mounting expenses you never had to worry about pre-kid. Sometimes the choice literally is between diapers and a for-fun new outfit, and in that case the choice isn't one at all.)
If every purchase has to be planned and considered and mulled over five times as I weigh whether or not I deserve it, or if I deserve it more than my daughter deserves that block of time with me or a bump in our savings for her future, I’m probably not going to make many purchases. It’s just harder to convince myself that it’s okay.
But motherhood shouldn't be a maze in which we lose ourselves, says Dr. Zucker. "I'd like to remind mums that even though there are endless responsibilities and things that now come 'before' them, it's just as important to take care of themselves as before — if not more. If we don't tend to ourselves, we're not going to have much to give."
It's not as if we have to shop for ourselves for the sake of our kids, but it's at least worth trying to shake off some of the unhelpful feelings when we want to click buy. And that friend of mine? She never asked for those leggings back, and still looks cool-girl great, scummy mummy sweatpants and all. I can only hope she wears them guilt-free.
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In 2017, the negatives of social media might just outweigh the positives. You will have listened to and read about and observed for yourself the myriad complaints about the detrimental effect it is having on our lives. Many now blame the likes of Facebook, Instagram and Twitter for the increase in procrastination, low self-esteem, and various mental health issues.
But like a moth to a flame, we keep getting sucked back into the alluring matrix of likes, swipes, shares, reposts, retweets, pokes, double taps and tags. I've tried time and time again to reduce my screen time but the sheer habit of scrolling through my phone, coupled with the fear of missing out on other people's fun, throws my willpower out the window.
Based in Oakland, California, developer and improv actor Dan Kurtz recognised the cycle of social media as "meaninglessness" and decided to create an app with a little twist: the unsocial social media app, Binky. Yep, you heard – an app that allows you to like, comment, swipe left and right to your heart’s content, with no social interaction whatsoever. Released in February, the app has already caught the internet's undivided attention, and has been downloaded more than 20,000 times in just a few weeks.
The unsocial feed is essentially an algorithm of random images ranging from duck-shaped courgettes to chips or a bookmark, with a simple descriptive caption. Nothing else, no liking or ‘binking’ back. Neither are you able to type your own comments under the images – the comments are pre-programmed and appear as you start typing, leaving you involuntarily writing #eyebrowsonfleek, #wholetthedogsout and whoompthereitis under a picture of a gecko. It is totally monotonous and yet extremely pleasurable – much like social media, minus the social anxiety.
"Binky demonstrates that the reason we scroll through social media is not because we want to keep up with the news or see photos of friends who are happier than us. We do it because we want to scroll through stuff on our phones," Kurtz told Mashable. Like a baby with a dummy, Binky distracts. It gives you something to do without you realising that you’re doing absolutely nothing.
Kurtz continues: “I don’t even want that level of cognitive engagement with anything, but I feel like I ought to be looking at my phone, like it’s my default state of being.” Preach. Binky gives us exactly what we're looking for, without the social complications. Sure, it might make you feel a bit of an idiot as you scroll and swipe through the infinite feed of arbitrary pictures. What the app does most successfully, though, is prove a point: that social media is a largely pointless addiction. Good one, Binky, good one.
From the moment the exit poll was revealed at 10pm on election night, the surprising surge in Labour support was attributed to a “youthquake”. Young people, galvanised by Corbyn’s youth-friendly manifesto and memeability, were responsible for the prime minister’s humiliating defeat, so the story went.
Naturally, once the celebratory hangovers wore off, we spent days patting ourselves on the back and basking in the glow of sweet (semi-) victory – but were we right to? Did as many of us actually head to the polls as everyone thought, or was youth turnout wildly overestimated? It was vastly underestimated after the EU referendum, after all, so maybe the so-called experts were overcompensating this time around?
Well, kind of, according to new data from pollster Ipsos Mori, which has published youth turnout figures for every general election since 1979. Just over half (54%) of all 18-to-24-year-olds cast their ballots – far from the estimate of 72% that was made early on, but still the highest level in 25 years.
This means that, of those young people who registered to vote, 64% actually voted – the highest youth turnout since 1992, when 67% of this demographic voted.
Turnout was similar among 25-to-34-year-olds, with 55% of all adults that age voting. Meanwhile, turnout among over-55s decreased slightly.
No surprises for guessing which party benefited from the surge in youth turnout. Ipsos Mori attributed the swing to Labour to under-45-year-olds, mainly those in the 25-to-34 age bracket.
