The first time I left the house after my daughter was born, she was six days old. Everything was scary. Putting her tiny weird bendy body into the car seat and then strapping said car seat into the car felt like the worst thing I could possibly be doing. Pre-baby, I’d never given much thought to cars, but now I saw them for what they really were: two-tonne metal death vessels.
We got to the supermarket and began the rigmarole of removing her from the car seat, folding her into the sling, my partner supporting me as I hobbled to the front doors (nothing says 'I just gave birth' like that John Wayne walk, amirite?). As I leant against the trolley, feeling a slug of blood pool in my maternity knickers, I heard a faint cawing from behind me. I glanced round and the squawking got louder until two old women descended upon me, pulling back the fabric of the carrier to get a good look at baby’s face.
"TINY!" they shouted. "VERY SMALL!"
"She is tiny, yes," I said. "Very small."
"WEIGHT!"
"6lb 9," I stuttered.
"HOW OLD!"
"Six days."
"LOVELY!" The first old lady slapped my husband on the arm. "BETTER GET STARTED ON BABY NUMBER TWO THEN!"
Five weeks later, I was in the doctor's surgery and my GP was poking my child’s scrawny legs. "Perfect," she said. "Now. Contraception. Pill? Patch? Have you thought about the implant?"
"Not really," I said weakly, wondering whether to remind her that she’d literally just examined my stitches. "I’m n-"
"You know I have four children," she told me confidentially, "and I always found the best way to get over a traumatic birth is to have another baby."
What is it with other people’s obsession with women who have procreated, procreating further? There’s an urgency to their encouragement; strangers, friends and family alike, they’re all at it, all certain that women who have had a baby need to have another baby, like, yesterday.
As someone who is one-baby-down-no-plans-for-another-one-just-yet-thank-you-very-much, please allow me to break down all the reasons why asking anyone when they’re going to have their next baby is pretty insensitive.
Firstly, there’s the fact that having a baby isn’t easy. Getting pregnant in the first place can be incredibly hard for lots of couples, and in some cases, if a woman has suffered a miscarriage or has endured multiple rounds of IVF to fall pregnant, her emotional strength may be severely depleted after one baby. I heard a fellow mum’s voice break at playgroup once when someone mentioned having another. "It took me quite a while to get him here," she said, looking at her son, "and I just want to enjoy him now."
In fact, pregnancy itself puts such an enormous physical and emotional demand on women’s bodies that the president of the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists recommends leaving a minimum of 24 months between pregnancies (not between children) in order to give new mothers sufficient time to recover.
Oh, and then there's the childbirth. It is estimated that in the UK, each year around 20,000 mothers are left with PTSD after giving birth. Secondary tokophobia – the fear of giving birth again due to a previous difficult childbirth – is a real thing. It isn’t an especially pleasant undertaking for anyone, so there’s a fairly high chance that the random woman you accost on the street about 'baby number two' isn’t much interested in repeating the experience any time soon. Even women who have straightforward pregnancies, births and postnatal experiences are owed some privacy and a bit of time to ease themselves into motherhood.
In spite of the nine months you get to prepare, becoming a mum forces you to take on an entirely new identity. For most people, it’s an incredibly difficult adjustment. Over 10% of mothers experience postnatal depression and with cuts to services, the number of visits new families receive from health visitors has been dramatically stripped back, leaving very few opportunities for diagnosis and help.
Though raising children can be a wonderful experience for lots of people, it isn’t for everyone, and for whatever reason, some parents may choose to stop at one. Contrary to myths perpetuated by Victorian pseudo-science, only children do just fine. Actually, studies show that only children can have higher levels of creativity – which will come as a relief to those of us for whom having another baby is simply not an option financially.
Money is another hugely sensitive issue when it comes to having more kids. "You’re meant to look after them for how long?? And it’s going to cost us HOW much?" were a couple of things that went through my mind when I read this report which reckons that the cost of raising a child over a 21-year period will top £200,000. No matter what your mum says about "babies just needing love and somewhere warm to sleep", never forget that babies turn into teenagers and Nikes aren’t cheap.
Then, of course, there are those people who are choosing not to have second or third children – and some who are choosing to opt out of childrearing altogether – on account of the serious implications for the planet of having multiple kids. Environmental experts are pleading with parents to think of the long-term impact of having a third or fourth child, given the carbon emissions that each person accrues in their life.
Basically, what I mean is, there's a huge number of reasons why someone isn't ready or doesn't want baby number two. And, depending on the circumstances, encouraging them to "get on with it" can be at best annoying, at worst, deeply upsetting.
In the meantime, the other day I accidentally stumbled across my perfect response to people whose lives are so boring that they care about my ovulation patterns. "She needs a brother or sister," an unnamed family member commented. "She obviously loves babies." My daughter does love babies, it’s true. Her first word was "baby" and she goes into absolute meltdown mode whenever she sees anyone under the age of 12, screaming "BABYBABYBABY" in their faces.
But in one of those beautiful moments that I spend most of my life dreaming of, the clapback just fell out of my mouth. "She does love babies," I agreed, "but… she loves attention more." I held my hands out in an imaginary scale. "Sibling... Attention... Sibling... Attention. I think she’d pick attention." And unlike a sibling, you can’t argue with that.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Women’s March activists and their partners have decided it’s time for some “good trouble.” An estimated 1,000 women have gathered in D.C. today for an act of “mass civil disobedience” at the seat of power to protest protest the federal government’s policy of family detention for asylum seekers and immigrants.
The protestors, who dressed in white, marched from D.C.’s Freedom Plaza this morning to the Department of Justice where they held a sit-in, are calling for immediate reunification of families who were separated at the border under President Trump’s “zero tolerance” policy, as well as the end to all family detention and the criminalisation of undocumented immigrants and asylum seekers.
Organisers say that people have traveled from 48 states, and many of them have never engaged in a protest like this before. Some were trained in non-violent civil disobedience training Wednesday night, according to the Women's March twitter account. Before the march, Congresswomen Nydia Velasquez and Pramila Jayapal rallied the crowds with speeches. According to Women's March co-president, Bob Bland, the protest came together over the past week.
— Rep. Nydia Velazquez (@NydiaVelazquez) June 28, 2018
The zero tolerance policy, announced by Attorney General Jeff Sessions in April, requires the criminal prosecution of anyone who enters the U.S. illegally. Migrant families were separated as a result of the policy, but after intense backlash, Trump signed an executive order to keep migrant families together. But activists say the current executive order doesn’t do much to remedy the problems; at least 2,000 children are still being held in detention centres, some many states away, from their parents. “All the order says is that instead of separating families, instead of putting parents in one cage and children in another, he would keep them together indefinitely in detention, ” Ana Maria Archila, 38, co-executive director for the Center for Popular Democracy, tells Refinery29 via phone after speaking to the crowd in front of the DOJ. "The zero tolerance policy is still in effect."
Archila adds that as a mother to two children aged 3 and 6, and as an immigrant herself , who came to the U.S. more than 20 years ago from Colombia, she was moved to act. "There are children as young as my children in a detention centre in my home city of New York right now. I want to make sure this is a home for everyone where people are able to live a life of dignity. I want to make sure my children know that when evil was happening I did whatever I could."
Yesterday a federal judge in California ordered the end to family separation as well, on top of ordering that all families be reunited within 30 days, with a status hearing set for July 6.
Activists say that there are still too many questions about how exactly families will be reunited as the administration hasn't released specific plans. They also say that beyond the specific issue of family detention, they are protesting the broader immigration enforcement apparatus that criminalises undocumented people. "This has been going on for a long time, but we are now at a moment where people are starting to see what immigration enforcement looks like in this country. It looks like people in cages, babies in cages crying out for their mothers," Archila says. "This is a turning point. All of these women from across the country, of all backgrounds, are here to say: This is not who we want to be, and we will put our bodies on the line to change it."
— Kerri Evelyn Harris (@KerriHarrisDE) June 28, 2018
Among the demands of the protestors is the abolishment of US Immigration & Customs Enforcement, or ICE, the government agency founded in 2003 to enforce the detainment and deportation of undocumented people.
"We want to draw the connection between this family separation, and all forms of family separation," says Bob Bland, co-president of Women's March, Inc., which grew out of the 2017 Women's March on Washington. "When we talk about family separation we're not just talking about the 3,700 children currently separated from their parents over the zero tolerance policy. We are referring to the Muslim ban. We reject separating people in those countries from being able to be with their families here. We are referring to all of the Black and brown families that have been separated by our unjust criminal justice system."
As of press time, protesters were moving into the Atrium of the Hart Senate Office Building. No arrests have been made so far, according to the Metropolitan Police Department.
After a few restless nights without sleep this week (and having tried everything from meditation to yoga), I was ready to do almost anything to get a full night of rest. So when a friend told me that she swore by a particular breathing technique, I was immediately up for it.
Her tried-and-true method, the 4-7-8 breathing technique, is theoretically as simple as it sounds: You breathe in for four counts, hold your breath for seven, then exhale for eight counts, and repeat until you fall asleep. The idea is that it relaxes your body, and is especially helpful if you're awake because you're anxious (hi, hello).
That might work for some people (like my friend), but it's not always that simple. Jason C. Ong, PhD, associate professor in the Department of Neurology at the Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine, says that while there isn't hard evidence that they work, breathing techniques, deep breathing in particular, are meant to get your body to calm down and move into a resting state.
"Usually when we take a deep breath, it stimulates the diaphragm, and that actually sends signals to the parasympathetic nervous system to turn off that fight or flight system," he says. The parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for the bodily functions that are at use when you're relaxed — like when your heart slows down and your muscles relax.
"This relates to insomnia and sleep because a lot of what seems to cause insomnia, especially chronic insomnia, tends to be this over-activation of the stress response system, meaning the fight or flight system," he says. When you're breathing deeply, your fight or flight system is turned off and Dr. Ong says that hypothetically makes it easier for you to fall asleep.
He also says that the 4-7-8 technique might be a distraction, which sometimes helps people fall asleep faster. After all, the harder you try to fall asleep, the less likely it is for sleep to come quicker.
"From that standpoint, if you can do something to reduce the effort to make that happen, that seems to have some psychological benefits," Dr. Ong says.
In practice, though, it's not a foolproof plan. For one thing, I found that it was harder than I thought to actually execute because I kept getting distracted, and having to hold your breath for seven seconds feels longer than you'd think. Either way, Dr. Ong says that a lot of the time, the effectiveness of a breathing technique may actually come down to the placebo effect.
"In terms of learning a trick to fall asleep, generally these things don’t work," he says. "Even if it works here and there, it’s because it just happens to work, no one knows why. It's like how if you gave people a sugar pill, a third of them would fall asleep, because of the placebo effect."
To be fair, the 4-7-8 breathing trick did help distract me from all the thoughts racing around in my head. I did eventually fall asleep, but because it still took so long, I think it had more to do with my body finally giving out than the actual technique. Sure, it wasn't a surefire trick, but who knows — it might work for other people, and in this news cycle, we're going to need all the help we can get.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
“So I’m on the dance floor minding my own business and then there it goes – the all too familiar feeling of a stranger’s hand creeping up the side of my jeans [...] and then the start of his dry conversation,” says Lynette Nylander in Common Misconceptions, a four minute film about sexual harassment in nightclubs, directed by Margot Bowman. The two friends identified strongly with an article they read in Rave Ethics on the subject – a zine created by Ursula Xanadu about the highs, lows, and misogyny of rave culture – and adapted it for film, which premiered this week at Sounds Like London, the music project between Boiler Room and London mayor Sadiq Khan spotlighting female talent and female experience in the industry.
The film is a refreshing, upfront portrait of the Saturday night gender gap and the multiple situations that girls have just gotten used to navigating for the sake of a night out. The line “Get the hint, I’m ignoring you on purpose” so perfectly sums up the experience – of having to stare intently at your friends while dancing, afraid of catching that creepy guy’s eye who’s lurking behind you with no friends of his own. Or having to pull out your phone and look down at the bar, even though that’s the worst way to get served, because otherwise that creepy guy will mistake your waiting to be served as you waiting to be chatted up.
Lynette and Margot identify these behaviours as ‘micro-aggressions’, but so often they escalate into macro-aggressions. When the girl in the film (written and narrated by Lynette) returns to the dance floor, she feels a hand on her back and hears a man's voice in her ear: “I’ve been watching you all night”. When she says she’s not interested, the voice changes tact “What you being a bitch for?” To which she replies “It would have been nice if you’d asked and not assumed I wanted my leg dry-humped”. It happens all the time.
