This week on Refinery29, we’re filling your screens and consciousness with inspiring women over 50. Why? Because living in a culture obsessed with youth is exhausting for everyone. Ageing is a privilege, not something to dread. Welcome to Life Begins At...
Life is longer and the way we work is changing every day, but do we still have outdated ideas when it comes to ageing in the workplace? These five inspiring, successful women have navigated the male-dominated city in the 1980s, started their own businesses or embarked upon enterprises that may just change the world. They explain why getting older means ditching imposter syndrome, gaining confidence and learning from the life lessons a long career gives you. Retirement? Think again.
Moky Makura (51) is currently communications director for the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation and is based in South Africa. Of Nigerian descent and raised in London, she has forged a vastly successful and varied career in Africa from starting her own PR agency, creating and producing hugely popular TV shows and working as a news anchor to working as an actress and writer.
What lessons did you learn at the start of your career? I was first in media sales in London, which I would always recommend as a great start to someone’s career. It’s high pressure and you learn so many skills. What it teaches you is that so much of your life in business is going to be pitching, even yourself – and that is the art of selling! If you master the art of selling, you are set up for whatever career you want to do. One of the best sales skills is also that you listen to the person you’re selling to, and it forces you to fake confidence when you sell and to take control of conversations, which sets you up really well.
What led you to set up your first company? Shortly after my first job in Johannesburg I took another one in Cape Town. That job monumentally messed up my work permit so I was suddenly unemployed in Cape Town. I put all the things I owned in the back of the car and drove 13 hours back to Johannesburg. I thought, I don’t want anyone else to be responsible for my life again. On that car journey, I came up with the idea for my agency. I had everything – company name, the idea, all of it. I got back to Johannesburg and set to work on it. I wanted the first pan-African PR agency. It came out of a sense of burning injustice and anger but I’m so happy it happened!
You have worked across so many different industries, what have you learned from that? That I love working for myself! It was such an amazing time working on all these projects, because I would wake up and think, I want to do this, and I would do it! I would make things happen. I was also working flexibly which worked out so well because I had young kids at the time.
Has your work style developed over the years? Oh gosh, absolutely. I liked to work fast and I think that is a symptom of having worked for myself for so long. Over time though, I learned that speed is not the objective. Understanding and navigating your environment is key. I used to care more about the outcome but now I’m like, well, the outcome is important but let’s not stress too much about it, and let’s all get along while we do it. I used to just highlight the negatives when I would review my employees' work, but now I am very careful about focusing on the positives. My language and stance has changed. I have had to grow into my management style in all my different careers.
Have you ever faced age discrimination? I haven’t faced it myself but I interviewed a particular person once who said that their organisation wouldn’t hire anybody over 40 because they were a tech company and they just didn’t think anyone over that age would understand the environment. I remember being quite offended by that. I think it can be really easy to get worried about ageing – especially when you think you might not understand social media or the way the industry is changing. But it’s important to remember that your core skill set doesn’t change, even if the medium does; Instagram is just another platform for communication and I am good at communications, that understanding is still there.
What’s the best thing about being over 50 in the workplace? The thing I am enjoying more now is I have found the off button on my emails! I am much better at switching off now. I think I have achieved a lot of what I wanted to, so something I love about this stage of my life is that I don’t have to prove myself anymore. There is a natural contentment with where I am, and that comes with age and time. A piece of advice a boss gave me once, which really resonated with me, was: You’d be amazed at what you can do when you don’t have an ego. I really live by that more now today.
Sarah Driver grew up on a tea plantation in Hong Kong, and has worked as a solicitor in the city, an Open University law lecturer, a professional mediator and teacher. She is the founder and head of strategy for educational charity Driver Youth Trust and also runs the Rathfinny Wine Estate in Sussex with her husband Mark.