Of the 18-to-24-year-olds who took to the polls, 62% voted for Labour, 27% voted Conservative, 5% voted Lib Dem, 2% voted for Ukip and 4% voted for other parties, BuzzFeed News reported. By contrast, the over-65s were similarly likely to back the Conservatives (61%). Ukip support declined among every age group.
The difference in party preferences between age groups means that age, not class, is now the defining indicator of party support. The gap between young Labour supporters and over-55 Conservative voters is now the biggest it's been since Ipsos Mori began collecting the data in 1979.
— Ben Page, Ipsos MORI (@benatipsosmori) June 20, 2017
There was also a gender element to the Labour "youthquake", with a huge swing for Labour and Corbyn among younger women (18 points) compared with younger men (3.5 points), reported the Guardian.
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When you bring a date somewhere, whether they're your partner of many years or your most recent Tinder match, it's natural to want to make your relationship appear picture-perfect. But sometimes you and your partner are just not there. While there's not exactly an opportune time to get into an argument with your S.O., when you start to fight right as your Uber is arriving to take you to a party or event, it kind of sucks. So what should you do: Go to the party mad or try to resolve the argument before you get there?
How you decide to handle the situation depends on the actual argument, but the most important thing to do in scenarios like this is to try to be levelheaded, says Goal Auzeen Saedi, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist. That means you may want to restrain from going to the party and sulking the whole time, or texting all your friends that your partner is a jerk (both of which can be very tempting).
"Ideally, it would help significantly to try to resolve concerns prior to arriving," Dr. Saedi says. If you're fighting about something small (for example, your partner forgot to pick up wine to bring to the party), then you should try to fix it before you get to the function. If you're pouting or stewing at the party, it won't be fun for you, and it'll be uncomfortable for everyone around you, too. "Tension can be quite palpable," Dr. Saedi says. So, if you can, figure it out or suck it up.
You might be tempted to tell someone at the party that you're in a fight, so they don't judge your behaviour, but that's not wise, either. "What's between a couple is between them," Dr. Saedi says. "Too many times, individuals poll the audience for advice and enter other people into their private business." Of course, if you really do need help from your friends and family to get through a rough patch, you should definitely ask for it, "but a public party is definitely not the venue for such heart to hearts," she says.
Putting on a happy face might seem like you're being fake, but Dr. Saedi says that's the most mature thing you can do. "It shows you can be an adult, compartmentalise, and be a courteous guest," she says. This isn't just about being polite and keeping up appearances, though, because being able to compartmentalise can be an important skill in a relationship, she says.
Let things percolate, process, and calm down.
That said, there are some arguments that you can't fix right away. In some cases, if you're having trouble working through heated emotions, then one of you or both of you should just stay home, Dr. Saedi says. "Let things percolate, process, and calm down," she says. Individuals process conflict at their own pace, which can be hard to grasp as a couple, but it's really important to remember that as you suss things out, she says. Spending a few hours alone might give you the clarity you need to figure out what you want, and how you're going to achieve it.
If you and your partner got into a heated fight or woke up some larger, dormant fight, then you probably shouldn't try to solve your issues before the party, or even later on that night, Dr. Saedi says. You've probably heard the saying, "don't go to bed angry," but the truth is that sometimes you should put arguments aside until you can address them with the right attention they deserve, Dr. Saedi says. "You don't want to superficially resolve the argument just so you can get over the discomfort," she says. "Maybe the disagreement was over something bigger that requires more attention." In that case, you and your partner might decide to wait until the morning after the party, when you're both feeling fresh, to talk things through.
The good news is, there's no reason to overthink the significance of the event, and oftentimes you can really just skip the whole thing if you don't feel like you and your partner are on solid footing, Dr. Saedi says. "Many times, we can build [events] up too much in our heads," she says. "I'd recommend the couple skip the event altogether and work things out between them, rather than have passive aggressive behaviours all night long."
And if you can't skip it? Hopefully, you and your partner can agree on one thing: You'll figure it out together — after the party.
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For seven years, the Syrian people have suffered under the weight of a civil war that evolved into a complex, vicious conflict. The war led to a widespread refugee crisis, and while the rest of the world seems to have fallen numb to the refugees' plight, the Syrian people still remember the loved ones they lost. And sometimes a way to do so is through a portrait's empty spaces.