Common Misconceptions is intended to educate those guys (and their friends) about how these so-called chat up lines actually feel for girls. “I want to be clear, approaching someone you like at a club is completely acceptable,” the films says, “just pick your moment”. Margot and Lynette want to emphasise that there are plenty of ways to respectfully approach someone you like in a club – "we wanted to bring the issue to light in a way that didn't feel preachy," Lynette told Refinery29, "but that felt like offering a solution – and begged for a bit of introspection before you act in that setting." It's the female voice rave culture needs.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
When you're a female consumer, you pay more than men do on products – from toys and clothing to beauty products. Toiletries, haircare and shower gel for women usually come with higher price tags and the same is true for shaving products. This practice used by retailers is commonly known as the Pink Tax — and we're not the only ones who think it's bullshit.
In the US, Billie is a subscription-based service that aims to put an end to ripping off women who shave. Billie mails reasonably-priced razors right to your door — Pink Tax-free, reasonably priced and with no extra shipping fees. Great if you live in America, but it is the grooming company's advertisements that are attracting attention worldwide.
From the beginning, the brand's ads never shamed women into being hairless from the neck down. And to make that message crystal-clear, it just launched a new campaign that actually shows hair, fuzz, and stubble — a first for an industry that typically features commercials of women shaving already smooth legs. Enter: Billie's Project Body Hair.
Photo Courtesy of Billie.
Directed and shot by photographer Ashley Armitage, Project Body Hair showcases beautiful images of women with hair, well, everywhere: underarms, legs, happy trails, toes, the mons pubis. For Armitage, who's long been fighting for better representation of women through her work, the partnership was a natural fit. In fact, the photographer has already made headlines in the past for her Instagram movement to embrace pubic hair. "The beauty industry has typically celebrated hairless, glossy, airbrushed women," says Armitage. "Our goal was to push against these stereotypes and not only show women with body hair but do it in a super beautiful and celebratory way."
Armitage chose a diverse cast of women — some who shave everything, some who shave nothing, and some who shave some parts and not others — to get real about what female body hair actually looks like. So where does a razor brand fit into all this? For Billie, it's about putting women first, and letting the product take a backseat. "However, whenever, if ever you want to shave, we'll be here," the brand writes. And that's just the way it should be.
Billie Project Body Hair
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Three things fashion loves: eccentrics, glamour and tragicomedy – that perverse play of humour and sadness cherished in the British (and camp) comedy canon. Grey Gardens has an abundance of all three, so naturally it has become an enduring cult classic among fashion folk. Released in 1975, the film was directed by documentary filmmakers and brothers Albert and David Maysles. It depicts the lives of Edith Ewing Bouvier Beale and her daughter Edith Bouvier Beale, or as they are more usually known, Big Edie and Little Edie. Fashion people who haven’t at least been to a fancy dress party where someone is dressed as Little Edie are few and far between.
Born into high society, the Edies were close relatives of American First Lady Jackie Kennedy Onassis (Jackie O) and her sister Lee Radziwill – Big Edie was their aunt, and Little Edie their first cousin. And it was during filming for a planned documentary about Lee’s life (which she was funding herself) that the Maysles brothers first visited the Bouvier Beale estate in the Hamptons. When they arrived at Grey Gardens, the Maysles realised they had discovered two of the most fascinating subjects a documentary maker could possibly hope to find.
Edith Beale as 'Eve'. Garden of Eden was missing but nothing daunted, Miss Edith Beale, daughter of Mr. & Mrs. Phelan Beale of New York, gave her version of Eve at the society fashion show at East Hampton.Photo by NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images.Edith Bouvier Beale (1917 - 2002), a cousin of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, at home with her cats in Grey Gardens, a run-down mansion in East Hampton, New York, circa 1975.Photo by Tom Wargacki/Archive Photos/Getty Images
Despite their rich and well-connected family history, the mother and daughter pair were almost completely isolated from the outside world and, surprisingly, were living in abject squalor. Surrounded by the faded trappings of their wealth and social status – from a commissioned portrait painting of Big Edie in her youth, to a dusty grand piano, and battered but ornate furniture – they also cohabited with dozens of semi-feral cats (and mountains of empty cat food tins), semi-domesticated raccoons, peeling wallpaper, piles of magazine cuttings, and mounds of couture. Living together in a world of their own creation, the Edies were a time capsule of manners, romantic expectations, culture and aesthetics. And they are also really, really funny.
They cohabited with dozens of semi-feral cats (and mountains of empty cat food tins), semi-domesticated raccoons, peeling wallpaper, piles of magazine cuttings, and mounds of couture
"But you see in dealing with me, the relatives didn't know that they were dealing with a staunch character, and I tell you if there's anything worse than dealing with a staunch woman, S-T-A-U-N-C-H," says Little Edie. "There's nothing worse, I'm telling you. They don't weaken, no matter what." From monologues on her temperament to stories of the rich suitors she rejected ("She had a proposal of marriage from Paul Getty...Remember Paul, the richest man in the world?"), Little Edie is a rare and fantastical bird. And never more so than when she gives an impromptu dance recital ("Do you think I'm gonna look funny dancing?" she asks the Maysles coyly. "I do terrific dances!") or models an extravagant costume change for the camera. "This is the best thing to wear for today, you understand," she says. "Because I don't like women in skirts and the best thing is to wear pantyhose or some pants under a short skirt, I think. Then you have the pants under the skirt and then you can pull the stockings up over the pants underneath the skirt. And you can always take off the skirt and use it as a cape. So I think this is the best costume for today."
Together with Big Edie – who can usually be heard in the film calling "Oh, Ediiiiie" to her daughter – the pair make a spectacular double act. "The cat's going to the bathroom right in back of my portrait," Big Edie says, while sitting in one of only three habitable rooms in the 28-room mansion. "God, isn't that awful?" Little Edie drawls absentmindedly. "No, I'm glad he is," Big Edie counters. "I'm glad somebody's doing something he wanted to do."
Despite the humour, there is a sadness that pervades the film. From Little Edie’s thwarted romances, to her plan to go to New York in the autumn ("I bet you one billion dollars you don’t go to New York next fall," Big Edie scolds), it’s clear that Little Edie feels trapped at Grey Gardens; and with the Maysles documenting a number of her breakdowns, people have accused the film of being exploitative.
The same accusation was levelled at Jennie Livingston’s Paris Is Burning, another cult documentary among fashion folk, which chronicles the (drag) ball culture in New York City in the late '80s, and the oppressed and impoverished lives of the African American and Latinx gay and transgender communities who took part. Both films take a subculture (of just two, in the Edies’ case), and allow us to inhabit their world. Fashion’s obsession with eccentric people – and people read as eccentrics due to their marginalisation – likely has something to do with its never-ending quest for the new. A central challenge for fashion people is to create something (a collection, an editorial, a campaign) that is as original as possible. (Especially in the age of copycat call-out culture à la Diet Prada.) And where do the most original, unexpected and non-derivative ideas come from? Often, true eccentrics. People who have been isolated in some way from mainstream culture, and so have radically different frames of reference. It is 'strangeness' as survival.
Photo courtesy of Portrait Films, 1975
Just as the discovery of the New York character and proto-street style photographer Bill Cunningham’s secret memoir sent a wave of excitement through the industry, so too did news of a second film about the women of Grey Gardens. Titled That Summer, the film is pieced together from archive footage shot by Lee Radziwill’s artist boyfriend Peter Beard in 1972, a few years before the Maysles shot Grey Gardens, and intended to be part of a documentary on the history of the Hamptons. Peter’s footage was thought to be lost, but when four reels showed up, he gave them to the Swedish director Göran Olsson – a master of editing, and director of The Black Power Mixtape 1967-1975 – to work into a new film.
Along with the four reels Peter shot at Grey Gardens, Göran acquired film by Andy Warhol showing the glamorous Studio 54 crowd, including Lee and Peter, Truman Capote, Mick and Bianca Jagger and others on the beach in the Hamptons at the same time Peter was filming there, and an audio interview with Lee Radziwill about that era recorded by Sofia Coppola. While the celebrity names give a sense of what was happening in the world outside of Grey Gardens at that time – the '70s pop culture history you already know – Big Edie and Little Edie are more fascinating still. Framed anew by the freedom of the holidaying artists, Little Edie’s life at Grey Gardens appears isolated, but also defiant. As Lee attempts to fix up their home to the standard expected by the Hamptons council, we see how disturbing the Edies find the intrusion into their way of life, which in many ways they are completely comfortable with. As Little Edie puts it, "I think any of us would be happy to have raccoons who look upon us as friends."
That Summer is in cinemas now. Find UK screenings via thatsummerfilm.com.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
The jackets were assembled in a factory in Alma, AR that was converted from a large restaurant. First the raw denim was washed in a drum filled with pumice stones and bleach, then it was cut and sewn into shape. From there, a basic stencil — a skyline or the outline of a cartoon character — was applied using a silk screen and then the delicate work of airbrushing and embellishing could begin. Children manned the rhinestone station. Using their small fingers, they dropped row after row of Swarovski stones into tiny fittings.
The working conditions were harsh. Bleach fumes billowed from the stone washing drum. Every day, up to 150 people — men, women, and children — worked for as long as 14 hours a day. Sometimes the children's fingers bled from handling the pointy rhinestones. The finished product was a genuine Tony Alamo of Nashville jacket. The workers who made them laboured for free in the service of a cult leader named Tony Alamo who preached that only he could show them the path to heaven.
The jackets were a hot fashion commodity in the eighties. Flashy and expensive, they were a favourite among celerities. Dolly Parton, Mike Tyson, Brooke Shields, Burt Reynolds — anybody who was anybody wanted to be photographed in one. Michael Jackson wore a customised leather version on the cover of the Bad album.
“We really thought we were making these jackets for God. We did it with zeal,” says Benjamin Risha, who was born into the cult and grew up on on the Alma, AR compound. “We really thought we were saving the world by making money for the ministry and spreading its word.”
Photo: Tom Wargacki/WireImage.
Today, the jackets, with their boxy fit, stonewash finish, elaborate airbrushed designs, and sparkling Swarovski crystals are having another moment in fashion. Tastemakers like Nikki Minaj, ASAP Rocky, Miley Cyrus, and Frances Bean Cobain have all recently been photographed wearing the highly sought-after vintage Tony Alamo of Nashville jackets.
People wore them then and wear them now because they are, let's admit it, awesome. But Alamo's factories ran on fear. He told his followers that if they left the church they would go to hell. Their path to salvation was paved in bedazzled denim.
Alamo's story begins in Joplin, MO, where he was born Bernie Lazar Hoffman on Sept. 20, 1934. He arrived in Los Angeles in the 1960’s with plans to become a pop star and music promoter. In LA he met an aspiring actress, a woman named Edith Opal Horn, who wore her hair in a bleached platinum bouffant. In 1966 they married and christened themselves Tony and Susan Alamo. The couple turned their attention away from mainstream fame, using the skills they’d honed as performers to become street evangelists in Hollywood.
In 1969, the couple founded the Alamo Christian Foundation.By the mid-seventies they had thousands of followers who referred to themselves as "Jesus Freaks" and were drawn to the evangelists’ fiery version of pentecostalism, which spoke of great miracles for believers and harsh punishments for those who didn’t follow the rules.
Photo: Jack Garofalo/Paris Match/Getty Images.
The Alamos targeted men and women living on the streets of L.A. They offered free meals and incorporated music into their spirited apocalyptic sermons, encouraging followers to forsake their families and devote themselves entirely to the foundation. They hosted a television show where they railed against Catholicism. They promised a passage to heaven for believers who, in exchange, took a vow of poverty and gave all of their property to church.
In the mid 1970’s as local CA authorities began to investigate the Alamo's practices, they moved their base of operations from Los Angeles to Arkansas. In 1982 they began a campaign to recruit young mothers as part of the foundation’ crusade against abortion. They promised to provide for the infants and young children by giving them a place to live and an education. In exchange, the Alamos received an influx of young minds raised in the cult who knew almost nothing of the outside world.
As the ministry — and the Alamo’s finances — grew, they established churches in cities including Miami, New York and Chicago. In Nashville they opened a worship centre and operated a large Country and Western store that became the flagship for their flashy denim jackets and had a celebrity clientele.
Alamo may not have succeeded as a promoter in Hollywood, but as a self-fashioned man of God who dressed in fancy clothes and drove expensive cars, he managed to integrate himself into celebrity circles. With calculation and a laser focus on profit, he made sure his custom wares — sharkskin boots, sequinned gowns, and, of course, his rhinestone jackets — were on full display wherever the most influential actors, politicians, and musicians happened to be. The magnetism that inspired such devotion to his followers worked in marketing as well as it did in religion.
In 1982, Susan Alamo died of breast cancer. Tony believed Susan would be resurrected and ordered followers to pray around her dead body for days. When she didn’t rise he grew furious, accusing his followers of not praying hard enough. Alamo reportedly then kept Susan’s embalmed body on display at the Arkansas compound for six months before finally interring her in a heart shaped mausoleum.