What was it like as a female solicitor in the city in the 1980s? If I’m honest, I really liked the respect it gave me as a woman. If you said you were a lawyer, people immediately took you more seriously. It shouldn’t have been that way but it was. Yes there was a level of sexism, definitely, that existed on an everyday basis that certainly would not have been acceptable today. I never experienced anything major myself, but when I worked in Hong Kong, the guys on my team would go out for lunch at places where women were not allowed.
How have you seen what it means to be a working mother change over your lifetime? In the city, when I was talking about having children and was raising the idea of bringing them to work and having a crèche – that was a no go. Then, when I had children and wanted to go part-time, that was a complete no go. There were no part-time positions. I actually had a female partner at the time say to me, "I never saw my children when they were growing up, I don’t see why you should." I went back to work when my first child was six weeks old and there was ultimately no way that lifestyle was going to be conducive to having a family. I would have loved to have been able to carry on with my work but I don’t think you can have everything. A lot has changed now. But I think what still has to change is the respect for those women who do take time off to be a mother. Ignoring someone’s merit once they become a parent is really damaging, because that’s the narrative that we are teaching our sons, and they will never be able to leave work to care for children if society does not respect anyone who does that.
You’ve had a very varied career; what have all your different roles taught you? I stopped being a solicitor in the city just before I was 30. I had two small babies and I immediately started [lecturing] at an Open University so that I could keep my mind going and so that I could have something for me. It was such a good experience and all the jobs I had kept me engaged and active and challenged but also allowed me to balance looking after my children. What I took from all of this is that if you follow your instincts, everything you do is of use and informs your life.
Do you think we get better at empathy and understanding as we get older? Yes, although I sort of think I have become a grumpy old lady! I do think certainly you become more empathetic and one of the things I say to people I work with is, "Stand in their shoes and just think about it." But while you develop empathy, I think you also can harden up a bit and see things in a clearer way. You learn from experience so you feel more sure about things, you learn to trust your instincts.
Has your managerial style shifted as you’ve got older? I actually think it has, even just in the time I have been at Rathfinny. If you run your own business and you want something to be done a certain way, I have learned you either have to do it yourself or trust someone to do it. If you do hand it over to someone, you cannot complain about how it is done. I am better at being a big picture thinker now and I think stepping back and seeing that is definitely something that comes with age.
What advice would you give to young women in the workplace? My advice would be to have confidence in yourself, because you are better than you think you are. Never be afraid to ask questions. Be kind, both to yourself and other people. Listen more – I think I still need to do that more. Really stand in other people’s shoes, always do as many things as you can as you will learn from them all. If you slow down a bit and pause, you can actually achieve a lot more.
Do you think you will ever retire? I may retire from full-time work but I can’t think I would ever stop being curious and doing things that interest me.
Linda Morey-Burrows is in her early 50s and is the founder and principal director at MoreySmith, the hugely successful interior design and architectural practice she founded as the culmination of a distinguished 31-year career in the industry.
How does it feel celebrating the 25th anniversary of a company you created? It is a bit surreal and cliché I know, but it really does seem like yesterday when I first launched the business! Although so much has happened these past 25 years, I still remember the moment I decided to go for it and the first few weeks running around a 2500-square-foot office with one phone, one PC, a personal assistant and a grad in Greencoat House, Victoria!
How do you feel your managerial style has shifted since you first started? I have always been impulsive, fast on my feet, a quick decision-maker, excellent at delegating, encouraging the very best in people, getting people to think BIG and to believe in themselves. This has helped me build an entrepreneurial-style business with everyone constantly feeling empowered. I’m still quite frugal but believe in constantly investing in technology, my team and the buildings we work in to try to make our work lives as good as possible.
Do you still get nervous at work? Not really for day-to-day work, but I can get nervous with public speaking. When I’m passionate about the topic or scheme it comes naturally, but it can also be intimidating.