Lost Family Portraits, by photojournalist Dario Mitidieri, shows Syrian refugee families alongside empty spaces representing the loved ones who have disappeared or died throughout the course of the war. CAFOD, the Catholic Church of England and Wales' aid agency, commissioned the project, and Mitidieri collaborated with the London-based creative agency M&C Saatchi to create the photo essay's concept.
Mitidieri traveled to refugee camps based in the Bekaa Valley of Lebanon, where he interviewed several families. Some of them had just arrived to the camp, while others had been there for a while. But the common thread was that every single family had lost multiple people throughout the war, either because their loved ones disappeared, died, or the families were forced to leave them behind when they fled the country.
"In Lebanon alone, there's 1.3 million refugees. One-third of the population is refugees from Syria," Mitidieri says. "But no one is talking about it. It's not news anymore. They were left behind."
He adds, "They have been forgotten. And so the intent of this project is to give them a voice."
There are 65.6 million forcibly displaced people in the world, according to the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees. About 22.5 million are classified as refugees, 5.5 million of which come from Syria. As of now, it doesn't look like the conflict in Syria will end anytime soon, meaning thousands more will likely be displaced.
"This massive number of displaced people – the worst since the UN started keeping its numbers – is made up of individual people who are caught in unthinkable circumstances and who have been forced to make the impossible decision to leave their homes behind to seek safety for themselves and their loved ones," Noah Gottschalk, Oxfam America’s senior humanitarian policy advisor, said in a statement provided to Refinery29.
He added, "These new numbers underscore that the global community must immediately offer stronger lifelines to these vulnerable people as they flee for their lives, and also work together to tackle the root causes of the problem. While the number of refugees who desperately need our help remains unacceptably high, President Trump’s administration, and many in Congress, seek to slam the door shut on refugees."
For Mitidieri, Lost Family Portraits is a way to make people remember there are currently millions of Syrian refugees spread throughout the world. They are unable to go back to the place they call home, and at the same time, it's impossible for many of their loved ones to flee the horror.
He said the subjects he photographed and interviewed "came forward, willingly, despite the fact that they're still afraid." Among the things they fear is the safety of the family they left behind, who might be harmed by the militant groups in the country or the Syrian regime.
"But despite all these fears, they decided to come forward to tell the stories because they want their stories to be heard," he says. "They don't want to be forgotten."
KHAWLE'S FAMILY
Khawle’s family arrived in the camp five months ago, leaving their grandmother, three brothers, and two sisters in Syria.
While escaping from the country, their bus was stopped and they were told to get out. They continued the rest of the journey on foot, but ran into some ISIS fighters. One of Khawle’s daughters has a learning disability and ISIS targeted her. They beat her so badly that she couldn’t move for days.
"Perhaps we might stay like this for the rest of our lives", says 44-year-old Khawle. "I don’t have anything to be happy for, just to live like this. I feel sad living here without all of my children."
Photographed by Dario Mitidieri.
MOHAMMED’S FAMILY
Just over a year ago, 55-year-old Mohammed was sitting in his living room with his family when a missile hit their home.
The missile’s shrapnel severely injured their eldest son. The family ran, but in the chaos, their son disappeared.
Mohammed hears from reports back home that his son’s injuries force him to behave extremely irrationally, including destroying his ID papers, essential for getting to safety.
The family lives on tenterhooks wondering whether the next communication about their son will be notification of his death.
Mohammed says, "I live with hope that one day soon the war will stop, and our family will be whole again."
Photographed by Dario Mitidieri.
RAZIR'S FAMILY
The family had to flee Syria after Razir’s husband was kidnapped and executed.
Razir, 40, didn’t have enough money to bring all of her children to safety, so she had to make the decision: Which two do I leave behind? With no other option, she left her two oldest girls.
The family hasn’t heard from the girls in seven months.
They now live in a tent no bigger than a single bedroom. Their only possessions are a blanket the size of a bath towel and the clothes on their backs.
Photographed by Dario Mitidieri.
SOURAYA'S FAMILY
Two years ago, Souraya’s husband told her to take their children and flee to Lebanon for safety. He knew that where they lived was too dangerous for the family. In the meantime, he stayed to look after their home and find work.
Five months ago, he had the money to join his 34-year-old wife and young children living in the camp, but was seriously injured when the bus he was traveling on was hit by a missile. He is still recovering in a hospital in Beirut.
Photographed by Dario Mitidieri.