Photo: Jack Garofalo/Paris Match/Getty Images.
Risha identifies Susan’s death as the key event that caused Alamo to spiral even further out of control. He became more violent and paranoid. Risha recalls that, as children, he and a friend were beaten with a large wooden paddle for holding hands with girls on the commune. The beating was so severe that Risha’s 11-year-old friend fainted as Alamo’s followers continued to paddle his bruised, bloody, and unconscious body.
Alamo terrorised his followers, punishing them physically, emotionally, and sexually. Following Susan’s death, he declared that he was entitled to take as many wives as he wanted and he had a specific taste: teenage girls. He publicly and vociferously preached that the age of consent was puberty. He raped dozens of girls in the cult, some as young as 9 years old. At one point he had as many as 10 wives, all of them under 15.
With an unpaid work force (and unpaid taxes) Alamo created a financial empire worth at least £6 million. At its height, the Alamo Ministries operated as many as thirty businesses including trucking companies and real estate interests. He owned a popular nightclub in Alma where Dolly Parton performed and a young Bill Clinton once visited. Clinton described Alamo as “Roy Orbison on speed.” Meanwhile, while Alamo lived a flashy life of luxury, his followers worked at his various enterprises for up to 20 hours a day, were forced to scavenge food from dumpsters, and were only allowed to flush toilets on the commune only a few times a week to keep costs down and profits up.
Alamo told his followers that his protracted battle with the IRS was really a war against the devil. They believed him. And even as he was on the run from federal authorities facing charges of child abuse, tax evasion, and unfair labor practices, buyers continued to clamour for his custom designed jackets. In 1989 he gave an interview explaining how he faxed the designs from his various hideouts to the Alma factory. He told a reporter, "The clothing is so groovy, everyone wants it no matter what they think I am. No matter what, the superstars are going to want my jackets."
And he was right. TheLos Angeles Times reported that the jackets continued to sell for as much as £500 in Melrose Avenue boutiques and upscale clothing stores nationwide.
I guess I would tell people wearing them, once you know where they come from, to try to go out of your way to help people less fortunate.
The jackets were so core to Alamo’s fortune that Los Angeles Deputy Deputy District Attorney, Robert Foltz told the Los Angeles Times, "I think the real desire of the Alamo Foundation is to protect the clothing business and not some religious principle. A trial would bring even more publicity and affect the ability of him to market his products."
In 1994, Alamo was sentenced to six years in prison for failing to pay taxes to the federal government and wages to his employees. He served four years. The IRS seized assets from his properties in Arkansas, Saugus CA, and Nashville. They auctioned off hundreds of items including church pews, a director’s chair bearing the name Alamo, and hundreds of jackets. Many have since found their way to vintage stores and sites like eBay and Poshmark.
Photo: WENN.
Josh Glasser, a tattoo artist who currently collects and sells the jackets says he first became interested in them as a teenager growing up in Baltimore in the 80's. There he saw flashy drug dealers sporting them and wished he could afford one.
“They really are one of a kind pieces of art,” he says, though he’s aware of their complicated back story. Scrolling through his Instagram page, one can see how the attention to detail in the making of the jackets is echoed in some of Glasser’s intricate tattoo designs.
He explains that the prices he receives for the jackets on sites like eBay can vary. Some designs, like the Las Vegas and New York skylines were produced in fairly large numbers and don’t fetch as high a price. But the ones that were made in more limited quantities — there are jackets featuring illustrations of the Kentucky Derby, Gone With the Wind, and Batman, among others — are for more sought after.
Glasser says he’s seen an influx of interest in the jackets when celebrities were recently photographed wearing them. When Minaj was spotted in an Alamo jacket with an illustration of Barbie, demand went through the roof.
“The very rare ones are worth as much as $1,500 (£1,125) and the Barbie one will sell out in an hour if I put it on eBay," he said.
For Risha, who left the cult when he was 17, life has often been difficult. He's undertaken the hard work of years of therapy to cope with the complicated PTSD he suffers from his childhood in the cult. He speaks quietly and eloquently about his experiences and the years it has taken him to achieve some sense of clarity and peace. And he has a complicated relationship with the jackets and their resurgence in popularity.
When asked about them, he says “They do look awesome, right?”
Then he pauses.
“I guess I would tell people wearing them, once you know where they come from, to try to go out of your way to help people less fortunate. Go to a place where women are battered or children need help. If you can afford the jacket, chances are you can afford to go help somebody.”
Risha and some of the other survivors felt a measure of relief when Alamo died in a federal prison in 2017. He was 82 years old. He’d been convicted of transporting underage girls across state lines for sex, including a 9-year-old.
"Tony hated losing and would do anything to appear as a winner,” says Risha. While Alamo died a disgraced and bankrupt sex offender, there are still some who continue to follow his teachings. The website for the Alamo ministries remains active online. It features a photo gallery of celebrities wearing his jackets throughout the years.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Despite the horror lived by reporters and editors at the outlet, they still covered the shooting extensively and published an edition on Friday.
The victims were identified by the police as staff members Gerald Fischman, Rebecca Smith, Rob Hiaasen, John McNamara, and Wendi Winters. A fundraiser to help the victims' families and other staffers at the outlet has raised over $115,000 (£85,000) at the time of publication.
Ahead, a look at the lives of The Capital colleagues we lost.
Gerald Fischman, 61, was an editorial writer at The Capital. His colleagues said that his reserved personality went hand-in-hand with a brilliant and witty mind. He joined the news organisation in 1992, with coworkers saying his work was the conscience of the Capital.
"He had ability that, I thought, deserved a higher calling than The Capital," Tom Marquardt, a longtime editor and publisher at the outlet, told The Baltimore Sun.
Rebecca Smith, 34, was a sales assistant at The Capital. She joined the team last year, having previously worked for a healthcare organisation.
“She was a very thoughtful person,” Capital Gazette advertising director Marty Padden told The Baltimore Sun. “She was kind and considerate, and willing to help when needed. She seemed to really enjoy to be working in the media business.”
Smith leaves behind her fiancé and his daughter. In her Facebook profile, she talked openly about her battle with endometriosis and described herself "Dog Mom. Softball Fiance. Bonus Mom to the best kid ever."
Rob Hiaasen, 59, was an editor at The Capital. He was known for being passionate both about the reporting and writing process of journalism. Hiaasen was also a mentor for many young journalists, who mourned his loss. He joined The Baltimore Sun in 1993 and the Capital in 2010.
“He was a tall man, 6-foot-5, but he was a giant not just in stature but in character,” Maria, his wife of 33 years, told the Sun. “He was just the best husband.”
She added: "He loves words, he loves humour. He loved journalism, he loved helping those young writers at the Gazette."
Hiassen leaves also behind his children Ben, 29; Samantha, 27; and Hannah, 26.
John McNamara, 56, was a reporter and editor for The Capital. He was known for his love for and extensive knowledge of sports in the region.
“At a small paper like that, you have to be versatile,” former Capital Gazette sports editor Gerry Jackson, who first hired McNamara, told The Baltimore Sun. “He could write. He could edit. He could design pages. He was just a jack of all trades and a fantastic person.”
His colleagues also said McNamara was keen on mentoring young reporters. He leaves behind his wife Andrea Chamblee, whom he met while both attended the University of Maryland.
Wendi Winters, 65, was a reporter and editor for The Capital. Her colleagues remember her as a storyteller who was able to deeply connect with the community, who trusted her.
“My mother was a wonderful woman and a fantastic reporter,” her daughter Winters Geimer told The Baltimore Sun. “Her life was a gift to everyone who knew her and the world will not be the same without her. We are grieving and trying to make sure all of us can be together to celebrate the life of our mother.”
She joined the outlet full-time in 2013, after more than 10 years as a stringer. Before being a reporter, she build a career working in fashion and public relations in New York City.
Have you heard the news? Pete Davidson, Ariana Grande's newly acquired fiancé, "exudes big dick energy." Also known as BDE, big dick energy is a new name for an age-old concept. People who have big dicks, you see, are super confident. But they're quiet about it, because they don't need to show off. Their dick has them covered.
At least, that seems to be the working definition that people on Twitter have been using since a tweet about Davidson's BDE went viral. (It's a tweet he's all too happy to "confirm," btw). And, apparently, you don't need to have a big dick, or even have a penis at all, to have BDE. According to many on the internet, celebrities like Cate Blanchett and Rihanna have loads of BDE.
But what is BDE, really? Is it a real thing? And how much does it actually have to do with penis size? Read on to see what four sexologists think about BDE (spoiler alert: It's a real thing).
"Absolutely I believe in BDE. I've sniffed this out in men for many years, there just wasn't a term for Big Dick Energy 'til now.
"BDE is indicated by how a man carries himself, and the vibe he puts out. He's got a subtle, sexy confidence about him, as he knows what he's endowed with and the pleasure it can give. There's a twinkle in his eye that whispers, I know I can get you off big time. This mysterious air about him can be extremely exciting. But the prize is yet to come!
"But I'd describe Cate Blanchett and Rihanna's energy as sensual beings with super sexual confidence, rather than BDE. Because hey, you need to have a dick to have big dick energy." — Sadie Allison, PhD, founder and CEO of Tickle Kitty, Inc.
"People have been batting this meme around forever, saying that if you have a bigger than average penis you have more libido. The whole thing keeps a myth afloat that keeps most men feeling less-than about the size of their genitals rather than focusing on their sexual technique and emotional intelligence. While there are certainly men who have high libidos and want to be sexual more times a week than average, it doesn't have to do with the size of one's penis.
"What I've coined is Sex Esteem, which is the confidence and calm curiosity to explore sexuality and eroticism whether with yourself or your casual or long-term partners." — Sari Cooper, LCSW, certified sex therapist and director of Center for Love and Sex.
"This all harkens back to the idea that if a guy has a big dick he's just like the man. Everything sold in the media is like bigger boobs, bigger butts, bigger dicks. So it's like 'Oh he's got that big dick.' But, you don't even know! People are extrapolating the way someone carries himself into saying he must have a big dick. But, regardless of whatever size your penis is, you can exude the BDE or the big dick energy.
"I think this is someone who's really secure in their body and themselves. They're not pretentious or overly nervous. It's just this quiet confidence. Like, 'I'm fine. I'm cool. I'm secure. I'm chill.'
"Anyone can have big dick energy, whether you're a man, a woman, in between, whatever. As long as you carry yourself with that confidence and have that cool security. BDE doesn't meant that you literally have to have a big dick and it's emitting energy. You draw your energy from your own dick on the inside." — Megan Stubbs, Ed.D, a clinical sexologist.
"In looking at the similarities between the folks being described as having BDE, they all present as confident and self-assured without being arrogant. I wouldn’t be surprised if they rated low on neuroticism, the personality trait associated with anxiety, emotional reactivity, and self-consciousness. Without traits like self consciousness, they could more easily be open and direct with others. They also wouldn’t take themselves too seriously and could laugh at their mistakes. We associate these qualities with being well-endowed because in a phallocentric culture, having a big dick comes with privilege, power, and confidence. People with BDE carry themselves in a way that makes us believe in their...gifts. They have something to offer and they know it. And we like it.
"While we might not be able to guess actual penis size, we certainly can tell when someone is open, relaxed, or confident. If people want to call that BDE, alright. Language is always evolving. But BDE isn’t about penis size, it’s about the energy. It is about the presence of being: the way someone carries themselves, interacts with others, sees themselves. So BDE does not need to be gender bound or genitalia-specific." — Shadeen Francis, MFT, a marriage and family therapist specializing in sex therapy and social justice.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
For Diana and her family, the loss of her brother to a cult was slow, steady, and certain. Sometime in 2016, Alex, then 34, began a series of expensive self-help seminars put on by an organisation called NXIVM (pronounced nex-ee-um). He described these as an “elevated” form of self-improvement and called the man behind them “a genius.” At a time when her brother was at a crossroads in his life, Diana says it seemed like the classes were helpful, even if his level of devotion seemed a little excessive. Success had always seemed to come easily to her brother. Alex was popular in high school, and had always been a high-achiever. He went to an Ivy League college, before landing a high-paying job on Wall Street right out of college. But after a year, he burned out. Ever since, he had been struggling to find a new path, working a series of unfulfilling sales jobs. He had been searching for something, and felt that he was close to finding it after meeting a couple of NXIVM recruiters at a meet-up for aspiring entrepreneurs.