What things bother you at work now that didn't when you were younger? And vice versa: is there anything you love more now? I think a messy and chaotic environment has always bothered me. I love a creative atmosphere as long as the space is orderly, clean and tidy. I do love having time to myself but this isn’t always possible, which is probably why I crave it. I’m a team player and I don’t like a quiet atmosphere. I always have music on around me at home and work, and love to be surrounded by people. I sit in the open studio with my team – I would hate to be in an office – but I sometimes have to take myself off to think – to a buzzy place, like a café, or simply for a walk to clear my head and get inspired. When I was younger I always worried that I looked too young and people didn’t take me seriously, so I dressed quite seriously and maybe a bit older. Now I’m totally the opposite!
In what ways do you think your age and experience is your greatest asset in your job? You never ever stop learning. I still absolutely love what I do, and I get energy from meeting interesting people from all walks of life. I am often meeting with successful CEOs or entrepreneurs, and I love the dynamic of my day, dealing with a creative head of a brand to a CEO or a FTSE 100 executive – I think this is where experience can be my greatest asset. My clients trust my decision and advice, so if I suggest a radical scheme or refurbishment/redevelopment, my years of experience and success gives my team and clients the confidence that perhaps a younger and less experienced designer or architect wouldn’t have.
What advice would you give your younger self? I would recommend taking less on, but I am not sure I would have had the same success if I had listened to my older self. Starting up a business and having three young children in the first five years was always going to be hectic! I wouldn’t give anything up as it has made me a more balanced person in the end.
What are the greatest lessons you think you have learned in your career? Life is unpredictable, listen to your heart as well as your head and only work with people you like, respect and collaborate with the best.
Andrea Leadsom MP (55) is the Leader of the House of Commons and is only the third woman to have held this position. She previously had a diverse and successful career in the financial sector. She will be co-hosting the Women MPs of the World Conference on 8th November with Harriet Harman and Penny Mordaunt.
After 25 years in finance, what made you finally make that jump into politics? Well I actually decided I was going to be an MP when I was 13! I was terrified at the prospect of a nuclear holocaust and I just wanted to make the world a better place. Over the years, the definition of what that means has changed. As I got older it became, "let’s have a sensible economy that rewards effort". I didn’t go into politics concerned with representation but it’s something I am very passionate about now. I am completely committed to fairness and I have now lived through enough unfairness to see how much it matters to our society that women have their voices heard and are represented at all levels of our economy and our society.
Do you approach work differently now than when you were younger? What comes with years of experience is that you realise everything that happens has very serious consequences and when you’re older you are always trying to think through those consequences. You think things through more, you see the strategy, but you’re also responsible for it. I do feel my work/life balance is better now. If I have a long working night ahead of me, I am now more likely to take that home with me and do it with a glass of wine and spend time with my husband! I don’t feel like I have to put in the face-time as much now, just for the sake of it. That sense of clock-watching and face-time changes.
We’re all living longer – are we redefining what ageing means? I think we have changed our views and I think we need to continue to challenge ourselves on that too. The stages of life we associate with different ages just aren’t as true anymore, especially for women. We as politicians need to facilitate that too. When you are in your 60s and 70s you may want to keep working but take on a completely different career. You still have a huge amount to give at that age, especially the wealth of your experience. Life really does stretch out and people’s ability to keep contributing and keep learning new things is really extended.
What would your advice be for younger women, particularly women looking to get into public office? I really do urge all young women to engage in political discourse. Too often people think that politics isn’t of interest to them, but of course everything is political! I would advise women to vote above all, to engage with online petitions and reach out to a political party or local council or MP to get involved.
Is age actually your greatest asset? As I’ve got older I feel that age is just no barrier at all. I definitely don’t feel any different but I feel what age gives you is a confidence and a sense of comfort with yourself and what you think and who you are. I don’t feel any less determined or ambitious and I look at older women who are role models to me and they redefine themselves every few years. If you are 25, you should be thinking, well I have at least five careers ahead of me! I think 55 is an extraordinary time. You have the kind of confidence whereby you feel you don’t need to prove anything. It’s a fantastic age, I recommend it.