KALILA’S FAMILY
Kalila’s husband, Ahmed, told her to leave Syria, as it was too dangerous for them to live there. He was forced to stay because of "security matters."
She took her children and fled for Lebanon.
“I want my voice heard," Kalila says. "We need basics here: food, winter supplies, and especially medicines for the children."
After the picture was taken, Ahmed reunited with the family and is now living with them in the Bekaa Valley.
Photographed by Dario Mitidieri.
ALI’S FAMILY
Two years ago, the home that 42-year-old Ali spent 10 years building, was hit by a missile.
Ali fled the country with his wife and children, but his mother, father, brother, and two sisters were left behind. He speaks with his family in Syria over WhatsApp, using a secret code, too frightened that their messages will be intercepted.
Photographed by Dario Mitidieri.
AMMOUNA'S FAMILY
When the bombardment intensified in her home town, Ammouna told the family it was time to leave. They took only what they were wearing.
The journey was a dangerous one – like so many others, they took a bus and the bus had to stop in the mountains bordering Syria and Lebanon. There, the family had to get out and walk, braving the dangerous territory where armed groups were fighting each other.
Ammouna worries about her father, who she left behind.
“I try to speak to him as often as I can, but it is difficult," she says. "Sometimes I can’t get a signal on my phone and other times we worry about what we say to each other in case someone is listening."
Photographed by Dario Mitidieri.
MAHMOUD'S FAMILY
Mahmoud’s young family had arrived in the camp just twenty days before this picture was taken.
Forty days before, they lost their beloved mother. The family had gone to the market to buy food, leaving the mother at home. When they came back, their home and everything in it had been reduced to dust, laid waste by a missile from a bombing raid.
The family misses her, and each of the children is suffering trauma after witnessing atrocities in their home country.
When asked about the future, the father says, "We have no future. We have nothing".
Photographed by Dario Mitidieri.
OWAYED’S FAMILY
Owayed’s family arrived in the camp six months ago, after traveling through snow-covered mountains for five days with very little food and water.
On the journey, they met a group of armed men. Owayed, 62, was forced to leave his four sons behind — one of whom is blind. The youngest has disappeared.
Owayed received WhatsApp messages from his sons regularly. Then one day, the messages went dead. He hasn’t heard from them since.
"It is not a life here. We do not live," he says of life in the camp. "We have safety, but this is no life."
Photographed by Dario Mitidieri.
SAHAR’S FAMILY
Sahar, 50, says before the war she lived "a good life, a simple life." Her husband had died and her children looked after her.
A year-and-a-half ago, Sahar was woken from her bed in the middle of the night by the sound of airstrikes. She woke her three children staying with her and managed to escape.
Her other six children were unable to leave. She hasn’t heard any news from them since.
"It breaks my heart not having all my children here," she says. "I cry all day thinking of them."
Photographed by Dario Mitidieri.
GHAZIEH'S FAMILY
Ghazieh’s husband was killed by missiles while she was shopping for food.
She knew it was unsafe to stay, so she ran with her children. But on the journey into the Bekaa Valley, they were trapped in the middle of several armed groups that were fighting.
After two days, there was a ceasefire and she took her children to safety in the camp.
"My home has been destroyed and I have lost my husband. It is so sad what is happening to Syria, but I ask that you think of us, you think of my children," she says. "We have come from danger, from bombs, from death, and we are safe. We are safe, but there is nothing for us here."
Photographed by Dario Mitidieri.
MOHAMMED’S FAMILY
Two years ago, 45-year-old Mohammed was celebrating the wedding of his daughter, when a missile hit the building they were in.
The family ran wherever they could, leaving everything behind, including their newlywed daughter. The family has heard no news of her, but they hope she's in Turkey.
"We have heard nothing since her wedding night," Mohammed says. "If I saw her today, I would ask her how she has been, what she has been doing, and what is going on in her life."
Photographed by Dario Mitidieri.
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You can't hold a good girl group down, and Fifth Harmony is proof of that. Though the group has whittled down from five to four young women (in December of 2016, Camila Cabello left the group to pursue a solo career), Fifth Harmony continues to be as strong as ever. The group's new single, a collaboration with Gucci Mane titled "Down," had their highest iTunes debut of their careers, and their upcoming third album is one that the entire group says they are thrilled to put out into the universe. Speaking with Refinery29 during a Facebook Live interview, the group explained that they didn't always have the confidence to control their careers — and that there were plenty of external pressures keeping them down. Fortunately, the group has been able to rise above the noise to create something pretty beautiful.