“Looking back, we should have done more research — not that it would have made a difference,” Diana says, recalling how that first meet-up sent her brother barreling down a path, away from the family he had once been close to. (Names and identifying details throughout this story have been withheld to protect all parties.) That her brother is now gone and has been fully replaced by someone else became finally, irrefutably clear to Diana earlier this year, after yet another futile attempt to get through to him, and convince him to come home. “I tried to break it down for him: You got into this to be more successful, but you’re not achieving more success. Have you made more money since you’ve been in this? Absolutely not. You don’t have more friends. You have a terrible relationship with our family. What is success then? And it’s like he gets confused, like he can’t understand. When I talk to him I feel like I’m not even speaking English. That’s how brainwashed he is.”
What Alex apparently believes — what he’s doing with his life and the reasons for it — has come to dominate his sister’s every waking moment over the past few years as he’s sunken deeper into NXIVM, a purported self-help organisation that, it turns out, is a cover for a twisted cult, according to federal authorities who earlier this year brought charges of sex trafficking and forced labor conspiracy against its revered leader, Keith Raniere, and his “co-conspirator,” the actress Allison Mack.
Over the past 12 months, Diana has tried everything. When Alex first started attending NXIVM seminars (which can cost up to £7,500 each) in New York City, termed Executive Success Programs or ESP, Diana says that “he seemed more social. He was making new friends. I thought this was great.” But then, in the spring of last year, Alex announced to his family that he was giving up his apartment in Brooklyn, leaving his sales job, and moving to Albany to attend The University of Higher Education — at the time, Raniere’s latest project to educate the masses and change the world.
This sent Diana’s tight-knit family into a crisis. “[Alex] told us he was joining the university at NXIVM, and we were like ‘What the fuck is that?’” Diana says. “That’s when I realised this was incredibly dangerous.” The unaccredited programme costs £4,000 a month. By the time Alex let his plans be known to his family, he had already signed the paperwork for a one-year commitment, and a series of non-disclosure agreements. “He’s an indentured servant basically. He’s indebted to them,” Diana says.
Alex truly believes he’s being elevated as a human being. That he is in this program of cutting edge education that will change the world.
Diana spent the next few months trying to understand what Alex had gotten himself into. Her brother wouldn’t answer direct questions about the group, except to say how happy he was, and how great an education he was getting. She couldn’t quite put her finger on why, but it seemed as though his deflections were rehearsed. She was forced to do her own research during this time, which, surprisingly, wasn’t hard given all that has been written about Raniere over the years. “I learned about ‘Vanguard,’ which is what they call him. I learned all about the sashes and the uniforms and the bowing and the subjugation,” Diana says. “At that point, I freaked out. I went crazy. I was very concerned for his safety.” But even then, all Alex would say is that nothing that had been printed about Raniere lined up with his experience.
Diana confronted Alex about all that she learned multiple times, always in tears, begging him to see what she saw. His response was almost as though he had been trained in how to deflect it. “He would just deftly regurgitate my feelings. He would say he understands that I’m worried, but he was unwavering,” Diana says. “[Alex] truly believes he’s being elevated as a human being. That he is in this programme of cutting edge education that will change the world.”
When berating him didn’t work, she tried to keep quiet, especially after TheNew York Times published, in October 2017, horrifying allegations of abuse, stemming from a secret sorority within the group that was branding women with Raniere’s initials and coercing them to sleep with Raniere. It took every fibre of her being to approach the situation with compassion. For a full two months, Diana pretended everything was normal, that her little brother wasn’t trapped in an abusive psycho-spiritual prison by a misogynistic scam artist. “We were actually talking. It wasn’t as robotic. He started communicating with me again, confiding in me. It was at arm’s length still, but it was improving,” Diana says. Over Christmas, when Alex was home with the family for the holiday break, “I saw a glimmer of him for the first time in years. He was thinking about moving. He had doubts. It was like he was a person again and he was thinking and looking at the world again. It gave me a lot of hope.”
But soon after the holidays, Alex was called back to the NXIVM “university” and the group was taken on some kind of retreat. “There is no doubt in my mind this was just to re-indoctrinate them because they knew the arrest was coming,” Diana says. “I spoke to him after the retreat. I reminded him of his doubts and all he would say was ‘That was a very dark period for me. I was not myself.’”
She and her family have contacted lawyers and mental health experts of all stripes. They asked about committing him to mental health treatment, but were told that would be illegal. “It’s kidnapping. We’ve reached out to various therapists and experts. All of them said that he has to fall really hard in order to get out of this,” Diana says. “His sense of self is completely gone. They’re programming him.”
Illustrated by Tristan Offit
It’s a story that was seemingly written especially for 2018, the era of “alternative facts,” and what feels like a total meltdown of the most basic tenets of right versus wrong: A guru that purports to sell self-improvement and enlightenment through ethical living is apparently a demented, power-hungry sexual predator. Last October, when the New York Times published its bombshell report featuring allegations of a master-slave sorority within the group that was branding women, forcing them to sleep with Raniere, and blackmailing them to keep them silent, Raniere’s name ricocheted across the internet. Dynasty actress Catherine Oxenberg, whose daughter India is reportedly a victim of the abuse, started speaking to the press about her “desperate fight ” to save her daughter. She told her story in People magazine and appeared on Megyn Kelly Today. Around the same time, the FBI began investigating the group, and the media was whipped into a frenzy, especially after it was reported that Allison Mack, best known for her role in the popular CW show Smallville, was one of Raniere’s top "slaves”— both one of his victims as well as a mastermind of his most brazenly abusive scheme. The sorority had a series of creepy names: In some reports, it was known as the Vow, while others referred to it as Dominus Obsequious Sororium, broken Latin for “lord over the obedient female companions,” or DOS.
The fact that Hollywood actresses, heiresses, and perverted elements of BDSM are allegedly involved have made NXIVM the latest salacious cult story — right at a time when cults are kind of hot. Thanks to the Netflix documentaries Wild, Wild Country and Waco as well as Leah Remini’s ongoing assault on Scientology via her A&E docu-series, cults have re-entered the zeitgeist. At the same time, we as a country are grappling with a politics that feels gripped by paralysing cult-like ideology and devotion, whether that’s #MAGA or even, at times, #Resist. In so many ways, the story of Keith Raniere is a fitting simulacrum for our post-truth world. Anything can be true now, as long as you believe in it hard enough.
And yet, it is no less mind-boggling. How did so many people — high-achieving, privileged people with big goals and their entire lives ahead of them — apparently fall prey to this? Part of the reason Diana’s struggle with her brother is so heart-wrenching is that it doesn’t make any sense.
To residents in and around Albany, New York, where NXIVM’s headquarters and “university” are based, Raniere has been well-known for a long time. For years, he and his self-improvement empire have been something of a local curiosity-cum-nightmare. The local paper, the Albany Times-Union, has written multiple exposes about him, including a story all the way back in 2012 about credible allegations that he raped underage girls as young as 12 in the 80s and early 90s. Despite this, and that his first company was shut down in 1997 after being investigated as a pyramid scheme, as many as 18,000 people have taken self-improvement courses through NXIVM, either in Albany or at one of their centres in New York City, Los Angeles, Vancouver, as well as various cities in Mexico, since the late 1990s. These courses, sold as Executive Success Program seminars, are supposed to help people overcome emotional blockages rooted in childhood experiences and be “more successful, more joyful,” as one ex-member explained to Refinery29.
From the outside, it’s difficult to wrap one’s mind around the appeal of Raniere. In pictures and Youtube videos, Raniere presents as the creepy high school English teacher who slides into the DMs the day after graduation. He talks a lot but says very little. On paper, Raniere is literally a nobody — he reportedly doesn’t have a bank account or a driver’s license. NXIVM is officially owned by his first student Nancy Salzberg, a.k.a. “Prefect” to NXIVM devotees. He reportedly sleeps most of the day and spends the bulk of his waking time on long walks. NXIVM legend has it that he has an IQ of 240, spoke in full sentences by age one, and has multiple degrees from Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in upstate New York. But aside from perhaps his degrees, there doesn’t appear to be any evidence to back this up.
Noted cult expert and “de-programmer” Rick Alan Ross first came to know Raniere all the way back in 2002, when a pair of concerned parents came to him distressed over the fact that their children — two daughters, a son, and a son-in-law — were deeply wrapped up in ESP. This was not an unusual experience for Ross, who has built a career out of his niche expertise in performing interventions for families trying to extract loved ones from groups like Scientology and the Branch Davidians. Families come to him often for help, finding him through the website for his non-profit, the Cult Education Institute.
Ross’ work with the family would lead to interventions (only 3 were successful) for all four of the kids – plus a protracted, 14-year long legal battle with Raniere who alleged that Ross violated NXIVM copyright and hampered the business by publishing information about NXIVM’s teachings online. (Ultimately, Raniere lost the suit and the information is still available on Ross’ website, not to mention available in even more detail in court records.) But when the family first came to him, Ross had never heard of Raniere, so his first step was to investigate whether or not Raniere qualified as a cult leader. His verdict: Definitely a cult leader, but kind of a lazy one.
“What I came to understand is that Raniere is not an original thinker. He is really a copyist, which is typical of LGATS,” Ross says referring to Large Group Awareness Trainings. (Another example of an LGAT is Landmark Forum.) “All Raniere did was combine elements of Scientology, the Landmark education seminar structure, Ayn Rand’s philosophy of objectivism, plus a multi-level marketing aspect that’s reminiscent of Amway or Herbalife.”
This was back when the Executive Success Program was still the only programme under the NXIVM umbrella. But now, Raniere has proved himself as a “master manipulator,” Ross says.
Whenever the programme had problems, they would always blame it on you. It was your issue. ‘Oh, you don’t like the programme? Do you feel entitled to the programme?’ And after a while you start believing it. You start gaslighting yourself.
Most recently, NXIVM (which is kind of like a parent company to all these separate entities) offered multiple tracks to self-awareness: ESP remains the largest and is often the entry-point for most people. But there’s also Jness, for women; Society of Protectors or SOP for men, both for teaching Raniere’s regressive ideas about gender. There’s The Source for actors, The Knife Media, Rainbow Cultural Garden for children, the University program, and of course, there's DOS. All of these various curricula have their roots in Raniere’s method known as Rational Inquiry. The teachings are quite confusing, filled with self-serving jargon and psychobabble, but the basic gist of the philosophy is that the only way to be “ethical” is to focus on your own self-interest and growth. To do that, people have to get out of their own ways, which is where exploration of meaning or “EM” comes in. These are essentially therapy sessions, somewhat reminiscent of Scientology’s controversial auditing methods, that supposes that childhood memories and past traumas create deep-seated illogical beliefs, behaviours, and “stimulus-response patterns.” The idea is that once you understand these barriers, you can reject them and live a fuller life, free of your chains.
This is not unlike many other self-improvement modalities — on the surface, this sounds a lot like run-of-the-mill group therapy. But what makes it sinister is that it’s delivered under false pretences in a setting ripe for manipulation. “You are told this is about self-improvement, but really it’s all about serving Raniere,” an ex-member says. ESP seminars, for starters, are designed as intensives: 5, 10 or even 16 10-hour long days, with the content designed to make you emotionally vulnerable by encouraging you to share your fears and weaknesses with the group. You are sworn to secrecy beforehand, and each day, the group repeats a 12-point oath that includes a promise of not divulging the secrets of the program. You are told this is to protect Raniere’s intellectual property, but this also serves to keep you from talking to anyone who might point out how deeply creepy this is.
Part of the evil genius is that most people are recruited into the seminars by trusted, often high-achieving friends or loved ones. An ex-member Refinery29 spoke with told us that the pitch came from a trusted friend. “I’ve always been busy and achieving things and doing well in my career, never focused on emotionality or anything like that," the ex-member said. "It was pitched to me like, ‘What if your experience of life could be more joyful? What if you could achieve more and you could also have a more joyful experience doing it?’”
It is surprisingly easy to get sucked in. At the end of every intensive, you are encouraged to buy into more seminars, with the salespeople often using whatever you may have shared against you. “They’ll say to you, what do you want in the world? You might reply, I want to be happy, I want to build a business — whatever it is. And then they’ll say: Why aren’t you getting it? What’s getting in the way?” an ex-member explains. “Then during the pitch they try to make you see the problem is you. But the program can help you.” From there, you might sign up for another and then another on different topics, like “Love” or “Human Pain.”
The more you learn, the more entrenched in the community you become. After a while, you’re encouraged to recruit your spouse, co-workers, friends, and loved ones. Then, you’re encouraged to become a member at one of the centres, like the one in Albany or San Francisco or Mexico City, where you can take classes five days a week and become involved in Jness or SOP. In that setting, the people involved wear coloured sashes according to rank, and bow to one another before entering and exiting a room. You learn about Vanguard and Prefect. This is the coach’s path: people who rise in rank become seminar leaders and “proctors,” who are paid staff members at NXIVM. You must earn the privilege of this by volunteering for menial tasks at the centre, passing tests, and spending more on seminars. But, the most important thing you must do is recruit new people into NXIVM. “They slowly, incrementally introduce the weirdness, so by the end, you’re desensitised to it,” an ex-member says.