Carmel McConnell MBE is in her mid 50s and was an anti-nuclear activist before going on to found her own technology consultancy. She is the founder of Magic Breakfast, an organisation committed to getting impoverished children in the UK a healthy breakfast every morning. For her charitable work she has received an MBE and was the recipient of the 2018 Women of the Year Campaigner Award.
How did you get your start in business? Being an activist and finding that so powerful – because we did stop the nuclear missiles we were protesting – really inspired me. But going from being an activist to a secretary at BT was a huge adjustment. Suddenly your main job for the day is making tea for four men! I had a great boss who encouraged me to do my master's in broadband technology. With this combination of technology and activism background, the question became: How do we build a society where technology is able to do all these amazing things for us but you’ve got values and morality at the core of it. How do you integrate them? So I started my own business, advising companies on how to use technology in this way, how to be leaders in tech, but use it with values! There’s no point creating a financial juggernaut of technology if it’s not going to benefit everyone.
How did you end up creating Magic Breakfast? I got the chance to write a book about my career journey and the power of activism and change back in 2001. Doing the research for that I interviewed a range of people, including five headteachers in Hackney. They all said that they were bringing in food every day because the kids were hungry. It stopped me dead in my tracks. It was such a shock. They were explaining that kids were going in the bins at Tesco to get food. I just couldn’t believe this was happening in this day and age. I didn’t know anything about nutrition at this stage, I just wanted to help. Within a month of setting it up I had 25 schools in Islington, Hackney and Tower Hamlets. This morning we fed 40,000 children in over 500 schools, but there are still over half a million children that woke up this morning in a home without food. The Child Poverty Action Group says that for every class of 30, there are nine kids in poverty, and six of those nine are in working families. Even if you are working your guts out, you still cannot feed your family.
You’ve made a career of giving out great advice, through your books, and also to major FTSE 100 companies. How has the advice you give to those companies changed over your life? I think, because of the power of the millennial, over my life I have seen people now saying that you have to take the social purpose of business seriously. It was the case when I started, that people would say, "Oh but that’s just hippy – businesses are here to make money. Business is not about making a better world." The main change I have seen is more and more companies are now receptive to talking about purpose and corporate responsibility and philanthropy.
How has your work style changed as you’ve gotten older? I love writing and speaking and engaging with people but when it comes to putting together budgets and plans and things like that, I’ve learned to delegate that to people who are better. I have learned to both prioritise stuff and also give more time to things that need more time. I never used to do that, and now I do things before they are needed. Running the firm, I had to learn to be pretty organised, but my natural instinct is not! My list of things to do often just gets added to every day of the week – but one of the things I talked about a lot in my books is becoming friends with your big fat failure. It is a normal part of all of this, because while you are trying and failing, you’re going to fall on your arse a lot! It doesn’t matter.
Do you still get nervous at work? Yeah of course! I think I have become more relaxed as I’ve got older but there are also things that make me feel far more nervous now. I gave a speech in the City today and I was very nervous! I was outside thinking to myself, Please don’t be an idiot. I think nerves are part of the deal though – I think it shows I still care. But a few years ago I had cancer and that made me properly, horribly nervous. I am so lucky to still be here, so it really puts things into perspective. It was a big wake-up call.
What would your advice be for your younger self? I think it would be: Do more of what makes you happy. I think I would advise my younger self to be less hard on myself. I would try and give myself the confidence that comes with knowing that it will all be okay.
Do you feel that age is an asset? I think being taken seriously because of your age and experience is something I now like about getting older. You also start to understand that you have power. I just had no idea that it was possible to bring about social change when I was younger, and I do now.
I am older but I don’t feel old. I don’t have any sense of what being old should be. I should probably be a bit more grown-up by now? But I’m just finding out things about myself now, in my 50s, like I’m going to try and do a marathon! I have always assumed we would be in gradual decline, but now I’m thinking it’s more like gradual increase. Every single year it should be: "Okay, what haven’t I tried yet?"
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