The girls of Fifth Harmony revealed that they felt a lot of pressure when they found themselves in the spotlight, and during the early days of their stardom sometimes felt that they had to go the road alone.
"I feel like, low-key, to a certain point, we were all going through it alone," Lauren Jauregui admits during the Facebook Live interview. "We were all in our own world, and also, the context of being in a girl group, it's kind of hard sometimes as well because the world pits you against each other whether you want to be or not."
"Everything was so beautiful until people have an opinion about you," Dinah Jane tells Refinery29. "Not only would people in your circle tell you, 'Oh, Dinah, you have to be this, you have to do this,' but for everybody to come into your bubble and say you're this, you're that, it's kind of, in a way, like a bully. But to stand beside three other girls and to know that they are going through the same thing, we were each other's crutch. At that time, I feel that we loved ourselves the hardest, and we took the time to be alone, and to shower ourselves with love. To know that we are worth more than what people are saying about us."
That's not to say that confidence came easy. Ally Brooke reveals she struggled with insecurity, despite being a member of a rising girl group. These days, however, she's more confident than ever:
"I'm more sure of who I am and for me to say that is a milestone for me, because I just struggled so much with insecurity and finding myself," says Brooke.
When asked how the girls work to advocate for themselves, Normani Kordei says it's all about sticking together.
"I honestly think it's unity," Kordei tells Refinery29.
"If we don't feel comfortable with something, we're united on that," adds Jauregui. "There have been moments when the label will want a certain song to be a single, and it's just not reflective of us, and it's just not who we are, and there's no way we can connect to that. We've had to fight at times, and we've had to be strong. We've had to put our foot down [and say] we're more than this, we're more than what you're trying to submit us to."
"At the end of the day, that's the mark that we're leaving," says Kordei. "It's [about] the last impression and the messaging that we want to leave to the rest of the world."
Check out the entire Facebook Live interview below:
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It's easy to tell people to ask for more: Demand what you deserve. Push until the other person gives you what you are due.
And there is wisdom in some of that — you rarely get what you don't ask for. But in practical terms, it's incredibly difficult to do. I don't see myself as a natural negotiator or someone who can comfortably push others until they bend. In my mind, a great negotiator is something of a bully. A strong person who intimidates and shoves their way into a "yes" is the person who excels in these scenarios. Since I'm not that person, I assume I'm at a natural disadvantage.
So, when I heard about Chris Voss, the former lead hostage negotiator for the FBI, who had a method that challenged all of my stereotypes about what "good negotiation" looked like, I suspected there might be a different path forward for me. Voss' book, Never Split The Difference, is a manual for getting your way through empathy rather than aggression.
I invited Voss to R29 to speak to the team about his negotiation tactics, and he shared that in the seminars he teaches, women almost always take to his method faster and better than men do. His theory about why: "Women are socialised — quote socialised — to be a little more emotional-intelligence aware, and also to lean a little more towards sympathy. And it’s a shorter step to empathy from sympathy if you’ve already got a little bit of a grounding in emotional intelligence than if you haven’t."
There are some generalisations underlying that idea, but it certainly ran true to my own experience. So, I asked Voss to break down the 10 easiest way for anyone to put his method to work. Some of what he suggests seems counterintuitive — and some of it, like the mirror technique, is surprisingly difficult to get right at first — but having seen it all in action now, I'm eager to master this method. It's likely not a fit for every personality, but it appeals to mine. And even if the whole method doesn't work for you, his controversial approach to saying sorry and his idea about seeking out a "no" rather than a "yes" are universally interesting — and certainly worth considering.
Calm Your Mind
The first issue to address is that pre-negotiation rising heart rate coupled with gut-twisting fear. To conquer it, Voss says, "Simply say to yourself as the negative possibilities crash through your mind: 'That’s a possibility.' It’s a simple recognition that causes the brain to interact with itself in a way that puts you back in control."
Voss tells a story of coaching a man in the Philippines through a negotiation with a kidnapper, to save his brother's life — a high-stress situation if ever there were one. He says, this man "knew his brother might not come out alive and it could well be beyond his control. He simply recognised that was a possibility — and he performed like a star. He saved his brother’s life. Not knowing at the time how he had been able to perform so well under pressure, I asked him about it later. He told me, 'I just said to myself, That’s a possibility, when I got scared that my brother might not come back to us. It calmed me down.'”