The key to all of this is the perversion of a very human desire for community; all together — the rituals, the hierarchy, the teachings — it amounts to the creation of a subculture, where a group of people have all been indoctrinated by the same teachings that are only comprehensible to members. This leads to a sense of superiority that binds people together, especially when a key ingredient of said teachings is that those who have taken the program are the only ones who truly understand; outsiders or those who leave are either “weak” or worse, “suppressive.” “It becomes a trap,” Ross explains, adding that this is all pretty much textbook mind control (or “thought reform,” his preferred term). “To freeze them there, you create the subculture, which is where the centres and the sashes and the bowing comes in. NXIVM devotees who are with each other constantly reinforce each other constantly.”
An ex-member says that in hindsight, they see how true that is: “So much of it was manipulative. The sad thing is that a lot of the content was helpful. I am a more emotionally attuned person now, having done it. But the problem is, when you’re learning these methods, when you’re drilling down into emotions and putting yourself in a vulnerable situation, people can introduce thoughts there that you wouldn’t necessarily be open to otherwise.”
In April of this year, it seems the truth had finally broke through for many people, when Raniere was arrested in Mexico. Mack was arrested soon after. Most recently, a federal judge denied Raniere’s bail, and NXIVM has ceased all official operations in the United States. There were as many as 700 active members at its height — either enrolled in weekly classes or taking seminars — with 100 of those people devoted enough to be dedicating their life to “Vanguard” and his teachings as coaches. In the immediate wake of media reports revealing the abuse of women, more than a third of the people involved left, with another third leaving over the course of the next few months.
“Whenever the program had problems, they would always blame it on you. It was your issue. ‘Oh, you don’t like the program? Do you feel entitled to the program?’ And after a while you start believing it. You start gaslighting yourself,” an ex-member says. But this time, it seems, it was impossible to ignore the physical evidence of the brand — especially when fellow NXIANs refused to explain it. “It was really creepy. Can you imagine if you said to someone, ‘Hey did this happen?’ And the only response they can give you is ‘Well, there’s no proof that I did it,’” an ex-member says. “No amount of personal development justifies the abuse of women.”
Now, just a small, tightly wound group remains in New York (splitting time between Albany and New York City), including Diana’s brother, Alex. As October turned to November and NXIVM became the subject of news report after news report, Diana became extremely fearful for her brother’s life. She does not believe he is involved with DOS, nor that he will be arrested. But at this point, that’s the least of it. “He’s changed forever,” she says.
These ardent devotees remain committed to the delusion that they are somehow changing the world, while their families agonise over how this will all end. “He’s given up his entire life. He’s already shown he’s willing to go to extremes for Keith,” Diana says. “My big fear right now, honestly, is a Jim Jones scenario.”
Raniere and Mack’s trial date has been set for October 1. How this will end is anyone’s guess.
Since the arrests, Diana has felt helpless and afraid and angry. She’s not sure what else to do to get through to her brother, but at the very least she hopes she can help make sure it doesn’t happen to another family. After their last argument earlier this year, Diana hasn’t spoken to him. “When Catherine Oxenberg started speaking to the press about her daughter, I realised we weren’t alone in this. There are so many other families that are being tortured by this man. It goes far beyond DOS,” she says, her voice cracking. “At this point we are in despair. I’m telling this story because I don’t know what else to do. All I want is for my brother to come home.”
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Florence Welch is all about contradictions. As the unmistakable voice of one of the country’s biggest bands, Florence + the Machine, she’s known for being expressive, artistic and, more often than not, shrouded in billowing fabrics. Offstage, however, the south Londoner is a more introverted and doubtful presence, something her first book, Useless Magic, makes clear. A varied, visually arresting tome, it brings together poems, lyrics, sketches and notes from Welch’s personal and professional life, making the reader feel as though they’re peeking into a private journal, and emphasising the gap between Welch’s performances (big, dramatic) and the majority of her writing (questioning, fragile). As well as this, she’s been working on a searing fourth album, High As Hope, out this week. Lead single "Hunger" was released in May and ushered in a more confessional era for Welch, who has given up drink and drugs in recent years. Ahead of the release of both book and record, she explains her "anxious ghost" personality, near-madness, and the blurry boundaries between song and poetry.
In the book you say that there’s an impermanence to song – what do you mean by that?
When I wrote that, I was thinking about why I'd never written the lyrics to my songs down before. I think it's because when people listen to a song, they can sometimes mishear you, or let it wash over them, or somehow the meaning of a word is strengthened by its sound. I guess I was scared of actually writing them down, and being seen. This is the first time I’ve just allowed them to be on the page.
How are the songs, the poetry and the visuals in the collection connected?
I started writing poetry towards the end of the last tour of [third album] How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful – some became songs and some of them stayed as poems, so I realised that perhaps the boundary between them wasn't as big as I’d thought before. I started to see them as less separate, and some of them became songs for High As Hope. As for the drawings, I've always been an incredibly visual person and have a really strong sense of personal aesthetic. I like it when an album is a world that you can step into, and for me it's always very important that that has a continuity to it. I don't know if it’s because I went to art college, but I see everything as a whole, and feel like things should tie together.
What are your favourite lyrics in the book?
It's been really interesting going back to some of my earlier writing, because I realise songs like "Bird Song" that never quite made it onto an album are actually quite complex little folk tales, and I can see that I was pretty interested in telling stories. So it’s nice to look back on the section for [first album] Lungs and see songs like "Falling", "Bird Song" and "Swimming", and then look at the songs on High As Hope and realise that I’ve always been attached to similar themes. It's oddly comforting to know that you've always been fixated on the same things.
Photo Courtesy of Florence Welch/Useless Magic.
In the poetry section you write evocatively about fame and coping with fame...
Yes, I say that I'm an anxious ghost. It's funny because people look really scared when they see you. I guess they're just surprised – they don't expect you to be going to get a coffee, so it's a little like being an apparition. And there's also a level of that that you've created yourself. When I was a little kid, I was obsessed with superheroes and ghosts and mermaids, and in a sense through my job I've almost been able to create that. You become your own dream, if that makes sense. I think I've become more relaxed about it, though. The people who come up and talk to me are usually really kind and sweet, and I think by putting myself out there, people can kind of see your humanness, and we talk about our anxiety and stuff. But sometimes I don't really want to be noticed, which gives you the sense that you're scurrying around, that's the anxious ghost thing. I can be really shy and sometimes I don't really like having my picture taken, but if someone stops me I'd much rather sign a piece of paper than take a selfie.
When I was a kid, I was obsessed with superheroes and ghosts and mermaids, and in a sense through my job I've almost been able to create that.
Where and when do you like to read?
I like to read when I'm travelling, or at home after being in the studio or doing work. I've always read – ever since I was young I've always been a really voracious reader. When I was a little kid it was just me and a book. That was my biggest relationship, I was kind of a shy kid.
Do you have a go-to book you would give as a gift?
The Argonauts by Maggie Nelson is one of my favourites, I've given that as a gift. It's incredible. Or Bluets by the same author. I also love Bone by Yrsa Daley-Ward. These are writers who are pushing the boundaries of what poetry and prose is. They're kind of changing what it has to be.
Do you have a favourite bookshop?
I get super lost when I go to Paris, but the only place I know how to find is Shakespeare and Co. I love it.
Photo Courtesy of Tom Beard/Useless Magic.
What has it been like recording the new record? You’ve said that you wouldn’t normally go straight into writing after a tour, but you did this time...
Yes, I did – I was just really compelled to start making stuff. When you’re touring you can't really create things, and I'm someone who really needs to have an outlet. I'd been writing all these little poems and I wanted a place to put them. After [the last tour] I went straight into a little studio in south London and just started making it right away. It was a kind of bits and bobs thing, and took about a year and a half. I feel really good about having co-produced this one, though. I think I was essentially producing before, but I never knew I was allowed the title. But when you take the title you really have to show up and do it. Sometimes when you're working with a producer, there are moments when you can kind of take your foot off the gas a bit, and maybe they take over a bit of the mixing, and you can go off and rest, but I was there for every single second of this process. I nearly went mad, but this record is a part of me. Every piece of it I have touched and held, so I guess it's kind of the purest expression of where I'm at as an artist.
That sounds like a very intense process.
It was – I got really sick when I finished it and had to take some time off around Christmas. I got this horrendous flu and was just lying in my house like, oh my god, this album has destroyed me! Making it was really fun and joyful, but it took a big chunk of me and then I got ill, which I think was my body's way of resetting. But now I feel good and I'm so happy with the way it turned out.
It seems like a record that deals more with realism than the supernatural, otherworldly themes you’re known for.
That’s interesting – I think maybe that's to do with the fact that it started off as poetry. Sometimes writing a poem that isn't set to music can be more matter of fact. I'll write songs where I sing to music, and the music makes me conjure up things – I'll be a kind of translator. But with this one I was sitting down before the music came, so it was maybe a more direct thought process. But I think it's also an age thing. I'm a bit older now, and I'm a bit further from the things I was ashamed of, or was struggling with. And when you're a bit further from all of that, you can say these things out loud and you can be more honest. When you're in the pain and you're in the shameful stuff, there's no fucking way you're going to tell anyone. You're gonna dress it up like it's a mystical creature. So I think I was at a stage where I was in a more stable place and I could be a bit more forthright.
You’ve also just done a sleepwear collection with Liberty – how did that come about?
I've always been a Liberty print obsessive, and I've collected [items] from charity shops since I was a teenager. So when they approached and asked if I would like to do something with them, I said yes. It’s the shop that I go to the most in London, as it's a beautiful Tudor building and small enough for me to feel okay in. I do a lot of my writing in the morning, in my pyjamas, getting hyped up on coffee. So I thought a sleepwear collection would be good, because for me it's also workwear.
Photo Courtesy of Tom Beard/Useless Magic.
How does it feel to be a style icon more generally, and to have people comment on how you look as well as what you do?
How I look is an extension of my personality, that's for sure, and I find fashion a way to be creative in my daily life. When I was in school I had this English teacher who came to school in medieval robes, and she made a lasting impression on me, as you can see. She would come in with these long fluted sleeves and red velvet dresses. I think what's nice about having settled into my own sense of style is that I’m quite happy to wear what I like. It probably isn't to some people's tastes, but there's a kind of liberation to that. I don't ever worry about ending up on best or worst dressed lists.
Useless Magic, £20, is out on 5thJuly, published by Fig Tree. Florence + the Machine’s new album, High as Hope, is out now.
Watch Florence read an extract from Useless Magic below...
Florence Poetry Interview
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
It used to be that we sought a glowing complexion in winter, when the cold weather and shorter days played havoc with our tired, grey skin. Now, though, we want radiant skin year-round; luckily, brands are creating innovative products to do just that.
From acid cleansers to use every day to illuminating primers that give you a superstar glow, these are the new, tried-and-tested products to add to your bathroom shelf.
Kiehl's says its new product is a 'facial moisturiser' but we've been using it as an illuminating primer. The Glow Formula Skin Hydrator is one for grey days that make your skin look dull – two pumps kickstarts a glow without any unnecessary glitter or shimmer. It doesn't pill, glides on smoothly and has perked us up on the most British of April days. The clincher for us? It doesn't sit in and draw attention to your pores, as some other illuminating products do.
Kiehl's Glow Formula Skin Hydrator, £30, available at Kiehl's
A pre-coverage primer that gives your base a healthy glow, and a setting-spray that keeps makeup in check all day, this two-in-one is a desk staple that saves our skin come the 3pm slump.
This new drop from SkinCeuticals has the stats to back up its claims: it's clinically proven to give a 36% improvement in skin’s overall radiance and 37% improvement in texture in just 8 weeks of use. How? 10% glycolic free acid encourages cell turnover, meaning sayonara to grey, tired, dull skin.
SkinCeuticals Glycolic 10 Renew Overnight, £80, available at SkinCeuticals
When Rihanna posted about her first foray into body products, it caused a frenzy. And rightly so: This gel-based body highlighter leaves skin dewy thanks to its cooling texture, and delivers a healthy glow without that '90s school disco just-rolled-in-a-shitload-of-glitter look. Slick onto bare legs now as the weather starts to improve, and arms and décolletage come summer.
Fenty Beauty Body Lava Body Luminizer, £46, available at Harvey Nichols
The king of skincare acids has created the cleanser of our dreams. This alpha hydroxy-driven saviour goes from gel to foam when water is added, sloughing away dead skin while tackling grit and grime. It can be used alongside your usual acids and doesn't disturb the skin's micro-biome – meaning no stripping or redness, just glowing skin.
Dr. Dennis Gross Skincare Alpha Beta Pore Perfecting Cleansing Gel, £46, available at Cult Beauty
Charlotte Tilbury used this wonder product on actresses on the BAFTA red carpet and backstage at London Fashion Week. A primer-highlighter hybrid, the thick formula can be worked three ways: mixed with moisturiser as a lit-from-within primer; added to your coverage for extra iridescence; and patted on the high points of your face for a natural-looking highlight. This will see us from spring all the way through to winter.
Charlotte Tilbury Hollywood Flawless Filter, £30, available at Cult Beauty
These individually packaged jumbo cotton swabs are soaked in 20% Glycolic Acid Complex (AHA). They are super convenient, travel friendly and effective for achieving a professional glow with at-home exfoliation. Simply glide a swab across your face after cleansing to minimise fine lines and uneven skintone. (AHAs increase skin sensitivity, so be sure to apply suncream the following day.)
Peter Thomas Roth Face Care 20% Complex Glycolic Solutions Jumbo Peel Swab x 8, £24.95, available at AllBeauty
This cream is expensive. A-month's-rent-in-London kind of expensive. If you're a beauty obsessive on the hunt for eternal youth, however, it's a good place to start, thanks to its 15-years-in-the-making formula. La Prairie screened 50,000 different ingredients before coming up with Lumidose, a mega powerful illuminating molecule that targets dark spots by supporting the inhibition of melanin.
La Prairie White Caviar Crème Extraordinaire, £519, available at Selfridges
Hourglass is our go-to brand for glow-giving products – one buff of its Ambient Lighting Power and you have yourself a lit-from-within complexion. So we were thrilled when its new launch, the Veil Retouching Fluid, landed on our desk. A serum-like formula, it refreshes tired skin while illuminating, tackling dark under-eye circles as well as working to highlight the face's high points. We've been using it in our morning routine, but thanks to the hyaluronic acid, it's the perfect 3pm pick-me-up (and doesn't smudge pre-applied makeup, either).
Hourglass Veil Retouching Fluid, £25, available from 20th April at Space.NK
Essentially a facial in a bottle, this cult hit from Kate Somerville has long been used by our US cousins, but only hit UK shores a few months ago. Using a two-pronged approach to exfoliation - both physical and enzymatic - skin is left squeaky clean without being stripped. Leave on for two minutes in the shower for a morning-fresh face that makes your serums work harder and your makeup glide on smoother.
Kate Somerville ExfoliKate Intensive Exfoliating Treatment, £72, available at Cult Beauty
Vitamin C is one of our staple ingredients due to its anti-ageing and brightening properties. Combined with hyaluronic acid, this serum recharges skin while boosting collagen – the ultimate glow-giver – encouraging a radiant finish. Use a retinol every other evening and this every morning for a just-got-back-from-holiday glow.
Super Facialist Vitamin C+ Glow Boost Skin Serum, £16.99, available at Boots
The cult favourite is back, better and bigger than before. Its 5% glycolic acid, which is derived from sugar cane, gently exfoliates skin, meaning you can use it every day without irritation. The alpha hydroxy acid dissolves the bond holding dead skin cells together, leaving skin super fresh rather than grey. One pump on a cotton pad post-cleanse and you'll have a year-round dewy visage.
Pixi Supersize Glow Tonic, £32, available at Cult Beauty
Stop the search: We've found your warm weather coverage. It Cosmetics has reformulated its bestselling product, which also contains SPF50 and an anti-ageing hydrating serum to keep skin smooth and soft. It's like your skin, only better, and requires minimal concealer afterwards. Perfect alone in summer, or with an extra hydrating primer in winter, we've fallen for this do-it-all gem. The only downside is the limited shade range, which caters to paler skin tones but could do with some extra options for women of colour.
It Cosmetics Your Skin But Better CC+ Cream with SPF 50+, £30, available at It Cosmetics
Scandinavia's favourite skincare brand just recently launched in the UK, and our pick of the bunch is this vitamin C-based radiance-giving serum. It also contains arctic cloudberries from the northern hemisphere that contain 4x more vitamin c than oranges, so your skin will be glowing after several uses.
Lumene Nordic C Glow Boost Radiance, £29.90, available at Feel Unique
The World Cup has finally reached its nail-biting Top 16, and fans from all over the world are showing their team pride with jerseys, flags, and some of the coolest nail art we've ever seen. With supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio once again leading the pack, the designs this year are more detailed and impressive than ever.
To get you inspired as we head into a weekend of matches, we've rounded up the coolest, non-cheesy art for every team left in the tournament. Trust us, you'll want to be wearing these at kick-off.
Mexico
The World Cup can get intense, but your nail art doesn't have to be. Sweep on a neutral base, then choose one or two accent nails to show your loyalty.
@polishemty
Brazil
If you believe your team is going to be in it for the long haul (and shouldn't you?), go for a French manicure which only looks better as it grows out.
@nails_bymi
England
Why stop at your country's flag when you could also include its national flower, the Tudor rose?
@cmjams
Spain
Write out your love for your team, and add a few embellishments while you're at it.
@babyface_magi
Russia
If you're drawing on a striped flag like this fan, you're going to want tape to create the straightest, most precise lines.
Cardi B lives her life in public. She greeted one Rolling Stone journalist in the nude. She rants about Donald Trump and her haters on Instagram. She proudly twerked at Coachella with her baby bump on display. She later told Ellen Degeneres that she was just demonstrating for her baby how babies were made. (Through twerking!) Amid this ruckus, Cardi squirrelled away a very important detail: her wedding. This week, TMZ reported that Cardi married her fiance Offset almost a full year ago. They in turn confirmed it. The breakout music star – a pop cultural phenomenon, really — since last summer, Cardi kept it secret through a New York Times interview, profiles in New York Magand GQ, the release of her appropriately named album Invasion of Privacy, and even the announcement of her pregnancy this past spring. In this era of publicity excess, she hid her marriage in plain sight.
Secret weddings aren’t all that anomalous, even historically. The word “elope” exists almost expressly for couples who don’t want to marry in front of a crowd. Historically, this crowd has been disapproving parents and other family members. For celebrities, this crowd is their fans and nosy journalists (hi!). It’s also perhaps the growing expectations of the wedding industry. The financial power of celebrity plus the wedding industry is a massive, massive expense waiting to happen. Per E! Online, Kim Kardashian’s European wedding to Kanye West cost $2.8 million (£2.2 million). (West’s proposal, held at AT&T Park in San Francisco, reportedly cost even more.)
“You see people plan weddings. It sucks,” Schumer told Kelly Ripa on Live! With Kelly and Ryan in April. On Nikki Glaser’s podcast You Up, she added, “Part of the thing that’s good about us getting married so quickly is that we’re so in love…Every girl I know, if they get proposed to they’re like, 'Oh now? Now that I can’t have kids?’”
Comedian Chelsea Peretti eloped with Jordan Peele back in 2016, joking on Instagram that her dog was their only witness. Later, on Conan, she clarified that they married in Big Sur with the woman who married them as their only witness. She expressed mild regret about forgoing a bigger to-do to the New York Times in a profile of comedians Natasha Leggero and Moshe Kasher. (Kasher and Leggero had a big wedding, and proceeded to talk about their marriage in a special called The Honeymoon Special.)
“It was bittersweet, going to a fun wedding,” Peretti told the Times. “You go, ‘Ugh, are we missing out on family and friends?’ And then ultimately, we decided, ‘Nah.’” She and Peele had a child last year.
For Cardi, the impulse was pure privacy. “There are so many moments that I share with the world and then there are moments that I want to keep for myself!” she tweeted. “Getting married was one of those moments! Our relationship was so new breaking up and making up and we had a lot of growing up to do but we was so in love we didn’t want to lose each other, was one morning in September we woke up and decided to get married.”
She did, however, grant access to her Bronx-themed baby shower, which took place in Atlanta this week. Despite her unfiltered persona, the former stripper-turned-reality star-turned-superstar is cherry-picking what we get to see and what we don’t, a luxury that doesn’t seem affordable in an era of endless internet surveillance. Privacy’s also a complicated issue for Cardi, who dedicated her debut album title to the invasion of it.
“I feel like I give people a lot and people still want more. When it comes to my pregnancy, I had people harassing me, stalking me. If it’s not something about me, it’s something about my man,” she told Sirius XM this April, right after her album premiered. She kept her pregnancy secret for many months until she performed with an undeniable bump on Saturday Night Live, after her album debut. She’s also not alone in the realm of secret pregnancies: Three of the Kardashians kept baby news from the press this year, all of them determined to keep the news to themselves.
Kylie Jenner, a woman so powerful and ubiquitous that one tweet crushed Snapchat’s stock, suddenly wanted privacy. As celebrities increasingly exhibit control over their own images — social media helps — they can choose when they want to dig in their heels If they have to release a statement on just about everything that goes down, they should also be able to keep some things under a veil. They can be the arbiters of their own identities now.
Privacy is a vague but buzzy word, often reduced to the idea that we deserve to be able to “fuck off.” In an article for the Harvard Law Review, Georgetown University law professor Julie E. Cohen wrote, “Privacy is shorthand for breathing room to engage in the process of ... self-development.” Privacy is literally a room of one’s own, or, maybe for Jenner, space for “realising things.”
And then, the private wedding has romantic benefits. A 2014 study from Emory University suggested that smaller (and cheaper) weddings lead to longer marriages. A small wedding is by default often cheaper, which makes secret celebrity weddings even stranger. Why have a small cheap wedding when you can rent out a stadium with all your cash? Maybe, for Cardi B, for romance, for Tosh, and for pop culture, cash is no longer king. Privacy is.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Turns out, it costs a pretty penny to be royal outing ready. According to one royal expert, Meghan Markle’s new wardrobe has cost approximately $1 million (£750,00) since she became engaged to Prince Harry. I, for one, can totally relate to the new Duchess of Sussex’s new lifestyle of having a complimentary work wardrobe. It reminds me of the three summers I spent working at the zoo as a teenager, except much more glamorous and a lot less khaki.
Entertainment Tonight calculated the cost of Markle’s outfits from her first one-on-one meeting with the Queen to her wedding gown, which proves that designer duds add up fast. Her wedding dresses are by far the most expensive items on the list, with her Givenchy wedding gown costing over $440,000 (£330,000) and the Stella McCartney gown she wore to the reception costing about $157,000 (£117,000).
By comparison, the rest of her bespoke wardrobe sounds like a steal – a very relative term when it comes to designer pieces. The Givenchy cape dress she wore the first time she and the Queen had a solo appointment was $18,000 (£13,500), the pale pink Carolina Herrera dress she wore to Trooping the Colour was $4,000 (£3,000), an Oscar de la Renta dress she wore to Prince Harry’s cousin’s wedding cost nearly $6,000 (£4,500), and the dress she wore to Prince Charles’ birthday party, a sheer dress by Goat, was just over $600 (£450). That’s not to mention a Prada skirt suit she wore to the Young Leaders Awards Ceremony, and several other events where she’s worn designer ensembles, frequently Givenchy, complete with shoes and accessories.
A post shared by Meghan Markle (@meghanmarkleupdates) on
So who’s paying for this gorgeous, Givenchy-heavy wardrobe? Journalist and royal expert Kate Nicholl told ET that the bill was being picked up by her new father-in-law, Prince Charles, who gets the money from his $28 million (£21 million) yearly salary. Being a royal is a full-time job. Like her new sister-in-law Kate Middleton, Markle is likely working with an assistant who puts in requests with designers to send samples to choose from. Whatever she chooses is then paid for in full. Royals do not accept designer clothes for free, reports People. While they are allowed to accept certain types of gifts, the royals aren’t allowed to accept gifts intended for commercial gain, which includes clothing. Whatever Markle and Middleton wear quickly sells out, so giving them free clothing could be used as free marketing. Given Middleton’s knack for getting more than one wear per ensemble out of her own stylish wardrobe, Markle will more than likely be repeating at least a few of these outfits.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Meanwhile, one woman who shared the billboard on Facebook noted wryly: "I’m not sure why anybody would need a masters in mansplaining, don’t most mansplainers already have a terminal degree in every subject?"
The University of Adelaide has responded to criticism of the billboard by insisting it actually had nothing to do it. According to the university, the billboard was commissioned by Renewal SA, an urban development body that operates on behalf of the Government of South Australia.
A spokesperson from the university told Australian website Mamamia: " While the angle of that photo suggests this is a University of Adelaide image (because our logo is in the frame), the image was not supplied by or approved by the University. We recommend you direct your enquiries to Renewal SA (see the bottom right corner of the pic)."