Check Your Listening Skills
Paraphrase/summarise what your conversation partner has said to you until they say “that’s right” ( not “you’re right”).
Stephen Covey’s guidance (from “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”) was: “Seek first to understand, then be understood”. Mr. Covey should have been a hostage negotiator.
How do we do it though… and why?
We do it by getting the other person to say “that’s right.” NOT “you’re right”.
“That’s right” is what someone says when they feel completely understood. “You’re right” is what we say to people we still like to get them to stop talking and go away. “That’s right” is their confirmation they feel empathy from you.
So, summarise the situation from their perspective and how they feel about it. Especially if we don’t like how they feel about it. Then go silent (Voss calls this an effective pause). Let them say “that’s right” and let empathy take its course.
Handle The “Yes” Trap
We all know “yes” is used to trap us; it’s every salesman’s routine. Get someone to say 3 little “yeses” (“confirmation yes”) then spring the trap with the big one (“COMMITMENT YES”). It’s also referred to as the “Yes Momentum,” “Momentum Selling,” and “Mere Agreement”.
Our pursuer is convinced if they can just get us saying “yes” we will be hypnotised / trapped / tied down and give them what they want. It’s one of the reasons that there are actually 3 kinds of “yes”: commitment, confirmation and counterfeit.
And “counterfeit yes” is the most frequent imposter of “commitment yes.” It might be in a tie for first place with “you’re right” as the most common form of false agreement.
To avoid the "yes" trap, try handling the conversation like this:
Respond: “If the answer is ‘yes’ - where is this going?”
As always, a polite, gentle tone of voice is how you deliver your words to your listener.
Understand The Value Of “No”
“No” is protection. “Yes” is commitment. “No” instantly makes people feel safe while “yes” creates hesitation. It makes people worry about what they might be committing themselves to.
Your “yes-oriented” questions (“Do you…? Would you…?”) can simply be flipped by changing the beginning to something like:
“Is it ridiculous…..?”
“Would it be horrible…?”
“Is it a bad idea….?”
“Have you given up on…?”
“Have you given up on this project?” is the 1-line email that is solid gold. (Make sure you’re ready for a quick answer!)
“Is it ridiculous for you to come speak at the negotiation course I teach at USC?” got Jack Welch to stop dead in his tracks and give me his personal assistant’s contact information so we could try to make the calendars sync up.
“Would it be horrible if we sat in this section?” is the question I asked a waitress when members of our group were trying to get into a roped-off section of a restaurant. We’d just come out of a conference and only wanted a Happy Hour drink and all the seating was gone. She said: “Not as long as you’re out of here by 6.”
“Is it a bad idea….? was used by a negotiator to reword an option a counterpart had been resisting. “No it wouldn’t be” – and the deal was made.
Put An End To Yelling & Shouting
“I can’t hear you when you yell at me.”
These were the words of a hostage negotiator talking to a hostage taker on the phone during a prison siege. After it was repeated in a calm fashion 3 times, the hostage taker stopped yelling.
Anger is a power tool. It’s often a tool a manipulation and dominance. It’s meant to make you listen. But what happens when the user feels it’s backfiring? They stop to rethink.
This works with interrupters as well. “I can’t hear you when you’re interrupting me.”
These are forms of an “I” message – the principal tool for setting boundaries against bad behaviour. Therapists, psychologists and hostage negotiators all use “I” messages in various form to limit unproductive and manipulative verbal conduct.
The calm, even soothing tone of voice is an essential element. Calm is contagious. It displays poise and confidence.
Turn The Mirror On Bluffers
How do we uncover bluffing, protect ourselves, and not cause anyone to lose face?
A “mirror” is repeating the last 1-3 words the counterpart has just said. Repeat word-for-word as a question. This means your voice needs to inflect up as if you’re asking a question.
This is not mirroring the counterpart’s demeanour or tone of voice. It is repeating the exact 1-3 selected words, with a genuine questioning tone of voice, word-for-word. Then go silent. (Don’t ask “Have I got that right?”)
The Jedi mind trick here is that people will reword what they’ve just said. You’re just encouraged them to go on and you’ve done it in a way that begins to subtly shift their approach (favourably) to you. Their rewording and delivery will give you what you need to know: When they are just bluffing, they will soften their stance with both rewording and lengthening (the Pinocchio Effect).