At the time of writing, Renewal SA has yet to comment on the billboard.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
There is nothing worse than being virtuous, getting a salad for your lunch, and being starving fewer than three hours later is there? After all, what's the point of having a meal at all if it's not going to sustain you until your next one?
Sadly, when it comes to salad recipes, all too often the creators forget the one thing that fills you up: the carbs. Yes, it's all very well having the finest chard and kale and bok choi for lunch, but if those greens aren't coming with a hefty dose of grains, pulses or bread, they're not going to cut it
Luckily, new book Salad Feasts by Jessica Elliott Dennison, a café owner, supper club runner and food stylist (she's got a lovely Instagram unsurprisingly), is all about salads that work for you. Think big, hearty, multi-ingredient salads which are perfect to make for lunch and keep you going all week.
We've chosen some of the best vegan options from her book for you to try at home. Click through to find the recipes.
Mushroom and Rosemary Wild Rice with Crispy Kale and Garlic
Time: 25 minutes Serves 4
Ingredients
300g wild rice 1/2 vegetable, chicken or beef stock cube (optional) 200g kale 2 tbsp olive oil 1/2 tsp sea salt flakes 40g blanched hazelnuts (see tip) 400g mushrooms (ideally chestnut or wild mushrooms) 3-4 large sprigs rosemary, leaves only 3 garlic cloves, peeled and crushed 30g dried cranberries or sour cherries Zest and juice of 1 lemon
Instructions
1. First, preheat the oven to 180°C. Next, add the rice to a medium pan and top up with three times the volume of water. Crumble in the stock cube, if using, then bring to the boil and simmer over a medium-high heat for the time stated on the packet (around 18-20 minutes). Once cooked, refresh under cold water and drain.
2. Meanwhile, wash the kale under cold water and pat dry. Tear the leaves away from the tough stems and discard. Shred the kale into 1 cm strips then add to a large roasting tray. Rub in 1 tablespoon of the oil and the salt then roast in a single layer for 7 minutes. (If the kale is overcrowded in the tray, it will steam rather than roast, so split across two if your trays are small.)
3. Roughly crush the hazelnuts then add to one corner of the tray. Gently toss the kale then roast for a further 3-4 minutes until crisp and the hazelnuts are beginning to turn golden and release their natural oils. Set aside.
4. Put a large frying pan over a high heat while you chop the mushrooms – thickly slice some, quarter others and leave any small mushrooms whole. Add to the hot pan along with 1/2 tablespoon of the oil and cook for 6 minutes, stirring now and again. (You want to let the mushrooms colour and catch to build up flavour rather than sweating and steaming them.)
5. Finely chop the rosemary, reduce the pan heat to low and add the remaining 1/2 tablespoon of oil. Fry for 30 seconds. Remove from the heat and add the garlic to cook in the residual heat, stirring frequently so that it doesn’t burn.
6. Stir the cranberries, lemon zest and juice and rice into the mushrooms then gently toss. Scatter with the kale and hazelnuts to finish.
Tip: Don’t worry if your hazelnuts aren’t blanched. Just rub the nuts between some sheets of kitchen paper when they come out of the oven. This will wipe away most of the papery skins.
Photographed by Matt Russell
Braised Olive Puy Lentil Casarecce with Garlic, Lemon and Radicchio
1. First, bring a large pan of water to the boil. Carefully add the pasta then boil over a high heat for the time stated on the packet (around 10-12 minutes) until al dente then drain. Reserve a mugful of the cooking water.
2. Meanwhile, drain and rinse the olives then add to a large frying pan along with the oil. Place over a medium heat then add 1/2 teaspoon of chilli, 1/4 teaspoon of salt, the sugar, vinegar and rosemary (whole sprigs). Peel and bash the garlic then add to the pan. Using a speed peeler, create thin strips of lemon zest (avoid the bitter white pith) and add to the pan along with the juice of half the lemon. If the olives look to be drying out at any point, splash in some of the pasta cooking water to help them braise.
3. Stir the cooked pasta into the olives along with the lentils. Remove any tired-looking outer leaves from the radicchio then finely shred and stir through the pasta. Increase the heat to high for 1 minute then remove. Have a little taste to check the seasoning. Depending on how naturally salty your olives are, you may want to add more salt, lemon juice or chilli flakes. Remove the woody rosemary stalks then serve warm or at room temperature.
Photographed by Matt Russell
Cherry, Almond and Baked Pitta with Pomegranate, Chickpeas and Mint
Time: 20 minutes Serves 4
Ingredients
2 pitta or flatbreads (white or wholemeal) 1 tbsp olive oil 1 tsp ground sumac 1/2 tsp ground cumin 1/4 tsp sea salt flakes 50g almonds 400g tin chickpeas in water, rinsed and drained 200g cherries, stones removed and roughly chopped Large bunch (30g) flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped Small bunch (20g) mint, roughly chopped 130g radishes, sliced 2 large ripe tomatoes, deseeded and roughly chopped 1 small cucumber, deseeded and roughly chopped
For the dressing 1 small garlic clove 2 tsp pomegranate molasses Juice of 1/2-1 lemon 1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil 1 tsp ground sumac
Instructions
1. First, preheat the oven to 200°C (400°F/Gas 6). Open out the pitta, then tear bitesize pieces into a baking tray and rub with the oil, sumac, cumin and salt. Bake for 7 minutes then remove, give the tray a shake, add the almonds and bake for another 3 minutes until the bread and almonds are golden. (Keep an eye on them in the oven as I find oven temperatures and cooking times really vary.)
2. Transfer to a plate to cool.
3. Peel and crush the garlic into a large mixing bowl then stir in the molasses, juice of half the lemon, the oil and sumac. Slice the cooled almonds into slivers then tip into the bowl along with the chickpeas, baked pitta and remaining chopped ingredients. Toss gently to evenly coat in the dressing then check the seasoning; you may want to squeeze in the remaining lemon half. Serve immediately while the pitta is still nice and crunchy.
Photographed by Matt Russell
Sticky Pomegranate Beetroot with Pistachio Freekeh and Chickpeas
Time: 35 minutes Serves 4
Ingredients
200g freekeh or bulgur wheat 1 1/4-1 1/2 tsp sea salt flakes 600g bunch beetroots 60g shelled pistachios Large bunch flat-leaf parsley, finely chopped 2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil 1 lemon 400g tin chickpeas in water, rinsed and drained 30g fresh ginger, peeled and finely grated 3 1/2 tbsp pomegranate molasses 100g prepacked pomegranate seeds or 1 small pomegranate (optional)
Instructions
1. First, bring a medium pan of water to the boil. Add the freekeh and 1 teaspoon of salt then simmer for the time stated on the packet until tender (around 15 minutes). Rinse under plenty of cold water and set aside to drain completely.
2. Meanwhile, wearing rubber gloves, peel and trim the beetroots then cut into quarter wedges (any smaller ones can be halved). Put in a large pan and cover with water. Bring to the boil then simmer for around 25 minutes or until tender when pierced with a sharp knife. Drain in a colander then return to the pan.
3. While the beetroot is cooking, toast the pistachios in a dry frying pan over a high heat for 1-2 minutes to release their natural oils. Transfer to the corner of your chopping board and allow to cool. Put the parsley in a large bowl along with the drained freekeh and half the oil. Slice a cheek/side off the lemon and chop really finely, then add to the bowl along with 1/4 teaspoon of salt. Toss the chickpeas through the dressed freekeh then check the seasoning; you may need to add more salt.
4. Add the ginger to the beetroot pan along with the molasses, a squeeze of the lemon and the remaining oil. Heat the pan over a high heat for 1 minute and gently toss to coat the beetroot in the glossy, syrupy juices.
5. Transfer the dressed freekeh to a large platter then tip over the beetroot and syrupy juices. If using, scatter over the pomegranate seeds to finish.
Photographed by Matt Russell
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
July marks the season of the festival and team R29 are getting ready to dance our socks off at Lovebox, Wilderness, Latitude and Citadel and more.
If you're itching to be outdoors in the sunshine, but would rather pass on the glitter and bar queues then check out Frieze Sculpture exhibition in Regent's Park for Insta-worthy works by Tracey Emin and South Korean artist Kimsooja.
Whatever your fancy, we've got a great suggestion for making the most of your summer days, and nights. Click through for the best things to watch, do and visit this month from team Refinery29.
Jess Commons, Health & Lifestyle Editor
Sharp Objects, Sky Atlantic, 9th June. In my humble opinion, Gillian Flynn’s Sharp Objects was actually better than Gone Girl and its creepy ending still haunts me now, several years later. So, I’m thrilled HBO have made it into an Amy Adams starring mini-series, which promises to be really, really good.
The Incendiaries - R.O. Kwon, Riverhead Books, 31st July. I’m hearing nothing but positive reviews of this upcoming book. It’s about two university students who get sucked into an extremist religious cult with sinister intentions. It’s got something to do with North Korea too. Basically, I cannot wait to read.
Georgia Murray, Fashion & Beauty Writer
Latitude Festival, Suffolk, 12-15th July. I’ll be getting my indie and electronic fill at Latitude this year, with alt-J, Jon Hopkins and Belle and Sebastian gracing the stage amongst the picturesque lake and forest. It’ll be the first time I see the inimitable Solange live, too, which will be a spiritual experience for sure.
Japan House, Kensington, opened 22nd June. I’ll be making regular visits to Japan House, a newly-opened exhibition-led space situated in a beautiful Art Deco building in Kensington. There will be everything from art workshops to food nights and music performances, aiming to get Londoners immersed in everything Japanese culture has to offer.
Katy Harrington, Managing Editor
Wimbledon 2018, Coverage daily on BBC, from Monday 2nd July. I’ve already had multiple palpitations over the World Cup, and now nail biting Wimbledon begins. What did we do to deserve such bounty? I’ve put a little bet on Andy not-taking-any-of-your-lawn-tennis-club-shit Murray and in the women's I’d punt on the amazing Petra Kvitová, but then what fool would bet against the finest athlete on the planet, accordingly named after a planet - Venus.
Whitney, in cinemas from 6th July. Nick Broomfield’s 2017 doc about Whitney, Can I Be Me? didn’t satiate me. And I still don’t forgive him for 1998s Kurt & Courtney. Kevin MacDonald's documentary opens in UK cinemas on July 6th and though no one can tell her heart soaring and heartbreaking story in two hours, it might come closer.
David Farrell, Marketing Executive
Steps, Old Royal Naval College, Greenwich, 5th July. If there’s one pop group that sums up my childhood, it’s Steps. They were my first concert back in 1999, which I can’t believe is almost 20 years ago, and you best believe they still have all the bangers. It’s worth buying tickets to see them perform ‘Tragedy’ alone.
Orange Is The New Black, Season 6, 27th July. Season 5 of Netflix’s longest running and arguably most popular original series was a bit of a misfire for me. The prison riot plot was too thin to be sustained over 13 episodes, but the finale did leave me wondering about the fate of my favourite inmates. I have complete faith that the producers can turn out another stonker of a season, and to be honest I’m thirsty for more beauty tutorials from Maritza and Flaca.
Tamar Riley, Marketing Director
Lovebox x Refinery29, Gunnersbury Park, 13th - 14th July. Refinery29 are teaming up with Lovebox, Friends of the Earth and In Your Dreams to bring you totally guilt-free biodegradable glitter. We’re providing makeovers for festival goers, so come join us for some dancing to Childish Gambino, Annie Mac and N.E.R.D. See ya there.
Frieze Sculpture 2018, Regent's Park, opening 4th July. What better way to appreciate art work by Tracy Emin and Kimsooja than having a sunny picnic in Regent's Park? The Frieze sculpture exhibition returns this July and runs all the way till October. I will be there early July to take it all in, before my Instagram gets flooded with photos.
Kara Kia, Editorial Intern
Banksy Greatest Hits 2002 - 2008, Lazinc, opening 12th July. The eye of our generation, the subversive phantom of graffiti art, it's gotta be artist and activist Banksy. Gallery Lazinc will be hosting a collection of his greatest works in one place - a must-see for lovers of postmodern art.
National Dim Sum Week, Chinatown London, until 6th July. Move aside full English because Dim Sum is my favourite breakfast. For National Dim Sum Week (yes, that's a thing), Orient London (one of the best Dim Sum you will have in the city) are hosting a special menu for first timers, while Leong's Legend is offering bottomless Dim Sum for £19.00 per person.
Rose Lander, International Co-Ordinator
Let’s Eat Grandma - I'm All Ears, released 29th June. The eery, exciting sound of Let’s Eat Grandma ’s first album was almost annoyingly enjoyable when I found out that the bandmates were teenagers and ridiculously cooler than I was when I was doing my mock GCSEs and necking blu WKD. Their new album promises a slightly more mature sound, but with a return of their signature multi-instrumental synth pop. I can’t wait.