If it’s not a bluff, they’ll be concise.
Full disclosure: The first few times you do this you’ll feel awkward!
Don't Be Afraid Of "Sorry"
“I’m sorry. That doesn’t work for me. I want us to succeed.”
“I’m sorry” is a phrase that women are often criticised for using too much. There's nothing wrong with it. It's a matter of sequencing. Its strategic intention is to soften the delivery of bad news, or to be nurturing. It’s just a matter of timing. The most effective way to use it is at the beginning of a statement.
“I’m sorry, I can’t do that. I want us to succeed.”
“I’m sorry, that doesn’t work for me. I want us to succeed.”
The best way to deliver bad news is to give the receiver a slight moment to brace themselves and then deliver it. Then, make a statement that shows a continuing regard for the relationship yet doesn’t commit you to anything other than being willing to work collaboratively.
Embrace—& Appreciate—The Grey Area
We love “yes” so much – and fear “no” so much – that we are often a hostage to both. The real negotiation is in the space between “yes” and “no.” And it’s not antagonistic to explore it.
The way to do that is to respectfully clarify and ask for context using a "label." A label begins with the words “It seems like….” “It sounds like…” “It looks like…” “It feels like…”.
There an intentional simplicity to the word choice. The label is designed to be an observation, not an accusation. It’s also designed to provoke a thoughtful response from your counterpart. (It’s not: “What I’m hearing is…”). Here are some examples:
“It feels like you got a real vision for this.”
“It seems like you know where you want this to go.”
“It sounds like I may be answering without having all the relevant facts you have.”
“It looks like there’s more here than meets the eye.”
Know How Far To Push
“How am I supposed to do that?”
This phrase, said gently and respectfully, may be one of the single most effective ways to find out how far to push. The secret to gaining the upper the upper hand in a negotiation is giving the other side the illusion of control. This is one of the key phrases that does that.
It works for two reasons: For one, people love to be asked almost any how questions. It gives them the opportunity to impart their “wisdom.” Secondly, the design of this phrase actually makes them take a good look (maybe even “fair-minded”) at your situation to see your challenges. It’s a form of inducing empathy into the situation to your advantage.
The vast majority of the time, if they can offer you a concession or other alternative, they will introduce it here.
If they can’t they will respond with something close to “If you want an agreement, you’ll do it.” If they haven’t said this yet, continue to reintroduce this phrase until they do.
Then, you’ve actually reached you goal because you’ve pushed as far as possible and you’re still talking. No one has gotten mad and stormed off.
Try The “Oprah” Rule
People don’t tend to remember things as they happened. Rather, they remember the most intense moment and how it ended. This means that the last impression is the lasting one. It's even more important than first impressions.
Cindy Mori, Oprah Winfrey’s booking producer of over 17 years, says a cardinal rule of the show was to always make sure every guest left feeling happy, valued, and respected. When people take parting shots, or have to have the last word (negative) after someone else has had their last word (negative), it seeds the next conversation with negativity.
As a hostage negotiator, I’d been involved with several major sieges where we completely turned a negative dynamic around by making sure we ended each conversation on a positive note. For great long-term relationships, like Oprah (and Cindy Mori), end positively.
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Dalya Zeno was 13 years old when she moved to the US with her mother from war-torn Syria in 2012. They joined her two brothers who were already living in Los Angeles, and Zeno began adjusting to life as a newly American teenager.
Now at 18, she's graduated from high school and just finished her first year of college at Pasadena City College outside L.A.
On June 26, a documentary chronicling Zeno's high school life as a Syrian refugee in California will premiere in the US (UK release TBC). Dalya's Other Country offers a glimpse at what the past few years have been like for Zeno and her family. Ahead of the documentary's release, we chatted with her on World Refugee Day about moving to the US, going to a Catholic high school, and how she feels being a Muslim refugee in America's current political climate.
What's it like going to a Catholic school and wearing a hijab? In the documentary, it says you were the only student wearing a hijab.
Honestly, at the beginning, I didn’t want to go because I was so afraid that I would stand out even more than I would stand out in a public school.
I was very nervous about that…but throughout the years, I loved going to this Catholic high school. I learned so much and I loved it. It honestly taught me a lot, and it made me become more open minded coming here. I loved learning about someone else’s religion and the way of living. I went to church with them every week, and it was a very interesting experience. I'm only 18, but it's one of the best experiences of my 18 years.