The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, Donmar Warehouse, until July 28th. If you have never read Muriel Spark’s The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, in my opinion one of the best 20th century novels, read it now. Like, right now - I’ll wait. If you fall in love with Spark’s languid and insightful account of the impact that one set of schoolgirls had on a maverick but overbearing teacher in a Scottish all girls school, then I’ll see you at the theatre, because you won’t want to miss out on this critically acclaimed adaptation of Spark’s novel either.
Liv Santner, Graphic & Photo Intern
Community Festival, Finsbury Park, 1st July. In this weather how could you refuse a Sunday session? Community festival is an all-day rock and indie festival in Finsbury Park on the 1st July. Two Door Cinema Club and The Vaccines are the headliners but I’m fizzing about Sundara Karma. You can guarantee that there will be head banging followed by some bad dance moves.
Citadel Festival, Finsbury Park, 15th July. Citadel is an all-day indie music festival in London. It is held the day after Lovebox, so you can expect a more mellow vibe, great music, comedy and theatre. Tame Impala, Chvrches, Honne and many more. Clearly all good festivals happen on a Sunday.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
On Saturday, right across from the White House, over 30,000 people came together to protest the inhumane separation and detention of families and asylum seekers. But the demonstration didn't stop there — over 700 other cities participated across the United States.
Families Belong Together organised the march to "tell Donald Trump and his administration to permanently end the separation of kids from their parents. End family internment camps. End the 'zero-humanity' policy that created this crisis. And reunify the children with their parents." According to their website, they are fighting for an end to the systematic criminalisation of immigrants.
Last week, President Donald Trump signed an executive order to quell the problem he created when he instituted a "zero-tolerance policy" last month, choosing to prosecute everyone seeking to enter the country via the Mexico border and to separate children from their parents while doing so. The executive order is not a solution: there are still 2,000 children separated from their families in what are essentially prisons. Moreover, while the government will no longer be separating families, they are still attempting to detain them indefinitely as they prosecute them what what has historically been viewed as a misdemeanour.
What does Trump think of the march? He has yet to officially comment, but according to MSNBC producer Kyle Griffin, Trump is spending the 163rd day of his presidency golfing for the 120th time. He has, however, had time to tweet encouragement to ICE workers, congratulating them on a "fantastic job of keeping us safe by eradicating the worst criminal elements."
We closed out June on cool note as fire planet Mars started its two-month retrograde, but rest assured, things are about to heat up in a big way. To put it lightly, this July is going to be one for the books. It's only just begun, but let's start by looking at the end of the month.
Mercury starts its second retrograde of the year on the 25th, in which it will, as it is wont to do, ask us to reflect on how we communicate. This is no delicate request. As we mentioned, Mars is also retrograde and will stay that way for the whole month, causing our energy and drive to slow way down.
The solar eclipse on the 13th will bring both positive and negative aspects of our lives to light, so prepare to confront hard truths and celebrate unexpected wins, as either or both could await you mid-month. And remember to breathe: Ultimately, this celestial event will make us stronger, better people.
Cancer June 21 to July 22
Opportunities abound this month, Cancer. You've likely been enjoying the fruits of your labour for some time now, and that won't end any time soon. Get ready to cash in on the 22nd when the sun moves into your second house of value and possessions. The other current guest star in this house is Mercury, your planet of spirituality, who will be hanging out all month long. Keep an eye out for more earning opportunities during the messenger planet's stay.
If you work in an industry that focuses on sales or trade, Mercury, aka the communication planet, will be at your side, helping you discover lucrative solutions at the office. Make the most of your honeymoon phase with Mercury before it goes retrograde on the 26th.
The lunar eclipse on the 27th will affect your self-image, so spend some time reflecting on the person you're becoming. Don't take this as an invitation to slip into critic mode, though. Instead, let this be a practice round of showing yourself the same patience and kindness you usually show others.
Illustrated by Abbie Winters.
Leo July 23 to August 22
Solar eclipses affect you a little bit more than everyone else, Leo, and that's because the sun is your ruling planet. But normally, you don't like to hide from your challenges. You'd much rather burn 'em down.
But, eclipses are necessary in life, and even you deserve to take a rest from the limelight. The 13th's eclipse will smack you right in the spirituality sector, making you confront your values and self-image. How much time have you been taking to reflect? This month, make meditation a part of your regular routine. Sitting with yourself will help you better understand your view of the world. From there, it'll be important to see if your personal outlook aligns with how others perceive you.
Who's the Lion? You are. The solar eclipse on the 27th is going to put your relationships (both romantic and professional) under a magnifying glass. If all goes as planned, you'll end this month knowing who is really here for you and who you're here to help.
Illustrated by Abbie Winters.
Virgo August 23 to September 22
This is your lucky month, Virgo. The solar and lunar eclipses this July aren't going to affect you as much as they're expected to affect the other signs. That said, your friends and family may experience some drama thanks to matters beyond our control during the 13th's solar eclipse. Be ready to lend an ear and listen. We spend so much of our time talking about our own experiences and feelings that we often forget to look outside of ourselves for a broader perspective. You have a brain for processes and systems, Virgo, and this month will ask you to put it to use.
Your natural ability to see "the matrix," aka the binary code of this world, makes you a perfect shoulder to lean on during times of confusion. Just make sure that you don't get treated like a doormat — create boundaries you need now. Make sure your relationships consist of both give and take, grow and reap. The lunar eclipse on the 27th of the month will be working its way into your professional life and combining forces with the Mars retrograde. These celestial events will work in tandem to remind you to pick your battles.
Illustrated by Abbie Winters.
Libra September 23 to October 22
Is your natural superpower the ability to be chill at all times, Libra? Sometimes that's how it seems to us, from where we stand on the outside looking in. Your challenge this month will be to maintain your cool, calm, and collected persona when the July 13 solar eclipse occurs in your professional zone. If you work for yourself, it'll be especially important to keep the chaos from getting to you.
If you work somewhere that has an HR team and you're feeling unsure of your career path or just slightly off-kilter, book a meeting with them and find out what you can do to course-correct. The solar eclipse on the 27th will move through your fifth house of creativity and children. If you're a parent, your little ones could be working to establish their identity as individuals right now. Encourage them to grow with a new hobby or skill.
Illustrated by Abbie Winters.
Scorpio October 23 to November 21
Have you heard of BDE yet, Scorpio? This is your sign's secret superpower, also know as confidence! Where does your self-esteem blossom from? We'd say from strategy, intelligence, and impeccable timing, given your sign's penchant for making plans. The solar eclipse on the 13th will arrive in your house of death, sex, and rebirth. As ominous as this might sound, this could actually mean great things for your career, especially if you're ready for a change.
The lunar eclipse on the 27th will pass through your house of family and home, with change-maker Uranus right alongside it. Be prepared for anything on this date, as water signs are set to feel the eclipse's effects more intensely than others. Remember, the best houses are built from the ground up and come with a steady foundation. How stable is your family's current foundation?
Illustrated by Abbie Winters.
Sagittarius November 22 to December 21
July may be a bit of a rough month for you, Sagittarius, but it's nothing that you can't handle. The solar eclipse on the 13th will be passing through your eighth house of sex, death, and rebirth. This is a profound house to host a solar eclipse and it may nudge you to take a big step back from the hubbub of your life and look at the bigger picture.
Do you share an income with a partner? Sit down with them and reevaluate your shared spending. What you can do to prosper as a couple in the short- and long-term? The lunar eclipse on the 27th will occur in your third house of communication and could bring even more money matters to light. Do you have a plan for your student loans? Are your investments paying off? It may feel overwhelming while you're in it, but this eclipse will ultimately help you sort out your financial goals and determine where you see yourself going.
Illustrated by Abbie Winters.
Capricorn December 22 to January 19
You're at the top of your game, romantically speaking, Capricorn. If you're single, you've been attracting all kinds of potential partners (whether you've picked up on their flirty hints or not). But the solar eclipse on the 13th may ask you to get serious about your prospects — who will come out on the other side when this celestial event is over?
To make sure that you're spending your precious time wisely, scale back your schedule to the frontrunners only. After all, what Cap doesn't hate wasting their time? This period will shed light on anyone who isn't "here for the right reasons." If you're attached, it might be time to have some tough conversations, but they'll ultimately make your relationship stronger. On a less romantic note, the lunar eclipse on the 27th will illuminate any bad spending habits that you need to kick. Even responsible Goats could tighten the purse strings sometimes.
Illustrated by Abbie Winters.
Aquarius January 20 to February 18
If you're not happy at work, Water Bearer, this July will help you strategise your next big move. Forces beyond your control could have you rethinking how much you like your current position, even your industry as a whole. Start working on editing your social media presence now — you never know what a potential employer might dig up.
You'll also be well-served by brushing up on your negotiation skills. Learn about how you can self-advocate for a raise or a promotion, Aquarius, because you really do deserve it. Finally, don't forget to check in with superiors to see what you can do to advance to the next level. The lunar eclipse on the 27th will profoundly affect you, since it will take place in your sign. And what do you know, it will be working in tandem with your ruling planet, Uranus, to boot. The planet of change wants you to look back on what you've accomplished and how you can get where you want to be.
Illustrated by Abbie Winters.
Pisces February 19 to March 20
Cue the sigh of relief: July's solar eclipse, arriving on the 13th, won't be earth-shattering. You may notice that your coworkers are a bit more stressed out than usual. Caretaker that you are, you know that the best thing you can do is support them.
This solar eclipse occurs in your house of creativity, encouraging you to start that project or act on those ideas that you've been dreaming about. You never know where your passion can take you with hard work and planning. The lunar eclipse on the 27th will happen in your house of spirituality. But, much like the solar eclipse, you'll be in the eye of the storm, Pisces, stuck watching everyone else do their best to weather it. Take notes and listen to their experiences. Your unique perspective is a learning opportunity. You'll be so prepared when you're presented with a similar situation down the line.
Illustrated by Abbie Winters.
Aries March 21 to April 19
How's that retrograde treating you so far, Ram? Your ruling planet, Mars, is out of bounds all month, which means you might be feeling a little weird, but, hey, weird can be good, especially if you've been seeking a new perspective on old problems. And here's some purely good news: This month could bring you a whole new group of friends, if you're ready to put yourself out there. Try a friendship app like BumbleBFF and look for people who will inspire you and help you live your best life.
The solar eclipse approaches on the 13th in your house of home and relationships. Translation: The universe is asking you to settle down until the 22nd of July to work on home improvement projects and spend some much-needed time with family members. You could even mix the two by looking for new furniture or upgrading that one irksome thing about your home with the help of your sibling or parent. Something as simple as a fresh coat of paint can make a world of difference. The lunar eclipse on the 27th will also hit you in the house of family and home, which signals that you need to solidify your base before you can get started on anything else. We know you don't love moving slowly, Aries, but give it a try just this once.
Illustrated by Abbie Winters.
Taurus April 20 to May 20
July is going to be a pressure cooker of a month for you, Taurus. The solar eclipse on the 13th is arriving in your house of home and family, which may mean girding yourself against familial drama. Your first line of defence? Brush up on your listening skills, Bull. Siblings will need support and they'll come straight to you for it. They're used to counting on you, so make yourself as available as you want to be — and set boundaries if you need to.
The upcoming lunar eclipse on July 27 will affect you more than others, as it hits your house of family and your house of career. Prep for this shakeup by dusting off that CV, taking some classes to enhance your skill set, and prove to the powers that be just how indispensable you really are. Challenges make us stronger, Taurus, and by the end of this month you'll be strong as hell. July isn't all trials and tribulations, though. Venus, your ruling planet, will trine Pluto, your love planet, on July 27. In other words, don't ghost on plans with your friends on or around this day. Love will be in the air and you'll want to spread it all around.
Illustrated by Abbie Winters.
Gemini May 21 to June 20
This month is asking you to take a good, long look at your finances, Gemini. Think of it as the tax season for your sign (feel free to pause and roll your eyes). The solar eclipse on the 13th will ask you to evaluate what you might be wasting money on and how you can redirect your income to help you out in the long run. You never want to end up in a situation where cash isn't accessible, so consider setting up a simple plan that won't leave you the creek. You aren't usually a big planner, but the peace of mind that comes with a rainy day fund is worth the extra work.
Speaking of the long-term, use this celestial event to pin down your financial goals, too. Whether you hope to buy a house, upgrade to a new flat, or budget for all the weddings you said you'd attend this summer, laying these wishes out on paper will help you rest more easily.
Then, the lunar eclipse on the 27th will affect your house of travel, so if you're leaving the country, you ought to invest in some travel insurance and triple-check your itinerary now. Even the most laid back Gem won't like the surprises that come with holiday slip-ups.
Illustrated by Abbie Winters.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