Photo: Anne Etheridge
Were you able to make friends pretty quickly?
The first year, I was very awkward — I personally was awkward, because I was afraid. I was afraid of coming to this new life and adjusting and changing so suddenly … I’m really a social person, but not when I first came here because I was afraid. But then slowly, by my sophomore year, I started getting closer with people, and by my junior year, we were all like family.
Was there anything you did or told yourself to help get over the fear?
My way of fitting in and trying to make friends is me trying to be on everyone’s level. So, because I didn’t live here my whole life, I came here and I felt like I had so much to catch up on, plus make new friends. So I was like: Okay, you have to make like three times the effort my other peers are doing.
I joined sports, and music, and I did ceramics. These things are unconsciously me trying to fit in and kind of being like everyone else.
Is there anything you really miss about Syria?
I definitely miss my family, and I feel like there, my life was more stable because I came here so suddenly. Now my life is definitely stabilising a lot, and I love it here, but I think I was just so used to life there. I was born there; I lived there my whole life. I miss my friends.
Life there was kind of easy. [Here] you’re always working, you’re always doing something, you have no time. Time goes by so fast. But there, it wasn’t like that. You would go out, and the day would go by so slow because you’re having a lot of fun — you’re comfortable.
What do you want to do now that you're out of high school?
I want to do architecture ... The place I lived my whole life is kind of falling apart and being destroyed. I can't contribute in any way to that because I can’t stop the war. But I think one of the ways I can contribute is by being an architect and maybe rebuilding it one day — going back and rebuilding it. Perhaps it's a big dream.
I also wanted to ask you a little bit about politics, because I know you touch on it in the documentary. How did you feel during the 2016 election, when now-President Trump first proposed banning Muslims from entering the US?
When he was first running for president, I honestly didn’t think he was going to win whatsoever. I kind of like thought it was a joke, honestly. I didn't take it seriously at all.
But when he actually became president, I was like: Oh my god, this is getting real, and I don’t know how this is happening. So, I was a little bit fearful. But after his election, I saw so many Americans, especially minority groups, standing up with each other and saying “no” to the muslim ban, for example, and all these things that he’s doing and asking for.
You’re always going to have people standing by you, and that brings a lot of comfort for me.
If given the chance, what would you say to President Trump about his travel ban?
It’s obvious why I’m against it, but also, if I wasn’t blessed with American citizenship, I would have been in the place of these people. I have family here, and I wouldn’t have been able to visit them and come here. People are coming either to visit or even to seek refuge, and you’re banning these people who are seeking refuge, not what [you] call "terrorists."
Terrorists will make their way into anywhere. Terrorist are not just going to come from these countries. To me, it’s really unrealistic. You’re only banning the people who don’t have access to anything.
Is there anything you wish Americans knew about refugees moving here from places like Syria?
These are just people seeking refuge, and seeking a better life, and running away from terrorism that is going on in their country. These are people that feel so alone.
These are just normal people, and what happened to them was so sudden, and that can happen to anyone.
With anti-Muslim sentiment reaching frightening levels, it's more important than ever to see counterexamples of the Islamophobic stereotypes we've been taught. And one of the most well-known celebrities who shatters stereotypes about Muslims is Zayn Malik, who is half-Pakistani and half-British. In an interview with Evening Standard, he talked about what the religion he was raised with means to him and how it's shaped his experiences.
"I take a great sense of pride — and responsibility — in knowing that I am the first of my kind, from my background," he said. "I’m not currently practicing but I was raised in the Islamic faith, so it will always be with me, and I identify a lot with the culture. But I’m just me. I don’t want to be defined by my religion or my cultural background."
His background has, however, influenced people's perceptions of him. He believes, for example, it's led airport security to be more suspicious of him. "The first time I came to America, I had three security checks before I got on the plane; first they said that I’d been randomly selected, and then they said it was something to do with my name, it was flagging something on their system," he said. "Then when I landed, it was like a movie. They kept me there for three hours, questioning me about all kinds of crazy stuff. I was 17, my first time in America, jet-lagged off the plane, confused. The same thing happened the next time too."
Zayn's girlfriend Gigi Hadid, who is half-Palestinian, has also spoken out against Islamophobia by protesting Trump's travel ban with a sign reading "we are all humans." Her sister Bella told Porter magazine that this issue hit "very close to home" because their father came to the US as a refugee. "I am proud to be a Muslim," she said.
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